The Fifth Kind of Love
by HuuskerDu
Summary: Everybody knows that Peorth is the embodiment of the third kind of love, called eros. I am the fourth kind, called agape, and of course Belldandy is the fifth kind, called [redacted]. Just before my cool epic heroic death, as my life flashed before my eyes, I had an epiphany about that last one, the fifth kind. Let me explain. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1: Well, That Sucked

**A/N:**

This story is told from Lind's POV.

* * *

**Chapter 1: Well, That Sucked**

I mean, there I was, finally getting my totally cool epic heroic death scene. I was saving literally the whole universe, all of Yggdrasil, and all of Heaven - and everybody was watching me - Tyr, Odin, Hild, everybody, and it was _so cool._

And then Belldandy just had to step in and mess up my cool death. Literally. She stepped right in front of me and took the shot.

Argh! That was supposed to be my swan song!

You see, I am literally the embodiment of the fourth kind of love, called _agape_ (ah-gah-pay). Webster's defines it as 'selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love, the highest of the four types of love'. That's me.

I was supposed to take the shot and save Heaven, not Belldandy. I mean, it's my dang job. It was why the Almighty created me in the first place!

Everybody in Heaven knows that Belldandy is the living embodiment of an even higher kind of love, the fifth one, called [redacted].

So she trumped me.

For her to die like that, right in front of Keiichi, to literally die in his arms like that, it should have been _me_. Grumble.

So at that moment I Bonded them. I mean, what else could I do?

You see, we first class goddesses are kind of special. When you get up to our level we become a sort of, well, an abstraction really. We're not real people.

Now, Keiichi, that kid is a real person. So is Urd (she's only second class). But high level entities? Beings like Peorth, myself, and Belldandy? We aren't what you would consider 'people'. Not really.

Take Peorth for example. She is the living embodiment of the third kind of love, called _eros_, that is, intimate or romantic love. It is not necessarily sexual (though it often is).

Because we operate at such a high level we have some weird deficiencies. For example, I was totally clueless about _eros_. I didn't even realize that Peorth was always hitting on me until after my 950th birthday. Before then I thought the mutual washes in the bathtub were for hygiene.

I was totally clueless right up to the moment when my husband took my virginity from me.

Looking back, it was pretty funny. I pointed at his thing - I had never seen one before - and screamed like a little girl. Then it felt to me like a pleasurable attack, and I almost killed him by accident, my defensive reflexes. (I am _very_ dangerous. There is a good reason why I almost never am seen interacting with mere mortals: They don't survive long in my presence unless I really restrain myself.) I ordered him to tie me up first. It was for his protection.

Afterwards, when he told me that I would bleed the first time only, I felt a bit disappointed.

I've since mellowed out quite a bit, and he doesn't need to tie me up any more (much). You can probably tell that I've changed a bit. I'm more mellow now. I'm not quite so insanely dangerous all the time. It's because my husband and his bondmate have both rubbed off on me. It has to do with that Bonding I was forced to do on the two of them.

Where was I? Oh yeah.

Like I said, Belldandy jumped right in front of me and took Hild's final shot. That whole thing, Hild's ingenious plan, was so _epic_. I mean, Hild was going for it. Totally. She was gunning for the whole enchilada, taking on the great Daitenkaicho, Tyr, himself. That girl has stones, I tell you.

So we were all gathered together for the big dénouement up in Heaven. Basically, Hild's plan was to replace Tyr with Belldandy, put her on the throne Upstairs, and then pull her strings from Downstairs. It was a clever, clever, plan. Her best. That she would intentionally die making it happen was just a minor inconvenience for her. She wanted it all. Her endgame was to rule Heaven through Belldandy while taking over her daughter's body to rule Hell as Urd.

But Belldandy just had to go and wreck everything. So, Hild is now dead. And Urd is now Niflheim's caretaker until a more suitable replacement can be found. And Belldandy is also dead. And I'm alive with my new husband.

Dang it! This is so totally messed up!

So anyway, like I said, as Belldandy lay dying in Keiichi's arms, I Bonded them. I had no choice. I'll explain that next.

* * *

**A/N:**

This story is a humorous counterpart to my big honking huge epic sprawling galactic romance mystery fic, _The Final Act of Haruki Suzumiya._ Both stories explore the concept of [redacted] and share the same central thesis: that [redacted] is really [redacted] from the perspective of [redacted].


	2. Chapter 2: There's No Kill Like Overkill

**Chapter 2: There's ****No Kill Like Overkill**

So, like, one day I get called up to Heaven and summoned to Tyr's private office.

Tyr is the boss of Valhalla. He's called the Daitenkaicho, which means 'President of Heaven'. I report to directly to him, as I am the leader of the combat Valkyries, called the Fighting Wings - basically Heaven's elite military attack force. I am the strongest and deadliest of all the Valkyries in Heaven.

So anyway, Tyr calls me to report to his office and he gives me my mission briefing. Wait, you want me to do a hit job? On a mere mortal?

C'mon, Tyr, just tell Thor, Odin's son, to do it. You remember Thor, right? Just have old hammer-brains chuck a lightning bolt down at the guy. But noooo, Tyr says there is no such thing as a lightning storm in space. No can do.

But why me? It seemed like so much pointless overkill. Being the leader of Valhalla's combat Valkyries, I usually don't wrangle with anything less than a first class demon. It was insulting.

So I told him I'd delegate it to one of my subordinates, Chrono. You see, Chrono switched from Peorth's sysadmin team to my combat team a year earlier. She's still pretty green, but I felt that a hit job would help toughen her up.

Tyr wouldn't let me. He insisted that I had to be the one to do it, personally. Fine, whatever. He handed me the briefing folder. I glanced at the photo. Yuck, this guy was ugly. I then tossed the folder aside.

He said he wanted me to cowboy the guy. Big and splashy. Good. That's my style.

Then I asked him, why the hit? He said it was to prevent genocide or some such. Something about saving 5 billion 'fuhl-cahn' lives from genocide. It seems this guy was from 'rommy-land' or something. Don't remember, don't care.

That's kind of a problem for me, I mean not reading my mission briefs. Tyr is always calling me on the carpet about it, about how I don't bother to read the rules of engagement. Don't care. You point me at something and stand back. Otherwise don't choose me.

So, I traveled forward in time about 200 years or so and popped up in front of the guy.

Eeeeewww. I was standing ankle deep in some kind of disgusting bilge water. It stank of rotting debris. My shoes got soaked. Great, those were my favorites. And the smell, ugh. Didn't this jerk ever hear of a wet vacc, or a sump pump? That stink, yuck. I will never forget it. And I still can't get rid of the athlete's foot that I contracted that day. So you see, I was already getting kind of pissed off. And hoo boy, that is never a good thing if you are my target.

So anyway, my target was sitting in a dark eggshell-shaped chair. He had some kind of rod or staff, maybe it was to symbolize his power or something. He said, "I half expected someone like you would show up."

I said, "Well, you hit the jackpot buddy. I'm as good as it gets."

"I suppose."

I had my halberd pointed at him (it's a safety feature). Tyr said I needed to talk to him first, to ask him if there was anybody else floating around with the same murderous intent against the fuhl-cahns or Earth. The rod guy must have been feeling magnanimous or something. He told me that there was such a guy, named John Harrison (at T+28 years). I thanked him for the intel. Maybe he thought it would get him off the hook. Nice try, you ain't getting out of this one, you smelly bald twit. And what's with the stupid face tattoos?

Next I bet you think I impaled him or something. Did not! I didn't.

Instead he did something completely unexpected. He pushed a button on his staff and two blades popped out. It was a toothpick compared to my number 15 halberd. Then get this, the idiot actually charged at me, going all "yyarrgghhh!" and everything. He was going to try to impale that thing into my chest. I wasn't going to impale him, he was actually going to try to impale _me_.

I mean, this was going beyond insulting.

I smirked and stepped aside. But then I tripped over a submerged cable or something. I fell into that bilge water face first. Argh! I think I got some up my nose. Eeewww.

Wait, my hand was inside something kinda squishy under the water. You see, I had thrust my arms in front of me to brace my fall, and one of my hands had apparently gone right through the chest of some other guy. A dead guy. I didn't do it, I mean he was already dead, and I didn't create the hole in his chest either. My hand just went through it, that's all. Gross!

Meanwhile, the loony tattoo guy stops charging and just looks at me. I floundered around a bit and worked to get out of that sewage and stand up.

I still had a snootful of that bile up my nose.

So I sneezed.

He exploded.

Oops.

Oh that's just _great_. Now there are ludicrous gibs all over my nice white combat uniform. Do you know how hard it is to remove bloodstains from my uniform? It's the protein. You gotta soak it in bleach for like an hour. That's why I always wear white, because the bleach won't discolor anything.

Oh! I think some of his brain got in my mouth. Eeeewwwww!

Dang it. This hit job sucked. I didn't even kill him, not intentionally anyway. I couldn't even claim self-defense.

Now, the other members of his crew were all staring at me, frozen in their places. I can understand that. They had just seen their captain explode, and from their vantage point I can see why it did kinda look like I whacked him. (But I didn't!)

Then one of those idiots took a potshot at me with some kind of laser pistol or something.

I didn't read the rules of engagement so I wasn't sure if I was allowed to do anything to them. But self-defense is always valid.

You see, I was feeling kinda pissy. I mean, Tyr drags me halfway across the galactic sector just to stand in a swamp and sneeze at a guy.

But yeah, they shot first, so hey, it's game on.

Actually it wasn't. I didn't feel like playing catspaws with a bunch of practice dummies. Like I said, I was feelin' pissy. So I just stamped my foot.

It split the whole thing in half. I was now floating in space.

It was a pity. That sucker was like 100 kilometers long. I was really sad that I broke my new toy so quickly, because I really liked how it looked from the outside. All spiky and nasty looking. It was a thing of beauty. In fact it was so nice that I had already decided I wanted to steal it. What a sweet ride. I was going to tool around Valhalla with it, just for the badass effect.

You see, during the sesquicentennial parade my gals in the Fighting Wings march for review in front of Tyr and Odin. I was going to lead the parade and ride this thing from the top, straddle it between my legs, with some horse reins to steer it around.

And after the parade I'd go all Eric Cartman and refuse to share the ride on my sweet toy with Peorth or anybody else. Just to annoy them. Heh.

Oh well. I accidentally broke it, and so the thing started to fall into the sun. This is why Tyr always says that I can't have nice things.

Maybe I can ask Skuld to stitch it back together again for me? Naw, she'd just mess up the aesthetics. She'd probably glue Banpei's stupid fat smiling face on the front prow or something. That kid has got no sense of style at all. Just let it go.

And then something hit me. Something actually _hit_ me. It hit my hair. Dang it! Do you know how hard it is to find a beautician that will cut my hair the way I want it? Asymmetrical. They are always trying to 'balance' it. I don't want it balanced, you putz!

Argh, that hit on my hair ruined the effect! You are soooo dead! Self-defense time, baby!

I whirled around to find out where it was coming from. It was a little itty bitty toy spaceship, with a round saucer section connected to two cigar shaped thingys. The little ship looked kinda trashed, and the stupid thing was shooting these little lasers everywhere. I saw the inscription on the hull, "USS Celsius" or something. Don't remember.

The point is, it took a shot at me, and like I said I was feeling pretty pissy. So it was game on.

That little ship had all these turrets shooting red lasers at me. I mean, that was sooo stupid. Not the potshots, the lasers themselves. Who arms their ship like that? I mean, really now. It looked like a bad _Star_ _Wars _movie or something.

I got news for you, baby. Lasers are supposed to be invisible. There is literally no atmosphere in space for the photons to ablate the air molecules. You shouldn't be able to see anything at all. It was a pity, because that little ship could have stood a better chance against me that way (well, not really), for although I can dodge at the speed of light, I wouldn't have known where the shots were going to dodge 'em.

Those idiots should have used _real_ space combat tactics. You almost never see that in Hollywood or on animes. Well, wait, there was this one anime series, called _Starship_ _Operators_. It's the only TV show that got space combat even remotely right. It's my all time favorite space anime 'cuz of the realistic combat tactics.

You see, in real space wars, the whole thing is stealth. Peek and shoot. And it's all silent. Every shot is a one-hit-kill. There are never any survivors. And you engage from a distance of at least 100,000 kilometers or further. Range wins too.

Range and stealth. The hardest part is hiding your heat signature. Otherwise in the IR you'd show up like a Christmas tree.

Real space combat is incredibly boring. Nothing happens until the kill shot. And the recipient doesn't even have time to react with a decent death scene. Boom. Gone. Very dull.

Now for some reason, _Starship_ _Operators _got crap ratings. It was like nobody wanted to watch it or something. It was a pity, because it was my favorite show. I'd watch the TV and throw popcorn at the screen, "Hide behind that asteroid, you dummy! Peek and shoot! Woo hoo!"

Peorth stayed away on my TV nights.

Anyway, on a whim I started playing with the toy ship like a catspaw. I'd zip behind it and watch all the shooting stop for a couple seconds as they tried to figure out where I went. Then it would start up again. I zipped around them like that a half dozen times. Yawn.

I didn't notice at the time that a bunch of little lifeboat crafts were fleeing from the rear cigar shaped thingy. They were fleeing, not attacking me, so I let 'em go. I didn't know the rules of engagement and didn't want to get in trouble with the Big Guy. No sense getting him mad at me. (And he's the only guy who could possibly take me in a fair fight.)

The itty bitty ship kept shooting at me. So somebody was still on board trying to piss me off. Those idiots. If they only stopped shooting I might have been magnanimous and let them all go. Pity.

So I snapped my finger and broke the little ship for good.

Ouch! That stupid thing had anti-matter inside it! I must have set it off. I got hit right in the face with a 97 megaton matter and anti-matter explosion. Great, now I'm covered in soot. I must look like Marvin the Martian in blackface. Argh!

I so hate this stupid mission!

Uhm, where was I? Oh yeah.

So anyway, I was supposed to tell you about the Bonding spell that I cast on Keiichi and Belldandy. I got kinda distracted there, sorry. It happens to me a lot. Short attention span. Ok, I'll explain it next, like right now.


	3. Chapter 3: The Eternal Bond

**Chapter 3: The Eternal Bond**

So anyway, I cast an epic Bonding spell on Keiichi and Belldandy as she lay dying in his arms.

I had to. Let me explain.

You see, we first class goddesses have some pretty special powers. Each of us is unique in some way. For example, as the leader of the Fighting Wings I have the unique power to cast an epic Bonding spell at the moment of death.

Now, nobody knows how old that spell is, or who originally invented it. That historical fact has been lost in time. All I know is that I learned it when I got my 4th star as the new leader of the Fighting Wings. I'm still unsure how I learned the spell exactly. It seems innate. Only a first class Valkyrie can cast it, and currently I am the only one in Valhalla with that rank (well, besides Belldandy herself, of course).

As everybody in Valhalla knows, a Valkyrie (from the Old Norse _valkrja_, 'chooser of the slain') is a female goddess who decides which Vikings die in battle and which survive. Those that die go up to Valhalla and they become the _einerjar_, where they eat, drink, and get smashed every night celebrating their battles in their prior life. It's basically a big eternal stag party.

It's all pretty fun. I've been to those bashes myself. Man, those dead Vikings really know how to party.

It will all end at Ragnarök, at the Last Battle, where the _einerjar_ will go into battle one last time, led by Tyr and Odin against Hild (or rather, whoever Hild's permanent successor will be). In the Last Battle all the gods and daemons of first class rank or higher will be killed (Tyr, Odin, Thor, Freyr, Loki, Peorth, Urd if she's 1st class, Hagall, Marller, etc.)

It is a real pity that Belldandy and I won't be there ourselves, as we will already be dead by then. That final battle is one I really don't want to miss, dang it. But them's the breaks. We won't be there, sigh.

Now, unlike most epic spells, the Bonding spell is very fast and does not require prep time. This is because it is only meant to be used by a first class Valkyrie _in extremis_. You see, the purpose of the Bonding spell is an attempt to preserve the life of a fallen fighter who (in the opinion of the first class Valkyrie) should not have died in battle. It has to be used quickly, within a minute or so of death, before the brain cells start to permanently die due to anoxia.

Bonding is a _very_ powerful spell, but it has many drawbacks:

Number one: Only the soul or spirit can be saved, not the body.

Number two: The soul must be quickly transferred into another container, another body, typically shared with its original owner.

Number three: The two souls must be highly aligned and compatible, otherwise there will be psychic trauma that will quickly lead to death for the Bonded soul and possibly the host as well. Typically they must be lovers (the third level of love minimum).

Number four: Both must be of the same rank. For example, both must be mortal, or both must be first class goddesses. (Yeah, I know. I'll explain that one.)

Number five: Even if all the conditions are met, the transfer is never 100%. Much of the original soul, its memories and experiences, will be lost forever.

So I Bonded them. I transferred Belldandy's soul into Keiichi's head. Like I said, I had no choice. I had to do it within 60 seconds or she'd be lost forever.

Now, doing a Bonding between a first class goddess and a mere mortal was technically against the rules. Yeah, that teeny weeny rule number four. I see you spotted that one. I was hoping you would overlook it. I was hoping that Tyr would overlook that one too.

He didn't.

He was _pissed_. He didn't show it on his face, but I could tell.

How could I tell? Maybe it was because he smilingly threatened to Seal me for a century. So, you gals on my fighting team, let me give you a little pro tip: When the Big Guy starts throwing around the 'S' word, it means that the [bleep] just got real, and it means he is _mad_. Don't believe his face. He's PO'ed. And never, ever, sass back when he's like that. You gals all know I like to sass Tyr a lot (Odin too), all in friendly camaraderie, and I don't mind you sassing me even though I outrank you (I like spunk), but never sass back when he's like that. Just bow as deep as you can, and apologize like 1000 times, and back away out of there as fast as you can, while still bowing. I mean it.

He decided not to Seal me. Instead he gave me a fitting punishment. I admitted it fit the crime.

But before he punished me, he led a touching funeral service. Belldandy's body was burned in a traditional nordic funeral pyre. Everybody was there from both Valhalla and Niflheim.

Even Anzus was there. You almost never see her in person. She's that rare bird, an Aggregate Principal Representative. That rank is higher than even a first class goddess. (And she's Tyr's wife to boot.) And if you think us first class goddesses are kind of weird, boy you should see that whack job. I mean, she's got four white wings sprouting right out of her _head_. How does she even fly with those? I mean, the aerial dynamics are all wrong. There's no way to get decent lift because the wing pairs would interfere with each other. She's really weird in other ways too. She once picked a huge fight with Hild, and they mutually impaled each other, and that was just a friendly greeting between wives (!).

I don't think I'd ever want to try to take her on. She's too weird.

So like I said, everybody was there. They all assumed that Belldandy was dead. The Big Guy gave a moving oratory of the selfless dedication and service of his middle daughter - the one he had with his second wife Anzus - not the half demon he earlier had with Hild.

Actually, it was a dual funeral because of the doublet system. For you see, Welsper had died the same time that Belldandy did. Their bodies were burned side by side.

Urd led the Niflheim contingent. She was dressed in black and red. I tried to say 'Hi' but she was busy with Hagall, Marller, and some of her other senior minions. I did a quick check of her chevrons and forehead symbol. Still blue, not red. Good.

Marller looked nervous, and Hagall was smirking. That is not so good. I knew that Hagall was nasty and needed watching, so I tried to stay close. Urd saw me and motioned me away. Peorth saw it too and thought that was rude of Urd, but I understood and kept my distance. We didn't want a bar fight to break out in Heaven during a funeral.

Tradition said that this was a neutral time, that all mourners would be given safe passage. I worked with my Fighting Wings as escorts to preserve the peace. There were no incidents to speak of. And far as I could tell, neither Hagall nor the other daemons pulled any stunts nor got near any sensitive areas like the Yggdrasil command consoles. I checked with Peorth and she told me that all systems were a-ok.

After the funeral, the Big Guy quietly grabbed my elbow and dragged me back to his office for a private little chat. Gulp.

He then punished me there: He ordered me to personally fulfill Keiichi's wish, that "a goddess like you would stay by my side forever". The problem was that 'like you' meant it had to be a first class goddess, and there aren't many of us around.

Peorth was the natural candidate. But he said I had to do it myself. It was the Big Guy's kick in my ass. And frankly I deserved it. But still, for Belldandy, I would have done the Bonding again. For her.

Now, the Big Guy hinted darkly that he made some 'adjustments' to my Bonding. At the time I had no idea what he meant by that. Hoo boy, would I learn that one quick after the boy woke up.

Skuld was inconsolable, so I planned to let her in on the secret as soon as Keiichi woke up and I could check him. I didn't want to get Skuld's hopes up too soon, in case Belldandy didn't survive the Bond.

Or worse. I mean I had no idea how shredded Belldandy's soul might be in its current state. It might be totally swiss cheesed, and she might wake up inside him a drooling idiot. That was a horrible thought. I really hoped that wouldn't happen. No, I won't tell Skuld anything yet. Not until he wakes up and I could check them both.

I didn't realize how scared and alone the poor kid really was. She didn't have any close friends in Valhalla (her personality was a bit grating, I guess). The Big Guy ordered me to keep the Bonding a complete secret, but he granted an exception for Skuld because she'd figure it out soon anyway. We became friends.

Keiichi remained unconscious. Skuld and I took him back home to the temple. I was going to stay, so I moved into Belldandy's room.

We ministered to the sleeping boy for a month. Skuld and I soon became very close. I grew to love her. It was _phillia_, sisterly love, the second kind of love.

She gave me some pro tips on how to MacGyver explosives in battle. That was kind of neat. I didn't know you could do that with wood pulp and rubber bands.

We had fun. We played outside. I shot low-intensity bolts at her while she playfully tried to dodge. She was actually pretty good at dodging my attacks. I could tell she had innate skills that some day might be really handy in a combat Valkyrie. Maybe I should invent a new class, the Combat Engineer, to blow up bridges and stuff, and make her my first inductee. She certainly knows how to blow stuff up. And she's got spunk. I like that.

* * *

Then one day the boy woke up.

And then I quickly I learned about Tyr's so-called 'modifications' to my Bonding.

Holy [bleep].

Now I knew why Tyr was so pissed at me. Oh dear..


	4. Chapter 4: The Bear Hug

**Chapter 4: The Bear Hug**

Woah, stuff was flying everywhere in the room.

Do you remember that episode of the old TV show _Star Trek_, called Plato's Stepchilden? If you don't, I'll give you the rundown: You see, the USS Enterprise was summoned to a planet called Platonius due to a medical emergency. The planet's leader, a greek king named Parmen, was suffering from sepsis and was having deliriums. All Platonians have strong telepathic and telekinetic powers (basically they were all ersatz gods and goddesses). Parmen's fevered mind was flinging around furniture, vases, greek pillars, all sorts of crap. McCoy had to give him a sedative to calm him down.

That was basically what was happening here. Keiichi was only half-conscious by that point. And he was thrashing back and forth on the tatami mat and moaning. Stuff was flying everywhere: Books, furniture, his old cheesy phonograph player, his vinyl records, his porn mags, a couple mice that must have been in the room, everything. His eyes were tightly shut and he was calling out, "Belldandy! Belldandy! No!"

I'm pretty good at dodging stuff so nothing actually hit me. Skuld was doing a really good job of dodging too. (That kid is starting to impress me. She's got spunk.)

That poor man was in such in grief. Well, we were all were still in mourning. I understood completely. The room damage was not his fault. I was used to seeing death. Too used to it. I had seen far too much of it in my lifetime.

This was going to be hard for me to explain to Keiichi when he wakes up, that Belldandy is actually alive inside his own mind now. I hope he forgives me. I should have been the one who died, not Belldandy.

But I was looking forward to it also. Not just for telling him that Belldandy was alive (in a sense), but also because he would be literally closer to her than he ever imagined possible. You see, the Bible talks about marriage being when a woman cleaves to her husband and they become one flesh. Well, this was _better_. They were going to become as intimate as two lovers could ever possibly be.

I was envious. It will be magical between them. I knew nothing of the third kind of love, _eros_, nor the fifth kind, Belldandy's kind. Keiichi was going to soon experience all five in the strongest way possible.

He still hadn't woken up fully. The thrashing was going on for awhile now. I was getting worried. I noticed his arm and leg motions were in rhythm with all the flying crap. He was in such pain. I started to wonder about psychic pain. Maybe he's not compatibile with Belldandy's soul and was suffering a Bonding rejection? Uh-oh. That was a bad thought. Oh please no.

So I did something. I'm still not sure why I did it. I just did. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time. Actually, it was the right thing to do.

I crawled in bed with him from behind and held him tightly, preventing his arms and legs from moving. I kept telling him, "It's all right. I'm here. Everything is going to be fine. Just relax. Calm down. It's ok. You're going to be fine. We're all going to be fine. I'm holding you. I'm here."

I'm not sure why I said those exact words, but I did. He calmed down quickly and his breathing became regular. He was no longer in a coma, he was merely asleep. His face looked peaceful.

Skuld wondered aloud why all the crap flew around. I made up some half-truth that since Keiichi was up in Heaven for a bit that he contracted some, uh, temporary heavenly side effects. (Kinda true. As an L1 I am forbidden to lie outright.) She bought it. I then planned to come clean and tell her about Belldandy after I check on them.

I told Skuld the boy will probably wake up soon. We decided to let him sleep for now. I said I'd take the first shift this time. She didn't want to leave him, but I told her it was okay. She smiled and said in mock anger that she was going to kick him when he woke up. I knew she was kidding. It was the first time I saw Skuld smile since the incident. Very good. She's starting to heal a bit. I told her to go to the kitchen and make us something to eat (I'm a lousy cook), and that I'm sure Keiichi will want something to eat too. He'll be ravenous. She said, "I got an idea! I'll program Banpei to be an auto-chef!" Fine, whatever, thank you. She left.

So I was alone with the man, my first and only real friend, to whom I had promised a few years ago that he would be my lifelong friend, not just for saving my dear angels from Hild's monster back then, not just for temporarily hosting one of my angels in a sneak attack (which should have been impossible), not just for saving everybody that awful day, and not just because his mind was so aligned with my own that he could actually host my angel. It was because we were close. It was because we loved each other.

It was _agape,_ the fourth kind of love. I would have gladly sacrificed my life for him in an instant, and he would have done it for me.

You see, after we had defeated Hild's angel-eater monster, and she and Marller had fled, and just before I said goodbye and departed for Heaven, I had asked him at the last second if it was okay if I called him my lifelong friend. He said he'd be honored. He smiled. I did too. I smiled for the first time in two centuries.

So I departed to Heaven and resumed my fighting duties. I've never forgotten him. It was odd that I tended to remember him whenever I was in a near death struggle. It's happened several times now. I'm not sure why.

My arms were still wrapped around him on the tatami mat. Why didn't I let him go? I'm not sure. It felt so _right._ I felt tingly.

Wait, it felt too right. Was this _eros?_ But I don't know eros. I never had it, never will. It is not allowed for a combat Valkyrie. That emotion is literally not part of my psyche. It was surgically removed from my mind by Doctor Nyd when I joined up, during the induction ceremony. So I can never experience it. That's the rule. No hanky panky for combat Valkyries. It was a good rule, and I approved. Otherwise my gals would be jumping each other in the foxholes after surviving each attack.

Hmm. I'm literally not like this. Something weird is going on.

It's like someone was planting a suggestion in my mind or something.

Wait a moment.. Hey!

{ Lind: Belldandy, what are you doing!? }

{ Belldandy: Tee hee, you caught me. }

{ Lind: You know I can't do this! }

{ Belldandy: Actually you can. You already are. }

Oh that's just _great._ I did a mental facepalm.

This was not good. Not good at all. I'm going to get fired from my job.

Let me explain.. sigh..


	5. Chapter 5: Achoo! Gesundheit!

**Chapter 5: Achoo! Gesundheit!**

Lemmie explain.. ugh.

You see, us first class goddesses all have some telepathic abilities. We can send thoughts to each other subvocally. Just by thinking about the other first class goddess. Usually they need to be nearby, and it only works for a short period of time (it is rather exhausting), but it allows us to send thoughts to each other quickly.

I use telepathy a lot in combat. It's very handy for quickly sending orders out to my fighting gals. I can broadcast to all my gals even though they are not first class goddesses. It goes only one way in that case, however. They can't transmit back, well except for when they experience the death ecstasy.

Everybody hears that one. The death ecstasy, I mean. It's like having loud sex with yourself. Everybody hears that one in their heads when one of my gals bites it. All combat Valkyries have that wonderful gift. It is the biggest mental rush they will ever experience in their lives (and their last, unfortunately). The endorphins are monstrous. It's also instantly physically addicting, like crack cocaine. That's why it only happens once, during death in combat. It's a final gift for a job well done. I am very much looking forward to experiencing the death ecstasy myself soon. It's going to be such an awesome head rush.

Anyway, I'm pretty good at telepathic communication because of all the combat experience. It's like exercise, a muscle. Use it or it will atrophy. So I can easily broadcast to my gals even through they aren't first class.

Peorth, however, sucks at it. It is 'cuz she's so lazy. She never practices anything. I mean, she just floats and reads those stupid romance mangas all day during work. She is absolutely terrible at telepathy because she's so out of practice.

I've used telepathy once before with Belldandy. You see, she and I had a quick mental conversation during our joint battle against the angel eater. I helped her during the battle, and she owed me. So she mentally promised me that she would join me in my next battle, side by side, the next time I called upon her. (Which I have not done yet.) She had agreed to fight along side me, even unto the death. It was a quick and silent agreement between our two minds. That was how it worked.

Now, Belldandy's mind must be very strong, because I could now hear her voice inside my head as clear as a bell, and I didn't need to expend much mental energy to pick it up. That meant we could carry on an extended conversation.

This was very good. I knew it meant that a large fraction of Belldandy's very strong mind had successfully Bonded with Keiichi. No major mental damage.

Hmm, it must be kind of cramped in there. Keiichi is a nice man but he's no genius. I wondered how Belldandy could fit inside that small skull. She later told me that it was really a tight fit, and she had to jettison a lot of old memories to squeeze in. But apparently she was able to successfully keep most of her important personality engrams and her key memories. But she jettisoned a lot of stuff. She had to. She only had seconds.

Considering the triage situation she did it pretty well I thought. She's mostly there.

Hmm, was Holy Bell now inside Keiichi's head too? That was a good question. I wasn't sure if a Bond also drew in the dying Valkyrie's angel or not. The loss of an angel is psychically very traumatic, so I kinda guessed Holy Bell was in there somewhere, still bonded with her bond-mate (an angel uses a very similar spell to my Bond spell to get inside the head of her bond-mate.) So Holy Bell was probably inside Belldandy's 'mind', however that worked. Minds within minds. This was getting too complicated for me.

I never did ask Belldandy about it. That was because I didn't have time - it was one crazy crisis after another.

And, yeah, the first crisis hit immediately. I heard something in my head that really scared me.

{ Belldandy: Wait, where's the limiter?! I can't feel it. }

{ Lind: Uh, what limiter? }

{ Belldandy: What!? How could you forget that? He could sneeze and destroy the world in this state! }

{ Lind: Wow, really? }

{ Belldandy: Yes, really! You need to get a limiter on him _now_! Hurry! }

Hoo boy. Not good. This was hay fever season. I was sneezing pretty hard myself.

I mean, my last hay fever sneeze accidentally blasted Banpei about 4 kilometers west. Skuld wasn't happy about that. His power cables don't go that far and she had to drag his clanky metal ass back on foot. I apologized. Fortunately she found me some antihistamines in Urd's lab and I took them.

Man, that was a big sneeze. And I had an unlimited license, just like Bellandy. That meant I could nuke the world accidentally if I wasn't careful. That is why all of us first class, unlimited license, goddesses had to wear metal limiters at all times. I mean, hoo boy, if I ever sneezed as hard as that without my limiter...

Oh crap! There was no time to get snoot pills into Keiichi!

Then I saw it. Uh-oh.

He was still delirious, but I could see his nose starting to twitch, and he was inhaling deeply. Argh, no! I jumped down and put my finger under his nose to stifle the sneeze. Ahh.. ahh... ahhhhh. He stopped. Man, that was close!

I gotta do something! I need a limiter!

I yelled for Skuld. She came running in. Skuld, I need to borrow your limiter, right now! Hurry and give it to me!

She said, "What limiter? I don't have any spell powers yet, you idiot."

Oh, yeah, crap. Dang it!

"Sheesh, I'm missing my favorite TV show." Then Skuld stomped out the room to resume watching the TV.

What do I do? Oh no, he's inhaling deeply again. Panic! Panic! Panic!

Wait, I can use my own limiter. My number 15 halberd. Yeah!

I shoved it right into his hands. It was kind of laying across his chest.

{ Belldandy: Ouch! I think you are crushing his ribcage, I can feel it! Stop that! }

Oops, yeah, it's pretty heavy. I'm the only combat Valkyrie that can even lift a number 15 halberd. Okay okay.. think quick, oh, I can switch it. I flipped into null space and grabbed a number 3 halberd out of the repository. It's trainee size, pretty light. It's kind of a toothpick. So I shoved that itty bitty one into his hands instead.

I only hope it's enough.

{ Lind: There, is that okay? }

Then suddenly, before Belldandy could answer me, Keiichi let rip a big sneeze. "Achoo!"

I dived for cover. The sneeze blasted off a good chunk of the roof of the temple. But at least the world still existed.

{ Belldandy: Uhm, yeah, it's working. That was too close. }

{ Lind: Sorry.. }

I could hear Skuld yelling from the room down the hall, "Hey, keep it quiet in there! I can't hear the TV!"

{ Belldandy: Oh, Lind, I'm so disappointed in you. Didn't you ever study anything at all in Goddess School? You know how important a limiter is when you have an unlimited license. It's basic. }

{ Lind: Look, I said I was sorry. }

Yeah, she was right. I was a terrible student. I think it was because of my really short attention span, and my propensity for a bit of the old ultra-violence. Those traits were not particularly conducive to good study habits.

You see, I was pretty messed up as a kid. I was basically a punkette, a kind of a female version of that punk guy, you know, in Anthony Burgess' science-fiction novel, _A Clockwork Orange_. The one starring Malcolm McDowell as Alex. I was an Alexette. I'd even sing _Singing in the Rain_ as I whacked Bandersnatchi from 500 yards with my slingshot. Man, the gibs were ludicrous. Got in trouble. Didn't know that Bandersnatchi were sentient.

And I was always shooting Pu94 spitballs at this other girl sitting in the desk in front of me, and she'd shoot back. I mean, it was harmless fun. The explosions were only a few kilotons. Yet they hauled my ass to the Vice Principal's office like every single time.

Anyway, the immediate crisis was over. I went to the TV room and told Skuld to get some snoot pills for Keiichi from Urd's lab. She whined about missing her show, but I told her to scoot and do it. Then I returned and sat cross legged near the boy's head and sulked.

Then I looked closely at Keiichi's face, and I saw it. I gasped. It was slowly fading in on his forehead and the sides of his cheeks.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

Uh-oh. I'm in trouble..


	6. Chapter 6: Panic! Panic! Panic!

**Chapter 6: Panic! Panic! Panic!**

Keiichi had fully woken up. He tried to sit up on the tatami mat but collapsed again.

I said, "Keiichi, no, don't get up yet. You've been, uh, hurt, and Skuld and I have been looking after you. Taking care of you. You're fine, but you are still pretty weak. Just don't get up yet, ok?"

He ignored my directive and propped himself up on one elbow. He's not listening to me. I need to check his mental state.

I sidled up close to him and said, "Keiichi, please look at my hand. How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Lind, that is just your fist. Stop waving it at me."

"Good!" It was a trick question. He's okay.

Hmm. He didn't seem to know about Belldandy.

This was getting to be a bit awkward. I needed to somehow check his head without freaking him out.

So I slowly crawled on all fours right up to his face. It was inches from mine. You know what, he's pretty cute. I had forgotten that.

Wait, he's looking at my chest. His face is getting red.

Huh? Oh, the zipper got pulled down during my dive during his sneeze. Did I just flash him? Uh, I think maybe I did. Oh well.

"Keiichi, eyes up. Look at me. I need to check you." I zipped up.

"I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to do that, really. I'm sorry. I mean, wow, but wow.. has your chest gotten bigger?"

What? "Uh, I dunno, has it?"

Those things were always in the way, those stupid flesh bags. They messed up my combat rotation. I had half a mind to cut them off, but Peorth wouldn't hear of it.

I knew I was only a C-cup. That's pretty small by goddess standards. Peorth was always bragging about her awesome chest size. Like I cared. Maybe I was a bit bigger now. I dunno. It's not important, is it?

"It's okay. I don't mind. Just eyes up. Look at my eyes."

He stared deeply into my eyes. "Wow, your eyes are pretty..."

Yeah, he's weird. Something is off.

{ Lind: Belldandy, what are you doing? }

{ Belldandy: I just removed his _eros_ inhibition. Now he can get sexually aroused looking at a goddess. And act on it. }

{ Lind: What? You didn't! }

{ Belldandy: I did. He's going to need you more than ever. }

{ Lind: If you keep this up I'm going to lose my wings! The Big Guy is going to bust me all the back to Goddess School! I can't go back there again and retrain.. I just can't do that again.. I'm no good at anything else! }

{ Belldandy: Actually, he approves. }

{ Lind: What? }

{ Belldandy: It's his idea. And I agree with him. You won't lose your wings. }

{ Lind: What!? }

{ Belldandy: Soon you will become more powerful than any combat Valkyrie in the history of Valhalla. }

I was totally.. totally.. confused. I just sat there looking stupid.

Keiichi was still watching my face. "Uh, Lind? Hello? Anybody home?"

{ Belldandy: It is all part of Tyr's plan. You're going to be awesome. Soon you're going to have all five kinds of love inside you. It will be amazing. You will become the most powerful combat angel of them all. And more. Much more. }

{ Lind: Uh.. cool? I guess..? }

"Hellooo.. Earth calling Lind.. Hellooo.."

He annoyed me. I waved him off. I said to the kid, "Just wait. Mama is busy on the phone." This was important.

"Oh. Who are you talking to?"

Oops. Then Skuld walked in. Not now!

{ Belldandy: Wait! This is very important. Under no circumstances can he be allowed to know that I am inside his mind. And he must not learn that he has unconscious access to first class goddess powers. This is very, very important. }

{ Lind: Uh.. okay..? He's got the marks. }

Skuld was going to spot them any second, and when she does she is going to absolutely freak out. She doesn't know about Belldandy yet. I should have told her already, darn it. Tyr said it was okay and everything. I forgot.

Hmm. I seem to be particularly slow today. I mean, I was being as stupid as Peorth. That's a pretty low bar. I bet it's because Belldandy was messing with my head, putting suggestions in my mind. It was throwing me off my game.

Anyway, as soon as Skuld spots those blue chevrons on his face, the girl is going to freak out big time. It kinda freaked me out too, when I saw them slowly fade-in on his face.

{ Lind: How can he not know you are in there? }

I asked a very good question. You see, that was the whole point of a Bond: The sharing and exchange of feelings of two souls within the same body. It was how the primary soul (the landlord) sustained and kept alive the secondary soul (the renter).

{ Belldandy: My father did a modification to your Bond. He firewalled me in. I am located in an isolated section of his mind. He doesn't know I am inside him. }

Wow, that was some modification. I didn't know that was even possible. Tyr is like that. It's like he can do anything. I don't even know what the Big Guy's rank really is. It's gotta be astronomical.

Skuld looked at me with a tilted head. She said, "Who are you talking to?" Then Skuld looked at the boy and her eyes grew like saucers. "Keiichi! What's happening? Your face! Those look exactly like mmmmphph!"

She was going to blurt out that the symbol on his forehead looked exactly like Belldandy's elongated rhombus symbol. I jumped up and covered the kid's big fat mouth just before she said it.

Keiichi wasn't stupid. He forced himself on his wobbly feet and looked into the mirror.

Oh crap!

"What's going on? I got something on my face? I don't see anything."

{ Belldandy: I supressed the marks. They're invisible now. And get Skuld out of here until I can talk to her! }

I shoved Skuld out the door, into the hallway, and then slammed the partition shut. I then rushed back to Keiichi and put my arms around him. "You need to lie down. You're not well yet. Let me help you."

Hmm. You know what? He smells kinda nice.

"Oooh.. okay.. I'm pretty loopy. When is Belldandy coming home? I'm really hungry for dinner."

Ugh ugh ugh.

{ Lind: Ok, smart girl, how do I explain this? He is going to totally flip out. }

{ Belldandy: I need to do a projection. This is going to be tricky. He can't do it, but you can. You need to start a Bond, do it on yourself, and then abort it about 10 seconds in. That will get enough of me inside you so that I can do a projection through you. }

{ Lind: What? }

"Belldandy! Yoo hoo! Where are you?"

{ Lind: You are nuts! }

"Wait.. I'm starting to remember something.."

{ Belldandy: Hurry! Before he remembers! }

I was totally lost. I flapped my arms. Then, heck, I did it. She's Belldandy. She always knows what she's doing no matter how crazy it gets.

So I started to Bond myself. I was pulling Belldandy in from Keiichi.

My mind exploded. I passed out.

I don't know what happened next.

* * *

**A/N:**

Do you like this story so far? It's my first comedy. I hope you got as many chuckles out of it as I did.

Thinking of Lind proudly riding the top of the stolen Narada as a parade trophy still cracks me up. I wonder how this incident will change the future of Kirk and Star Fleet? You just know that Star Fleet has the full image record of what happened. With close-ups. Hmm.

The story is going to take an interesting turn soon.

If you like this story, please send me your Favorites/Follows/Reviews. I am competing against 600+ other fics within the Oh! My Goddess section, and I want to kick this story up as high as possible in the ratings so people can find it in the future (at least under the Humor and Lind categories). Please click on 'Story' Favorite/Follow, not 'Author' Favorite/Follow.

Thank you for reading.

-HuuskerDu

P.S. The image of Lind in a bathing suit is what she looks like on her wedding night. It's the closest thing she has in her wardrobe for it. (Peorth tells her she needs to wear lahn-jerry, whatever that is.)

Somehow I have the feeling that her wedding night is going to be a complete disaster. I wonder why?


	7. Chapter 7: The Decision

**Chapter 7: The Decision**

Somehow I had stepped outside of time and space. I didn't know where I was. I was lost, in a strange gray featureless plane with an infinite flat horizon, no sky. Time had stopped.

And in that place I saw .. what was it.. a _thing_, something I had never seen before. The size of it. It was enormous. I was like an ant in comparison. It was huge. The thing was white, bifurcated, in twisty loops, covering all 10 dimensions. It seemed to have five, or maybe six, wing like projections at various points that hid parts of the central mass so I could not see it. It undulated in a beautiful complex rhythm to a melody, a song that I could not hear.

And it was _hot_. It was burning me. Not a red flame of destruction, but rather a blue flame of sheer life-sustaining power. It was everywhere, inside it, outside it, around it. It had incredible intensity. Far away it was safe and nourished life, but up close, too close, and nothing could survive its sheer intensity without being incinerated.

It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

Time returned.

The world was spinning. Where am I? I opened my eyes. I saw a huge black spiky thing waving in my eyes, like a big hairy tarantula or something. I yelped.

Huh? Oh. That black spiky thing was Keiichi's hair. He was checking on me.

He had a grin, "Good morning, sleepyhead." He then told me I was out for three days.

{ Belldandy: Good, you're awake. Don't mention the Bonding. He thinks I was a ghost. }

I played dumb. That wasn't too hard in my current state. I made a stupid lopsided grin from the pillow, "Uh, I guess it's my turn to take an extended nap, huh? Sorry about that."

Hmm. I was wearing floppy pajamas. Somebody undressed me. I sure hope it was Skuld.

He said, "You have nothing to apologize for. It's okay. I understand why you are here. I appreciate it."

Huh? What?

"I saw her. She told me. Everything."

Oh... the memory was coming back to me now.

{ Lind: Uh, you did? }

{ Belldandy: No. And I told him I was holding things back. He's interpolating. }

I tried to remember what happened. I had a pounding headache. Oh that's right! Belldandy, she wanted to project something, she wanted to talk to Keiichi.

He was kneeling next to me. I managed to hold his hand and said, "You saw her, then? What did she say?"

He looked down and remained silent. Then he said, "I don't think I want to tell you, or anybody else. It's private."

I now held his hand in both of mine. "I understand. Completely. That was between you and her and no one else. I will not pry. I've been in these kind of conversations myself, when I rushed to the fallen, to hear their last confessions, their last words. I know. It is as personal as anything can be. I know that better than anyone in Valhalla."

He looked at me with soft eyes.

I kept babbling, "I know how strong that love is between you. Nothing can get between it, and certainly not me. They assigned me to replace her, the wish. I know I am no replacement for Belldandy. Nobody is. I tried to explain, but they wouldn't listen. Nobody can replace her. I know that. They ordered me to do this. If you ask me to leave, say the word and I'm gone. And I will refuse to come back even if they punish me for that disobedience. I will just take the punishment, and don't worry, I am tough, I can take that easily. I will just go. Just say so."

"Do you want to go?"

Did I? Did I want to go?

I looked inward. Actually no. I wanted to stay. But I had to check something first.

{ Lind: Ok, I feel like I want to stay. But before I say anything I want you to be up front with me. Are these my own feelings, or some suggestion you planted in my head? Be honest. }

{ Belldandy: These are your feelings. All I did was unlock Keiichi's _eros_ and your own. Nothing else. }

{ Lind: You do know what's going to happen. Probably way better than I do. Sigh. I'll do it. I really do love him, fourth kind. But I'm gonna need help with this _eros_ stuff, third kind. }

{ Belldandy: I'm sure Peorth can help you with that. }

{ Lind: Oh brother. She'll come storming down here like a ton of bricks when she finds out about this. But I suppose I got no choice. }

I do need the advice. I'm clueless about this _eros_ stuff. Probably way more than Keiichi is. And I suspect Belldandy wouldn't be much help either. She's certainly not volunteering anything. And, honestly, after what I just saw, I'm not sure I want to even ask her. I've seen something like that undulating _thing_ before. It was her mother Anzus. Beings like that can be nice and friendly, but they operate at such a high level that they are just too weird, too alien, for me to understand.

{ Belldandy: Oh, there's something else. I think you will start to experience the fifth kind too. Just a hunch. }

{ Lind: Wow.. }

Ok, that totally committed me. I had to do it now. I really, really, wanted to know about that fifth kind.

But I had to check one final thing.

{ Lind: Ok, one last thing. Let's suppose I do this, and I do want to. I have to ask you: Are you going to be riding shotgun and watching all the play-by-play the whole time? I mean, are you going to be sitting on Keiichi's shoulder like some kind of ghost mini-chibi or something, watching everything we do together? Do you think he wants that? Do you want that? }

{ Belldandy: Absolutely not. When _eros_ starts I'll stay behind the firewall until you knock and tell me it's ok to come out. I will never violate your privacy. }

{ Lind: Ok then. Uhm, I gotta ask this again, one last time: You really do want this? Yourself? Not because of Tyr or some big plan? Last chance. }

{ Belldandy: Yes, I really do want this. I told him that when he dies we will be together for eternity in a wonderful place. I described it for him. Normally mortals aren't allowed to have that kind of information on this side. I bent the rules a bit and told him anyway. So now he knows. He really knows. He's looking forward to it. I am too. }

{ Lind: Wow, Belldandy, you are something else. And the bargain? }

{ Belldandy: Yes, I will be with you in your last battle. We will die together soon, before Ragnarök. }

{ Lind: Ok. That's it. I'm in. }

Yeah, I'm ready.

{ Lind: You know, we won't have much time. This will need to go kinda fast out of necessity. Oh, and I am announcing my permanent retirement. I'll put Celebine in charge of the Fighting Wings as acting 4th star. She's not as good as me, but she's the best we got left. Ok. I'll do it. I'm going to make him as happy as possible. Me too. This is going to be really new for me. I'm a bit nervous, but I'm looking forward to it. We're gonna do third through fifth. I'm especially looking forward to that fifth kind, because I really want to know what that is. I just hope we have enough time together to reach that high a level in our relationship. Oh, hey, I gotta ask, am I gonna need to marry him to get there? I mean, do we need to go all the way, you know, to hit level five? I think I kinda want to. But you and I both know the Big Guy has major restrictions on that. Going all the way, I mean, the Judgement Gate and stuff. I'm pretty sure he can pass that if he really wants to. He's a determined guy sometimes. But I dunno if I can pass that or not. I'm too inexperienced to know for sure. What do you think? }

Nothing.

{ Lind: Uh, Belldandy? Are you there? Hello? Belldandy? }

She was gone. She locked herself behind the firewall.

I guess that's it then.

Keiichi was still holding my hand and waiting for me to say something. I did the lopsided grin again. "Well, somebody's gotta stay, right? The wish has gotta be fulfilled. Might as well be me. I mean, you want Peorth? C'mon, we all know she's as fake as a three dollar bill. And you won't believe the amount of unused vacation time I've accrued over the past thousand years. Heh. I got lots."

I'm nervous. What, me nervous? I can kick Cthulhu's ass using my halberd as a golf club. I'm not afraid of anything. But I'm nervous now. I kept babbling. "Sure, I'll stay. I'm already really close with Skuld, and she needs a big sister to watch over her now that both of her other sisters are gone. Of course I'll stay. I'd love to stay."

"Yeah."

I held both his hands with my own and kept smiling. He kept looking at me. He must really like my smile.

Then he said, "Hey, I got question. Are you a good cook?"

Hoo boy.

I made the phone call. Yep, Peorth is storming down here at warp 9. Here we go.


	8. Chapter 8: Two Ships Passing in the Dark

**Chapter 8: Two Ships Passing in the Dark**

I felt really tired and wanted to sleep, but I dragged my sorry ass up to the front door of the temple to wait. I knew that my good old friend, Miss Rosey Matchmaker the Stripperrific Doofus of Roses, was going to show up here at any minute. She would probably bring two metric tons of those roses and rose petals with her and make the temple hip deep in them.

C'mon, Peorth, you know I have a hay fever allergy, and it's hay fever season down here. I was already eating like candy those antihistamine pills of Urd's. That's not good for my blood pressure, and I already got a pretty stressful line of work. I wish that Peorth would just lay off sometimes. She always overdoes everything.

Sheesh. I only hope that this time Peorth remembers to trim the spiky thorns from the long-stemmed roses first. I mean, the last time I accidentally ran into those things in her backyard garden it kinda tickled when I zoomed right through them at trans-hypersonic speed. One even nicked my combat uniform, and I actually got a little scratch on my face.

She wasn't happy that I trashed her rose garden. Hey, at least I had an excuse: it was job related. You see, a half-dozen really angry level 1 daemons were chasing me out of Niflheim at the time (I got caught in an infiltration op, and I had to get outta there in a big hurry through the hidden hyperspace punch that we drilled in secret for months to get inside Niflheim undetected), so I was kinda outgunned there. Dunno how they got in past the Valhalla gate defenses when I zipped in to home base at 0.08c. I plowed through about 500km of turf before I was able to stop my forward momentum. That included Peorth's big rose garden and Freya's tulip bed. Freya was _not_ happy about it, and demanded to be notified in advance about any secret ops in the future. The Big Guy wasn't happy either when he heard that six L1 daemons got inside before we could slam the gate shut.

The half-dozen L1 daemons kinda trashed things up a little teeny bit (ok, a lot) before I was able to call down for some close air support from the CAP wing and obliterate them all. It took two minutes for CAP to dive down from their cruising altitude of 160km, but the damage was already done. (The CAP is flying all the time and can come down really fast and hard when called. It flies at 160km for certain defensive and offensive reasons that I won't discuss for security.) I lost two of the CAP in that one. Not one of my better ops. It's a long-term war of attrition, and the 1-3 loss ratio is actually not that bad considering. The two gals I lost were only L2 and L3, the Enemy lost six L1s. Not bad, but not good. I never want to take any losses if I can possibly avoid it. But this is war.

I always take it hard whenever I lose one of my gals, and I always do the funeral service myself. I also always personally build the funeral pyre, light it, and stand guard over the burning until it is completely over and the ashes are cold. Takes about three days usually. I consider that to be one of my most important and solemn duties, and I take it really seriously. I always try to honor the fallen with proper dignity and respect, as best I can. I'm not an eloquent public speaker, but I am always really sincere any time I speak publicly (and this is about the only time I ever do), and it comes through. I usually get emotional and sometimes I choke up, and sometimes I have to stop for a minute to regain my composure, about the only time that ever happens either. When I speak like that I always admit right up front that don't know the right words to say, that I don't have a great tongue for it. But I always muddle through, and I am always authentic about my feelings. I never delegate that duty to anyone else. All my gals know how strongly I feel about these things, and they all appreciate it.

Anyway, I accidentally trashed Peorth's rose garden that day, but she didn't really mind. That is because despite all the sassing I give her, we are actually good friends. We mock insult each other all the time. I really shouldn't be so hard on Peorth. I actually do like her. It's fun to hang out with her. She hits on me, I sass her back, we get along. We are the classic odd-couple pairing.

It's just good clean fun. You see, my _eros_ was permanently turned off, so her hitting on me all the time didn't bother me at all, even after I figured it out what she was really doing. Yeah, she's still doing the shared bath time with me, and she's still 'cleaning' my back and front, checking for lice, etc. I let her do it. I don't feel anything physical and frankly it saves time in the bath for me. We just gab and have fun. And if she's having fun splashing around, well, she's a fun person. It's okay.

But now this is going to be a problem, maybe a big one. She's roaring down here, and my _eros_ is now turned on and running strong (I think). I think I could feel it activating even during our brief telephone conversation when I told her what happened, that I got busted by the Big Guy and I'm serving out Keiichi's wish as punishment, and that my _eros_ is now active. I had to explain the latter, as she immediately demanded to know how it happened. And she did need to know, to help me talk me through it. And I wanted her to confer with Belldandy about it (among other things), so I had to clue her in that Belldandy was alive and hidden inside Keiichi's head. Peorth would have figured it out fairly quickly anyway. I mean, she is kind of dumb, but she's not that stupid.

When I talked to her on the phone I could almost feel the estrogen oozing through the phone handle into my ear. She gasped, "Ooh la la! I am coming down!" Then I felt it something, a bit of a tingle. I'm still not sure what it is, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with _eros_ because the same thing happened when I was hugging Keiichi trying to calm him down. I admit it does feel kinda good. Really good actually.

But, ugh. This is really going to mess up the relationship between me and Peorth. Up to now we had a good thing going together. But it worked because we were so _different_. I'm always serious and frowning, she's always happy and smiling. I'm all business, she's all fun. I'm level four, she's level three. I'm clueless about level three, and she's clueless about level four. We are like two ships passing in the dark that drop anchor and gab for a bit before moving on to the next port of call.

But now we are partially overlapping on the love levels. Actually I am, she's not. That's the problem. I'm now operating on both levels three and four (and soon hopefully level five), but she's still blind on levels four and five. That creates an asymmetry that is really going to mess things up between us.

Peorth has no clue whatsoever about level four, _agape_. She doesn't know anything about selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional love. She thinks she does, but I know for a fact she doesn't. Not really.

These kind of big blind spots are very common in first class goddesses. We have really weird personalities, if you can even call them personalities.

Right now I have only three emotional states: aggressive, goofing off, or grieving. That's it. Nothing else.

Peorth has even fewer emotional states: flirty or pouting. That's it.

I know that's not normal. We are both living abstractions, not people.

But Belldandy says that my personality is going to change soon, and in a huge way. I am looking forward to it, even though I admit I am kinda nervous about it. (And that itself is really weird, that I am actually nervous about, well, anything.) I know I must change a lot if I am to have any hope of fulfilling my obligations to the man I so dearly love.

Belldandy said I am going to become a real person. I can't wait. She also hinted, "And much more." She wouldn't elaborate. But I think I'm going to like whatever that will be. This is a very exciting time for me. I haven't been this amped up since I took on Galactus.

Belldandy says it is already happening, don't worry, that it will all happen naturally. I think she's right, but I worry about the time factor. How long will it take? Years? Decades? I don't think we have that much time left. And I really want to take Keiichi up to level five with me. I really do love the man in my own way (level four), more than you can possibly imagine. But I gotta do all three levels for him, and that's the only way I can even remotely do for him what Belldandy did for him (and even surpass her on level three), even though I know I will never actually reach the sheer power of her selfless love and dedication for him, no matter how hard I try.

And now here comes Peorth roaring in, all lusty for me, knowing that I can now reciprocate, and she's going to hit on me like she never has before.

And I am going to have to permanently end our 1000+ year friendship.

It's over.

There is no other way.

* * *

I was tired. I was not looking forward to this meeting with my friend. She is going to be really hurt, and it's going to really rip me up inside.

And I really needed rest. I was so tired. Those last three days were kinda rough, even for a tough old bitch like me. And I've been through some pretty rough stuff over the past thousand years, I tell ya.

I always seem to get more tired the last century or so. I no longer seem to have quite the enormous hyperkinetic energy and wild spunk that I used to have. It seems I started slowing down a little bit, about maybe 200 years ago, or so. Not sure exactly when. But all in all, it's probably a good thing, especially if I am going to be hanging out with mortals from now on. I'm not quite so much the insane out-of-control walking death machine anymore. Definitely a good thing with Keiichi.

Ok, I got an admission to make. I'm kind of older than I look. Please don't tell Keiichi that. Belldandy knows, and I don't mind that. She doesn't care. And nobody really knows how old Belldandy is... she just kind of appeared one day, as a child, mentored under Celestine. Just poof she was there. The rumor was (and this was only a rumor mind you) she was an out-of-wedlock love child between Tyr and Anzus that happened waaaay back when they were both in school. Just a rumor. That was a long time ago. Apparently Belldandy existed in another strange place for a long time. Dunno where exactly. So when she popped up as a kid in Elementary Goddess School and was later mentored under Celestine, she was already plenty old. I heard that waaay back in the Elder Days she was not even remotely in a humanoid form, and she was undulating around nobody knows where for nobody knows how many thousand years. Or so they say. Just some rumors. But given what I just saw today I kinda believe those rumors. I guess that means technically she's older than Urd, if the rumors are true. Officially, her birth certificate says that she's the middle child, born during their marriage. Yeah, ok, whatever. I don't really care. She's Belldandy and I love her.

I hope Keiichi doesn't mind being with an older woman. He likes Belldandy, so I guess it should be okay. Mind you, a gal doesn't like to talk about her age. I know that all us goddesses all look like 22 year-old perfect hot supermodels. But to be honest, inside we're not. Some are of us are older, some are a bit younger, some very new, some ancient, and some (like Belldandy and Anzus) have ages that nobody knows.

A goddess' lifespan can vary enormously. Almost all of us die from other than old age, but it does sometimes happen, usually around 10,000 chronological years for us L1-L3 types. We just sort of fade away. That never happens in the combat divisions, which have by far the highest mortality rate, and consequently have the youngest gals in them. Some gals on my team, like Chrono, are really quite young. I don't think she's even 300 years old yet. She's just a kid. They should be young to fight. You gotta do age discrimination in combat divisions. It is because all the fighting and the constant near suicidal combat with evil daemons and eldritch terrors year after year is not a game for the old. Combat mortality rates will do that. Now, I am really good at it so I have survived far longer than the average fighting gal. I'm the oldest by far. I'll let you in a little secret: I'm actually hitting goddess middle age. I'm about 4500 years old. I really hate to admit that. Don't tell Keiichi.

Now, that's my chronological age; I'm not actually that old subjectively. That's because time in Valhalla passes differently than time down on Earth. Also, I've been captured and sealed a couple times for several hundred years. I'm not sure exactly, but my subjective age is probably around 1200 or so. That still makes me the oldest combat Valkyrie by quite a bit.

Here is another confession I gotta make: We aren't really goddesses. At least us L1-L3 types. I mean, think about it: We are born, we age, we die, we're not immortal at all, we have definite and highly restricted assignments handed to us, we follow orders, we do what we're told, we get punished if we don't, and we follow assignments handed down from above. We're just foot soldiers. We're angels. Yeah, it's true. Hate to admit it. Angels. 'Goddess' is just good PR for recruiting. I mean I really like that term, and I like to throw that word around around when I'm trying to terrorize some punk eldritch abomination, but it's really just hype. Sorry.

Actually, by angel standards we're not even that high up compared to the rumors I've heard of some other places. If you run up the transfinite ladder a bit you can find some really awesome critters up there. And if you go waaaaay up, near the transfinite apex, you can find the real Kings of the Hill. Those suckers really are immortal and make angels like me look like a punk.

Another reason we use the term 'goddess' is to avoid confusion with the spiritual beings that live inside every one of us. For example, I have two: Cool Mint, and Spear Mint. When I ask the pair to manifest themselves physically, they look very much like what the everybody expects angels to look like, with feathered wings, etc. I'm a bit weird because I have two, identical twins, each with one wing. (There is a reason for that, for which I am very ashamed. I don't like to talk about it. It has to do why I was always mocked as the 'The One Winged Angel'.)

Once in a while a goddess will sprout wings. We do it typically to show our emotional state or for a ceremony that requires it. The feathered wings aren't needed for a goddess to actually fly (we can just levitate), they are merely symbolic.

I am the fastest goddess of them all - I can even beat Hild when she rides Glühende Herz - so I never use the feathered wings when I am in flight. I mean, I might rip them off and the twins could really get hurt or something.

Now, in our neck of the woods, those bastards that live Downstairs that we fight all the time also operate on basically the same rule system we that we have Upstairs. They call themselves 'demons' or 'daemons' (demon, daemon, potato, potahto, same difference). But that label is technically wrong. You see, a demon has a Chaotic Evil alignment, while a devil has a Lawful Evil alignment. Those jerks Downstairs are devils, not demons. If you want to talk alignment, us good guys are usually Lawful Good and those bastards Downstairs are usually Lawful Evil.

Those alignment labels are generally accurate, but there is also a fairly big chaotic component in our system. And occassionally there is a totally chaotic weirdo that pops up seeming out of nowhere. For example, that Lord of Terror psycho was a classic Chaotic Evil whack job. He just appeared, poof. Nobody knows how that nut got in.

We actually run a pretty tight ship around here. That doublet system is pretty strict, and I heard we are kind of unique that way, that the other places don't have anything like it. It helps keep the balance. Me? Oh I agree definitely. You gotta have rules. We're just too powerful to just wander around doing whatever the heck we want. We gotta wear limiters at all times, and we gotta do our combat by the book. Otherwise someone could get hurt.

Now some of those really weird entities way up there, those _things_, that are operating at far higher levels than us cute purty gal footsoldiers down here in Valhalla, aren't angels at all. They are something.. different. I kinda shudder and frankly I don't really want to know.

And there's a lot of prophesy and prediction of major events in most of these places, but once in a while something weird just happens that _nobody_ predicts, and nobody knows how it happened. It just does. The most common unexpected event is a sudden change in time schedules. For example, I once heard that Ragnarök was at least out T+1000 years from now. Then I heard it was T+100. Just like that, 90% time shift. Why? Dunno.

* * *

Not long ago I got my hands on some high up intel that I had no business looking at. It was Chrono. She was pissed at Peorth for dressing her up in some stupid maid outfit and sending her down to Earth in it. It embarrassed the heck out of her, so she decided she'd defect from Peorth's sysadmin team and join up with my combat team.

So, one day she steals the Blue File out of Yggdrasil and just like that, she handed it to me! She said she wanted to prove her loyalty to me by shafting Peorth. She thought I hated Peorth and that we had some kind of hateful rivarly or something. What a ding-a-ling.

So here I am, sitting in my stupid office (I hate hate my office, almost never there usually). I was plowing through a bunch of stupid paperwork (hate hate hate paperwork), signing everything without reading it, trying to get out that office as fast as I could. I'm only there like one day every ten years or so if I can avoid it. But lucky for her I was actually there that day. And she plops the Blue File right in my lap!

I took off my glasses (hate hate hate wearing glasses, that's why I never read anything). And I pick this thing up like it was toxic waste and holler, "Where the [bleep] did you get this? You see that mark? That means insta-death if you open it!"

Then she gets all coy and puts a Seal Remover right in my hand! I go, "Are you completely insane? Look at this thing! It's got a Seven Level Seal on it! Seven! You know what happens if you unseal something that high up? Do you even have a clue? Do you want to obliterate half the known universe? You stupid little minx!"

I roared "Where did you get this!?" And she starts crying. I'm a sucker for tears, so I dialed it way back and try to console the poor frightened girl. I guess I really spooked her. She turned and ran sobbing out of the office.

So here I am, all alone, with my dorky glasses on, with the Blue File literally in my lap, with a Seal Remover in my hand.

So, uh, yeah, I took a peek.

Ok, I know what you are thinking, and no, I didn't read it. But there were these weird symbols, some kind of chart. It was a complex mathematical diagram with a proof for some sort of theorem, some kind of subtle proof that CH is true, whatever CH is. I did not pretend to understand any of it. All I knew was that it was some kind of Class 7 Secret that apparently some entity up at Reality Level 38 discovered. That's way up there.

Then I saw a timeline map for future events with side branches for contingencies. It was for our reality level and the level above it.

Wait.. what? Holy [bleep]. You gotta be [bleep] [bleep] kidding me, no [bleeping] way! Who the [bleep] is HuuskerDu!?

I re-sealed it as fast as I could and dropped it in the incinerator chute. It leads down to the Yggdrasil fusion core. I just hope it burned up. It said Copy #2, so I assume there's a Copy #1 still in the main system.

I could not believe that girl. Actually I could. That was an incredible show of spunk. That was a show of crazy brave passion. Just aim that at the Enemy instead of your own team, and girl, you rock!

I ran the paperwork for the transfer right then. I really like her and she's done really good ever since. She never burned her own team ever again. That girl has passion for her job. And I never heard word from Peorth either. I assume they didn't know or it got hushed up.

I still can't believe what I saw in that file. I'm trying to forget it. Maybe a thousand years from now I won't remember it. But I kinda doubt it.

* * *

I was still waiting for Peorth. I was really pooped. Just three days ago I saved the world from annihilation from Keiichi's sneeze, then I got knocked unconscious, then I was in a coma for three days, then I had a weird nightmare caused by hosting 0.01% of Belldandy's true power, then I made a commitment that means I will never return to Heaven ever again, then I lost my job, then I confirmed a mutual death pact with one of the most powerful entities in town, then I built up the courage to agree to totally change my personality and my life forever, so yeah, I'm kinda pooped emotionally right now.

And Peorth will be here any minute, and I gotta break up with her. This will be really hard. I'd rather take on Galactus again. (I once saved the Sombrero Galaxy from becoming his late night snack.) This will be way harder than Galactus.

* * *

Just then the phone rang. I yelled to Skuld that I'd get it. She yelled back from the TV room, "Good! It's about time you started acting like you live here!" I lifted the phone receiver.

"Uh, Hello?"

It was the Big Guy.

Sir? What? Another job?

Sir, please, no more jobs. You already got my resignation letter and accepted it. I am supposed to be a homemaker now. That means I now have way more important things to do now than to prevent genocides, stop some eldritch abomination from munching a planet, or getting Galactus to chase me again. I got important stuff I gotta do now. Yes. Important. Like what? Like I gotta learn how to cook! Do you know how hard that is for me? Sir, please, priorities. No, I am sorry, I do not have time for any more death-whacking joyrides across the cosmos. Wish I did, really. I have to actually work now. No more saving billions of lives. Yes, work. Clean, wash laundry, you know, hard stuff, important stuff. This is Keiichi we are talking about here. Good, I am glad you understand.

What? No way! You're the one who put me in this position you jerk! Uh, I mean, sir. Sir. Sorry. Been a long day. I prevented Keiichi from almost sneezing the Earth into a polar orbit. I'm kinda stressed here. My apologies. Thank you for your understanding. Yeah, I gotta learn about sex and stuff from _Peorth_. Yeah, I know. It is gonna suck. No, not literally, it is just a figure of speech, sir.

Hmm? Ok. One more job, then that's it? Thank you sir. So why me? Oh, I see. Guess it makes sense to choose me. Who is the target this time? No, don't bother faxing me the briefing folder. I won't read it. Just tell me now.

Yes? Do a cowboy? Unlimited collateral is ok? Wow, you never let me rip like that! Woo hoo! Thank you sir!

Yes, I am a bit stressed about the wish, thank you for asking. I can do it. Yes, I'd like to recover a bit first before I develop my relationship with him. I will definitely take this last job. It will be like a relaxing mini-vacation. You are so kind, sir. Thank you!

Wait, I need spatial coordinates and a time ref. Ok, I'll wait while you get the folder. Yeah, I got a pen and a post-it note ready.

I heard elevator music. I waited.

Hmm, at least it will get me out of the temple before Peorth gets here. Maybe I can get some sleep before I come back. I really need some time to rest up before I break up with her. I wonder if it is Galactus again..

Uh, yes? Yes sir, it's confirmed, Belldandy turned on my _eros_. Dunno why she did it. Thank you for not punishing her. I appreciate that, for the both of us. I really need her advice right now.

What, my _eros_ might be a problem for the job? Why is that?

Oh. I see. Better gimme the whole brief then.

Crap.


	9. Chapter 9: The Big Ol' Star o' Death

**Chapter 9: The Big Ol' Star o' Death**

The Big Guy gave me the brief. Apparently those nuts over in the Scorpio Galaxy were at it again in their stupid imperial era. That galaxy was so whack back then. All the other neighbor galaxies really hated it. It was like a slum house in a nice neighborhood. Some wanted to just black-hole it. I could see why. It really reduced property values in that super-cluster.

Here's the problem with Scorpio. It was like war, war, war, all the time. Star wars here, star wars there, star wars everywhere. I mean yeah, it was a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away, but c'mon. They were just shooting everything up all the time. They ran around obliterating whole planets with populations of billions, mass genocide, like popping firecrackers. Pew! pew! You dead! Nyah nyah! Those imperials were such punks.

And the noise kept the neighbor galaxies awake all the time. They had to keep their children indoors.

Of course that kind of galactic fascism generated a rebel resistance within Scorpio. Fascism always does that. And those imperial dweebs in Scorpio were specists too. Human uber alles. All other species not apply. Twits.

Apparently the super-cluster took a vote and asked for an exterminator. The Big Guy caught wind of it, and said, you don't need to black-hole a whole galaxy just because of a few bad eggs in it. The whole problem in Scorpio is the stupid terror machine that the fascists built. They put all their eggs in one basket: They built one honking huge big ol' Star o' Death or something (I didn't get the exact name). And this machine was tooling around the galaxy blowing up populated planets everywhere. Or threatening to do it (don't remember).

Still, just the fact that a bunch of mortals were actually building something like that was going way over the line. I mean, these idiots were mere mortals! Who the heck do they think they are crossing the line up to our angelic / demonic turf? If anyone is nuking planets containing whole populations it's gonna be us!

So like a Godfather, Tyr offered them all a favor: Valhalla will fix the problem for you guys in the super-cluster, and then you owe us a favor for payback at some future date. No charge up front. They nodded and said, yeah, go for it.

So then he calls me up.

He says I gotta cowboy this Big Ol' Star o' Death. Said unlimited collateral damage is okay out to 1 million km. I can nuke everything I want in that radius around it.

I couldn't believe my luck. It was like giving crack cocaine to a drug addict. I was so eager I was literally shaking.

Wow! Foom! Boom!

Then I stopped and thought about it. I said wait, that thing is big, what a 100km sphere? That's a huge volume. What's the crew complement of something like that? He said it was classified but probably around 1-2 million. I said that's a lot of collateral. You sure you want me to cowboy that many sentients? He said yeah, because anybody who volunteered to operate something called the Big Ol' Star o' Death deserved what they got.

I said yeah, but did they volunteer to join a genocidal operation like that, or where they drafted? I mean, did they wanna ride that thing? It's a fascist outfit. They probably didn't volunteer to run the thing, at least at the grunt level.

Then he said, Lind, what the heck has gotten into you? You never worry about collateral, I'm always yelling at you for going overboard, now _you_ have concerns that I don't have? Is this like the bizarro Lind or something? Are you okay?

He was really worried about me. That was touching. He had a good point. I had just volunteered to downscale an official job _below_ his operational limits! What the heck is wrong with me?

Then he chuckled. He said I was already changing. My personality. He liked it. But he said it was a pity he's losing his best offensive operative. He said get out there tiger before you start laying around in Peorth's rose garden plucking petals, 'He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me...' I thought that was a crude attempt at humor and didn't appreciate being dissed like that. He apologized and said just go do the job while I still had my mojo.

So I did.

* * *

Before I left I told Skuld that I had an errand to run and tell Peorth I might be gone for a few days, give her my apologies. She said yeah, whatever, never looked up from the TV.

I did the time jump then the spatial jump. The intel was good and I popped up about 500km from the thing.

Wow. That is beautiful.

I was just floating there in awe, looking at this thing of beauty. It was slowly turning on its equatorial axis, it was majestic. And that name, the Big Ol' Star o' Death. That's so badass.

I wanted it for my collection. I had to have it.

Now on every op I actually have a lot of flexibility on how I go about it. The term 'cowboy' is just an upper limit to the carnage I'm allowed to do. I can do a lot less if it gets the job done. All they wanted was for this sweet ride to go away, to get it out of Scorpio by any means necessary.

And as far as I'm concerned that means I put it somewhere on ice. In my collection. Yeah, heh.

I noticed that there was a large dish-shaped structure on the northern hemisphere that was turning my way. I turned around to see what it might be targeting. Then I saw it.

A beautiful, gorgeous blue-green planet with swirling white clouds and oceans, definitely a class 8 or better, like Earth. I squinted and saw major population centers, a high tech society, lots of spaceship traffic, a thriving local community.

Wait, was this thing gonna shoot that nice little planet? Pop such a nice little peaceful world? What a bunch of pricks. I started to squint and look for defensive space platforms or other weapons that might fend off an attack. I didn't see any, and then...

Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Something incredibly painful hit me right in the small of my back. The back of my combat suit was actually _charred_.

I never hurt so much in my life.

And you'll never guess what I did next in retaliation for that back burn.

Heh.

* * *

**A/N:**

Our story is now entering the second act where I develop Lind's character and her relationship with Keiichi. We get to see some of the Nekomi gang at the college and how Lind interacts with them. Then I slam the gas pedal and accelerate the story into hyperdrive in the third act. Each chapter in the third act has a surprising reveal or major plot twist, with each chapter's reveal or plot twist getting bigger and Bigger and BIGGER, all the way to the final chapter, where it goes beyond epic.

So if you like this story and want to see a simply incredible ending, please send me your Favorites/Follows/Reviews!

Thanks again.

-HuuskerDu


	10. Chapter 10: The Big Snog

**Chapter 10: The Big Snog**

Something hit me really hard in the small of my back. It _hurt_. Whatever it was it was hot and it kicked me with pretty good momentum. I was flung away at several kilometers per second and with a good tumble. Woah. What the heck was it? I stabilized then turned and looked behind me.

That stupid Big Ol' Star o' Death shot me right in the back with a 2.4 x 10^32 watt superlaser. What, was I in the way or something? You could have asked me to move, you dingbats. Or did somebody tip them off that I was coming? Whatever it was, that sucker had a kick.

Gah! My combat uniform had decent hole charred into in the backside, and I had an actual _burn_. It hurt like a sumbitch.

I was sooooo pissed. I whipped around and was getting ready for a kinetic dive right through that stupid dish at around 0.95c. I'd have to fly way out and get a real running start, at least a 10 billion km, and then..

Then I stopped. I said Lind, get ahold of yourself. Don't let your emotions overrule your common sense. That thing had such a slow turning rate, and there is no way it could hit you unless you were just a sitting duck (which I was when it zapped me). Don't worry about it. Just figure out a way to capture it intact.

Yeah, I'm definitely changing. That would have never happened before. If I was the old Lind, that thing would have been an expanding cloud of debris and gas by now.

This was the new Lind. The mellow Lind. I just want to grab it for my collection. Gotta figure out a way to get everybody off it. Hmm..

But first, I need to fix that superlaser so it won't be popping any more planets for a while. That shouldn't be hard. Back in 5.

Ok, I'm back. That took care of it.

I felt a physical pull towards the sphere. Hmm, some kind of a tractor beam is trying to pull me in. Oh really now? I wanna stay here and look at it some more so I pull against it. Then something almost clips my feet as it gets pulled in.

What was _that_? Interesting little ship. Asymmetrical. You almost never see non-bilateral symmetry anymore. Nice. I like the design. Hmm, looks like they don't want to go in. I need some intel if I'm gonna grab my trophy. I think I'll try talking to them.

I pop up on the middle deck. I saw the crew all up front, huddled in the flight pod. I then heard behind me a weird squeal noise followed by some prissy voice, "Oh my! Oh dear!"

And then everybody in the flight pod turns around and looks at me.

Oops. "Uh, Hi. Hello? Can I please ask you some questions?"

I need to stop and explain something here. You see, at this point my _eros_ was basically turned on 100%. There were four people in the flight pod: An old guy, a walking carpet, a young dweeb, and.. and.. and him.

Wow...

I mean, wow...

That guy was hot. I was hot. I mean I was getting hot. I mean I was getting flustered.

I saw the most dashing gentleman I had ever seen. He was a lovable rogue, with a great hair, an amazing face, a leather vest, and an open shirt showing his chest, and a devilish gleam in his eye. I instantly fell in love.

Yep, my _eros_ hijacked my brain. I wasn't ready for it. I hadn't got any training yet from Peorth or Belldandy. I was basically a walking bag of lusty female hormones with no self control. Yeah, not good. The Big Guy was right, it was going to be a problem.

So the hot guy starts sauntering over to me, while I just stand there with a stupid grin on my face. The old guy quickly followed, followed by the dweeb. The carpet stayed in the cockpit. Then, before the hot guy got too close, the old guy jumped in front and said, "Stop! Do not approach that woman!"

The hot guy ignored him. He walked up to me and bowed, and said "Hahn-sew-low at your service, my lady."

I still had the stupid grin.

The old guy was alarmed. "Get back! We are all in danger!"

Huh? Oh, where am I? Uh, yeah, the job. Uhm.. I should say something..

"Uh.. Hi.. My name is, uh, Lind. What's yours?"

The dweeb in back spoke up, "He already told you."

Hahn hissed behind him, "Shhh.. Let me handle this."

The old guy moved quickly and got in front of Hahn, then stood formally and bowed. "We did not know that Higher Powers were interested in the affairs of our little domain. We are honored by your presence. How may we assist you?"

The carpet up front honked. Hahn said, "We ain't got time for diplomacy, grandpa. 120 seconds to dock. We gotta hide!"

I want more time for this, so I waved my hand. The ship lurched and stopped moving forward. "Uh.. hi.. uh.. we got time now.."

The dweeb whispered, "I think she's drugged or something. What is she?"

The old guy pointed at my face. "See those symbols on her cheeks and forehead? Those symbols represent great power. Power beyond your imagination. I am just relieved that they are blue symbols, and not red symbols."

Hahn said, "Is this more of your Force mumbo jumbo?"

"It is similar, but of a different kind, and just as powerful."

"Whatever." Hahn turned to face me. "Ok my lady, what do you want with my ship?"

Ship? I want him. Now. Wait..

"Oh, uh, sorry. I'm not feeling well. My fault. Oh, yeah, I gotta ask you about that Big Ol' Star o' Death. I need to know how it runs."

The dweeb said, "Huh?"

The old guy said, "Ah, you mean the battle station that is ahead of us."

Ah, battle station. Ok. "Uh, I kinda want to borrow it. For my personal collection. I've been ordered to slag it, but I'd rather not kill millions of people doing that if I can avoid it? Yeah, I know. I'm kind of turning over a new leaf here. I mean, I am trying a new minimalist approach to my ops. It's kinda hard to explain."

Amazingly, the old guy actually followed my rambling speech. "I see. And how do you propose to 'borrow' it?"

"Well, uh, I dunno yet. What I really need are the technical readouts for that battle station. You think you might know where I might find something like that?"

They all looked at each other.

The old guy said, "We might."

"Well, the technical readouts would really help me. I'd really appreciate it. I might be able to figure out a way to nick it without killing everybody."

The old guy nodded at the dweeb. The dweeb said, "R2, jack yourself into the terminal next to you."

Beep boop beep beep. A little blue fireplug inserted a data probe into a jack below a small viewscreen. It started to light up with information.

"Oooh.. that's perfect. Thanks. Ok, show me how it runs. Does it run on leaded or unleaded?"

Beep boop boop beep.

"Oh, sorry. Fusion or anti-matter?"

Boop boop.

"Fusion. That's easy. Tell me, what's the best way to create one king hell mother of a radiation leak in the central core?" I had already worked out my plan. Create a huge radiation 'accident' and get everybody to flee the thing. Easy.

Beep boop beep boop boop beep.

"Just gotta get in there and slag the regulator on the north tower? Piece of cake."

Boop beep boop boop beep.

"Yeah, I'll be careful. I wont overload it. It'll leak like crazy but not explode. That should scare everybody off. Thanks little buddy!"

Boop boop.

"Don't mention it."

Boop beep?

"Yes, I have a boyfriend."

Beep boop?

"No, I don't have any sisters, sorry."

Boop boop.

"Hey, that's rude."

The old guy interrupted us, "Well, I am glad that we have assisted you. Now, if our business is concluded, we may say adieu?"

Aww.. I want him. I mean that station. I mean.. Drat.

I was in a precarious position. If that hot guy just left me alone for 10 more seconds I would have left his ship, and everything would have been just fine.

But he didn't. Pity.

You see, Hahn-sew-low saunters right up to me. The old guy says, "Hahn, no!" but he ignores him. And then he's like totally coming on to me! I warn him, I'm really dangerous. He says, I like dangerous. I say I do too, but I am not suicidal. He coos you don't have any weapons. I say I am a weapon. He laughs, says you wouldn't hurt little old me. I say not on purpose.

He has so sexy looking. I was really eyeing him up and down. Yum... Peorth said later that my mouth said 'no' but my body said 'yes'. What does that even mean?

So the idiot ignores all my verbal warnings about his impending suicide. He comes up to me and plants one on my lips!

And it felt goooood... So I started really snogging him, right then and there. Wowowowow. That was _intense_. I start to really go to work on him. This must be that 'you will know what to do' that Belldandy was telling me earlier. Wow. Had no idea.

The boy says "You gotta do that now?" The old guy flaps his arms and backs away. Hahn lifts me off the ground and I'm still snogging, practically climbing the guy, my arms wrapped around his neck.

Then I lose it completely.

Yep.

I accidentally pop his head off like a bottle cap.

Oops.

You cannot tell me you didn't see that coming. Seriously.

That was as predictable as the sunrise.

And I warned him like five times, but he came on to me anyway. It's not my fault! It's not my fault!

Great, and that was my very first kiss with a boy in all my 4500 years. Tyr is right. I just cant have nice things.

So now its pandemonium, screaming, the usual. Yawn. The old guy did a facepalm. I teleport out. I was kinda embarrassed.

And now I'm all breathless and flustered, and I still havent done the job yet.

I am way off my game today. And I was still kinda tired.

So now I'm floating outside again. Then I see the little ship fly away with four H thingies chasing it, going pew! pew!

I spit some lougies and popped all four H thingies. Least I could do.

Oh well. Let's get this job over with.

I went in, popped the regulator on the north tower. All sorts of alarms went off. General chaos. Craft fleeing everywhere. I took a long nap that I desperately needed, and 18 hours later I had my booty. I created an extra-large null space pocket, enveloped my trophy within it, zipped it shut, and then went back home to my man.

Tyr was right, my hormones are completely out of control.

It was a pity that guy committed suicide-by-Valkyrie.

I really liked him.


	11. Chapter 11: The Key to Love is not Lube

**Chapter 11: The Key to Love is not Lube**

Well, that was a nice mini-vacation. I felt really good and rested. That final job was nice. Well, except for that idiot. But that wasn't my fault.

So I took a deep breath and headed for home: time jump, then spatial jump. I popped up over Nekomi at about 100km altitude with the Tarikihongan Temple directly below me.

This was the location of the Japan Gate. That gate used to be called the Asian Gate back when it floating somewhere over India. It got moved here after Belldandy took up residence in the temple.

It had to be moved. I mean, good grief, the traffic between Heaven and the temple is like Grand Central Station around here. There is stuff fluttering up and down it like every single week or something.

Of course, Niflheim also secretly moved their gate to Nekomi. Those bastards. They tried to hide it but we eventually found it. That Hell Gate was causing real problems because some daemon or other, Marller, Hild, or whoever, would try to secretly pop out of that gate and then go sneek up to the temple and harass everybody all the time. I mean, it was like every two weeks or something. It was getting to be a real problem.

It was getting to be such a hassle that the Big Boys in Valhalla finally put their foot down. I was assigned a huge military op, big one, involved all my gals, took months. The story is too long and tedious for me to explain here, but the upshot is that we permanently booted the Niflheim gate out of Japan. Their nearest gate is now the Hawaii Gate, about 6000km east over the Pacific Ocean. Frankly, it's not really as impressive as it sounds (it just delays them by about 5-10 minutes depending on the max speed of the incoming demon). Basically we get an ICBM warning, you know, like "Incoming nuke! Duck!". It gives the temple a few minutes warning. They really appreciated it.

So I got ready to run through the gate to Valhalla to park my new toy in my collection, then come back home to my man. I had a reserved parking space that floats about 200km up and 10000km east of Central Valhalla. I call it "Lind's Museum of Really Cool Stuff." The Big ol' Star o' Death was going to be the new showpiece in my collection, front and center. Maybe on a little pedestal or something with a label on it: "Big ol' Star o' Death". (That is such a badass name!) But first I had to drag it though the gate. Yeah, it's always a pain.

I was just about ready to pull my new favorite toy out of null space, when I stopped to think for a moment. I'm glad I did. You see, I'm floating only 100km up, and my toy has a diameter that is 100-200km or so (I never measured it). So if I took my toy out of null space, the southern hemisphere might have scraped the temple into a smear. I don't think Keiichi would have appreciated that.

Phew, I'm glad I thought of that. Hmm, this thing is big. I better check with the gate first. Ask it to elevate to 1000km or so. That should be plenty of altitude, with a good safety margin.

"Yoo hoo! Gate! Helllooo! Can I talk to you for a moment please?"

The gate appeared in humanoid form: a cute little blond girl wearing a ridiculously oversized black robe like a tent. It covered her entire body so you couldn't see anything. I don't think she has any actual arms. The gate said cheerfully, "Hi Lind! How's life as a housewife?"

I said, "Uhm, I haven't really started yet."

"Oh I see. So how are you and Belldandy getting along?"

"Wait, you know about that?"

"I know everything that passes through me. I detected Belldandy's mind inside of Keiichi's unconscious head when you gals all passed through me on the way down to the temple."

"Oh."

"Jeepers, you gals really should tell the Big Boys upstairs to be a little more careful next time. That total botch-job almost kicked off Ragnarök!"

"Yeah, I know.."

"Almost everybody messed that one up, ugh. I can't believe that Hild is getting so desperate lately. You Fighting Wings are getting just too good for her I guess. Lind, it's mostly because of you. Your Valkyries really have her on the run lately."

"Thanks for the compliment. Uhm, well, just keep the fact that Belldandy is alive quiet, will yah?"

"Sure, no problem. You know, it is really a pity that you are retiring. I like your flybys through me. You fly faster than anybody. You zoom so fast through my bowels that it really tickles my innards. It is kind of, uhm, stimulating, if you know what I mean."

"Uh.. thanks for that.. compliment.. I think."

"Yeah. Hey, I heard a rumor that you will soon be receiving knowledge and understanding of the fifth kind of love in a big way. That's really cool."

"Really? I hadn't heard that one. I mean, Belldandy kinda hinted it, but I am going to get level five in a big way, really?"

"Just a rumor."

"Ooh. Thanks for the heads up. Yeah, I'm really excited about this."

"Me too. I'm even more clueless of about this love stuff than you are. I tried to learn about that once myself."

"Uh, you did?"

"Yeah, just level three - didn't want to start too high up. I went down to the temple and chased everybody around trying to kiss them all."

Eeewww. I kept that thought to myself.

"Uhm, sounds kinda spunky. I do like that, but I think you should have asked permission first, especially with anything involving Belldandy or her friends. She's very protective of them. So, uh, did you learn anything?"

"I dunno. Belldandy told me there are very important connections between the levels, that they are 'synergistic' or something. That you can't just do a single level in isolation like that. Or shouldn't. She said I was just pressing lips, that I didn't get it. Honestly, I think she was right. It wasn't working."

Hmm. Interesting intel. I'll have to member that.

She went on. "I didn't get much out of it. Maybe a teeny little bit of level four rubbed off on me, I think from Belldandy and Keiichi, but that was it. I was kinda disappointed. I still wanted to experience level three."

"That's too bad."

"Yeah. I wanted level three sooo bad. So I did a cheap trick with Keiichi."

"What was that?"

"I got him to [bleep] me with the key."

"You did what?"

"I got him to [bleep] me. He was so embarrassed."

"He didn't actually do it, did he? Please tell me he didn't."

"He did. Heh."

Ugh. I need mind bleach.

She continued, "It was _intense_. The endorphins, I mean, wow. I didn't know I was a screamer. Heh. I freaked out everybody, even Peorth."

She freaked out even _Peorth_. I had no idea the gate was such a total perv. I plugged my ears, "Stop stop stop! I don't want to hear this!"

"Sorry."

Yeah, I had to ask. I will probably really regret this, "So, uh, did you learn anything from that?"

"Uh, no, not really. Except that I need more lubricant."

Argh! Mind bleach! Mind bleach!

"Look, can we change the topic of conversation please? I need to ask you a question."

"Sorry, what do you need?"

So I told her.

You will not believe her reaction to my request.

* * *

**A/N:**

At this point in the story I will stop and reveal the narrative style that I am using. It should be pretty obvious if you know anything about the _Discworld_ novels.

Yes, I am channeling Terry Pratchett.

You didn't spot that? Oh c'mon, it is totally obvious!

For those of you who do not know what Discworld is, it is a flat disc balanced on the back of four elephants standing on the back of a giant turtle. The Discworld operates on well defined rules, many of them genre savvy. (For example, if a character says "That is a million to one shot!", it means the event will almost certainly happen and the character knows it will.) My gals aren't quite so genre savvy (too hard to write), although I do sometimes lampshade some of the dumber tropes invoked by the crossover authors, like J. J. Abrams trying to turn_ Star Trek_ into _Star Wars._

And yeah, I had to mess with _Star Wars_. It is obligatory. I didn't do Lucas' pathetic prequels because it would be like kicking the dog. Just be thankful I didn't sic Lind on Palpatine or JarJar Binks (oops, splat!)

Pratchett's stories do tend to get somewhat silly sometimes, but they have a solid narrative structure and are well written. Occasionally the story gets quite deadly serious indeed (in a good way). I will do something similar in this fic in a future arc.

Pratchett's late novels seem to have gone off the rails and have gotten bitter for some unknown reason. (Health? Girlfriend dumped him? Dunno.) It looks to me like he has become a hard atheist and some of his late novels are now merely anti-deistic rants. Maybe something happened to him, or maybe he's just getting old. I am avoiding those novels.

Now, it does seem like Lind is a walking agent of splatter, like a character in a _Robot Chicken_ sketch. I am doing it because it actually makes sense for her character when dealing with mere mortals. It is established that she almost never interacts with mortals - I believe it is for their safety. Notice how she is very careful around Keiichi, and doesn't even touch him until she's basically dying at the climax of the angel-eater attack. Notice that the transfer of her angel did not involve kissing, even though it is established later (with Welsper) that kissing is the best way to do it. You see, she was being careful. She didn't want to hurt him.

Hmm. Lind's hyper-dangerous nature will make their future intimate relationship kinda difficult, don't you think? I wonder what they will do about it?

Yes, I believe I am running Lind mostly in character (in my opinion). Really. She's ditzy right now because Belldandy messed with her head, her hormones are now raging, she's exhausted, and she's out of her element. And remember that all L1 goddesses have huge blind spots in their personalities due to their abstract nature (they are not real people like you or me).

I do not believe I am running Lind OOC in my opinion (modulo the comedy stuff).

Here is why:

First, we don't know much about Lind. We only see her in the _Fighting Wings_ OVAs and during the climax of the Lord of Terror attack. During both events she was in her aggressive do-or-die mode the whole time. We don't know what she is like during her downtime. We don't know how she deals with her subordinates, even though she is established as the leader of all the combat Valkyries. So I give her some qualities there: She likes her subordinates to have spunk and take initiative, and their bending the rules can be okay if it achieves the objective, doesn't violate Lind's sense of ethics, and she doesn't catch flack from her superiors about it. (In her heart, Lind is really a sergeant, not a general. She gets the job done even if it breaks some technical rules.) And Lind takes very good care of her gals and loves them all like a mother. It is _very_ hard for Lind to order a subordinate to her death, even when it is absolutely necessary, and the subordinate is very willing (and they always are). She is very much like General Omar Bradley in World War II: The Grunts' Favorite General. This is because Lind feels she is a grunt herself, just one cursed with a lot of hated paperwork and having to deal with all these high-level weirdos ordering her and her team around all the time.

The only thing we know for sure is that on her downtime she seems to like to hang around with Peorth a lot. We see that in the second OVA during the beach shell hunt game, and the duo pops up together at the start of the Hagall arc and get left behind together.

I think that is a big clue about her real everyday nature (when she's not on the job as a walking WMD). She likes to hang around with Peorth. They are the classic odd-couple couple, complete opposites, which is why they like each other. Chapter 8:

_It worked because we were so different. I'm always serious and frowning, she's always happy and smiling. I'm all business, she's all fun. I'm level four, she's level three. I'm clueless about level three, and she's clueless about level four. We are like two ships passing in the dark that drop anchor and gab for a bit before moving on to the next port of call._

So she's laid back on her downtime. She likes to splash around in the tub with Peorth and gab. She'll even goof off a bit. I think it works well.

Second, I have Lind using street lingo in her narration because in my mind she never graduated from high school. (Explained in chapter 5: In her youth Lind was a street punk like Alex in _A Clockwork Orange_.) She's blue collar and went straight into the military (happens a lot). The military changed her life, and very much for the better.

Notice that she hates paperwork and never reads anything. There is an obvious reason for that, which she is trying to hide from everybody. She's not stupid, just not educated (except for military stuff). She is actually a fast learner when she puts her mind to something, and she will be greatly tested in this way as the tries gamely to take on Belldandy's responsibilities in the Morisato household.

Third, I have established that Lind's personality is changing and I am up front about it. That is, she is actually getting a personality. I drop a bunch of hints, then I lay it out plainly in Chapter 8:

_We first class goddesses have really weird personalities, if you can even call them personalities. Right now I have only three emotional states: aggressive, goofing off, or grieving. That's it. Nothing else. Peorth has even fewer emotional states: flirty or pouting. That's it. I know that's not normal. We are both living abstractions, not people. But Belldandy says that my personality is going to change soon, and in a huge way._

So to summarize: Lind is not OOC in my opinion, modulo the humor. And if you disagree with me, please justify it in a review.

-HuuskerDu

P.S. You might have noticed that I booted Urd off the stage. I had to do that. It is because Urd has very good knowledge of love levels three and four, and I think a good bit of instinct on L5 also. And Urd is a real person (not an abstraction like Belldandy). Urd having all that knowledge, and also being a real person, would wreck the story if she got involved with Lind. Make it too easy. The story would be over in 15 minutes. Lind has to discover it all on her own, slowly, making lots of mistakes, in actual hard painful experience, and not just have everything handed to her on a plate.

Skuld only has the lowest love level: _storge_, that is, familial love. She is emotionally very stunted. (She hasn't met Sentaro yet.) This is why she created the robotic dolls Banpei and Sigel, which then gamely try to fall in love with each other like Ken and Barbie dolls (and fail touchingly to do so). It is a fair indication of how badly screwed up Skuld really is emotionally, and how badly she is really hurting deep down. Belldandy just doesn't have a clue because she's too far up there, so Urd tries to help Skuld as best she can. (Notice how she and Urd are quite close, but she's not with Big Sis, except to idolize her.) Now that Urd is gone, and Belldandy is even more reclusive, Skuld desperately needs a big sister that can really help her understand all this love stuff. I wonder who that should be?

I'll give you a spoiler: It is revealed in the final chapter that Skuld develops all five later in life and actually will understand them all quite well, even better than Urd does now.

Maybe I'm giving away the ending too much.. feh.. it's simply _awesome_. I'm really itchy to push the Post Chapter button on those final four amazing chapters.

Thanks again for reading.


	12. Chapter 12: Lind and Peorth Break Up

**Chapter 12: Lind and Peorth Break Up**

I asked the gate to to fly up to 1000km altitude and then open up to 200km diameter or so.

Then gate tried to kick me in the nuts. I mean, if I had any. Hey! It was mad at me. "Are you crazy, Lind? You know I have a diameter and mass limit! Can you even imagine the kind of constipation I'd get trying to pass something that big through my bowels? No amount of Metamucil would get that thing out!"

"Oops, I forgot that. Sorry."

You see, I had forgotten that each gate has a limit on the size and mass of anything permitted to pass through it. It is a basic security feature. Otherwise Hind could try to chuck a sun through it, or a super-massive black hole. I mean we could probably handle something like that dropping on Valhalla, but the collateral damage would be ridiculous. Freya would go ballistic about the damage something like that could do to her tulip garden.

I was so glad I didn't try to drag my other 100km toy through the gate. You remember that one? That really spiky sweet ride? The one that I wanted to swipe from that smelly bald guy that I sneezed into gibs, before I accidentally (and not on purpose) broke it in half?

That thing was so spiky. If I tried to drag that thing through the gate's bowels.. eeewww.. she'd probably die of peritonitis or something. Glad she never saw that thing coming at her. She would have tried to kick me a lot harder.

"Lind, I cannot believe you forgot something so basic."

"I said I was sorry."

The gate shook its head, tsk, tsk. "You know, Lind, everybody says you've been getting kind of ditzy recently."

"Yeah, I know. It's because Belldandy messed with my head and unlocked my _eros_. These new hormones, I'm not handling them well."

"Yes, but it is more than that."

"Like what?"

"Like you are developing a personality. That causes side effects. You're not the single-minded living weapon of mass destruction anymore."

"Sigh. I know. Tyr said it is a pity that I am losing my mojo."

"He's right. Valhalla is losing its best military asset in its eternal war with Niflheim. Tyr is making an enormous sacrifice giving you up for Keiichi. It's going to really hurt our security."

"I know! That really bugs me. I feel like I am ducking the fight, walking away from protecting my gals. It really bothers me. But once I accept the mission I do it the best I can, no matter what. And Belldandy says this mission is the right thing for me to do, and I always trust her. Something really big is going on, I can feel it. Something huge and important, and somehow with this mission I am at the center of it all, although I have no idea how or why. I'm certain of it."

"You are correct."

"Really? Thank you, I really need the assurance right now. I'm kind of flying blind right now. That helps."

"Don't mention it."

"Bye." I left.

* * *

Well, dang it, now where I am gonna stash my new toy? I need to hide it from the mortals and yet be able to find it again. It is kinda big. I can't park it on the dark side of the moon, it's not built for a landing. I want to park it so I can fly out and admire it once in a while, but not so far away that I am leaving Keiichi unprotected. Gotta hide it within the local solar system, and I want to be able to find it again quickly. Hmm.

Gotta orbit it somewhere. Can't be an asteroid. Those amateur astronomy buffs are always sweeping the skies with their telescopes looking for new ones to get named after themselves. Egotistical twits.

So I took my new toy and parked it in orbit around the dwarf-planet Pluto.

A few months later NASA reported that the Hubble Space Telescope had discovered another moon around Pluto. They named it Hydra. It was just a dot so it was okay. They said the density seemed suspiciously light, like it was hollow (oops), but more likely it was made of light ices (suuure, believe whatever you want).

What I didn't know was that an unmanned NASA probe named _New Horizons_ was going to fly by Pluto in 2015. Hoo boy, was it going to be awkward when it images Hydra. But I would already be dead by then, so even if I had learned about the absolutely amazing and famous images that would be transmitted back to Earth from what would become NASA's most important and historic deep space mission ever, I probably wouldn't have cared much.

* * *

Later I flew back home and sauntered in the front door of the temple.

"Yoo hoo! Keiichi! Skuld! I'm home!"

I heard Skuld down the hall, "We're in here!"

They were all in the rec room. I walked in.

Keiichi, Skuld, Peorth, and Megumi were sitting around a table learning to play contract bridge. Apparently Megumi was teaching them the card game.

Peorth jumped up and gave me a big hug. "Mon cheri! Thank you for the good news! I am here to help!"

I gave her a slightly awkward hug back. "Yes, hi Peorth. Thank you for coming to help me on such short notice. I'm sorry I haven't seen you in a while. I've been so busy lately. It's so nice to see you again."

She beamed, "And now we are all together! All three experts in the art of love that you will ever need, all in this room together! Ooh la la! This will be an education for you!"

Skuld said, "Wow, even me?"

"Uh, well, my dear, uh.."

Peorth meant Belldandy. Oh good one, Peorth, you idiot!

{ Belldandy: Sigh. }

To her credit, Peorth recovered fast, "Why, yes, my child, even you! For you must teach your new adopted sister about the love of _storge_, familial love!"

Skuld said, "Wait, she ain't my sister."

Peorth shrugged theatrically "Well, perhaps the adoption paperwork is not final yet."

"What!?"

Peorth, knock it off! I wanted to blast that thought at her telepathically, but her telepathy sucks so bad I know she'd never hear it. Grr...

Keiichi saw me and spoke up, "Uhm, Peorth, I think you are upsetting Lind and Skuld. Maybe you should stop that."

"Well, I apologize for that. But still, this will be such a lovely time together! We are going to have such fun!"

Yeah, she will, not me. Sigh.

Keiichi rolled his eyes. "Peorth, please not again. We've been through this how many times now? Lind is just fulfilling my wish. I really do like Lind. A lot actually, she saved my life and all, and I know I'm really safe and protected now against Hild's attacks, and I really appreciate it. But Peorth, just give it up, will you? I love Lind as a dear close friend, a very close friend. We fought together in the foxholes, almost died together, and that relationship during such a stressful time can grow to be very strong. And if Lind got into another life or death struggle and needed me to risk my life, I would do it in a heartbeat. But I don't want to have sex with Lind, so just give it up, okay? I would ask you to leave, but I know you won't. So I have decided that I am just going to ignore you."

Peorth pouted, "Well!"

Then Keiichi looked over at me, "Lind, I suggest you do the same."

I did the lopsided grin again, "Well, we can sure both try. But you know Peorth."

"Yeah, I know. Two no-trump."

Megumi said, "Pass."

Skuld said, "Uh.. double?"

Megumi, "No! That's a take-out double after 2NT! You biffed it!

Skuld put down her cards, "This game is really hard. I don't like it."

Peorth must have gotten over her pouting, because she put down her cards and she absolutely beamed at Keiichi's kid sister. Or maybe she was trying to change the topic of conversation. I wouldn't put it past her. "Megumi, my dear, I would still much want to hear more about your absolutely delicious new boyfriend. You say he is in Paris now? You must join him there! The sites I could recommend for your romatic liaisons him! The Ile de la Cité ! The park of Les Halles! Did you know that Louis XIV hid a special bedroom in Versailles with a secret door, just outside the the quarters of the maids? It is true! I will show you! No living human knows that it exists! The great bed is still there, and the room is large, and yet no one has found either one!"

Megumi said, "Wow, really? That would be a great extra-credit topic for my college architecture class. How did you find out about that secret bedroom?"

"Well, that is a remarkable story. You see, I was dressed up as a maid working in the palace, undercover. It was the middle of the light and I was trying to find Jacques so I could explain why Marie had left him and how to win her heart back, when I suddenly ran into the Sun King himself! His eyes absolutely gleamed at moi! He asked me my name. And then... "

That ended the card game. The gabbing went on for a while. I offered to cook dinner but I got shouted down with a chorus of "Nooo!". They weren't dummies. Food poisoning isn't fun.

So at my suggestion Keiichi went out on his motorcycle to get us some KFC take-out. Yeah, I still couldn't cook worth spit, and Skuld wasn't much better. We would need to fix that soon. The household budget couldn't handle buying take-out for every single meal, especially for this many people. Megumi offered to help pay for the KFC but Keiichi would hear none of it.

* * *

After dinner I went outside alone to think. I flew up to the roof of the temple and sat. A minute later Peorth flew up and sat next to me.

Sigh.. this was it.. the break up. I am so going to hate this.

She said, "Mon cheri, how are you doing?"

"Not well. I really need your help. Thank you for coming."

"Anything for you, my dearest."

"Uhm.. can we talk?"

"Of course."

I had to do it. "Peorth, there is something I need to tell you. It's very really hard for me to say this."

"One moment, my dear, let me go first."

"Okay.."

"I am very sorry, my dear, I do love you very much, but I must ask that we no longer share bath time together. I hope you are not heartbroken."

"Uhm.. no! Uhm.. I mean, yes! I mean.. wait.. are you breaking up with me?"

"I must. I am sorry."

What? "Why?"

"Because you are with Keiichi now. And your third kind of love is now unlocked. That means, sadly, that we cannot be that way anymore, playing in the bath, you and I. It would create conflict. Please, please, do not take what I say the wrong way. I very much want to remain your friend, now and always."

I couldn't believe it.

She looked down. "And.. if you hate me now.. and you want me to depart forever, I will."

"What? No! Of course not! I'm so happy! This means we can remain friends!"

She raised her head and beamed at me. "Yes! We can, you and I. I am so glad you comprehend. I was very afraid you would not. I am so relieved."

We exchanged deep hugs.

This was going to be okay. She was really going to coach me on this. This was wonderful.

I was starting to actually look forward to her helping me.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

* * *

**A/N:**

I am making each chapter deliberately short, around 2000-3000 words each. The reason is comedic timing. Humor stories should be quick and breezy (Pratchett writes this way), so that the story moves fast and does not dwell too long on any one particular funny event. The narrative just keeps moving on. That way, as you laugh about one goofy event, the next one is already rolling in. The best film comedies all work this way too: _Airplane!_,_ Animal Crackers_ etc.

My story does have a serious side, which will appear very soon. For example, we will soon discover just how messed up Lind really is emotionally. She has some significant issues going all the way back to her childhood: no friends, mocked, feared, etc. I already hinted about this in Chapter 5. It is one reason why she hangs out with Peorth so much. And there is something else very significant in her past that will surprise you, about why she feels so hurt inside but never admits it to anyone. It fits canon perfectly and will become very obvious to you once I point it out.

I just gave away a spoiler about how Skuld and Lind's relationship will develop: They will become emotionally bonded, and they will eventually become much closer to each other than Skuld and Urd ever were. It will be very touching.

So I put most of the really silly comedic stuff up front. I wanted to establish just how cosmically powerful Lind really is, in order to to make her housewife duties that much funnier. (I hinted about this back in Chapter 8.) Lots of more humor is coming up, but it will be basically a gentler kind of humor, such as slice-of-life episodes within the Morisato household, or our heros going out on campus and meeting the Nekomi gang. You just know that Sayoko is going to show up and mess with Lind's man, to per mortal peril. And, hoo boy, Aoshima better stay 100 miles away if he wants to live.

Sadly, there will not be any more exhibits added to Lind's Museum of Really Cool Stuff for the remainder of the story.

Well, ok, maybe possibly one more (because I gotta do it) - the most epic cool badass toy that Lind could ever possibly imagine: V'ger.

V'ger is sentient so she just can't kill the crew or scare them off. So how to nick that most epic of spaceships? And V'ger is basically a god itself. Hmm, tricky..

That particular mini-vacation for Lind is not essential at all to the story, because Lind's abilities are now firmly established. V'ger will be added if I can make it really funny, and if I have time. I kind of think I want to.

* * *

**A/N:**

Help me! I am dyslexic!

I am a 200+ wpm touch typist who is nearly blind. I do spellcheck, but if you spot any word omissions, transpositions, wrong homonyms, etc, please post so I can fix them. For example, sometimes will I omit word in a sentence, or transpose words two, or repeat an expression repeatedly. :-) The problem is at the sentence level. I have no problem with spelling, and spell-check fixes that sort of thing anyway.

I usually bang out a whole chapter, roughly 2000-3000 words, typically in one sitting. Then I go back and re-read the new chapter, like 10 times, and I still miss all the mistakes! I think it's because I've memorized the chapter as banged it out, and then I only see what is already in my head, not on the screen. But I can go back a month later, re-read a chapter, and still miss them! That is so frustrating. I tried doing betas, but it's not working. Takes too long, too impatient to wait, gotta show off my new toy _now_! I'm as bad as Lind that way.

So thanks in advance for your help.

* * *

**A/N:**

Yes, I am doing a lot of re-writing. This is just my style. The big reason is that I am trying to hit every beat on the super intense climax, followed by the five hanky ending. Almost every paragraph in the last couple chapters will refer back to something you've already seen, or should have guessed by that point. If you understand Lind's emotional headspace - and you should have gotten a good intuitive feel for it by that point - then you should also have full understanding of what the fifth kind of love really is, before I lay everything out for you on a silver platter in the final chapter.

So I am re-writing some things in previous chapters. When the last four chapters go up, you should go back and re-read the story to try to pick up all the clues that I carefully planted. I strongly recommend you do so before reading those final four amazing chapters. It will make the emotional payoff that much better. That ending is _epic_.


	13. Chapter 13: The Whip of Roses

**Chapter 13: The Whip of Roses**

And so began my first full day as the newest member of the Morisato household.

The first thing I did was discuss with Belldandy the problem of Keiichi having unconscious access to first-class goddess powers. She reassured me that it would not be a problem. Keiichi did not know he had such powers, so he would not use them, at least not consciously. This was why he must never be informed that he has them.

She told me that the only real danger would be when he was asleep and dreaming. He might trigger those powers asleep in his dreams, especially if he wanted something he could not have in real life. Belldandy told me that she would monitor all his dreams, and if something was about to happen that might trigger those powers, she would distract him by appearing in his dream. She would then talk to him, or do whatever else was necessary to distract him or calm him down as needed, and so the powers would remain suppressed.

I was a little skeptical at first, but she was confident. Remember, this is Belldandy we are talking about. She can do anything. If she says she can keep him under control, she can. I decided not to worry about it.

Peorth then loudly announced to everyone that she would stay 'as long as it takes for Lind to find true love!' Ugh. That could be forever. I didn't miss the fact that she invited herself to stay, perhaps permanently, without asking anyone first.

For our breakfast Keiichi drove his bike into town and brought back a bag full of 'egg-mick-muffins from the clown', whatever that meant. I tasted one. Eeeewww. You gotta be kidding. Peorth hated them too. But Skuld, Megumi, and Keiichi gobbled them up. There were enough left over for breakfast tomorrow as well. He put them in the fridge.

The whole gang retired to the rec room, and soon they were all gabbing about the new arrangements, and about my future. I noticed that I wasn't participating.

Then there was a pounding on the door. Everybody looked at me expectedly. Oh, I'm supposed to answer that! I ran out to the door and opened it.

At the door were these two really big guys. The one on the left was huge, very muscular and top-heavy, with dark hair, beady eyes, and a moustache lip. The other one was even taller, but a bit thinner build, although still muscular, with round John Denver sunglasses, spiky blond hair, a biker jacket, and was wearing some kind of odd long devices for earrings. Both were dressed in black.

Hey, that blond guy is kinda cute. He had some flowers in his hand.

The blond guy said, "Good morning, lovely lady! We are good friends of Morisato. Is he here? We just heard about the accident in Norway. We wanted to give Morisato our condolences."

Wait.. hey.. that blond guy.. he is _really_ cute. I mean wow, just look at him! He made Hahn-sew-low look like Pee-Wee Herman!

Yep, I was in instant lust. Totally.

I had that stupid idiotic grin again. Sigh.

With pure naked lust in my eyes, I just stared at the blond guy. My eyes were aflame (literally, I found out later - my irises had turned from blue to yellow). I was also told later that my grin was not idiotic, it was quite evil-looking. It was because my sex hormones were raging at 100%, and I wanted him. Now.

I just stood there with the stupid evil grin and yellow flashing eyes. A couple of seconds passed. It got awkward.

The blond guy saw me eyeing him like a meal. He got a little nervous. He made a little cough noise, then he said, "Uh, hello again, young miss. My name is Otaki and this is my good friend Tamiya."

Tamiya said, "Pleased tah meet yah. We are, uh, very sorry for your loss and all. Is Morisato here?"

The guy on the left was a smelly stinky doofus. I ignored him. But that blond guy on the right.. oh wow.. he smelled really nice. Take me, take me now!

Yeah, it was getting really bad.

I was still staring with the evil wolfish grin. I think I started to drool a bit too. He backed away a step.

Wait.. I need to say something.. "Uh, hello, uh.. very nice to meet you.. Mr. Otaki.. My, that is such a lovely name. Otaki.."

Tamiya was getting suspicious, "Wait, who are you? Are you another one of Morisato's girlfriends?"

Then Otaki stopped and glared at me. "What, no way dude! Look at her! You think she is his girlfriend with that come-hither look on her face? Hey! I bet he hired her! That dog! Belldandy died and not a week later he's with a lady of the night! That is incredible!"

Wait, they already know about Belldandy.. how.. but my mind wasn't working.

I did not realize that by this time Keiichi and rest of the gang had quietly assembled behind me and were watching everything.

It was like I was on auto-pilot. I started to walk forward to snog him. This was bad! I can't do another decapitation! Not right here at the front door! Stop! No! Bad Lind! Bad dog! Heel! Sit! It didn't work. I was enthralled. I moved toward him.

He backed away again, but I was faster. I was just about to plant one on him.

{ Belldandy: Stop her! }

No good. Nobody could hear Belldandy but me. Peorth was deaf to her words.

But luckily it did not matter. Peorth yelled, "Non!" and lunged forward and grabbed me. She dragged me away by the collar of my combat uniform.

I didn't resist because I still too was busy staring at Otaki's incredibly hot bod. As she dragged me away I yelled, "Call me sometime!"

Hoo boy.

I could still hear the conversation out front. Apparently Tamiya stamped his foot because I could feel the ground shake. Then he yelled, "This is an outrage! Morisato, you are a disgrace! You are insulting the legacy of the Auto Club with your faithlessness to her memory!"

Keiichi sounded flustered, "Oh, no.. no.. wait.. I can explain.."

Otaki looked over his shoulder at me, "What is it with you, Morisato? Was that a women of the night that you hired for your pleasure? And so soon? You dog! How could you do this to Belldandy!?"

Tamiya was getting even more worked up, if that was possible, "I cannot believe this, Morisato! Explain yourself immediately!"

Keiichi sounded flustered, "I can explain everything.. you see.."

The sound faded as Peorth dragged me into my bedroom.

She plopped my ass on the tatami mat and lorded over me, with her arms crossed. Looking down at my sheepish face she said, "Mon cheri, I see that I arrived here not a moment too soon. We will need to work together, to help you to learn to cool off your passions. They are aflame, and I am impressed. You have great passion that I was never aware of. Pity.. we could have.. non, never mind."

My irises were blue again. I sighed. "I'm sorry.."

"No apology is required. I comprehend. We will work together, you and I, to control your passion, your _joie de vivre_. It is powerful. This will be a challenge for us both. We will work together. This may take much time."

I said nothing. I needed help.

"First, I will give you the mental exercises, then other things as well. It will be difficult, but I will teach you to control that great flame of passion. And in the end, you will. We will be successful. And then you can have Keiichi."

I drew up my knees together and looked up, "I don't think I can do this.."

"You can, my dear, I know you can. You are in the military, you are disciplined, you follow orders, therefore you have self-control. You just need to learn how to apply that self-control to your passions so that you control them, and they do not control you."

"You're right. Just tell me what to do."

And so she did.

Peorth rode me like a military drill instructor. She reminded me of my first drill sergeant, Tuldy, so many thousand years ago, back when I was a newbie inductee in the Fighting Wings and had not yet even earned my first star. It was brutal, Tuldy's training. I almost didn't survive boot camp. It almost killed me.

Now it's happening again.

And so my ordeal began. I think I wanna die...

First, I was allowed no contact with Keiichi whatsoever. I understood. It was for his own physical safety. I was still far too dangerous to be around him for any length of time without a goddess-level escort.

Peorth taught me certain mental exercises. She taught me how to meditate, and some breathing exercises, and something called zazen. I learned how to calm myself, to put my mind at peace, even when highly stressed. For example, she'd hit me with the rose whip until I stopped flinching each time. That was not easy. Not easy at all.

Then she looked at me thoughtfully. "The irises of your eyes, they turned yellow. That is unusual. I must observe this reaction again closely, watch it happen. Then I might be able to diagnose it properly and prescribe the correct remedy. Yes, I must see it again, under controlled conditions. We will work together on this, you and I. This phenomenon must be understood and remedied before you can have any unsupervised contact with Keiichi."

I said, "Let's start."

So she tested me. She brought down one of the lust gods, Huod. Ironically that didn't work, as that goof-wad kinda disgusted me. So then she tried another. Nope. Then another. Nope.

Then she brought down Troubadour. Are you kidding!? She must be getting desperate. I knew what Troubadour did to Urd. That creep! He promptly insulted me, and that was all the excuse I needed. I grinned, then wound up my fist like Popeye. Before Peorth could stop me I clocked his chin and sent him flying in a suborbital trajectory. I heard later that the singing dorkwad had crash-landed somewhere in North Korea near the DMZ. The kinetic explosion and subsequent crater almost triggered a military incident on the peninsula between the North and South Korean armies. I got whipped good for that one, but it was worth it. Heh.

This wasn't working. Nothing was tempting me. She put her hand to her chin thoughtfully. "Hmm, we still must test you. This is oddly difficult."

I had to ask. "You?"

She hit me with that whip again. Ouch! "Non! I am your instructor, you are my student. I must remain above passion. I must be objective. I regret that, with you, I cannot. We both know why. It is hard, but we must be above temptation, you and I."

Wow, she takes her job really seriously. Had no idea. This was a new side of Peorth I had never seen.

She said, "We will find another way to test you. I will leave and return back as soon as I can. I may be gone for several hours. Do not leave this room for any reason. Not even if you hear Hild herself attacking Keiichi. Do. Not. Leave." She gave me a nasty look.

I bowed formally, "Yes ma'am. You are my instructor."

"Oui! And you are my obedient student. I am happy, and there is much hope. Trust me, we will cure you of this problem, and for good. But first I must understand it. And for that I must bring back something... special. Au revoir!"

She left.

I promptly plopped my ass back down on the mat like a doofus. Did I have that little self-control? What the heck is wrong with me? Was _eros_ that powerful? It couldn't be. I have watched enough human women to know they aren't tackling men on the street and ripping their clothes off.

Or do they? I have to ask someone. Peorth might be gone for hours. I cannot leave my room. I need to talk to someone.. who?

{ Lind: Belldandy.. I need help. }

{ Belldandy: Yes, I can see that. That performance of yours at the front door... }

{ Lind: I know. I'm really sorry. }

{ Belldandy: You should be. That was quite a disgrace from what I could see. }

{ Lind: Wait, you saw everything? }

{ Belldandy: Of course. I can see and hear everything that Keiichi can. }

{ Lind: Oh.. ugh.. That means that Keiichi saw me practically try to rape that guy! He must think the worst of me. This is awful. He saw me do it. He must think I'm a monster. I give up. I honestly don't think I can do this. Maybe I should just leave now.. }

{ Belldandy: Wait, no! You can't! }

That reaction was more emphatic that I had expected. Hmm.

{ Belldandy: I mean, he knows you better than that. Right now he suspects that Hild or some other daemon has you under a hypnotic spell. It has happened before. You see, one day there was this magic teapot that Marller dropped into the temple hallway, and... }

She explained what happened, that almost the entire household fell into a state of complete lust for their heart's desire and were captured by the teapot. She explained that Keiichi would think that something similar had happened to me, and not the terrible truth: Until I could get my hormones under control, I was a walking machine of gory death by sex.

But I was ignoring her explanation. It was because I was thinking furiously.

I caught her reaction. Belldandy had let slip that she really didn't want me to bail on him for some reason. Why is that? Why do I have to serve the wish? Peorth can do it too, right? Why does it have to be me?

Uh huh. Right. There is definitely some secret agenda at work here. I bet she's cooking up some big plan with Tyr. In fact, now I'm certain of it. But wait, she denied it to my face when I accepted this mission. Or did she? She's very clever... I know she can't lie to me outright, but she can certainly be very evasive if she wants to be, and she can withhold important information.

Sigh. There was no point. I didn't bother her asking again. I knew I wasn't suppose to be digging into the actual reason, and it would just make her uncomfortable with me. I needed her as a friend more than ever and it made no sense for me to antagonize her with accusations about hidden agendas. I wouldn't get anywhere, I wouldn't learn anything I didn't already know, and I was already committed to the mission.

Oh well. It's water under the bridge. I had accepted the mission. And Peorth is right, I'm in the military, and that means once I accept a mission I always follow it through no matter what.

* * *

I was napping when Peorth finally returned. She snapped her rose whip to awaken me. "Réveiller, my student! Prepare!"

I rubbed my eyes and looked upward.

Oh my.

He was strong and powerful, bald, with a single earring, like the Mr. Clean Genie. He was magnificent. Yep, that lit my bulb all right. I jumped out of bed and and stared at him.

The irises of my eyes turned from blue to yellow. He looked yummy.. delicious. I wanted him _now_. I started to approach him.

In my ears I heard Peorth but my mind did not. She said, "Interesting..."

Then.. wait.. I saw the two lined symbols on his forehead.

The symbols were not blue.

The symbols were red.

Oh dear. This is bad.

This is bad!

Attack!

{ Belldandy: Peorth! Stop her! }

"Non! Wait!"

Too late. I wasn't listening. For you see, my hormones had turned off my brain, and I was running solely on deadly instincts that were highly trained in mortal combat over thousands of years to operate instantly in a crisis. Those instant reflexes were why I was still alive. My lust had killed my higher mental processes. I whipped out my number 15 halberd. I was moving hyper-fast, unthinking. I was on auto-pilot.

And it was game on.


	14. Chapter 14: The Fortress of Doom

**A/N:**

**Note:** The famous image that is described in the story below never actually appeared in the anime film _The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya_. I won't spoil the reason why you never actually see it.

_Disappearance_ is the feature-length movie sequel to the anime TV series_ The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya._ The film is simply awesome. If you decide to watch it, please first read the introductory notes in my other big fic, _The Final Act of Haruki Suzumiya_, for instructions on how to watch the prereqs to understand the sequel.

* * *

**Chapter 14: The Fortress of Doom**

To my surprise, Peorth jumped in front of my weapon. _She caught the blade of my halberd between her two open hands_.

How was that even possible?

I stood there frozen and quivering. We were all motionless. It was like that famous scene at the climax of the anime film _The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya_, where Ryoko Asakura was lunging with her bowie-knife to stab Kyon, only to have the blade suddenly captured in the slowly bleeding hand of Yuki Nagato. There is a famous image, fan-drawn artwork, a tableaux, of all three of them in that pose, seemingly frozen forever in time.

Seconds passed while we remained in that same fixed tableaux. In my current state I was having trouble judging the passage of time. At some point Peorth spoke in a husky and breathless voice, with her open hands still clamped on the blade of my number 15 halberd, holding my weapon at bay. She gasped, "Stop! He works for me! He is a lust daemon. A very special kind. He has defected to our side. He is under my employ."

I tried to think. I knocked my head to clear the cobwebs. I stopped pressing down trying to slice my friend literally in half from top to bottom.

She said, "Put away your weapon!"

I was able to finally cough out a horse whisper, "Have you lost your mind?"

"Non! I use him only for the most difficult cases. He is my best. Put away your weapon, my good friend. Relax."

I did.

"Wait.. so how.. how did you do that? How did you stop me? That should have been impossible. You should be dead."

I saw that she casually removed a golden ring from her right hand. "This ring. It is a ring of protection against the weapons of a Valkyrie in combat. Against you. I suspected I might need it."

"Those rings are only to be used for combat training! They are classified! Who gave that to you!?"

"Why your successor did, Celebine. I asked to borrow it."

I did a facepalm. Of course she would. Peorth had contacted the Fighting Wings and took precautions to defend herself, in case I went nuts.

Hmm. That was impressive defensive planning. That Frenchwoman might not be as dumb as she appears to be. Yeah, that was impressive.

She didn't miss a beat. She stood aside and let me see Mr. Clean again.

"Now again!" The whip, ouch! "Be tested! Let me see."

I again looked at the huge genie, who never flinched during the entire episode. I was out of breath. My eyes were blue again.

I was panting. "I can't do this. Not now."

"Yes you can. Relax. Look at him. Watch him. He is my very best. You are emotional now, out of breath, and this makes you vulnerable, so this is the best time. Look at him."

Mr. Clean just kept his arms crossed and continued to grin at me.

So I did the same. We had a mutual staring contest.

His grin was so.. self-assured. What was it? Supreme confidence. Relaxed power. It was.. it was..

It was working. Yummy.. My eyes started to turn yellow again.

Peorth was watching me. "I see. You are attracted by looks, by physical appearance of masculine virility, nothing more. Very simple. That is very typical in a young ingénue, one who is naive, who is innocent, and who does not understand that love is about more than simple appearances. A very typical case. Yes, a type 2 if I am not mistaken."

Young? Ingénue ? Type 2?

My eye color wavered as I glanced over at her. "Peorth, I'm thousands of years old. You know that."

"Youth is of the mind, my dear. And in that way you are very young indeed. Fortunately the remedy is quite simple."

"Like what?"

"Take a deep breath, mon cheri. I am giving you exactly what your lust desires."

"What? No!"

"Oui. For as long as takes. We will burn it out of you."

Mr. Clean approached me.

"Help! Stop!"

And so she had me shack up with Mr. Clean for a week.

* * *

I found out that he was a eunuch. Didn't matter. I was snogging and crawling all over him like a minx. He just smiled and didn't react further. Nothing happened of course. It was really embarrassing. I had no idea I had so little self-control. I was so ashamed, but in my yellow-eyed wolfish state I didn't care.

He just grinned and let me do what I wanted.

After the second day I slowed down a bit.

After the third day I slowed down a bit more.

After the fourth day I slowed down a even more.

And then on the fifth day I started to get a bit bored with it all.

Peorth finally beamed, "Well, mon cheri, have you gotten that out of your system now?"

"Yeah. I'm bushed. And this isn't really that much fun. I don't know what came over me. And he's not doing anything, anyway. It's stupid."

"Yes. It is the lust of the first flush of youth. It had to be burned out. We have now done so. The passion of your flame has been reduced. It no longer burns with pure lust by mere appearance alone."

I looked down sheepishly. "Thanks.."

"It is my duty. A solemn one. This is bon. We are making progress."

We were.

* * *

Peorth and Mr. Clean finally left. She gave me a one day off from my regimen. But I was still forbidden to leave my room while she was gone.

That day Megumi re-visited the temple to check up on Keiichi and myself. During the afternoon she poked her head in my room. I told her that I was still stuck here in isolation (the cover story was that I had mono), but I was doing fine. She kept me company for a while, sitting at a distance, and we gabbed a bit. I asked her how Keiichi was doing, and she said he was fine. I pointedly did not ask about his reaction nor his opinion of my attempted rape of Otaki. I noticed that Megumi didn't seem upset about it, in fact she never even mentioned it, so I didn't bring it up either.

Eventually I would have to apologize to Keiichi about it. Alone. In private.

Skuld spent the days outside running around on the temple grounds. The weather was wonderful. She was working on some project. She would tell me the details of it later.

Megumi and I gabbed some more. She talked about her new boyfriend, the actor. It was the primary topic of discussion. I mostly listened, kind of. Well, not really. I was starting to space out a bit. She kept babbling how she seemed to really like him, he was so wonderful, yadda, yadda.

She then said, "You know, I might marry that guy some day."

That got my attention. "What?"

"Marry him. I might do it. I mean, if he asks. We haven't talked about it yet, his career is too much up in the air, for one thing, but I can see it happening some day, if things go right."

I had to ask. "How does that work?"

"Huh?"

"Marriage? How does it work?"

"Well, uh.."

"I've heard about it. You like, write up a contract or something, right? It's a formal agreement. You negotiate some kind of agreement with your partner and formalize it. I'm familiar with contracts - those bastards Downstairs write them all the time and try to get mortals to sign them. I know that contracts can be really tricky, you gotta really read the fine print carefully."

"Uh, no, a marriage isn't written up like a contract like that, not usually. I mean there is something called a pre-nup, but in my opinion anybody who writes a pre-nup isn't really getting married. It's just a convenient shack-up deal with an expiration date. Those things never last."

"Ok.. So how does marriage work then? What's the procedure?"

"Well, the ceremony varies a lot, but generally there is an officiant who solemnizes it. Marriage is a permanent and life-long bond. For life I mean. Usually there is an exchange of rings."

"Rings?"

"Yeah."

"Rings. I like that."

"Most girls generally do, heh. The trick is capturing a guy who will take one."

I really laughed at that one. I imagined myself capturing Keiichi with a fishing net and reeling him in and clamping a ring around his neck. Gotcha!

"Wow, you have a nice smile, Lind."

"Yeah, I get that a lot. Thanks. You do too."

Then she looked at me and said, "You know, I think you are going to be the best thing that ever happened to him."

"Huh?"

"I mean it."

"Wait, what about Belldandy?"

She looked down. "I know. It's tragic, the accident in Norway. I don't know how he took as well as he did. I thought he would break down totally."

I understood. You see, like everyone else, Megumi was fed the cover story: That about a month ago Keiichi had flown to Norway with Belldandy to get introduced to her parents. She shortly thereafter had died in a tragic automobile accident while crossing a street in Trondheim. Keiichi rushed her to the hospital where they talked and she said goodbye to him. He then attended her funeral there, then spent a month in mourning before he returned back to Japan. That was why none of the Nekomi gang were involved - they had heard nothing about what happened until last week. After that, several of them had stopped by the temple to give their condolences. That had happened mostly while I was doing my last job. Megumi picked up the ball and did most of the interaction with the visitors, while Keiichi mostly kept to himself. Tamiya and Otaki were only the last and most recent to visit. After my fiasco they didn't stay long, sigh. They didn't even leave the flowers.

During the month that Skuld and I were nursing Keiichi, I had phoned Tyr for help, and he asked Freya to take care of it. She had her gals on the Goddess Help Line set up a phone line that intercepted the calls to the funeral home in Norway (the ceremony was supposedly long over - the purpose was to intercept flower deliveries to the non-existent gravesite), and she installed a second phone line that intercepted calls to her ersatz parents' home for condolences, and re-routed everything Upstairs to her staff. She also set up a web site for mourners to submit on-line memoriams. The web site had nice photographs of her in life and a fake bio. Hmm, so that was Belldandy's full nordic name. I did not know that.

I did a spit take when I saw the pictures of her parents on the web site. They were photos of Tyr and Anzus. Of course they were heavily photoshopped. I mean, those four white wings sprouting out of the sides of Anzus' head had gotta go. It was a clever photoshop job, with some skin imperfections added, slight facial asymmetry, aging, blemishes, bigger noses, different hair styles (balding for him, short-cropped for her), eye color, and skin tone, no limiter ear jewelry (they both had a _lot_). But it was definitely them.

I said, "They had time to talk before she was gone. I think she told him a lot things he needed to hear. Private things. He refuses to share it with anyone, and I understand completely."

Megumi sighed. "I know. He's not sharing it with me either. And like you I'm not pushing him to disclose it. Whatever she said, I think it helped him a lot with his healing. That's just the way Belldandy was, you know? She was dying and yet she was comforting _him_. That's Belldandy."

"Yeah. That was her all right."

"I know, right? There was always something different about her. She was kind of ethereal, you know? It was like there was always something, well, magical, about her. It is hard for me to describe. She was like, I don't know, a Walt Disney princess or something. She was so beautiful, kind, gracious, caring, protecting, sharing, and loving, and all, but she was also kind of unapproachable. Do you know what I mean?"

I nodded, I understood. She was waaay up there. Not like me. Not like me at all.

She went on. "I don't think Keiichi's relationship would have ever gotten anywhere with her, not really. The relationship sort of stalled out, hit a plateau. It never went anywhere after the first year. I was very surprised when I was told what happened, that they were flying to Norway to meet her family. I never thought the relationship had gotten anywhere near that far."

She was right of course.

Finally she stopped and asked me, "Lind, are you okay? You do look kind of unwell. Is Peorth treating your mono okay?"

I made the silly lopsided grin again, "She's doing her best to, uh, cure me. I'm fine. It will just take some time."

She smiled, "All right. Well, I need to go back home to study for an exam tomorrow. But if you are having any problems, or anything like that, especially with anything regarding your taking care of my brother, please let me know. Let me try to help you, okay?"

"Sure, okay. Thanks. I will. And I promise I will watch over him, keep him out of trouble."

She chuckled, "Yeah, well, he sure needs it. Be good to him."

"I will."

She left.

Was I okay? The thing was, I _wasn't_ okay. Yes, I could control my passions now and not rape the first hot guy I saw. But those passions were always there. If I saw some hot guy I knew I would feel those passions again, bubbling just below the surface. There was no way I could control them 100% all the time, every time, every day, every night, every single time, and never slip, not even for one second.

For if I did, even for one second, I might turn Keiichi into chunky salsa.

The thing was, I was not feeling that way about Keiichi. Not at all. Ok, maybe I felt a small tingle that I kept trying to suppress, but it was nothing remotely dangerous to him. He should be perfectly safe around me, as long as I didn't make any sudden moves, and as long as I continued to have no real feelings of _eros_ for him. But I knew that would change. And it was probably already happening.

Dang it. This was way too soon, and even though I knew my life had a time limit, I still didn't want to push anything. It would be wrong, not just for him, but for Belldandy's memory. I knew she was still floating around and playing matchmaker for some unfathomable reason, but he didn't know that.

Or did he?

For you see, Belldandy's 'ghost' had appeared before him, when she used my unconscious mind to project an image to talk to him, and she told him many things, many secrets, including what I suspected was lot of things about our future relationship. She was preparing him.

And what was our future, anyway? I had a good suspicion of the big agenda that everybody seemed to have in mind for us. I knew what was supposed to happen in the future with Keiichi and Belldandy, the Judgement Gate, a future now aborted because of what happened when she died to stop Hild.

And I felt that I was some kind of half-assed replacement for someone who could literally not be replaced. That both Keiichi and I were being railroaded into a destiny that neither of us really wanted.

Or did we?

So, what were Keiichi's feelings to me now? Really? Underneath? At this point in our relationship he was still pretty hard for me to read in some ways, especially regarding _eros_. He denied it to everybody, to Peorth in particular (heck, I did too). But what does he feel about me really? I knew him very intimately on love level four of course. But at this point I didn't know him that well yet on love level three.

How could I find out? Oh, it's easy.

{ Lind: Uh, Belldandy? }

{ Belldandy: Yes? }

{ Lind: Is it okay if I ask you a question? About Keiichi's state of mind? It might be personal. }

{ Belldandy: I suppose so. What is it that you need to know about him? }

{ Lind: What are his emotional feelings about me? Deep down? On level three? }

A pause.

{ Belldandy: Well, I'm not really sure of that myself. You see, I don't understand the mortal mind like you might think I do. Not even my Keiichi. I know him so well in some ways, but in others he is a mystery to me, especially regarding level three. And I don't have actual direct access to his inner thoughts in my current state. That would require the firewall to be removed. I can reach out and contact his mind if I wish, but he would be aware if I did that. This is why I only contact his mind in his dream state. }

{ Lind: Okay... but in that dream state, what is he dreaming? }

{ Belldandy: Well his dreams about me are rather touching, but some of it I don't really understand.. }

{ Lind: Stop! Stop! That is private! I don't want to hear it! }

{ Belldandy: Of course. I'm sorry. }

{ Lind: What about his dreams of me? }

{ Belldandy: Well, I know that he feels very protected. He sees you as his guardian angel, watching over him, protecting him. He feels safe. }

{ Lind: Well, that is my job after all. And he thinks I'm doing it well? }

{ Belldandy: Yes, he does. }

{ Lind: Well, I'm not! I'm not guarding him properly at all! There are a million plans I was preparing to implement, to fortify the temple, set up a CAP, work out guard arrangements, all that, but I here I am stuck in basic training with Miss Rosey Stripperrific the Rose Whipper! And until she graduates me from boot camp I am absolutely worthless as Keiichi's protector! This sucks! }

{ Belldandy: Please calm down. }

{ Lind: Sorry. I got worked up. So is there anything else? }

{ Belldandy: Such as? }

{ Lind: Is he having any, uhm, impure thoughts about little old me? }

{ Belldandy: A little, I think. }

For some strange reason I felt disappointed.

{ Lind: Only a little? }

{ Belldandy: Yes. I think the problem is that he is a bit frightened of you. I'm sure you can understand why. }

{ Lind: Yeah, I do. Sigh.. }

{ Belldandy: This will pass in time, and probably soon, as you are allowed more direct contact with him, especially in private conversations. }

{ Lind: That might never happen at this rate. }

{ Belldandy: It will. Have faith in your teacher. }

{ Lind: Thanks. }

Belldandy retreated into his mind again.

Ok, so what did I feel regarding Keiichi? Lind, be honest with yourself.

Yes, I did feel a tingle around him sometimes, and I confessed to Peorth about the hugging incident when he was delirious, when I felt a solid tingle while I was hugging him. That didn't help at all.. it just confirmed in Peorth's mind "the destiny of your eternal love for each other!" Uh, yeah, whatever.

But really? Yeah. I think I would be okay to develop a relationship with him. A real one. We would grow close again. Very close. There might be some minor unresolved sexual tension, but we could both easily suppress it.

It was because we both knew that I could literally never touch Keiichi again for the rest of my life.

* * *

Boot camp lasted two weeks.

I won't bother you with the remaining details of my boot camp. It was tough but I finally passed. Peorth finally declared me safe and she released me from my room.

I saw Keiichi paddling around the kitchen trying to re-heat some old KFC. I poked my head in and waved, "Hi! They let me out of my cage. I've graduated from obedience school. I promise I won't bite!"

He laughed. "It's good to see you again, Lind. Yeah, Peorth pronounced you fit for human company." That got a chuckle out of me too.

Wait.. I was actually _chuckling_, and I did it absolutely casually, without even thinking!

Wow, my personality really was changing. And you know what? I was starting to like it.

Keiichi stopped and noticed my chuckle. "Woah. You look really nice when you laugh like that. Really, you look amazingly cute. Wow, Peorth did a really good job."

Peorth had nothing to do with my new ability to laugh and smile. That was happening on its own. I said, "Thanks." That response literal but evasive. Wait, did I just blush a bit?

Sigh. I got no time for this. We were weak. We were vulnerable. Defenses were down. This was the ideal time for a demon attack.

The first priority is securing the defensive perimeter. I mean, the Enemy could attack at any moment. I bet Marller was already on site doing recon. I had work to do.

So I casually declared to Keiichi that I was going for a walk outside. I pulled my head out of the kitchen, put my hands behind my back, and started to walk nonchalantly down the hall to the front door. I was whistling a silly tune.

Actually it was totally an act. I made sure that nobody was watching, then I raced outside to find Skuld waiting for me in the trench.

The next day, Keiichi whispered to me that I did a horrible acting job with my nonchalant walk and whistling. It was so ridiculously obvious he said it surprised him.

It was the first time he caught me trying to hide something. Drat. Am I that bad at it? Yeah, I was.

This would be the pattern for the rest of our relationship: I was horrible at hiding, well, anything from him. I just didn't have the natural ability to dissemble like Peorth or Belldandy. It just wasn't in my bones. I was always either brutally honest or totally failing at it, hilariously botching any attempt to hide whatever it was I was trying to keep from him. Nothing in-between.

My basic honesty was one of the things that much later, during our mutual teary confession, he said he loved about me the most.

And I remained honest to him right to the very end, when I paid the highest price for it. A price that, if I could do it all over again, I would have paid again in a heartbeat. Because I loved him that much.

My weird whistling got him curious. He poked his head out into the hall to see what was going on. Then he then saw me run out the door, so he switched to the window and spotted me conspiring with Skuld in the trench. He figured it was none of his business and shrugged.

And so it went.

* * *

I had already made secret arrangements with Skuld. She was wearing a World War II surplus US Army helmet, with netting and everything. She gave me a second one and I put it on. Safety first.

With the help of Banpei and Sigel the battlefield engineering prep was already proceeding nicely. We sat in the trench perimeter, at checkpoint Charlie 3.

I looked at her helmet and said, "Hey, is that a packet of cigarettes inside that netting?"

"Just candy cigs. It's for the look."

"Ok, nice."

"I know! This is so cool!"

"Very good, Private. You got spunk. I like that."

She saluted.

"Now, Private, give me the sit-rep on your battle prep. You had two whole weeks. It had better be good!"

She rubbed her hands. "Oh yeah.. take a looky here at my master diagram." She unrolled a scroll of parchment that was about six feet long, covered with lines and diagrams, with skull-and-crossbone warning symbols everywhere.

I squinted. I couldn't see it clearly.. need my glasses, dang it.

"Private, the following is classified."

"Huh?"

I opened up null space, took out my heavy black-rimmed reading eyeglasses, and put them on. Then I peered at the master diagram.

"Wow, Lind, you look like a dork."

"Shut up. And remember, this is classified. Battlefield stuff."

"Aye aye, Cap'n!"

"Hey, this ain't the Navy. Get it right. And use the right title: Air Marshal. My retired rank is 4-star Air Marshal. If you can't respect me - and I don't really expect you to, honestly - then please at least respect the rank. Respect the Fighting Wings. They are the only thing between you and Hell, literally. Always give the Fighting Wings respect. Always. Remember that."

She pouted a bit. "Yes, Air Marshal Lind. And I won't tell anyone."

I grinned and held her cheek, "Thanks."

"You really do look like a dork, though, ma'am, I mean General, I mean Air Marshal."

Sigh.

Anyway. Hmm.

Skuld's battlefield engineering prep-work was impressive.

You see, I had explained to Skuld two weeks ago that rule number one in warfare is _always control the battlefield_. So that is what I ordered Skuld to do. We had to protect the temple. I mean, it was always getting attacked by those bastards Downstairs, like every two weeks or something. That absolutely had to stop.

So Skuld dived in with gusto. I saw the minefield map, very good. Only turned on during an alert, right? Good. We won't want collateral. Oooh, electric razor wire, nice. Yeah, AC is more lethal than DC, good choice. Bouncing bettys? Eh, too much collateral, take those out. The shrapnel pattern is unpredictable. Out! I don't care how cool the bettys are, they gotta go! Stop pouting.

Hmm. You designed some UAVs? Lemmie see. OOoooh.. I like those! How do you pilot? Remote holographic headset? Lemmie see. Rev up the UAV #3. VTOL takeoff? Nice, no runway. Hmm, nice optics, yeah. Quiet manifolds, stealthy radar signature? Wow, good job. Good for recon. Laser mounts on the fuselage? Yeah that's the best choice. Very precise, avoids collateral. Hellfires too? That's really impressive. Yeah I know the name is ironic. We can to FF on the cam then pop L3-L4 daemons before they even know what hit 'em! This is good stuff, kid.

Show me the C^3 layout. Redundant control wires? Good. How many cameras? You're kidding! Wow. All those are 1080P HD color? IR? Dang right IR! Demons light up like a Christmas tree in IR! This is great. You did a really good job, private. Congratulations.

Hmm, we need a stronger air point defense. That's a weak spot. The US Navy Phalanx? Check if you can buy those as Navy surplus or not. Naw, depleted uranium is perfectly safe. They're just paranoid about radiation in Japan, don't worry about it. Have Banpei police the uranium rounds after each attack.

Drat, I see another weakness. We still have no decent air defense system against major incoming. What kind of incoming? The big kind. How big? I dunno, really big! The biggest! Look, just because we are paranoid doesn't mean that everything in Hell won't come raining down on our heads when the [bleep] hits the fan. We need something massive to protect this place from air attack!

Hmm. A huge point defense laser? Yeah, that's a good solution! Lasers minimize collateral. We need a *big* one, something so big that if those bastards tried to drop, like, Mars or something on the temple we could blow it away. Or if that Lord of Terror shows up again, I mean, that sucker was as powerful as a whole world.

We need one king hell mother of a planet destroying laser. Hmm.. where can we find something like that..

I got it! That'll stop anything! I bet it would even give Hild herself a good smoke up her ass, heh.

And so we went to work.

And by the time we were done, Skuld and I had created an automated military defense perimeter that protected the temple better than Valhalla itself.

Why? Because I loved Keiichi. I had to protect him. I had to protect him at all costs.

I knew the threat was real. The threat was not imaginary.

And I knew the attack would come soon.

For you see, I knew that at some point Belldandy and I would soon die defending him.

So I was just getting started.


	15. Chapter 15: Lind Buys Some Outfits

**Chapter 15: Lind Buys Some Outfits**

And so Private 1st Class Specialist Skuld and I began to prepare to install our sweet kick-ass point-defense superlaser system.

There were some logistical issues that we had to resolve before we could start, however.

First, we had to figure out how to power the sucker.

It seemed kind of impractical to use the original power source. Skuld wanted to bury the 4km-wide fusion reactor in the woods out back. I said no, it would never work. Why? Because I had previously slagged the regulator on the north tower. That meant the fusion reactor was a wee bit, uhm, radioactive. Ok, it was glowing in the dark. Any living thing within several kilometers would receive something like 5 sieverts per hour of gamma radiation, which was enough to give any human an agnonizing death within a week. Now I don't know about you, but I don't think the Japanese government would particularly appreciate something like that buried in their homeland, I mean, not unless they wanted to re-awaken Godzilla or something.

The second problem was constructing the support pilings for the eight superlaser generators. You see, lasers of that kind are actually so powerful that they have a pretty powerful recoil. The photon pressure is enormous. If we fired the sucker it would probably shove each superlaser generator down several meters into the muck. Our weapon would basically become a single-shot device, and I wanted to be able to fire it multiple times.

The third problem was cooling. The heat dissipation requirement was enormous. Skuld said that she could probably improvise something using superconductor cloth, but all that heat had to be dumped somewhere. So we needed access to a large body of water. And even then the cooling time would be measured in hours as the capacitors dissipated their waste heat into steam. No good. I wanted to reduce the recharge and cooling time as much as possible. In an emergency I wanted to be able to pop off a second shot ASAP. So we needed some kind of way to blow off all that steam quickly, all while rebuilding the charge in the main capacitors as fast as possible without having everything explode spectacularly. I agreed with Skuld that the explosion would look really cool, but I explained that it would kinda defeat the whole purpose of the exercise.

The fourth problem was the geometric configuration. The original dish was about 25km wide, which covered too much ground, more than we had available between the temple grounds and the adjacent woods. We had a diameter of just under 1km to work with, so we would need to recalibrate the launch angle and the junction point to fit the new geometry. The trigonometry was simple, but there were other difficult engineering problems that we had to figure out to make it work properly.

Private 1st Class Specialist Skuld and I then animatedly discussed these difficult engineering problems, and several others, late into the night.

I spotted Keiichi peering out his bedroom window at us, as we conspired at Checkpoint Charlie 3. I gave up trying to hide our little conspiracy, and it was just as well because he didn't seem to care. He merely shook his head and turned off the light and went to bed.

* * *

The next day Megumi was kind enough to assist me with selecting and purchasing some civilian clothes for me to wear. Apparently my white combat uniform was considered inappropriate for walking around on Earth. Had no idea.

I refused to wear Belldandy's dresses. They were nice, but they weren't me. I decided right up front that I was not going to try to mimic or imitate Belldandy's clothing style. Instead I would select clothing that would be natural for someone like me to wear. Megumi said that was a great idea.

Megumi then escorted me to the marketplace, and we visited several women's clothing boutiques. I hated everything. Finally after walking around almost everywhere, and just before Megumi gave up on me, I spotted an outdoor camping-hiking-fishing outfitter. Yay, jackpot! I bought lots of stuff: Some heavy duty overalls, some ball caps, hiking boots, sneakers, sweat bands, pairs of dungarees, tank tops, a camo jacket, and so on. For some reason Megumi did a facepalm.

Back at the temple she gave me some tips how to do several domestic household chores, such as washing and cleaning. It all seemed simple enough. I did a lot of cleaning as a Private 1st Class in the Fighting Wings way back when: Spit polishing combat boots, shining halberds until they glowed, stuff like that. Cleaning was easy. The big problem I had was with cooking. It was getting late in the day, and Megumi said she had to return home to study and get some sleep, so she left. She promised she would return tomorrow during lunch to help me with some cooking tips. That gal is wonderful. Meanwhile I would be on my own for preparing breakfast the next day.

* * *

The alarm clock awoke me at 6am. I yawned and rubbed my eyes, then I got dressed in preparation for my first full day as the new housekeeper of the Morisato household.

First, I put on my new housekeeping clothes: Sneakers, overalls and a ball cap.

Next, I attempted to once again prepare breakfast for Keiichi. On my only previous attempt I had struck out badly. This time I asked for help. I requested that Private 1st Class Specialist Skuld please assist her Air Marshal in this most important of duties: taste-testing.

I warned her this might be a suicide mission, so I would not order her to her doom. She then gamely volunteered to put her life on the line for me.

That girl is really brave.

Skuld patiently watched me once again try to make scrambled eggs. "Are you sure the cracked eggshells should be mixed in like that?"

"It's calcium. Keiichi needs to keep his bones strong."

"Oh, I see. Uhm, should it be burning like that?"

"It's just carbon. A basic nutrient."

"Uh.."

The burning gelatinous mass was sticking to the pan.

"Skuld, you got that power scraper? I'm gonna need it again."

"Sigh. Here it is. It's gonna really gouge the teflon though. Again."

"Can't be helped. Here I go. Wow that thing has a kick."

"Hey, watch the splatter!"

"Oops, sorry. Ok.. done."

"Uh, Air Marshal Lind, I am very sorry to inform you that based on my expert engineering opinion, the pan is kinda trashed."

"Ignore it. Just help me push it all on the plate. There, done. Wanna taste it?"

"No."

"What, you volunteered for this mission, soldier! Don't wuss out on me now!"

"I changed my mind."

"That's an order!"

"Wait, you said I could volunteer."

"That's right. I order you to volunteer!"

"Sheesh. Ok.. uhm.. it's, uh, crunchy. Uhm, he's not gonna eat this. Sorry."

"Dang it. More wasted protein. Ok, help me chuck it. Chuck the pan too."

Sigh.. it was time to re-heat two more of those awful egg-mick-muffins in the microwave. How does Keiichi keep on eating those nasty things?

* * *

That afternoon, I welcomed Megumi at the door. I offered her my profuse thanks for volunteering to come and help me learn all this cooking stuff. I was having a lot of trouble. She smiled, then saw my outfit. She raised an eyebrow.

What? Overalls are comfortable for working in the kitchen.

We went into the kitchen. I grabbed the rice cannister from the top shelf. I noticed that Megumi was watching me closely and frowning somewhat.

I stopped in mid-reach and said, "Ok, what's wrong?"

"Uhm, you need to wear a T-shirt under those overalls."

"Why?"

"Because look at yourself."

My arm was still raised up. "So?"

"Uh, you're partially flashing me right now."

"What?" I looked down. Oh yeah, I guess I kinda was.

Humm, that explained why Keiichi's face was so red during breakfast. I noticed it particularly as I bent over to hand him his icky egg-mick-muffins and his morning tea. I asked him if he was feeling okay, and he said he was feeling fine, even though he was obviously nervous or unsettled about something. I didn't press him. I did notice him staring at me again as I bent over and wiped the table off after the meal.

"Oops. I guess I need to wear a T-shirt."

"Uh, yeah. I'll wait."

"Thanks. This is why I need you to help me with this stuff."

So I put on a T-shirt under the overalls. That's better. Pity it doesn't let me dissipate the heat as easily. The humidity and temperature were stifling.

Keiichi returned later that evening. I went to his bedroom where he was studying for an exam. I knocked, then I poked my head in. I cringed a bit. "Uh, Keiichi, I'm really sorry about dressing like that during breakfast. I didn't realize. Really, I'm sorry.."

"Uh, it's okay, Lind. I didn't actually see anything."

"Well, no harm done then, right?"

"Uh, I guess not.."

"Oh well, goodnight!"

"Uh, goodnight."

That was odd. His face was getting a bit red again.

I asked Megumi about it the next day.

She laughed. "Ha! You were testing the Theiss Titillation Theory!"

"The what?"

"The Theiss Titillation Theory."

"Huh?"

She explained. You see, William Ware Theiss was the costume designer on the old_ Star Trek_ TV show. Basically, his theory was that an outfit that appeared that it _might_ let something slip and show can be far more sexy than even a nude woman. He applied his theory with gusto in designing the costumes on that show.

A good example was the costume worn by the fembot Angela in the episode, 'What Are Little Girls Made Of?'. Her outfit basically consisted of just two crossing strips of cloth. It allegedly caused a near riot on the set. William Shatner supposedly kept hitting on the actress during the whole shoot.

Another example was the toga worn by Lieutenant Carolyn Palamas in the episode 'Who Mourns for Adonais?'. That thing was even hotter: It was a single swath of cloth draped across her breasts and slung over her shoulder, held up by seemingly nothing but gravity. It appeared it could fall off at any moment. (Actually it was carefully taped on.)

What I had inadvertently done to poor Keiichi was something similar: I had worn some loose-fitting overalls that just covered my boobs. My moving around and bending over during breakfast threatened a wardrobe malfunction at any moment. Fortunately it never happened in front of him, but it was close.

So I was accidentally turning on Keiichi without my realizing it. That was why his face was red.

I had no idea I could do that to him.

Megumi laughed. "Ok, I have a question for you. Now that you know what happened, and even though you did it purely by accident: Do you like the idea that you can really turn on Keiichi that way? Be honest."

"Uh, well, yeah, I think I do. I mean, I did apologize to him, and I really meant it, and I won't do it again. But yeah, I'm definitely feeling something right now. I mean, just thinking about what happened, just thinking about his reaction to me. I'm feeling a bit tingly right now. That's really interesting."

She laughed again. "Yay! Then there is still hope for the both of you!"

Huh? What did she mean by that?

She wouldn't tell me.

Grr. Was this another example of _eros_ in action? But it seemed so... physical. Wait, wasn't _eros_ supposed to be about romantic love and intimacy? This was nothing like that. It was just titillation, wasn't it? Or was it because it was _me_, and not some other girl, that got him so worked up? I was confused. Megumi wouldn't explain further... she just had that twinkle in her eye. Sigh.

* * *

The next day there was a knock at the front door and I answered it.

Now, it just so happened that I wasn't wearing the overalls that day. Instead I was wearing dungarees with the cap and a tank top. Basically I was wearing a summer commando outfit, as it was comfortable for the hot sticky summer weather. Later Megumi told me that I looked like Linda Hamilton in the movie _Terminator_ 2._ S_he whistled and said that I looked really hot. Temperature hot? No the other kind of hot. Hoo boy, here we go again.

I do admit that I'm pretty toned like Linda Hamilton in that movie. A thousand years of fighting desperate life-and-death struggles will do that. But I frankly didn't think the ensemble was that particularly attractive. Megumi begged to differ.

Judging from the reaction that I had received when I answered the door, it seemed that someone else agreed with her.

There were two people standing at the door, a woman and a man. The woman was wearing black slacks and a well fitted light gray pullover shirt with no collar. She was thin, well toned, kind of like me. From her relaxed stance I could see instantly that she was an expert in martial arts, a good one. She immediately started to size me up as a potential combatant.

The man on the left.. oh my. He was really handsome, kind of like Hahn-sew-low, except far more suave and self-assured. More mature, relaxed. He was wearing sunglasses. Whoa, that smell..

Yep, I was feeling it. But I am happy to report that I kept myself completely under control the whole time. My eye color did not change a whit. Yeah, I had that tingly feeling, but it was not overruling my mind. Peorth's training was really working. This was a great test, and I felt like I was passing it.

The guy looked me over and grinned. He liked what he saw. He spoke up brightly, "Hello! My name is agent An-tho-nee De-nose-oh, and this is my partner, agent Zee-vah Dah-veed. We are with the United States NCIS. We were wondering if we could ask you a few questions?"

"Uh, sure.."

"May we come inside?"

"No, I'm sorry."

Hah! That was a basic law enforcement trick. I worked in law enforcement myself (heavenly law enforcement), so I knew how that trick worked: You invite a demon to cross your threshold and all hell could break loose, literally. These jokers might be demons in disguise. I wasn't taking any chances.

Apparently I annoyed the guy. He took his sunglasses off.

"Look lady, we know that four Phalanx Close-in Weapon Systems were stolen from a US warship two days ago. We traced them here."

I played dumb. That wasn't hard for me. "Oh, really now?"

"Yes, really now. We spotted them on a KH-11. We know they are here." He gestured, "Right over that hill."

I crossed my arms. I grinned. "So what are you going to do about it?" I gave a challenge with my eyes.

Wait, she's sizing me up. Who is she? Oh! She's one of the First Ones! Oops, they ain't demons. Uh oh, this was getting awkward fast. The tension was quickly rising, and I really didn't want a blue-on-blue incident. I'd get in trouble.

So I looked directly at agent Dah-veed and gave the tinest movement of my head: _No_.

The guy missed it, but she raised her eyebrow at me.

Sigh. I better come clean with her.

I said one word in Hebrew: "אישים"

[A/N: The transliteration is _Ishim_ -HuuskerDu]

Her eyes widened.

"Uh, Tony, we got the wrong address. We need to leave. Now."

"Wait, what?"

"We gotta get out of here. Trust me, I'll explain it later. Let's go. Sorry to bother you, ma'am."

I grinned, "No problem. Bye."

Dahveed tried pulling De-nose-o away from the door but he was clearly getting upset, "Huh? Zee-vah, what's going on?"

"That woman is, uhm, a guardian, a protector."

"What?"

"The Japanese government has no jurisdiction over this place. We gotta go. We can't touch her."

"Can't touch her? Crap, not diplomatic immunity again?"

"Uh, yes. Exactly! She has diplomatic immunity. She reports to a, uh, much higher authority."

"What, higher than NAVSEC?"

"Oh yeah.. way higher. Higher than the President. Let's go."

They turned to leave. I watched them go with a lopsided grin. He kept arguing with her. "Huh? Higher than the President?"

"Yeah."

"What? What can possibly be higher than the President?"

I didn't hear her response.

Then he exploded, "Christ on a crutch, Zee-vah! Are you insane!? Wait, you are messing with me again aren't you? This is some kind of weird Israeli humor isn't it? What the hell is this? Some kind of joke or something? You know, sometimes you really..."

It faded out. I closed the front door.

I yelled, "Skuuuuuld!"

She popped up behind me. She was still wearing the WWII helmet with the pack of candy cigs in the netting. "Yes ma'am!"

"Remember our discussion about close-in point defense? The Phalanx system?"

"Yeah!"

"Those things, they're behind the hill at Checkpoint Bravo 2, right?

"Yeah!"

I checked the window. "I see 'em now, four pods. Now, where did you happen to get those, hmm?"

"Well.. uhm.. I kinda borrowed 'em."

"You swiped them from a United States naval warship, I bet. Am I right? You know, when those kinda things disappear, uh, it gets noticed. Then NCIS comes a-knocking on your door."

"Naw.. it's CVN-65, the USS Enterprise. It's fine. They aren't using them anymore. That flattop just got decommissioned."

"Skuld.."

"And Lind, you won't believe the nuclear power plant on that sucker! It's got *eight* A2W nuke plants! That's four times more than any other ship before or since, ever! It's crazy overpowered! Crank those eight nuke plants full tilt and that thing would fly like a speedboat! They never did it.. too powerful, it'd break the keel! Wow, that is so cool! Admiral Hyman Rickover was totally insane when he spec'ed that mother. I mean, he's just like me! I love that guy! Pity he's dead and all. I'd love to talk to him. Next time they should build a flattop with *sixteen* A2Ws, or the newer A4Ws. With that much power I could probably levitate that sucker like in that _Avengers_ movie, heh. I bet Admiral Rickover would let me do it too! If he was alive, I mean. Hey, that flattop is decommissioned now! Nobody will miss it. I'll just sneak inside with Banpei, we'll do the mods, then fly it out from Norfolk Naval Base, and voilà, we got ourselves an air-mobile defense platform! Whaddya think? Cool, huh?"

"Skuld, just stop."

"But it would be so cool!"

"I said stop! Stand at attention, Private!"

"Yes ma'am!"

"Private, you will go back and return those weapon systems right now!"

"Aawww.. we need those."

"Right now!"

"Yes ma'am.."

She sulked away outside.

Sometimes you just gotta put down your foot with your subordinates.


	16. Chapter 16: Marller Gets Caught

**Chapter 16: Marller Gets Caught**

Peorth declared, "I am leaving, mon ami."

I was startled, "Wait, so soon?"

"Oui, I have an important case in Britain that I must attend to immediately. There is a royal personage who is being unfaithful. It is a regrettable affaires de coeur."

"The royal family again?"

"Sadly, yes."

"So who is doing the cheating this time?" Hey, this might save me some money the next time I go to the grocery checkout counter. I wouldn't have to buy the newspaper tabloid.

All the antics that went on within the royal family kept Peorth pretty busy, and Hollywood was even worse. She said it was like a full-time job. "I cannot reveal the name of the offending party. Oh, it is neither William nor Kate. It is another. And it is happening yet again, sigh. I must go to save another marriage, if I can."

"But I still need you! I need more training!"

"Non. You now know everything you need to learn from me about the third kind of love."

"Wait! What about the wasps and the fishes?"

She smiled, "I think you mean the birds and the bees, mon ami."

"Uh, yeah."

"You will learn that yourself."

"What? Hey! I need to learn this stuff! You promised you would teach me!"

"Non. You must learn the physical acts of love on your own. You are innocent and pure, both you and Keiichi. That will make it very special, make it magical. You will learn about your bodies together. That has been happening to every man and woman since the beginning of time, and so you will be able to do as well. I am _certainement_. I have faith in you, mon ami. In both of you."

"But I'm still too dangerous! I'll kill him if I lose control for even one second!"

She looked down. "In your current state, oui, that is very possible. It is regrettable."

Argh!

You see, while I was in boot camp she had explained to me that something would happen physically to my body as my endorphins cascaded in my brain. She said it would be due to the physical stimulation of certain nerve endings on my body (she didn't say where) that would build up an intense neural feedback loop, and that during the climax I would have some kind of pleasurable epileptic fit. She said when that happens that I would lose control of my body for a few seconds. She advised me to not be afraid, that it was purely natural, a god-given gift to our bodies. She told me to just enjoy it.

Wow, that sounded a lot like what the death ecstasy must feel like, so I was actually kinda looking forward to it. It sounded like a wonderful experience. A god-given gift, hmm.

I wasn't afraid of that. No, what really frightened me was the idea what might happen to poor Keiichi when I had my epileptic fit. You see, my having a fit while I was in his arms could be absolutely fatal to him. With my combat strength and reflexes I would almost certainly crush or kill him in that uncontrolled bodily state.

"But.. but.. this isn't going to work! I'll end up hurting or killing him!"

She held my hand softly, "When the time comes, you will know what to do."

Dang it, she sounds just like Belldandy. Phooey.

Why is that? She knows this isn't going to work. What is going on? Why all this maneuvering to bring us together when there is no way our _eros_ relationship could be consummated, or even started for that matter? I mean, why bother to unlock my _eros_ at all if I couldn't use it?

This will be just be pure torture for me. Pure torture.

Wait, is that my punishment? From Tyr? To look at Keiichi with longing but literally never be able to touch him? To dangle Keiichi in front of my eyes, just out of my reach, as a sort of tease? That might be it. He was really PO'ed for what I had done. This might be my actual punishment, to really spank me hard and make me learn my lesson about violating his rules. That might be it.

I started to feel morose.

Peorth gave me a pleasant smile. "Please send my regards to Belldandy. And remember, she is still very much your teacher regarding the fifth kind of love. She is very special to me, that one. Please say goodbye to her for me."

"I will."

I held her hands in my own for several moments and got teary. Then I gave her a big goodbye hug and held it. She kissed me on the cheek. Our _phillia_ was running at 100%.

I even sensed a little bit of _agape_ inside her too. Well waddaya know. I keep underestimating that Frenchwoman.

"Au revoir!"

I waved goodbye outside as she levitated into the white fluffy clouds.

I never saw my good friend ever again. At least not in this level of reality.

* * *

Something was happening to me. I was changing. My personality. I actually _had_ a personality. I was no longer an abstraction like most first class goddesses.

Soon I would become sisterly and motherly with Skuld, a girlfriend to Keiichi, and friends with Chihiro and the gang at Nekomi. (Well, not all of them, heh.) I was becoming a person.

I was becoming normal.

I liked it. A lot.

I just wish I had more time.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell Keiichi about the time limit in our relationship. Nobody was sure when the crisis will hit, when Belldandy and I will need to go charging off to our doom. It could be tomorrow. It could be 20 years from now. Nobody knew.

But my gut instinct told me it would be sooner rather than later. I guessed that Keiichi and I had maybe a year, tops, if we were lucky.

Yeah, he needed to know. I needed to tell him. But I wanted to confirm my decision with Belldandy first.

So I knocked on the door inside of Keiichi's mind, and I told Belldandy that it was safe for her to come out. She had always locked herself behind the firewall whenever I was training with Peorth in my _eros_ boot camp, or whenever I was doing the mental exercises that Peorth assigned me.

I asked Belldandy if I should tell Keiichi about the time limit. She was noncommittal. She told me that I had to make the decision myself. I asked for her recommendation. She said she thought it would be best to wait a bit until level three got going. Otherwise it would be forced, and that always messes up level three. Forced or premature sexual relations never work, and they can backfire badly on a growing relationship, and even destroy it.

But I explained to her, yet again, that such a relationship was going to be impossible. She knows that. But dang it, she said it again, "You will know what do to."

Argh! Why does everyone keep telling me that! I don't know what to do! That's why I keep asking everybody for help, dang it!

Now I was feeling outright melancholy.

* * *

The next day our Fortress of Doom had captured its first attacker.

It happened while I was busy cleaning up the kitchen after breakfast. Keiichi had successfully eaten my home-cooked meal of scrambled eggs. It was my first cooking success. Yay! I felt so giddy I thought I was floating.

Keiichi knew that I had worked so hard, day after day, egg carton after egg carton, to get to this point. So as I was busy wiping up the table - and this time wearing a T-shirt - he leaned over from his side of the table to gently touch my hand in a gesture of thanks. He looked me right in the eyes and said a deep and sincere thank you. I froze, then I admonished him for violating our mutual no-touch rule, that it was really dangerous for him to do that. He just smiled. I started to get angry, too angry. I think it must have been the hormones. Dang it, I'm scaring him again.. sigh.

But apparently I didn't actually scare him. He simply looked down, then he hesitated, as if he was getting ready to say something. Then he looked down at his hand. He then smiled wanly at me, looked away, and left.

That touch was his way of saying thanks. That man is so wonderful. After he left the kitchen, I held my hand up and looked at it, trying to burn into my mind the memory of his touch.

I heard him drive off on his motorbike for his morning classes. Meanwhile I cleaned and put away the utensils and the teflon pan. A couple days earlier I had bought that pan used, my fourth, from a flea market.

About ten minutes later, as I was getting ready to leave the kitchen to go work on laundry, I heard it outside. The hidden Klipsch RVX-54 ultra-loud speakers suddenly exploded into sound, triggered by the C^3 alert defense subsystem:

_You ain't nothin' but a hound dog_

_Cryin' all the time_

_You ain't nothin but a hound dog_

_Cryin' all the time_

_You ain't never caught a rabbit and you ain't no friend of miiiiiine!_

I broke out into a wide grin. I untied my apron and tossed it to the floor and ran outside.

Skuld had already beaten me to the trap enclosure. She was wearing her WWII helmet and had a candy cigarette drooping from her lip. Wait, is that a 5 o'clock shadow painted on her face?

She was lording over our captured prey, pointing a toy M1 Garand rifle at our victim. Well, at least I hoped it was a toy...

It didn't matter. I got really angry. I think it was because I was still kinda flustered after Keiichi's touch. "Hey! Weapon safety! Point that thing away! And get your freaking hand off the trigger!

That stupid girl was violating almost every single rule for gun safety. I forgot to train her, dang it.

Skuld kept pointing the gun at our victim. "Aw c'mon, Lind, it's only Marller. It's not like this gun can actually hurt her or anything."

Yeah, I was feeling pretty pissy. "It doesn't matter! Always assume that every weapon is loaded, even prop a gun, or an empty gun. Point the barrel away and down, towards the ground. And for goodness sakes, keep your finger outside of the trigger guard! Point your finger forward, along the outside!"

She sullenly complied and pointed the weapon at the ground, "Aye aye, captain air marshal ma'am sir."

"That's better." I relaxed and made a small smile, "Skuld, I'm really sorry for snapping at you like that. My fault. I haven't trained you in weapon safety yet. I'm just feeling a little cranky today, sorry."

She beamed again, "That's okay. Because looky what we got here! Ha ha!"

Marller was hog-tied and squirming to no avail. "Ack! Keep that psycho bomb throwing nutjob away from me!"

I crossed my arms and grinned, "My, my, if it isn't my dear old friend Marller. I haven't had you in my clutches for a while. How's life Downstairs treating you?"

She ignored my question. "Hey, just let me go. I wasn't doing anything! Honest!"

"Try that again."

"Ok, I confess. I just was doing some scouting. No harm in it."

"Checking out our defensive perimeter, no doubt."

"Look, everybody is curious about your crazy earthworks project, about what you and Skuld are really up to. Nobody trusts you, Lind. They think you're prepping some major new op against us Downstairs. The rumors say that you two are trying to build some kind of crazy doomsday weapon. Against us."

"So what if I am, hmm?"

"Because! It upsets the balance! You've already made a mess of things! I mean, good grief, you got Hild and Belldandy killed!"

Those words hurt. Wait, was she doing a mind job on me? Trying to ply me with guilt because Belldandy died and not me?

No, Marller's not that smart.

I frowned at her. "Hey, that fiasco was the fault of your power-hungry boss, not me." And it _was_ Hild's fault. Hild was a-gunning for Tyr. Talk about upsetting the balance. I mean, that crazy bitch almost kicked off Ragnarök!

I went on, "It wasn't me. It was Hild's fault that they died. She brought it upon herself. She shouldn't have tried to hit Tyr and replace him with Belldandy. That bitch boss of yours is absolutely insane with her lust for power. She's the crazy one, not me."

"Pot, kettle."

"Very funny. So who sent you? Urd? I have a hard time believing that."

"I'm not talking."

I nodded to Skuld. She pulled a lever and dozens of good luck charms dropped on Marller's hog-tied body. They were covered in sticky honey. I was just getting ready to order Skuld to open up the fire ant portal when Marller gave up. "Okay! Okay! It was Hagall. Happy now?"

Wait, Hagall? That whack job hates Hild. What?

Hmm. Ok, I understood the situation. "I see. So you switched to work for Hagall now that your boss got retired. You're worthless, Marller. You should have stuck with her daughter. Urd would have given you a good letter of recommendation to your next permanent boss."

"Which will be Hagall, you idiot."

I didn't know that. "Oh. Is that all approved now? Has the paperwork gone through?"

"Nothing is decided yet. Urd has her own replacement in mind. There's some heavy politicking and intrigue going on Downstairs right now."

Marller didn't know who Urd's champion was, but I had some guesses. But Hagall? Yuck, she's nasty, even more psychotic than Hild. I hoped that Urd succeeded in making a good, safe, transition to someone more reliable and predictable.

But Hagall.. brrr. She's scary. Those mind control powers of hers. I was becoming very worried for Urd's safety. This did not sound good at all. Hagall was as formidable as they come.

Hmm, you know, I ought to try to help Urd out somehow. I was the only operative who ever successfully infiltrated Niflheim and lived to tell about it. The hyperspace portal that my gals had secretly drilled into that place during our last major team offensive was still down there, hidden. I don't think they ever found that door.

Hmm. I got an idea. And I needed to go Downstairs anyway to borrow a certain magical item if we wanted to power the superlaser. Might as well kill two birds with one stone... Still, it would be dangerous. I'm used to that. But Skuld..?

While I was standing there in my silent reverie, Skuld lightly poked my back with the butt of her rifle. Marller was still loudly complaining but I was ignoring her. Instead I turned around to see whatever it was that Skuld wanted me to take a look at. She silently handed me a smart tablet with a video playing on it. It was showing some previously recorded camera footage taken from HD Cam 57-C. On the video I could see Marller sneaking up to the outside window and watching Keiichi eat the delicious scrambled egg breakfast that I prepared for him.

I will still feeling pretty pissy. I shoved the video recording in front of Marller's face. "You were just doing recon on little old me, huh, Marller? So why were you so busy watching Keiichi then? Answer that!"

She was sweating. "Uh... well... uh..."

"Skuld, open the hatch and let the fire ants in."

Marller panicked. "No! I won't talk! Never!"

"You will! Why were you spying on Keiichi? Answer me! How are you going to attack him this time?"

"I'm not talking!"

"Tell me, dang it! What's the attack plan? How are you going to hit him. When? Where? I bet it won't be here at the fortress - you now realize that we're too well defended. Aha! I bet it's at the college! You're going to hit him there! Am I right? Am I right? At the college. I'm right, aren't I? Talk!"

"Never!"

"Fine."

We left Marller alone, still hog-tied in the enclosure. The rules said that we had to release a captured prisoner within 24 hours, unless they had violated the rules themselves. Regrettably she didn't. So I ordered Private 1st Class Specialist Skuld to release her in 23.5 hours. And kick her. I got an enthusiastic "Yes ma'am!"

The 24-hour rule was for Earth. On the other hand, the rules said that an infiltrator or spy caught in enemy territory, such a demon caught inside Valhalla, or a goddess caught inside Niflheim, could be killed on sight. That was why such ops were always considered extremely dangerous. That is, unless you somehow managed to extort a golden Safe Transit Pass from the leader of that realm. There were also some other exceptions that allowed safe passage, such as attending a funeral.

The fire ants began their honey feast. Meanwhile I went back inside.

I had work to do.

* * *

I picked up handset of the rotary telephone in the main hall and placed a call to Upstairs.

Hello. Switchboard please? Thank you. Can you please connect me through to the Fighting Wings Central Command, extension 001? Yes, Celebine. This is Lind.

Wait, what? There is a message already waiting for me? What is the message? From the Big Guy? Uh-oh, what does he want from me this time? Is it another job? Dang it, I told him I resigned already! No more jobs! Wait, huh? What is the message then?

The Yggdrasil switchboard operator told me.

The message from the Big Guy was just three words:_ Judgement Gate waived_.

Sigh.

I knew what that message meant.

It meant that Keiichi and I had less than nine months left.

* * *

I explained the situation to Celebine. I was planning on calling in some favors, but she just stopped my prepared speech and told me to not worry about it. She said that as far as she's concerned I was still her boss, her Air Marshal. I again reminded her that I was now permanently retired, that I no longer had any authority over her, and that she was in command now. She said don't worry about it, just tell me what you need, and you'll get it, no questions asked.

So I told her what I needed, then I thanked her profusely. She said, "No sweat, Lind, you saved my life at least a dozen times in combat. We all owe you in the Fighting Wings. Everybody." Then I thanked her again and hung up. My gals are the best.

Skuld and I still needed that superlaser power source - I wasn't going to take any chances with regards to Keiichi's safety. So I picked up the phone for a second time and called Megumi. I told her that Skuld and I were leaving on a short trip, and I asked if she could keep an eye on Keiichi at the temple whenever she had time. She said she'd be delighted.

Thirty minutes later I got a phone call from Fighting Wings Central Command. It was Chrono. She told me the security detail and the CAP were now in place. Good.

I was worried about Urd, so I asked Chrono if the Fighting Wings Intelligence Branch had received any more intelligence reports from our mole inside Niflheim. Officially I was no longer allowed to receive classified intelligence reports, being retired and all, but she told me anyway. She said they received only a three word message: 'Emperor Londo Mollari', and a second message with a single word: 'Sake'. Huh? What the heck did that mean? Sake was some kind of booze, wasn't it?

Emperor Londo Mollari? Sake? What kind of useless intel was that?

* * *

I opened up null space and sifted through my clothes rack: 49 combat uniforms (the 50th one got scorched and wrecked when those imperial twits fired that superlaser at me), one bathing suit, and one gym/training outfit.

I glanced at the bathing suit, a two-piece pink and mauve number with a halter top. That thing was ridiculously risqué, obscene even. Peorth had picked it out for me. I couldn't believe that women actually dressed like this. Exposing _that _out in public? I mean, good grief. They let children actually see that? Hoo boy. Why not just walk around totally nude then, huh? What's the point of wearing anything if you strut around showing _that_ in public?

I grabbed the first combat uniform on the rack and put it on. I didn't realize how much I missed wearing one.

I then briefed Skuld on our first real op together. A serious one. A deadly one. I told her the mission had two primary objectives: First, contact Urd to see if she's okay or needs any help. Second, find the demon power source crystal and steal it. She said she was ready. And she really wanted to see her sister again. I promoted her honorary rank from Private to Lieutenant. I then dropped the rank stuff and frankly warned her that this time it was for real, and there was a distinct possibility we might get killed.

This was going to be a dangerous op. I explained to her that she didn't have to come with me on the mission, that I could do it alone, and that in fact maybe she shouldn't come along at all. But I also told her that if she did come along, she would be my sister in arms, fighting with me side by side with me. For real.

She didn't hesitate. She insisted on coming with me. And she wanted to see Urd. That girl had so such spunk. I loved her so much. I told her that it was my honor for her to volunteer to fight alongside me like this. That was the highest compliment that I ever gave to, well, anyone really. She absolutely beamed at me. And for the first time I noticed that her grin seemed a tiny bit nasty, kind of like my own.

And so, with all our plans carefully completed, Skuld and I were ready to invade Hell.


	17. Chapter 17: Confessions on a Park Bench

**A/N:**

This chapter foreshadows the final four chapters a bit. I didn't originally plan it this way, but whenever Mrs. K appears in my stories she kind of, well, takes over. You'll understand as you read this chapter. (She won't appear again anywhere else in this story.)

* * *

**Chapter 17: Confessions on a Park Bench**

Skuld and I were ready to execute the operation. I granted Skuld the courtesy of naming the mission. I admit that the name that she choose for the op was not particularly creative: Operation Go To Hell. Oh well, it was her first, so I let it slide.

I made the phone call Upstairs to have them re-activate and power up the secret backdoor hyperspace portal into Niflheim. Then Skuld and I flew straight up to 100km altitude, near the Japan Gate. We waited for it to open and connect directly into the hyperspace portal.

Then it would send us straight to Hell.

We waited.

Nothing was happening.

Skuld started getting antsy.

More waiting.

Nothing.

I finally yelled for the gate to appear, "Yoo hoo! Gate! We're waiting to go to Hell here!"

The gate appeared as the short blond girl again.

"Hi Lind. I'm sorry, it's powered up, but I detect no actual connection on the far side of the tunnel. It looks like the bad guys found your little backdoor and shut it down, permanently. Lind, I'm sorry."

The gate disappeared again.

"Drat!"

We flew back home. What a letdown.

* * *

I grabbed the phone and yelled at Chrono, "Hey, the tunnel was down! Those bastards found it! You stupid girl, you should have checked the tunnel's status before you sent us up to the gate!"

"Hey, don't yell at me, Lind_. _You aren't my boss anymore. And it's not my fault. That tunnel was open and operating as recently as 60 minutes ago. Somebody or something suddenly closed it on their end. No idea why."

Argh! "Can you re-drill? It's important."

"Sure. I helped design it, remember? Hmm, it looks like approximately 95% of the tunnel on this end is still intact. That's good. All we gotta do is go back inside from our end and re-drill the remaining 5% and carve out a new doorway in another spatial location Downstairs."

"Can you start on that now? Do it stat."

"Boy you sure like to boss me around when you have no authority. But don't worry. I'm sure Celebine will rubberstamp it for you. A re-drill will probably take something like a few days, maybe a week at the outside. It won't be long. I'll supervise it myself."

Yay Chrono! "I love you so much, I could kiss you!"

There was a pause.

"Uh, really? I didn't know you swung yuri."

Huh?

"So, uh, Lind, do you have any other, uh, girlfriends right now? I'm getting nervous... I've had fantasies.. oops, I shouldn't have said that! Gah, I'm sooooo embarrassed right now! Can I start this conversation over again? Please?"

"Uh, no you may not."

"Darn it! I always flub the first line! I mean, it's okay to ask you out, right? I mean, you're not my superior officer anymore..."

Sigh. "I said no."

"I'm sooo sorry! Please don't tell Celebine! Forget I said anything! I'm sorry! Oh no, this is getting really awkward..."

I did a mental facepalm. "Hey, don't worry about it, okay? I've already forgotten about it. You're a great 2nd star. You got spunk. All you have to do is keep working hard, and try not to get yourself incinerated, or blasted into atoms, or impaled through the heart, or your head decapitated, or your bowels ripped out, or your torso flattened to a pancake, or your body dissolved in acid, or ..."

This went on for a bit.

"... or turned into pink goo. Do all that and I'm certain you will get that 3rd star in no time, okay?

"Okay! Lind you're so wonderful!"

"Thanks. Fine. Hang in there. And please give all the gals Upstairs my sincerest thanks. And please, please, have someone phone me the moment that tunnel is reconnected, okay?"

"Sure thing. Bye!"

Sigh.

* * *

It appeared that Skuld and I were going to be spinning our wheels for up to a week. We had to wait until the drill could re-establish a new connection to Downstairs. So the next morning I decided that I would ride into town with Keiichi and inspect Celebine's campus-side security detail and CAP.

Meanwhile, Skuld went to work on pouring out the concrete pads for the eight superlaser platforms. She also had to solve the cooling problem and fix some of the other technical issues that she and I had identified previously before we could test fire our awesome point defense superlaser system for the first time. One issue was particularly difficult, but Skuld told me she was already working on a way around the problem.

I gave her permission to get the whole thing fully operational, up to, but not including, inserting the final demon power crystal. For that last piece of the puzzle we would need to go Downstairs and execute our op to steal it.

* * *

That morning after breakfast (which Keiichi told me was wonderful, by the way, and thank you very much), Keiichi offered to give me a ride in the side car of his motorcycle.

"What? I'm not riding in that stupid side car. It looks dorky."

"Where do you want to ride then?"

"I'll hold your back." His lovely back.. mmm...

"Uh, what about our strict no-touch rule?"

"Gah. That's right." Phooey!

So I sat in the stupid side car, with a helmet on. I looked like a total dork.

Blah. I swear, if I ever figure out how to solve my stupid twitch-and-splat problem I'll definitely be riding his motorcycle while holding his lovely back. And that's a promise.

Anyway, he and I arrived for the very first time together on the campus of the Nekomi Institute of Technology (NIT).

We walked the three blocks to his first class. The quad was fairly busy and crowded with people. I escorted Keiichi personally. The sun was shining brightly on a fairly chillly day. I was wearing my Linda Hamilton commando outfit: Cap, tight tank top, dungarees, and sunglasses.

Apparently I was attracting attention. A lot. I wondered why. Later Megumi explained that I was attracting eyeballs because the cold weather had made a certain pair of items on my anatomy kind of, uh, prominent. It was attracting looks. She later said to fix it I needed to wear something called a 'bra'. Why?

Anyway, I was getting a lot of stares and whispers. I ignored it. I was used to it. This was not the first time that the local natives had stared in awe at a first class combat Valkyrie dropping in and strutting confidently into their midst while on a mission from Heaven. The local idiots should just be thankful that I wasn't wielding my halberd or putting on my game face.

Apparently this sort of thing must have happened to Keiichi before as well. He wasn't put off by all the stares either. In fact I think he kind of enjoyed it. He strutted along with me. He let the gawkers stare at me as we walked on by. He whispered to me, "Ignore 'em. I'm used to it. This is the only time I get any respect around here. Thank you."

Hey, it was the least I could do. I made my man happy, so I was feeling happy. And it was a lovely sunny day, if a bit chilly. We walked towards the classroom building.

Then.. yeah.. we ran right into Sayoko Mishima.

You just knew that was going to happen.

She was proud and tall, thin, with long raven hair, wearing an expensive looking fluffy blouse and a stylish brown jacket. She had a small entourage following her.

So that was the famous campus queen. My security patrol had already spotted her a few minutes prior, and I got a quick sit-rep from Celebine through the telepathic link. I was ready.

She was walking our way. I could tell that she was getting ready to unspool some spiel at us.

Now, one of the important rules in the Fighting Wings War Manual was, _Always take the initiative. Make the enemy react instead of act._ So I did just that.

I took the initiative and spoke first, "Good morning, Sayoko! Lovely day, isn't it?"

That threw her off totally. She stopped and stared at me. Then she just harumped and walked away. Mission accomplished.

Keiichi said to me, "What's gotten into her?"

I shrugged "Dunno."

"Oh well."

Lah dee dah. I started to whistle a silly tune. This was fun.

Keiichi went to class. I declined to join him inside. I knew that Celebine already had two operatives sitting the classroom, so I knew he was well protected.

I did not want to sit in that classroom, or any classroom for that matter. It brought back too many horrible childhood memories for me. I had long ago promised myself that I would never, ever, sit in a classroom again. Never. Again. I didn't tell Keiichi that, or why. Instead I waited alone outside on a park bench.

* * *

I had about two hours to kill until lunch. While sitting on the park bench I noticed Sayoko Mishima again. She came out of another building, and this time she had only one escort, a large rather muscular man. They were arguing with each other. From what I could hear it looked like he was some kind of boyfriend, and they were about to break up. I heard swear words. Then she slapped him.

Now, while this was all going on, an older lady had quietly sat down on the park bench next to me. She was sitting alongside me, rather close, watching the drama unfold just across the quad.

I saw Sayoko scream an epithet at the guy.

Then the old lady said aloud to no one in particular, "It is a pity that such a beautiful girl cannot find love."

Huh?

Then she leaned over to me conspiratorally, "That lovely girl. She's so beautiful. And yet she is totally alone. I don't think she has a single friend in the entire world. She gets drunk in bars to hide her loneliness, then she sleeps with random men. That is very sad, don't you think?"

Okay, that got my attention. I telepathically asked Celebine for a dossier on this mysterious older woman. Nothing.

I said something random. "Uh, yeah, it must be very sad."

"Oh, I know. Very sad. She just does not understand what love really is."

Then she introduced herself. Her name was Mrs. Kurosawa. She told me she was waiting for daughter, Akira, to get out of her class to join her mother so they could go out for lunch at a nearby diner.

I looked at her, then I squinted. She had an unusual aura. Hmm.

You see, all people emit a colored aura that goddesses like myself can view if we concentrate and look for it. The color combination and intensity of the aura allows us to quickly identify certain character and personality traits.

This woman's aura was strongly blue. Almost neon blue. I had never seen anything like it before.

I was kind of staring at her. Oops.

She said, "And your name is..?" Dang it, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm still not used to human customs.

"Oh, I am so very sorry, please forgive my bad manners. My name is Lind."

"I am very pleased to meet you, Lind. My, you look like a remarkable young lady."

"Uh, thank you."

She was silent. We continued to watch the break up across the quad. Sayoko was stomping away. The guy looked dumbfounded.

I had to ask her.

"So what is it?"

"Hmm?"

"What is love really?"

She turned and smiled at me. "Look at her. Across the quad. She has wealth, power, prestige, beauty, youth, a famous name, a famous family, a heritage. And yet she knows she has nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing."

"You aren't answering my question..."

"You will soon know, I think."

"Excuse me?"

"If I am not mistaken, you are waiting for someone also, am I right?"

"Yes, I am."

"Do you love him?"

"Uh, what?"

"It's a simple question. Do you love him?"

What was going on? Were some humans telepathic or something? Gah, nobody briefed me on that! I assumed it must be so, so I went along.

"Yes, I think I do."

"Then you will know."

What? Now I'm getting the same useless advice from a total stranger that I was already getting from Belldandy and Peorth! What was going on?

She got up to leave. Then she turned and said, "When you reach the apex, remember to put out your hand."

I just stared at her and sat there like a doofus. She smiled and left.

Who the heck was that?

* * *

Keiichi finally got out of class. He brought his KFC box lunch out to eat with me. The lunch hour had started, so he decided to sit with me on the park bench and eat it there. I told him I wasn't hungry, but I was more than happy to keep him company. More than happy.

We gabbed for a bit. Then, inevitably, that one topic came up, as it always did. This time I started that topic.

"You still miss her, don't you."

"Yeah, I do."

"She was something else."

"Yeah, she was."

There was a pause.

He said, "Uh, Lind? Can I ask you question?"

"Anything."

"Do you think she's coming back?"

"Honestly.. I don't know. I don't think so. She's incorporeal. You saw that."

"Sigh, I did. I guess what she told me was true, then."

"Hmm?"

"She told me the same thing. I won't see her again until the other side."

"I'm really sorry."

"It's okay."

"Well, at least you now have something to look forward too, right?"

"Yeah. I guess.."

I tried to change the subject. "What's that book in your hand?"

"Calculus II"

"Hard class?"

"Yeah. Say, Lind, you think you can help me with some of these math problems?"

I looked down. "Uh, no, sorry. I'm not an egghead."

"That's okay. Neither am I."

Sigh. "That's not what I meant." I looked around quickly. "Ok, look, don't tell anyone this. Only Peorth knows this secret."

"What?"

"I never finished the equivalent of your high school. I'm basically a high school dropout."

"You're kidding."

"Yeah. Honest truth. I'm un-edu-mah-cated."

"No you're not."

I gave a small chuckle and looked down. "Ok, you caught me. I'm exaggerating."

I explained to him that I basically went straight into the military and never looked back. And there I picked up a whole lot of really useful skills: hand-to-hand combat, tactics, strategy, infiltration, intelligence gathering, weapons, heaven/hell rule systems, lots of useful knowledge. But before I joined up I was a totally aimless dropout. In the military I learned a lot. A whole lot. It totally changed my life.

He said, "Wow. You have such a great purpose. And it's so important."

"That's so wonderful for you to say that to me, Keiichi! How nice of you! Wow. You really know how to flatter a girl. Keep this up and I'll ask you out on a date or something."

Oops. I was getting too comfortable chatting with him, and I stepped right in the doo-doo. "Uh, whoops, nevermind, heh. Pretend I never said that. Sorry."

Should I start whistling? Argh, of course not. Dang it! I was getting as bad as Chrono!

Keiichi fidgeted.

I quickly tried to save the situation. "That was just a figure of speech. Don't read anything into it. I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize."

"Well, I will anyway."

"That's ok, really."

I kept things moving. "So anyway, uh, yeah, back before I joined the military I was pretty aimless. Drifting."

He seemed relieved at the change of topic. "Yeah, I feel that way too sometimes."

"Uh, really?"

"Yeah. I feel kinda aimless too. I don't know what I want to do with my life. At least you have a mission, and you love doing it."

"I guess. Yeah, I do."

"You're so lucky."

"Well, the military is my life. It's a dangerous job, but it's really fun too. And yeah I really do love it. I was literally born for it, you know. That helps."

He grinned. "It must be nice to have such a well-defined purpose like that."

"Yeah. It really is."

"I wish I had that. A purpose."

"Hmm?"

"Well, I'm good at repairing and racing motorcycles, and I like doing that. But that's basically my only real skill set and my only hobby. I do like my part-time job at Whirlwind, with Chihiro and all. It's fun, and I'm learning more stuff about motorcycle and small engine repair, but then I think, is that all that I am? Is there nothing more? That's it?"

"I disagree. I think you have an amazing future ahead of you."

"How do you know that? Some kind heavenly future prediction?"

"Nope. Call it a gut feeling." I patted my belly. "And we goddesses are known for our guts!"

We both laughed at that one.

Then he looked at me again, "So you hated school?"

"Uh, yeah.."

"Why?"

Now it was my turn to fidget. "Keiichi, I don't want to talk about it. Is that okay? It wasn't a good time in my life. It's a personal thing."

"Oh, uh, sure, of course. I'm sorry I brought it up."

I made a small grin, "You don't have to apologize. Especially not to me."

"I will anyway. You'll just have to try to stop me."

I chuckled again. "I don't think any force in heaven or hell can do that, Keiichi."

There was an awkward silence. Then he said, "This is nice. Talking like this. Just the two of us."

"Yeah."

More awkward silence.

I blurted, "I don't have a purpose anymore. At least one I understand."

"Oooh.. I didn't think of that."

Lind, what are you saying? "I'm as aimless and confused as you are right now." Lind, shut up already!

Really awkward silence. Hoo boy.

The clock tower chimed.

He stood up. "Uh, lunch break is about over. I need to get back to class."

The whole time he was sitting too close, violating the no-touch safety zone. He didn't seem to care.

I didn't either. I was no danger to him at all. I was so relaxed I could have melted.

"Ok, bye Keiichi."

"Bye."

He paused.

"Say, Lind?"

"Hmm?"

"This was a nice conversation."

"Yeah. We should do it more often."

"Yeah. A lot more. Let's make it a regular thing, okay?"

"Sure. I'd love it."

"Deal. See you later."

He went back inside.

I did a quick mental check with the security detail and the CAP. All green.

Then I just sat on that park bench alone, and daydreamed.

* * *

An hour had passed.

I was still sitting there alone on the park bench, lost in my daydream.

You will never guess who simply plopped down on that park bench, and sat right next to me.

* * *

**A/N:**

That old woman, she kills me. I can't stand it. You think I'm kidding? Her sheer power.

The story is going to take a dark turn for a few chapters. This is the traditional low point in the narrative that always happens in the 3rd act (Luke is flying his X-wing all alone, Frodo can't walk up Mount Doom any further), all happening just before the big rally ("Let's blow this thing kid and go home!", "I can't carry the Ring for the Frodo, but I can carry you!"). So please hang in there.

-HuuskerDu


	18. Chapter 18: The One Wing Angel

**Chapter 18: The One Wing Angel**

Sora Hasegawa plopped down on the park bench and sat right next to me. She was a small and somewhat mousey girl who was a member of the Auto Club. I then asked Celebine for, and quickly got, the dossier on her. Apparently she was running the Auto Club now as its president, so she must have some leadership abilities. Although based on the unimpressive sight that I was looking at right then, I confess I did not see those qualities in her.

She came straight to the point. "So you are another one of Keiichi's girlfriends, huh?"

"Uh, yeah, kind of."

"How does he do it? It's like he is surrounded by nothing but gorgeous hot 22-year old supermodels."

I shrugged, "Dunno. He just seems to attract them." I smiled. "He's a very likable guy, you know."

She sulked. "Tell me about it. I can't even get Toshiyuki Aoshima to give me the time of day."

I got the dossier on Aoshima. Egads, he's a total scumbag.

I looked at her, "You can do better than him, you know."

"Can I?"

"Oh yeah. Just keep on trying. You'll find what you are looking for eventually. I promise."

"Harumph. A dorky girl like me? Fat chance."

"Hey, I'm just as dorky as you are."

"Yeah, right, miss perky tits. Don't insult me." She got up and left.

Sheesh, what's gotten into her?

* * *

The next day I checked with Skuld to see how she was doing getting our superlaser point defense system fully operational.

"Lind, I almost have it ready. I had a little trouble with one problem in particular."

"Which one? The cooling?"

"Naw, I unspooled some Niven superconductor cloth and ran it down to the river. It's a good thing that river was close by. The moving water should soak up the waste heat post-firing pretty well. It will blow kilotons of steam into the air, but at least we have our coolant now. I checked the wind patterns and it should dissipate safely without scalding half the town."

"Uh, good. What's the other problem, then?"

"The problem is the beam junction, you know, at the apex of the firing cone, where the eight beams meet at a point."

"Okay, so?"

"The idiots who designed this superlaser don't know jack about the Pauli exclusion principle. What a bunch of morons."

My lack of education was showing itself. "Can you translate that for me, please?"

"Sure thing. The Pauli exclusion principle is the idea that there is no limit to the number of photons that can occupy the same quantum state or the same position in spacetime. That is an over-simplification, I mean, for starters it works for all bosons, not just photons, but that's basically it, more or less."

"No limit."

"Yeah, there's no limit. You can cram in as many photons into as tight a space as you want, and there's always room to jam in some more. They don't interact. No limit."

"No limit. Well that's why this superlaser fires photons and not, say a plasma, right? 'No limit' is basically the whole idea of the exercise, right?"

"Right. Hey, you're pretty smart. The Pauli exclusion principle means that the photons never interact with each other, not directly. They literally can't collide. The photons from the eight laser generators will just pass right through each other at the apex of the cone. They can't cancel out their momentum, merge, and fire one big shared beam out in a straight line from the apex. Photons just don't work that way."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I'm afraid I gotta use some Applied Phlebotium. I really don't like to do that. It's such a kludge."

"Applied Phlebotium?"

"Yeah. It's this glowing stuff in my bag here. See it? It works like magic!"

"Like magic?"

"Yeah, like magic! I just have to rub some on the apex focuser and voilà, the Pauli exclusion principle is violated for bosons! Neat, huh?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess.. but isn't that just cheating?"

"Hey, don't ask me. Ask the idiots who designed this thing. Stupid imperial retards. It could never work the way they designed it. Who was their scientific advisor on this project, Daffy Duck or something?"

"Okay, well, uh, good job. Carry on."

"Will do. Don't forget we still need to swipe that demon power crystal. That's the last thing."

"Soon. I still haven't received the phone call yet. By the way, I wanted to talk to you about your combat uniform for this op. It's time you got one. A real one, I mean."

"I get my own official combat Valkyrie uniform? Cool!"

"Yeah, congratulations, Lieutenant." I explained it all to her and gave her the raw materials she needed out of my personal wardobe. Later that day she took the whole bundle all over to Megumi's place, where they did the fitting and sewing together.

She was right. We still needed to wait for the phone call. That call will send us straight to Hell. I checked with Chrono and she told me the hyperspace tunnel should have an opening established in about four days. I also had to decline another date invitation. Sigh.

* * *

Then I received the report that I so dreaded. A UFD was sighted flying over the college. Drat! I asked Celebine to double security, nay triple it. She did.

Meanwhile, Keiichi and I started to have our little pre-arranged extended conversations every single day, just the two of us.

There were no classes the next day, so we were at the park. The sun was just starting to set. Operation Go To Hell would commence tomorrow. I was feeling more morose than normal that day, partly because of the UFD sighting, and partly because I knew I might not be returning from that op.

I was feeling extra paranoid. So I re-re-checked the security detail and the CAP. All green so far. I was insisting on the alert level Ultra because of the UFD. We both sat together under a tree. "Uh, Lind?"

"Yeah?"

"Why is there a combat Valkyrie hiding inside that garbage can over there?"

"Uh, checking for people who aren't recycling their garbage, maybe?"

"Try again."

"Okay, sigh. See that white bird flying waaaay up there?" I pointed.

He squinted. "Barely."

{ Lind: Celebine, do a wing-waggle for me, will yah? I'm pointing you out to Keiichi down here. }

{ Celebine: I can do way better than that. }

Just then a small flash of light appeared in the sky, followed by a distant thunder-clap.

Keiichi was impressed, "Wow."

"It looks way cooler at night, trust me."

"So what's with all the extra security paranoia today? I don't really need any of this, you know."

"Yes you do! We sighted a UFD yesterday over the college."

"A UFD?"

"An Unidentified Flying Demon."

"Oh." Then he looked up an exclaimed, "Hey!"

Chrono was floating right over our heads, about 10 meters up. "Oh, tee hee. Just ignore little old me."

I got mad. "Chrono! Get out of here! Get back on station!"

She sulked, "Yes ma'am," and she hid back out of sight again.

Keiichi wasn't happy at all, "Lind, this is getting silly! I'm not the President of the United States, and you aren't the Secret Service!"

"But.. I have to protect you.. it's my job."

"I don't need all this protection. You know why?"

"Yes you do. And no, I don't."

"Because I have you, Lind. You are all the protection I will ever need. I have never felt safer. Thank you." He touched my hand.

I yanked my hand away violently, and my wrist hit the tree slightly. The tree almost fell over. I was really mad. "Keiichi! Don't startle me like that! You know about our strict no-touch rule! You can get killed!"

"Lind, just relax. What's gotten into you lately? You're nervous, twitchy, and your face looks desperately unhappy."

"I'm always unhappy. That's my normal facial expression and my normal emotional state. Ask Peorth."

He held my hand again. I gave up my objections. He said, "I know you well enough now. You're hiding something. You can never hide anything from me, you know that. I'm your friend. You know I love you. So please tell me the real reason. Don't you trust me?"

"I do.. but.."

"Well? Why all this security?"

Yeah, why was that, Lind. Answer yourself! "So.. so.. I can protect you."

"Sure. But why all the paranoia?"

"Because! Because I.. I.. I love you too much. I don't dare risk seeing you getting hurt, no matter how small the chance... It's because I can't bear the thought of losing you."

Keiichi looked at me with kind eyes. He wouldn't let go of my hand. "Hild isn't going to attack me. She's dead."

"It could be anybody! Marller, even Hagall! I gotta protect you! Look, I'm not being too paranoid. Honest. I know how those bitches think: Hild, Hagall, Marller. You can never underestimate them, never. The temple is too well defended now. If they attack you anywhere, it will be some place like right here in the park. And we saw the UFD, never forget that."

"Lind, I agree it would be unwise to underestimate any of them. And I know you won't. But don't you see? They would never attempt a direct attack on me like that, not now, not here. It would be stupid."

I was getting even more upset, "Well, what kind of attack, then?"

"Isn't it obvious? It would be a side attack, a sneak attack."

"On you?"

"No. Like I said, isn't it obvious? The sneak attack will be on _you_."

"I.. I.. hadn't thought of that."

"Hagall or whoever will try to co-opt you, get you to defect, turn you over to the dark side, like Anakin Skywalker being seduced to the dark side of the Force."

I was bitter. I took away my hand. "That will never happen to me. Never."

"Those sound like famous last words. You're distraught and emotional. That makes you vulnerable. I really care about you, Lind. You're my best friend in the whole world. Look, please, I want to help. I have no small experience in dealing with goddesses, you know." He made a small grin at me. He was trying to calm me down. That man is so wonderful.

"Look, Lind, are there any secrets in your childhood that the Enemy can exploit? Any weakness in your past? You know they will take advantage of anything."

That hit me. It was true. "Uh, yeah... I'd rather not talk about it."

"Don't you trust me?"

"I do. Implicitly."

"Then don't you think you'd better clue me in on how they might attack you? You can see why, yes?"

"Yeah.. sigh.."

"It will remain absolutely confidential. Our shared secret. Nobody else. I promise."

Nobody except for a certain 1st class goddess living in your head, Keiichi. Although I strongly doubted she was listening right now, if my feelings of _eros_ right now were any indication of what Keiichi must be feeling.

"Keiichi, let's start walking. I don't want the other Valkyries to listen in."

We walked over to the lake, about a mile away. The sun had now fully set and it was now evening. The moon was rising over the water. The water had a gentle ripple from the lightest breeze. It all felt so calm and peaceful.

And so there, standing, facing each other, in front of the rippling water, with the moon rising behind us, I told him the Truth.

I confessed that as a child I was hyper-dangerous even back then. So I was feared, hated, and mocked. All the other goddesses avoided me. I had absolutely no friends. I was absolutely alone.

"I understand completely."

"What?"

"I'm a loner too. In the past, before I met all you beautiful goddesses, I tried to ask out just about every girl on the Nekomi campus. And you know what? I got shot down 100%."

"Heh, you're a dork."

"Yeah."

"You're lucky I still think you're cute. I'm just kidding. You're wonderful. A wonderful, wonderful, man. All the goddesses believe that, by the way. I'm the lucky one."

"Now you're embarrassing me."

"It's true. I'm the dorkiest goddess in Heaven and I got the best guy. I can't believe it."

"You aren't a dork."

"Yes I am."

"No you aren't."

"Keiichi, I really am. Look, I have a confession to make. I've never told a mortal this, ever. Look at this." So I opened up null space and put on my heavy black-rimmed reading eyeglasses. "I'm farsighted. I can't read a thing without these eyeglasses. It's why I never read my mission briefs." Partly why.

"Great! I got the dorkiest goddess in Heaven!" We both laughed.

Then my laugh got bitter.

"Lind, what is it?"

"You don't know the half of it. I'm useless. Nobody respects me."

"But I already respect you. You don't have to prove anything, especially to me. I like you just the way you are."

"No you don't."

"Yes I do."

"I'm defective."

"What, just because you wear glasses?"

"YES! JUST BECAUSE I WEAR GLASSES!"

I scared him. He stepped back. Sigh. I scare everyone, even him. I'm worthless.

"Keiichi, don't you understand? You've seen more different goddesses than any mortal in human history. Tell me, what do they all look like?"

"They all look like hot 22 year-old supermodels.. with no physical imperfections whatsoever."

I nodded my head. "You're always so observant. And smart. Work it out. I'll wait."

"Oh man, I get it.. Oh Lind.. I'm so sorry.. So.. how were you not, uh.."

"Culled. Any goddess that is not perfect when born or decanted is immediately destroyed. There is no imperfection in Heaven, Keiichi. None. All imperfections are sterilized immediately."

His voice was quiet. "So how did you survive?"

"I don't know. I have no memory of my parents. It was possible that I was decanted, but I don't think so somehow. I feel like I had real parents, but I don't know who they are. I don't know why I know that, I just do. The point is, I'm defective, and yet they let me live somehow. It was wrong and they were punished, I think. I don't know for sure."

"Oh Lind.."

"The point is that I was mocked, feared, shunned. Then when I got my angel egg it was a double-yolk: two angels. Very rare. But I didn't know that. I saw only one. And it was defective, just like me: One wing only. The proctors wanted to destroy it and give me another angel egg. So I violently said NO, Mint is my angel! She's a reflection of myself, see? So the proctors backed off and let me keep it. Mint was so small back then, so afraid, so frightened. It was a premature egg hatching. I took care of her. She was my only companion, living inside my own mind.

"So I was mocked and called The One Wing Angel. I was too insecure and weak to see both Cool Mint and Spear Mint at the same time. So I saw only one angel. So did everyone else. The One Wing Angel: defective, flawed, dangerous, feared, shunned. Me."

"Lind, stay with me. Forever. I want that more than anything. Fulfill my wish."

I ignored him.

"Lind, why aren't you looking at me anymore?"

"Because.. because I can't dare to look at you right now... it would be... very dangerous."

"For you?"

"No, for you. I should be scaring you right now."

"That's silly. Because there's a goddess like you around, I feel like I can let everything out. All my stress. I've never felt so relaxed."

"Keiichi-kun.."

"Well, it's just the feeling you give me. And not just because you are my guardian angel."

"Keiichi, I feel really comfortable being with you too. This is the most comfortable I've ever felt. With anybody."

But for only for the little time that we left, before Belldandy and I must fly off to our doom. So little time. So very little time..

"Lind.. I.."

I took off my dorky eyeglasses. "Hey, Keiichi-kun?"

"Hmm?"

I lunged and snogged him.

It was an epic kiss. I didn't care anymore.

It felt so _right_. I felt like I was in Heaven. I saw balls of light floating around us. Hey, what? I later learned that Chrono was watching from behind a tree, and she cast a minor light orb spell. That girl is such a romantic. Bless you, Chrono.

I suddenly realized what the heck I was doing. How dangerous it really was. Lind, you stupid idiot! So I gently, oh so very carefully, slowly, let go of my embrace. I stood back. I had crossed the line. If the Judgement Gate rules were in effect we would have to enter it now before we could proceed any further with our intimacy.

But they weren't. Kami had waived the gate.

It was because there was no time left.

The man looked stunned. Oh no.. I crossed the line.. Oh no no no...

"Keiichi, please say something."

"S-Something."

I laughed inside. He doesn't hate me. "Keiichi, you are supposed to be the famous mushy romantic, so gifted with words. That's the rumor all over Heaven. The mortal with the silver tongue. What, you don't have any romantic words for this kind of situation? I left you speechless?"

"I.. I won't ever send you back. Stay. Forever. Fulfill my wish, be with me forever."

Not forever. "That's really corny, Keiichi. You're not living up to your famous reputation, heh. I'm kinda disappointed."

"I-I love you."

I did a mock 'harumph' and turned away. I hid my smile from him. "That's so cliché!"

"Je t'aime!"

"Oh c'mon, Keiichi. You've been getting coached with romantic phrases from _Peorth_? Now I am really, really, really disappointed. I guess I'll just have to return to Heaven now. Pity."

"I'll die fighting with you, side by side."

"Wrong situation, dummy. Try again. Boy, I was told you were really good at this, like a professional or something. I mean mmmmpphph"

I stopped talking for a very good reason: He grabbed me and planted an epic return kiss. That shut me up. It was so intense I thought my brain would melt. I stood absolutely frozen. I relaxed my lips and opened my mouth slightly. I let him do all the work. I had to, for his safety. It was the hardest thing I had ever done. His kiss was long and beyond passionate.

I knew that half the Valkyries in the Fighting Wings were witnesses. They were probably cheering us on wildly. I didn't care.

The gentle waves from the lakeshore lapped next to our feet.

He finally broke his kiss, but not his embrace. "Lind, those rumors in Heaven are wrong. I'm not that good at ad-libbing. Maybe if I had some paper and a pencil I could come up with something appropriate."

"Then take me to a place with paper and a pencil."

"Okay, let's go."

* * *

We lay in bed together and were cuddling. It was the most that we dared do.

"Keiichi, let me tell you a story."

"Okay."

"Once upon a time, a long, long, time ago, in a place far, far, away, the proctors did a scientific experiment."

"An experiment."

"Yeah. They wanted to see what kind of vocabulary a baby goddess would have if it was raised totally in isolation. Brought up without anyone ever talking to it."

"That's a dumb experiment. There's no way it would be able to speak."

"You're only half right."

"Only half?"

"Not only couldn't it say anything, but it died as well."

He sat up. "What a sad story."

"Yeah. But in my case I didn't die, and I can still talk kinda good. Well, mostly. I know my speech ain't the most sophisticated."

"Lind.. you.."

"Keiichi-kun?"

"Never leave me."

"If I can, I promise.. I will try." I was lying to him.. my Keiichi..

"I don't want my goddess to ever disappear, ever again. Not like Belldandy."

My heart was broken.

* * *

**A/N:**

Everybody now say, "Daaawwwwww".

I found the ultimate kissing scene online, and I stole from it shamelessly in writing this chapter. There is a good HD clip on YouTube: {NOT AN AMV} Ef- A Tale of Memories - Miyako x Hirono (HD English Subbed)

The dialog is perfect: 'I'm comfortable hanging around you', some awkwardness, she knows they got limited time together, then a surprise epic snog. The music is _transcendent_. It swells, light orbs fly, and all is right in Heaven.

Then more awkwardness and a surprise reverse snog. Oh man, it hits every beat perfectly. Those two are Lind and Keiichi! It's perfect!

You can assume that this video is exactly what happened to Lind and Keiichi.

* * *

**A/N:**

This is the story's first major 'wham' chapter. The best animes do this. In the third act they hit you with a 'wham', then another, then another, and they just don't stop, it builds to a cresendo right up to the finale. _CLANNAD After Story_ does this in spades. It is the best romantic anime ever created.

So I want to do something similar, writing an escalating sequence of whams in this story. Every chapter from here on is going to be a 'wham' chapter. And each wham will be bigger than the previous one.

Ladies and gentleman, please fold your tray tables into an upright and locked position, and fasten your seatbelts. Tight. We are entering the landing cycle.

And it is going to be a wild ride.

* * *

**A/N Update:**

**Note on ef: **A few readers asked me about the video above, where I got it, what is it about, etc. I was originally planning to spring it on you in the last two chapters, with an A/N explaining how to watch it properly. Since I jumped the gun and showed you a sneak-peek of a short video of _ef_ already here in Chapter 18, I will explain it now.

**How to watch ef:** Basically, if you decide to watch the two-season anime TV series that originated the video above, _ef: A Fairy Tale of the Two_, and I recommend that you at least try, please note that the **first** season is titled _ef: A Tale of Memories_ and that the **second** season is titled _ef: A Tale of Melodies_. Many people get it backwards. It is important to keep the order of the two seasons straight if you want to have any hope of understanding this profoundly deep (but difficult to watch and understand) anime about the fifth kind of love.

And for goodness sakes keep watching after the credits roll! The most important material often _follows_ the credits.

Where did I find _ef_? It is very obscure. Almost nobody knows about it. It had poor TV ratings in Japan because, like _Cloud Atlas_, it was simply too complicated for the average TV viewer to follow. And I suspect the heavy Christian theme put off a lot of Japanese viewers.

I have a miniscule attention span and get easily distracted. You see, sometimes I run across something that catches my eye, then I gotta drop everything and stop to check it out. That happened while I was writing the ending to this story, fine tuning it. By happenstance I ran across an anime duet _ef - A Fairy Tale of the Two_. It is basically the _Cloud Atlas_ of romantic animes: Five loosely interconnected love stories spanning decades of time and thousands of miles of distance between each mini-story. (It is not revealed until the second season that there are_ two identical towns_ each called Otowa, one in Japan and one in Australia. That explains the winter/summer seasonal changes as the story jumped around. Boy, that was subtle and tricky.)

Wow, that is an insanely complex and deep story for a general audience TV show. And it gets the gestalt of Christianity totally right! (I mean that in the C.S. Lewis _Narnia_ sense and J. R. R. Tolkien _Rings_ sense, the same as this fic.) No Japanese anime does that except this one. And the source material is so awesome. Chihiro is an anterograde amensiac (13 hour memory limit), who can fall in love all over again each and every day. What does that even mean, philosophically? She wears a paper eyepatch because, after the auto accident, when the doctors tried to fit her with a glass eye, she would wake up each morning and panic and literally rip the thing out of her eye socket. (A paper eyepatch is easier to replace every day.) She has a totally dedicated lover despite her condition, but everyone warns him off. Can she marry him? Can she bind her future self to actions in her previous life that she cannot remember? She starts messing with her own diary to force a change the relationship. I mean, wow. I might do something with it in another fic. (And it's practically virgin territory over in the _ef _section of the FanFiction website.)

So I paused for two days and watched the anime series. Twice. (I rarely do that.) The anime got lousy ratings (it is too difficult for a lay audience to follow). It was tough but I got most of it figured out (had to translate walls of German text, and I had to catch on that old cellphones had a 99 message voicemail limit. That was critical to one of the arcs, and it was really subtle), and the five interwoven story arcs were really banging the drum on L5 love (and verrrry intricately, like _Cloud Atlas_, a similar tale). But once I understood it, I knew that the music really sang out L5 to a lay audience. So I hadda go back back and plug in the songs from _ef_ into the ending sequence, which was already wound up like clockwork and wasn't easy to modify at that point. Man, that anime banged the drum on L5 harder than even _CLANNAD After Story._

**If you want the quick Cliffs Notes version of _ef_:** I recommend you watch the following three short YouTube AMVs (in proper order): EF - A Tale of Memories - Trailer from Prologue (music part only) by Kokokakukeko (1:48), then Ef: a Tale of Melodies - The Story of Yuu and Yuuko [AMV] by XautoGaming (6:15), and finally I'll never forget you... Yuko by luisenrique223377 (4:13). The total viewing time is about 15 minutes. The order is important, and watch all three immediately in sequence.

The first AMV gives you the overall vibe of the series: This is as Christian as it gets. The second AMV is totally depressing. Yuko is the most tragic romantic heroine in all anime. (And given _CLANNAD_, _Kanon_, and _Air_, hoo boy, that is really saying something.) The teacher's sexual abuse of Yuko is horrific, and her childhood boyfriend is helpless to stop it, not even by running away together. Not recommended for anyone under 16 (a mature 16). The third and final AMV shows basically _the same horrible tragedy_ and yet is uplifting and transcendent, it soars with pure joy, with a soundtrack by Steven Curtis Chapman. Wow, it's the same tragedy, yet it is totally different! That, my friends, is the key to L5 love. Watch these AMVs and you'll get it.

I should point out that the adult boyfriend says he has recently changed from an atheist to an agnostic. But by the end of the story he is clearly getting ready to cross the line. I personally believe that an intuitive understanding of L5 love is the mandatory gestalt pre-requisite before any seeker can cross that line.

-HuuskerDu

P.S. I do need to caution that this is stereotypical Japanese anime, which means yes, these characters are in high school and are jumping in bed together a lot. Yet you almost never see a classroom and everything spools out like they are fully adult. I'm watching assuming they are really adult, and that the five romance arcs go all the way to marriage. It works for me. YMMV. Fair warning.

* * *

**A/N Update:**

Poor Lind. She had such an awful experience in Elementary Goddess School: Defective, flawed, dangerous, feared, shunned. Me.

Yes, me. If you haven't guessed, I am writing about my own horrible experience in grade school and middle school.

The difference is that instead of being physically hyper-dangerous, I was verbally hyper-dangerous. When I was 7 years old during the summer a teacher's aide give me kid-level IQ test. I remember I pegged its highest number. I think it was 145 or 165, don't remember. They wanted me to go from 2nd grade straight to 5th. Luckily my mom said no and I only went to 4th. It was still a huge mistake and messed me up badly. I was like Ender Wiggen in_ Ender's Game_ regarding all the bullying I suffered as a know-it-all 7 year-old showing up the 9 year-olds.

In the Bible, James writes that the tongue is the most dangerous weapon. He was right. I had powers of observation like Sherlock Holmes, so I'd spot things and bust other students for it, then I'd spot things teachers were doing and bust them too.

The other kids at school absolutely hated me, with good reason. The other kids, both boys and girls, bullied me badly. (This was a time when bullying was endemic in the school culture and generally overlooked, nothing like it is today.) I acted like a martyr and never reported it. That way I could feel I was superior to everyone else. (Yeah, I was messed up.)

One kid was really a problem. A super bully.

The kid's first swipe always whipped my glasses off. It was deliberate. My vision without them was 20/250 (almost legally blind).

(Side note: I didn't get glasses until I was in 5th grade. I literally could not see the blackboard. I fooled everybody about my blindness for years. I just heard the teacher talk and mentally created an image of the blackboard in my mind. I faked out the eye tests by memorizing the chart. Finally, during 5th grade, I got escorted into testing room, and I couldn't get a peek at the chart ahead of time. The aide said, "Please look at the chart." I said, "Where is it?" Busted...)

By middle school most of the other bullies had stopped picking on me, or had moved on to softer targets, but the super bully was getting really vicious, outright molestation. (Don't remember, blanked out a lot of it.) I never reported anything. The Vice Principal got wind of what might be going on from a teacher. There was no proof, I denied it all. He didn't believe me, then he took me aside and quietly told me that it was ok if I fought back or kicked him, that he wouldn't punish me for it.

Then it happened. It only happened once.

The super bully was assaulting me like usual. So, I took aim and nailed him, good, just one act. I sent him to the floor.

I almost sent him to the hospital.

It was the only time, the one time, in my entire life that I have assaulted anyone in anger, ever.

I got my ass dragged to the VP office.

The VP was mortified. Terrified he would lose his job.

I told him I wouldn't say anything. I didn't.

He gave me a permanent hall pass so I had the right to go to anywhere I wanted. I skipped class a lot, usually hung out in the library. (I was bored silly in most of my classes.) So, instead of going into the military like Lind did, I went into the world of books. Basically, I was like Kotomi Ichinose in _CLANNAD _(even the bad violin).

After that, the super bully became one of my very few friends. We confessed to each other about the abuse we were both suffering (the bully's was at home, happens a lot). The relationship got... interesting. During our private talks, the bully told me what other kids really thought of me, about what incited them. And for the first time I saw myself from another person's viewpoint. The bully was right, I was a total jerk. It didn't matter that I was always honest. My mouth hurt people and it was wrong. So I shut up and became completely quiet, never said anything in class or out. That basically fixed the problem. We became close, but eventually the bully moved away.

So, like me, Lind is bitter about her school past. I am too, but not so much, since I could have easily corrected the problem if somebody, a teacher, or anybody, could have just taken me aside and straightened me out. Nobody did (at least nobody I remember). It was rather ironic, I think, that the one person who really tried to take me aside and urge me to change my behavior, and who made it stick, was the super bully who became my friend. Looking back on it, I now think this was an example of intuitive L5 love in action, from the bully to me.

-HuuskerDu


	19. Chapter 19: Lind and Skuld Go To Hell

**Chapter 19: Lind and Skuld Go To Hell**

We got the call. Skuld and I were ready. We flew up again to 100km altitude, directly above the temple.

We both had our battle kits fully outfitted in null space. We had all our plans set, with contingencies, fallbacks, more plans in case we got separated, rendezvous points, everything. Everything was ready.

The gate opened. The tunnel was pitch black. We switched to IR vision.

We flew inside.

* * *

The tunnel was jet black and perfectly straight on the inside. This was normal and expected. The curvature happened in higher dimensions, as the bowels of the tunnel wound like a snake through the vagaries of spacetime in 10 dimensions. This was not a normal gate tunnel, made from the living bowels of the gate itself. This was something totally artificial, a hyperspace wormhole that was drilled, slowly and painstakingly, right through the geometry stacks. It was made of pure dimensional force, nonliving and indestructible.

Five hours later we reached the terminus. I flew rather slowly, somewhat below my maximum combat speed within an atmosphere, to allow Skuld to keep up with me. Otherwise I could have reached the terminus in about two hours or less. You see, nobody flies faster than me within an atmosphere, or in a pure vacuum for that matter, when I can build up enough velocity to approach the speed of light given enough running room. In an emergency I could have carried Skuld and flown near my top speed. But I wanted to give her the honor of flying beside in combat formation. She flew in formation perfectly. That kid has such spunk.

I fully expected to be carrying her when we fled back out again at top speed with the denizens of Hell all chasing us. During our contingency planning I didn't mention that part to Skuld.

We arrived at the terminus. We listened. Clear. I pulled the rip on the seal. It hissed.

It stunk. We knew that would happen. I poked a small hand-mirror inside. Clear. I did a hand signal to Skuld. She nodded. Her eyes were burning bright. I had never seen her so excited before. This was going to be an amazing adventure for her.

She had another reason to be so excited: She would soon see her beloved oldest sister again, the Norn of the Past. I had neglected to tell her that, regrettably, there was a small but distinct possibility that this might be the very last time that she saw Urd ever again. That little omission was intentional on my part. If that awful disaster really came to pass, I would later have to give a very personal and heartfelt apology to my beloved and brave lieutenant in arms.

The Norn of the Future really did have her whole future in front of her. And what an amazing future that will soon be, if my hunch was correct. She once showed me the secret photograph she kept in hidden her most private possessions, of her in a wedding dress and Keiichi in a tux about to kiss. It wasn't a real kiss - the circumstances were rather contrived - but what a prophetic photograph if that ever became true! And frankly, in that photograph, I thought she looked more beautiful than even Urd herself. In that white wedding dress she had a kind of purity, like a tall raven haired Snow White.

That Skuld. That whiny little kid would soon become so wonderful, powerful, and beautiful. I did not yet realize that in a few days I would be honored and overjoyed to give Skuld another, even more significant, appellation. If only she accepted it, sigh.

More hand signals. No wyrm sweeps, good. Skuld pulled out her tricorder sensor, no life signs, all clear. That was an interesting little gadget. She told me that she got the idea from watching _Star Trek_. I'd have to try to get more copies of that gizmo built later for Celebine to disburse out to the Fighting Wings forward scouts. Skuld was already proving to be very useful in this op.

We snuck silently into the room.

We entered directly into the throne room of Hell itself, the very center of Niflheim. Our secret dimensional door faced directly opposite the throne chair. That chair looked impressive and nasty. I won't bother to describe the chair in detail. Garish. Over the top. Skulls and rubies, yadda, yadda. Totally Hild's style. You get the idea.

Nobody was here. Darn it. I was hoping Urd would be sitting in that chair. It would have made this op a lot easier and saved us considerable time.

I resealed the door to hide it.

Then I noticed lots of empty booze bottles scattered all over the place. I picked one up: Imperial Sake, dated from just before the Meiji restoration. Had to cost at least 1,000,000 yen per bottle. I saw hundreds of such bottles, some with even more expensive vintages on their labels. I guess when you are the leader of Hell you can pick your poison. I wondered about the health of Urd's poor liver. Even a goddess can regenerate a wrecked vital organ only so many hundred times before it poops out.

First objective: Find Urd. Skuld already had her located on long scan. Not far, four levels below. Wait, the karaoke room? What the heck was she doing down there? Having a stupid dance party or something? That idiot goddess! Running this rotten place is a full time job! And she is our mole to boot! Why is she goofing off down there like that?

Argh, Urd, you lazy twit! This ain't a ceremonial job! It's for real! No time to party!

Sheesh. I was getting angry. Urd, you party-hardy idiot... you aren't following our agreed-upon mission spec! You worked it out yourself, with Tyr and Belldandy as co-conspirators. You remember Belldandy, right? Your own _sister_ living inside Keiichi's head? I passed along the secret plans telepathically between the two of you, remember? I did it myself!

I sighed. "Skuld, we might need to abort. Urd is screwing it up totally."

"Exactly, let's find her. I think my sister is in trouble. I'm worried."

"Hmm.. I concur. Continue the op. Let's find her. We might need to do an evac."

"Aye aye cap'n."

"Hey," I hissed, "I told you a thousand times, this ain't no navy! I'm not a Captain, I'm an Air Marshal! Oh nevermind... keep it silent. Let's go."

And so we proceeded to sneak deeper down into Hell.

Down two levels, three levels, then four.

Then.. Skuld yeeped, "Cap'n! A sonic! Earplugs aren't working.. they.. got.. us.. darn... it..."

Blackness.

* * *

"Good morning, sleepyheads!" It was Urd. My eyes were still unfocused. I couldn't see anything yet.

Ah, good, it's only Urd. I was really worried for a moment there.

I struggled. I applied several metric tons of force to my tied wrists. Didn't budge a whit.

"Woo hoo! Par-tay!" And what the heck was wrong with Urd?

I ran through four possibilities, each one worse than the previous one.

No, this was not good. With my bleery eyeballs, I was able to spy the hazy outline of a small combat Valkyrie wearing a battle suit. "Skuld, you awake over there?"

"Uh.. yeah.. that sonic.. that was impossibly strong.."

"Skuld, I know. There is only one daemon in all of Niflheim that is that powerful with using sound waves as a weapon." With her eyes to boot.

Another voice. "Thanks. The name is..."

"Halval."

"That's right!"

Sigh. This is so not good.

She continued, "Pleased to meet you, Lind. I've heard so much about you. Heard, get it? Heard! That's a joke! Ha-ha!"

Double sigh. I knew that Halval was one of Hagall's personal minions. Very bad. And I didn't mean just her awful jokes.

I heard another voice. "Hey, can we get back to the tunes now?" I recognized that small girlish voice.. very bad..

I made my silly lopsided grin. "Oh, hi, Eihwaz. Haven't seen you in a while." I couldn't see anything yet, but I already knew what she looked like: A small cute little girl in a 'Hello Kitty!' outfit. I knew that she dressed her entire lair in 'Hello Kitty!' knick-knacks.

[A/N: There is an actual website called 'Hello Kitty Hell'. I think Eihwaz buys her knick-knacks from that website. -HuuskerDu]

Eihwaz was Hagall's second in command. Very very bad.

If Eihwaz and Halval were both in the same room, then.. I took a chance. I yelled, "Oh, hey, I smell stinky Thrymr too. Wow girl, wait you _are_ a female, right? I mean, how can anybody tell when you look like Arnold Schwarzenegger? And phew, you really need deodorant for those smelly hairy arm-pits of yours. I can smell your stink way over here!"

"Grr.."

Jackpot.

"Leave her alone. She's mine."

Very very very bad.

Hagall.

Well, I betcha that the whole party's here in the room with me, then. I took another gamble: "Hrungnir, you cute little devil you. I love your German WWI get-up!"

"Really? Thanks!"

"Hrungnir, shut up. She's testing the room to see who is present." Hagall wasn't stupid.

Then I felt an explosion of pain along my left temple. Someone had kicked me in the head, viciously hard. I felt the stars.

"Hagall, stop it. That's an order." That was Urd's voice.

"Yes, your royal highness goddess demoness fashionista drunken fool."

Not good.

"I'm still in command."

"You can't keep drinking Sake like that forever. You'll pass out. Then your mind is mine. Again."

"Like I said, I'm still in command. Untie them both."

"Who, me?"

"Yes you."

"Sigh, Thrymr, go untie them. And kick them a few more times in the head for me, will you please, my darling? Kick them in the head as hard as you possibly can."

"Yes ma'am! This will be fun!"

I cringed. This was really gonna hurt...

Urd again. "No! I ordered you do it Hagall, not Thrymr. Untie them yourself, personally. And no physical abuse."

"Well, not physical.."

"No abuse at all. That's an order."

"Fine, whatever." She did.

We both stood up shakily and rubbed our wrists. Skuld gave me a small hand sign: _I'm okay. Ready for orders._

"That little [bleep] just signaled Lind with a hand sign." Hagall again.

"So what if she did? Hey, Lind! And.. Skuld! Hi!" I tried to wave a little bit. I noticed the pause. Urd did not expect to see her sister Skuld here in Hell. I guessed she was not happy about it.

Hoo boy, I was soon to learn how right I was about that guess.

I tried to rub my eyes to see clearly. Things were slowly coming into focus.

I finally got a good look at Skuld's oldest sister.

Urd was basically wearing Hild's standard Leader of Hell costume: A slinky tight red catsuit with an impossibly deep plunging neckline that barely covered her aureolas and then ran all the way down to below her navel. I always wondered how Hild held that crazy get-up together, especially with those ridiculous and obviously fake E-cup saline boobs of hers. Did she use duct tape or something? And did it hurt like hell when she undressed? Urd was only a titch less boobissimal, and I knew her boobs were actually real, but still..

Urd grabbed my arm and dragged me over to the karaoke machine. "Hey Lind! Pick the next song, will yah! Those bitches are so predictable in their song choices! Pick something new!"

I played along with her. I scrolled down the flat panel looking at the music selection. I saw a list of the most recently previously played tunes:

_The Devil Went Down to Georgia_ (Charlie Daniels Band)

_Evil Woman_ (Electric Light Orchestra)

_Bad_ (Michael Jackson)

_Devil with a Blue Dress On _(Mitch Ryder)

_The Transformed Man_ (William Shatner, argh!)

Oh man.. those songs were pure evil. Especially that last one. Sick and twisted.

I scrolled through the list of choices of musical bands.. hmm.. AC/DC, Anthrax, Deathtöngue, Metallica, Spinal Tap, Twisted Sister. Blah, yuck...

I mashed the buttons at random.

Yeah, I picked that song. You know the one. The worst possible choice for karaoke imaginable.

AC/DC,_ Hells Bells_

It figured. Sigh.

Urd was ecstatic, "Woo hoo! It's your turn, Hagall! Sing it! Sing it loud!"

"I am not touching that stupid song. That singer sounds like a screeching cat being filletted with a Ronco Slicer and then poured into a Bass-O-Matic. Slowly."

"Exactly! Lind picked it! Siiiiinnnggg it!"

Hagall gave me the evil eye. "I hate you, Lind."

I loved it. I shot back my best patented nasty grin at that rotten psycho bitch. "You heard your boss. Start singing. And do try to stay on key, okay? Otherwise you'll hurt poor Halval's eyes." Hah, zing!

And so she 'sang'. I was glad we still had our combat earplugs installed in our ear canals. They would block out the worst of the screeching.

Halval screamed, "Argh! That noise! You're killing me, Hagall!"

"Then look away you idiot," she rasped between lyrics.

"Oh yeah, I forgot." Why do so many evil overlords seem to choose such complete idiots to serve as their minions?

Urd grabbed my arms, "Let's dance!" And so we did. Or rather she did. I tried gamely to keep up. It was embarrassing. I saw Skuld smirking at me. Dang it.

But I didn't really care, not really. I was too busy trying to follow Urd's lead. And I don't mean her dance lead. Hey, you know what? She's a pretty good dancer even when she's completely smashed.

She faked a stumble (or did she?) and we clinched like two boxers in the boxing ring. She hissed in my ear, "Why the [bleep] did you bring Skuld down here? You crazy?"

"Sorry. I thought you'd be happy to see her.."

"You did the worst thing possible, Lind! Get her out of here!"

Hagall was still busy screeching and looking upward, wishing for her ordeal to end. She didn't notice us talking. The others were too busy dancing, or didn't care.

I said, "We're going. With you. All three of us."

"I'm staying here. I'm not coming back. Hagall is too strong."

"Urd, please, come with us. The escape hatch is right in the throne room. We got the door all lined up with the chair for the assassination of Hagall. It's perfect." Skuld had intensified our superlaser by a factor of ten.

"That's clever, but sorry, no, I know that won't work."

"Why?"

"I can't tell you. It just won't. Look, I'll hold down the fort as long as I can. There's no hope for me. I'm turning red any day now. I'll buy you as much time as you can. Find another way. It's good-bye. Don't tell Skuld."

"Urd, please! Come back. Do it for your sister."

"I _am_ doing this for Skuld. For everybody. Get ready to run."

Hagall was finishing up her screeching. She was eyeing us closely while standing at the mic. She knows.

"No, Urd, wait.."

"Take this." Urd shoved something in my hand. "She might not honor it, but the others will." It was a golden Safe Transit Pass.

"I'm taking you with me!"

"Just try it. I'll let myself pass out and then Hagall will tele-operate my body again. You'll be dead in 30 seconds. Skuld too."

"No.."

"Yes. And watch out, Hagall is targeting you for assassination or co-opt, dunno which. Now get out!" She shoved me away. I grabbed Skuld, tossed her on my back, and ran for it.

"Hey! Lind, lemmie down! Urd! Wait, Urd! She's my sister! We gotta evacuate her, like you promised! We gotta take her with us! Stop! Lemmie down! Lemmie down!"

I ran as fast as I possibly could. Then I crashed into a wyrm guard. I held out the golden Safe Transit Pass. It snarled at me and attacked anyway. It ignored the pass completely. That meant only one thing.

I kept moving. Skuld yelled right into my ear, "I hate you, Lind!" Then something blasted us from behind. It was an Uruk-hai guard with a hellfire lance, a big one. The blast knocked us both forward 50 meters into a wall. I hit it first, so that was okay. I checked Skuld. She had a bad burn on her back. Magic red hellfire lance, nasty. Sometimes fatal. She moaned "I hate you..", then she fell unconscious. I held Skuld's body in front of me in a wedding carry and ran again, dodging more blasts.

Up one level. Up two levels. I heard the gong of the master alarm. Then just before the throne room I veered west to a side hall. They weren't expecting that. Up another level, two, three, four. Down two halls, right, down. The master power room for the whole section. I kicked the Adamite door down with my foot, ran in, and grabbed the demon power crystal. Removing the power crystal did exactly what we planned it to do: It killed all the power everywhere, including the alarms, the force fields, comms, lighting, hardpoints, pillboxes, everything. There was general mass confusion as expected. I heard distant howls and growls, growing louder and more numerous in an ever larger chorus of hate. I was really pissing off Hell.

I ran down our previously planned alternate escape route and headed back to the throne room and entered via another hall. They didn't expect that. They spotted me. I zoomed to the dimensional door and ripped the seal and jumped inside.

I wasn't fast enough.

Someone rolled in a small device after me, then the door re-sealed. Grenade!

I got a glance at it. Fusion style, 100 megatons. Non-magical, which gives us a chance to survive, but still really nasty. Possibly fatal for Skuld in her current state.

I flew.

Faster. Faster. Faster. Per the previously arranged escape plan, the tunnel was pumped to a vacuum. No air friction. That meant I could fly _fast_.

So I did. I felt the flood of gamma radiation sleeting through my body as the fusion bomb detonated way back at the tunnel terminus. All that energy was being directed like a rifle bullet right at my feet. I hoped my battle suit was able to absorb most of the gamma radiation. I positioned Skuld's body ahead of me, in front. I used my own body as a human shield to protect her.

Faster. Faster. Faster. 0.01c good. Fast enough to escape ahead of the shockwave, I think. Without an atmosphere I could really move.

Wait, the atmosphere at the exit! Nooo! I slammed on the breaks...

Too late. I hit Earth's atmosphere going waaaay too fast. You see, although 100km is the international definition of 'outer space', there still was some small residual atmosphere at that altitude.

It was like smacking into concrete.

I was just barely able to flip Skuld's body onto my back and arch slightly to protect her from impact. But I hit the exit _hard_.

Per prior arrangement with the gate, it had previously flipped itself 180 degrees so the exit was facing upward, towards outer space, instead of down at Earth. I came shooting out at better than Earth escape velocity.

Lind.. slow down.. turn.. just a few degrees.. away from the blast beam.. there.. elliptical orbit.. best guess.. I think I got it.. maybe.. that's it, I'm done.

Blackness.

* * *

I woke up somewhere over Africa. How much time had elapsed? Skuld was still hooked on my suit. She was still alive. Medical emergency. Gotta head back to the gate and take her up to Heaven to see Doctor Nyd. I told the gate to prep for a fast entrance to Valhalla, 911.

She would make it. Just barely. After I dropped her off, I headed straight to Tyr's office for an emergency report. Something this major had to be reported in person. I got whisked inside by his office assistant, no questions asked.

I gave my report. I explained to the Big Guy everything: Not just that we were soon going to lose Urd, and our only mole, but that there were major events going on Downstairs that were far worse and moving far faster than any of us in Valhalla had realized. He frowned and started to tap his desk absent-mindedly with his finger while looking into space. Never good.

Then Tyr filled out the paperwork for Skuld and myself. He said it was the least he could do. I was grateful.

Urd was half-goddess half-demon, although she's definitely more the former than the latter. How long would that last now? Not long. And I had a pretty good notion of what she would do to herself just before that transformation happens.

I had to know. I asked the Big Guy who Urd's doublet was. Then he told me. Wait, that didn't make sense.

It was me.

Huh? Then why did you just sign that piece of paper! He wouldn't tell me.

This doesn't make any sense. Sigh.

And after Skuld woke up, I was going to have to explain it all to her. Somehow. I was going to have explain to my newly adopted daughter why she was never going to see either of her sisters, ever again.

Double sigh.

And quite possibly soon lose her newly adopted mother too.

Triple sigh.

And tell Keiichi.

Quadruple sigh.

* * *

**A/N:**

Approximately 3-4 chapters are left before the Final Four. Dont worry, the whams are still building.

wham.. Wham.. WHAM.. WHAM!

Mwhahahhaha! Great, now I sound like I'm channeling Doctor Evil or something.

And apparently, like Doctor Evil, Hagall hasn't yet read the Evil Overlord List. She will. She's not stupid like Doctor Evil, and she won't make the same mistakes twice.

Honestly, don't despair. The next chapter is really rough on Lind, but then life will get a lot better for our heroine and our hero, and quickly too.

Google the word 'eucatastrophe'. Remember, I promised you a happy consummated marriage, and you'll get it.

-HuuskerDu


	20. Chapter 20: The Dream of the Wolf

**Chapter 20: The Dream of the Wolf**

We were at the temple. Skuld was in her bedroom, recuperating on the tatami mat under a heavy blanket. Both myself and her future step-father were ministering to her. Doctor Nyd prescribed the medicines that she needed to heal quickly. Keiichi and I found them in Urd's lab.

She talked with Keiichi. But she refused to speak to me.

We both sat cross-legged next to her. I told her how wonderful her oldest sister was: Strong, tall, beautiful, brave, powerful, a great first class goddess in every sense of the word. I left out the fact that she was still technically second class. I explained why she decided to stay behind, how much she loved her, why she was doing this. Because she loved her sister that much.

She pretended to not listen. She looked away.

Belldandy needed to talk to her. I asked Keiichi to go to the market and buy more body bandages. He went to get his helmet and prepared to leave.

Then Belldandy spoke through me. We had maybe 5 minutes before Keiichi got out of range on his bike.

Belldandy explained that Urd had a purpose in life, and that she was fulfilling it. That this was her destiny. She told Skuld that you have a future destiny too, a great one. Belldandy said that yes, life can be very hard, and you can feel very sad, and that it's okay to feel that way. But life is also very joyful too, and it is the sad parts that make the joyful parts all the more special.

She kept talking through me. Hmm.. 15 minutes and I'm still hearing her voice in my head. She must be really powerful for me to pick up her thoughts at this distance. One way, of course.

Skuld was crying. Belldandy kept on talking in my head and I repeated it. Her words were magical. She knows everything. I widened my eyes in awe at what I was hearing in my own mind, as I repeated it aloud, what she was saying to her dear younger sister. Is that really true?

Skuld finally turned and went to sleep.

* * *

Keiichi returned with the bandages.

{ Lind: She hates me. }

{ Belldandy: No she doesn't. I know her. She's just in mourning. She's already healing. }

{ Lind: Her body? }

{ Belldandy: No, her soul. You will be a great mother to her. }

{ Lind: But for how long? }

{ Belldandy: Long enough. }

{ Lind: Sigh. You seem to be taking this rather well. }

{ Belldandy: I'm not. Urd was my sister too, you know. }

{ Lind: Sorry. }

{ Belldandy: That's fine. You are also doing rather well, Lind. Better than I had expected, too. }

{ Lind: Really? Thanks, I guess. Your support really helps. This whole experience has been really hard on me. }

{ Belldandy: I know. Stay strong. }

{ Lind: I will. Thanks to you. }

Keiichi came into the room. "She'll be okay. She doesn't really hate you."

"I know." Belldandy went behind the firewall again. Keiichi held me in his arms. I sighed as we held each other.

He escorted me out into the hall. I closed the partition on Skuld's bedroom.

He turned and said, "So you're a new mother now, huh? I never would have imagined that would happen in a million years."

I grinned. I gently put my head on his shoulder, "Me neither."

"We'll get through this, all three of us, like a family."

"Yeah."

"You ever wanted children? Your own, I mean?"

That surprised me.

"I honestly never thought about it. Combat Valkyries don't really breed much, you see." I smiled a bit. "I mean, think about it.. children, me? Are you nuts? Do you know what kind of awful mother I'd be? I'd be encouraging the brats to shoot tactical nukes at passing blue whales, just for the fun of it. I'd be awful."

We both laughed.

I sighed. "I dunno... things have been happening so fast lately. I'm not really looking that far ahead in my life right now..."

I gave him a gentle kiss. I said, "Let's just take this one day at a time, okay?"

"Okay. I love you."

"I know."

* * *

The next day I was cleaning up after Keiichi's breakfast: omelette, bacon, hash browns. A good basic healthy breakfast. I didn't even give him food poisoning.

Then I heard it. A low whump-whump-whump sound. Keiichi was alarmed, "What the heck is that noise?"

I knew exactly what it was. "Crap!" I tossed the apron and ran outside to the firing bunker.

She was there, working the controls.

"Skuld, what the heck are you doing!?"

"You said we needed to do a test firing. So I'm testing it. I picked Mercury. Nobody will miss it."

I grabbed her wrist, "Stop! Power it down. That's an order."

She yanked her arm away? "Why, because you are my _mother_ now? What are you doing to do if I violate your orders now, spank me? Send me to my room without supper?"

I kneeled in front of her. "No, Skuld. I love you. Please. You're distraught. You heard what Belldandy said. You need to be strong."

"Yeah, strong. Because my Big Sis is going to get what's left of her spirit killed soon to fulfill some stupid promise she made. To _you_."

"Skuld.."

"I hate you! I hate you!"

She beat her small fists on my chest. Then she collapsed in my arms and cried like a baby. I held her in my arms and rocked her back and forth.

She looked up at me. "I am never going to see either one of my sisters ever again, aren't I?"

"No.. I think don't so. I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry."

"I know that Belldandy explained it.. but I never actually see her or even hear her. This is so hard.."

I kept hugging her like that for several minutes.

We went inside together.

I said, "You can still talk to Belldandy though. Through me, I mean. You can forward any message you want and I promise I'll send you her reply."

"That's like a game of telephone..."

"Yeah, but it works. You're not alone. You never will be alone."

She gave me a teary smile.

She slowly healed. Over time. I kept mentoring her and mothering her.

And finally, several weeks later, I would hear for the first time my new nickname: 'Big Bad Mama'. She even made me a T-shirt.

* * *

Keiichi and I continued to explore our physical relationship. I kept putting on the brakes. He was starting to get frustrated.

"C'mon, Lind! You're not Superman, and I'm not made of Kleenex!"

"Actually that's a good analogy."

"This really sucks."

"Tell me about it. I can't figure it out why they did it either."

"It's stupid."

I sighed. "Actually, I do have one theory..." I explained my notion that Tyr was punishing me, dangling Keiichi just out of reach, as a sort of tease.

"Is he really like that? Is he that vindictive?"

"He has rules. They gotta be followed. And there are consequences when you don't."

"Still, I'm not buying that theory."

"Well, if you come up with a better one let me know. I'm horny as heck too, and it's driving me nuts."

"Urd has some powerful tranquilizers in that lab. Knock you out cold. No wait, that's stupid. You'd just be a doll for me. I would never want that. Sorry."

I embraced him again. "That's okay. At least you are thinking of some ideas. You're a pretty smart guy. You'll figure something out eventually. I know it."

Meanwhile we tried other things.

I'm actually a great dancer, Urd notwithstanding. It's really just combat floor exercises. Martial arts stuff. Very elegant. Peorth even told me once that I should try out for that big reality TV show, _Dancing With the Stars_. She said I was a shoo-in for the mirror ball trophy.

The problem is that I might bump into my partner and send him shooting right through the cinderblock wall of the studio. Tom Bergeron would say something witty on live TV to cover it up, while the EMTs rushed in.

Sigh.. maybe line dances? Bah. I can't do anything with him. This is so frustrating!

Wait.. I got an idea.. hmm.. let's try that.

So I taught him T'ai chi ch'uan, or what we in Japan call Taijiquan. Westerners call it Tai Chi.

We did the floor exercise routines side by side, at least 4 meters apart. He got really good at it.

Skuld watched a lot, said it was really beautiful.

It helped.

Keiichi said he was okay with our situation. He said that as far as he was concerned, we could stay this way permanently, in a semi-platonic relationship.

But I still thought it sucked.

* * *

Keiichi and I still slept in separate bedrooms for safety.

I was asleep in my own bedroom. I was dreaming.

Or rather, I was having a nightmare.

I don't remember how it started. That happens a lot with dreams. You remember how it ended, but not how it began.

Tyr was lecturing me. Chewing me out. A righteous ass-chewing. Then he stomped out and Hild took his place. Then Hild started chewing me out. Blamed me for everything: Her death, Belldandy's death, all my fault.

I tried to explain to Hild that Belldandy wasn't dead. She was alive in Keiichi's mind. That startled her.

{ Hild: Reaallllly... How interesting. }

{ Lind: Yes! }

{ Hind: You're wrong of course. }

{ Lind: I'm not! She's in there! }

{ Hild: No she isn't, you idiot. }

{ Lind: Why not? }

{ Hild: Because Belldandy is dead, you fool! She died! }

{ Lind: What? That's impossible! }

{ Hild: Yes it is. She's dead! Oh, I am too, by the way. You really did a number on both of us, you know that? }

{ Lind: Prove it. }

{ Hild: I can't. Only you can prove that yourself. }

{ Lind: Why? }

{ Hild: Because all of this is happening inside your own head! }

What?

{ Hild: Belldandy is not alive inside of Keiichi's head! You're imagining it! All of this is happening inside _your _head, you fool!}

Wait, what?

{ Hild: Think about it! Work it out! I'm dead, Belldandy is dead, and you hear all these voices inside your head. You hear Belldandy, but _nobody else can hear __her_, you moron! }

That was true..

{ Hild: All these voices that are inside your head, Belldandy, me, these are all figments of your imagination! In your dreams! }

But..

{ Hild: And awake too! You've gone schizophrenic, you idiot. Totally schizoid. Hey, have you ever seen the film, _The Many Faces of Eve_? That's you. }

{ Lind: Huh? What? Why? }

{ Hild: Because of your guilt, you fool! These are your own voices you are hearing, from your guilt! I am your guilt speaking to you. }

Wait, was Belldandy even inside Keiichi's head to start with? Or am I just imaging her? 'Speaking' for her?

Huh? But I saw all the crap flying around him. No way!

{ Lind: You liar! Keiichi had those powers to fling crap around, then the marks appeared on his face! Skuld saw them herself! So I wasn't imagining it! }

{ Hild: Think. What happened next? The crap stopped flying around, then the marks on his face faded away, remember? }

{ Lind: Well, yeah.. Belldandy fixed that. }

{ Hild: No she didn't! She died! }

What... could it be.. no..

{ Hild: It is your guilt that is keeping her mind alive in your voice. She died due to a Bonding rejection. You know about that, right? Rejection of the Bond due to psychic trauma? Keiichi's mind was not compatible for the Bond. It was too different. It would never work. He's just a human, she was a first class goddess. You knew it would never work! }

She was right. It never would have worked. Between a first class goddess and a mere mortal? Couldn't have.

No..

{ Hild: And you _felt her mind die_. That was why he was thrashing and all that crap was flying around the room. It was her death throes! The marks faded in on his face, then they promptly faded away. Belldandy didn't hide them, it was because she had just died! And now you are mentally blanking that all out. And it was all _your_ fault! }

No...

{ Hild: Kami hates you! You killed the most precious thing he had, his precious daughter! You murdered the most wonderful and precious being that ever graced the halls of Valhalla. }

No...

{ Hild: You are a _murderer._ You are a mentally deficient, physically defective, walking abomination of murder. You are Kami's own personal demon of mass destruction and death. He just calls you a goddess. You're really a converted demon, did you know that? Your chevrons at your birth were originally red! That's why you can't remember your parents! }

No...

{ Hild: You were originally a werewolf, a powerful demon werewolf, did you know that? That's why your eyes turn yellow.. wolfish yellow. And your face looks like one too! Kami simply lets you out your cage once in a while and he sics you on things he doesn't like, and says 'kill!' so you nuke everything in sight, then he pats you on the head, 'good dog!', as you pant with blood dripping on your lips, and you go back to sleep in your cage and wait for your next kill. That is all you are! A killing animal! }

No...

{ Hild: That is all you are, Lind, a rabid killer! A tamed demon werewolf! No amount of training by Peorth, no amount of meditation, will ever be enough. You will never have Keiichi, and you know it! }

NOOOOOO!

In my dream I saw of a blast of energy launched from my halberd like a beam of pure destructive power. I somehow blasted Hild off her mountaintop and knocked her back at least 1000km before she could stop her backward momentum. She was stunned.

And for the few minutes until she returned I had sat there within my mind, and I despaired.

I saw her return. There was a good sized smoking bruise on her sternum.

{ Hild: My, that actually hurt me. I'm impressed, Lind. I'm at full strength right now. That should have been impossible. }

{ Lind: Wait, you just told me you were dead. That you are supposed to be a figment of my imagination. Ha, caught you! You're slipping, you know that? That's not like you. }

{ Hild: It isn't. Am I slipping? Or did you just imagine you zapped me? I will give you a hint: I am real. }

Aha!

{ Hild: Because your thoughts are what make me real. }

Wait, what?

She was messing with my head. That bitch!

I was getting angry. More angry than I have ever been in recent memory. If I could see myself in my dream I am sure that my irises would have been flaming yellow by now, and the expression on my face would be like an angry wolf.

Then I actually _growled_ at her. That was a mistake. I could hear her laughter inside my mind. She was becoming more confident, and I was becoming weaker. I could feel myself fading under her dominant will.

And all this was happening inside my head, in a dream.

{ Hild: Join us, Lind. Come back home. Come back to mama. We in Niflheim do not wish death and destruction. We only seek order and structure. You know that. We are not like my ex-husband. We do not destroy for the sheer passion of it, nor do we commit mass murder for joy, not like he does when he sets you loose. We want only to end this pointless, endless, war, to end all this stupid death and destruction. }

I remained silent. Was she right?

{ Hild: We can save Urd too. Together. It's not too late. I love my daughter. Save Urd and save your own life. Doublet system and all that. }

Save.. Urd..

{ Hild: We will win, you know that. Kami knows that. It was foretold, it is inevitable. So what does he do to stop us? He tries to push the Big Red Button and kill everyone! Start Ragnarök! He actually tried to start Ragnarök to save his own sorry ass! Belldandy stopped him! It was why she died! She had to stop him! }

{ Lind: Wait, is that true? }

{ Hild: Of course it is true! We were both there when it happened, remember? I was there with you. We both saw it together. We saw all of it together! Of course she stopped him! She had to! }

Wait.. Was she was right?

{ Lind: Ok, supposing I believe you. What should I do? }

{ Hild: Just walk over here and hold my hand. }

{ Lind: Wait, what? }

{ Hild: My hand, right here. Just take it. That's it. }

{ Lind: Really? }

{ Hild: Really. Let mama take you home. No more guilt. No more suffering. }

{ Lind: You're right. I can't suffer this guilt anymore.. I can't.. I can't be a mad-dog killer anymore.. }

I reached out to grasp her hand.

And in that last moment, in my mind, within my dream, I saw her face. It was the face of supreme triumph. I reached out to grasp her hand. I saw her long black lacquered fingernails, with strong grade 9 limiters on all ten of her fingers, her face shining in victory, and then..

And then..

And then..

I stopped.

I heard laughter in my mind.

But it was not the laughter of Hild.

Someone was shaking me. "Lind! Wake up! You're having a terrible nightmare, wake up! Please! Wake up!"

It was the laughter of Hagall.

{ Hagall: So close! }

I thrashed really violently for a moment, then I sat up on my sleeping mat. "Keiichi? What are you doing in my bedroom?"

He was kneeling next to me. "From my bedroom I heard a soft cry, like you were upset. So I rushed over. I've been sitting here cross-legged, watching your face for the past 20 minutes, while you were dreaming. You were thrashing, then it got really violent. I know our strict rules about touching when you are like that, but I couldn't just sit and watch you suffer anymore. I yelled but you didn't listen. So I took a chance. I had to wake you up."

I had almost lost my soul. It was so close. For you see, I was being deceived by the master daemon of illusion, the master daemon of false dreams.

I sat up on the mat and I cried and hugged Keiichi. He was stunned. Oh no.. did I just hurt him? No.. Lind you idiot! I was violating all the rules. I could have killed him accidentally at that moment. I didn't care. He had just saved me from a fate worse than death. Far worse. I owed him even more than my life now. I owed him my soul.

He froze, then he gently hugged me back, knowing the terrible danger he was in. He took an awful chance, but this was _agape_ in full swing. He did what he knew he had to do.

I let go our embrace and kneeled on the mat, and were kneeling sat face to face, only inches apart. "Keiichi, you just saved my life. Actually, I think you just saved my soul."

I wiped my face and regained my composure quickly. I stood up. I bowed formally. "Thank you. I am in your debt even more now, more than I even imagined possible. I will do whatever you say, protect you, no matter what it takes. Now, and always. My life means nothing. I love you so much."

Then I put my hands on my hips in anger, well, not really, I was faking it. And I was doing it very badly. "You stupid boy! If you got yourself killed like this I.. I.."

"Shhh. You'll wake up Skuld. So I did the right thing then?"

I was still pretty shook up. I tried to hide it, badly. I sniffled, then I said, "Yeah, you did. You really did. I love you so much."

"Yep. I'm really getting to know you too, my love. I knew awaking you from your nightmare was the right thing, even if it was really chancy for me."

"You ok? Did I hurt you at all? Even a scratch?"

"No, I'm fine. Get back to bed." He pushed me gently down on the mat again.

"Well, have yourself checked out anyway. And that's an order from your guardian angel."

He mock saluted me, "Yes ma'am!"

"Now get out of here before I kick you out. You don't want to go into orbit."

He laughed and turned to leave.

I said, "Wait, If it happens again, call Skuld first, okay? Don't do this again. I mean it."

"I won't", he lied.

I was starting to know my man. That was a lie and we both knew it. I made a small gentle smile. He turned to leave again.

"Keiichi, wait.."

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

He made a silly lopsided grin. "I know."

He left. I recognized that lopsided grin. It was a mirror to my own.

* * *

Eventually I went back to sleep.

Then I heard overheard a second voice in my head, and it was not talking to me.

{ Eihwaz: Hagall, that was way too risky. It's stupid. Just have her killed. We all know she's going to die soon anyway. }

{ Hagall: Quiet! She's still somehow linked to my mind! How is she doing that!? I already shut down my mental link! Help me disconnect... }

{ Lind: My my, isn't it nice to see you again so soon? }

{ Hagall: Ack! Look at that! Lind's eyes are yellow! Get out of my head, Lind, now! }

{ Lind: Woof woof! Here I come! And I got my wolf smile on! }

Yare yare.

{ Hagall: I didn't mean any of that! I take it all back! Get away from me! Get out of my head! Aaaiiieee! Help! Mommy! }

Heh.

{ Lind: I'm yo mama now. So bend over and take your spanking! }

{ Hagall: Eihwaz, help me! }

{ Eihwaz: Hey, you brought this on yourself. I got me some popcorn to watch, heh. Oh, Lind, please don't mind me at all. Carry on. }

{ Lind: Thank you. Where was I, oh yeah. You (Smack! Ow!) have (Smack! Ow!) been (Smack! Ow!) a (Smack! Ow!) naughty (Smack! Ow!) demon! (Smack! Ow!) }

{ Eihwaz: Heh. }

{ Lind: Because (Smack! Ow!) nobody (Smack! Ow!) messes (Smack! Ow!) with (Smack! Ow! ) my (Smack! Ow!) head! ( Smack smack smack! Ow ow ow! ) }

{ Eihwaz: I think I'm going to need more popcorn. }

I slept the remainder of the night in a pleasant dream. I woke up really refreshed.

* * *

What I did not know at the time was that my thrashing had actually injured Keiichi. His left arm was injured by a direct hit from me when I was thrashing around. After I went back to sleep he drove himself to the hospital on his bike to get himself checked out. Fortunately it was just a bad sprain, not a bone break. All the time he was talking to me he was in pain but was hiding it. He was hiding it the whole time he was trying to re-assure me.

He had me completely fooled. This would again be a mark of our relationship. He could put one over on me, but I could never fool him no matter how hard I tried.

And that was perfect for us both.

So, instead of rushing out to call for an ambulance or something, he had delayed in my bedroom to talk to me, to reassure me, until he was sure I was okay, all despite the pain he was in. Then he drove himself in.

That man is amazing. I love him so much.

I saw the sling the next day. He tried to hide it.

I was ready for it because Skuld came to me while I was making breakfast and prepared me for it. "He's in a sling. Don't gush and apologize, he doesn't want that. He says if you two exchanged places last night, with him having first class goddess powers and waking up thrashing super hard like that, and you being mortally vulnerable while trying to wake him up, that you would have done exactly the same thing he did. He says he wants you to know that, although he says you already do."

"Yeah, I know."

"Wait, so why do I have to tell you all this then? It's stupid! Keiichi is such a doofus!"

I patted Skuld on the head, "It's okay. You are doing the right thing too."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Keiichi walked in. I was prepared. I said, "I'm still saying 'I'm sorry'."

"I know you would. Apology accepted. Let's just all be careful next time, ok?"

I jumped in an exaggerated salute. "Yes sir!"

"At ease. So, what's for breakfast? Mmm.. smells good."

And that was it. We gabbed and I served breakfast.

* * *

So, was I really born a demon? Really a werewolf?

Keiichi said he didn't care.

So I didn't either.

For you see, I was given a purpose in life, by my Creator.

And now he had one too.

Later Skuld made me a second T-shirt, and she gave it to me.

My new T-shirt read, 'Big Bad Wolf'.

Growl.

* * *

**A/N:**

Wham! Wham!

Hey, this is fun..

I'm all finished.

I'm all done up through Chapter 27, the final official chapter. Seven more chapters to go! Three more and then the big Final Four! Woo hoo!

I think I will dole the remaining chapters out slowly, like a TV serial. Probably 1-2 per week or so. The last four probably 1 per week (I'm such a tease!)

I have an Epilogue too. Roughly 78,000 words total up to the big finish. The word count might grow if I get inspired to add more stuff. I have a bad habit of going back and fiddling with prior chapters, trying to interconnect everything.

Please keep reviewing. I will go back and re-write if you think I should. I do that a lot. For example, I just added a big A/N appendix to Chapter 18.

Your reviews/favorites/follows are _very_ important. I don't want this fic to drop into a black hole after I publish the final chapter. We need to kick up the rating to keep it visible long term. Remember, I'm competing with 600 other fics in the OMG section.

Thanks again for your reviews and your inspiring PMs. Truly, I am blessed.

-HuuskerDu

* * *

**A/N Update:**

As we move into the homestretch of our story, I will start to reveal more examples of what the fifth kind of love really is, how it works, and the situations where it is most applicable. I will spell out the formal definition of L5 love in the A/N notes at the bottom of the final chapter.

For now, I will reveal one of the songs that will appear in the final chapter when it discusses what L5 really is. The song is_ Ebullient Future_ (one of the 'EF' songs in _ef_). There is an absolutely beautiful version of this song sung by the famous Elisa herself (in English), where she plays the piano (she's not faking it), and it is the best rendition of any version of this song. This perfect rendition can be found on YouTube at Elisa エリサ - Ebullient Future Lasei DVD Acoustic Live ラセイ  by standofish.

I much prefer this version to the official one, which is overproduced (I hate the electric guitar solo - this is a delicate song, dang it). Anyway, listen very carefully to the lyrics, and watch Elisa's face and how she plays the piano, and you will get another good clue about what the fifth kind of love really is.

Dang, Elisa is so beautiful in this video. That's it. My Lind looks exactly like Elisa in this video. That's her, and she's singing it. I mean, look at her! She even has the asymmetrical hair already! Just give her the three dots and that is Lind. Be sure to kick up the quality to the max (480P) so you can really get a good look at this gorgeous woman.

-HuuskerDu

P.S. I admit that it is hard to hear and understand Elisa's lyrics in the video. The lyrics are really important and I want you to understand them (Hint: This is a seeker song.) So here is a second clip of Elisa singing the same song, but with the lyrics included as English subtitles: ebullient future (all lowercase) by xtrastr (3:42). This is a standard music video. It is not as good as the piano version. I hate the stupid electric guitar riffs and the violin on meth in this version. But you get to see the lyrics printed on the bottom in English. Pay attention to that. And you get to see the beautiful Elisa, my Lind, moving around in a world of white and sky, wearing a lovely white dress. What a woman.

P.P.S. I have finally decided that yes, Lind really is a kind of supernatural wolf, an _ōkami_. She's never been a demon nor a werewolf. She's always been on the blue team (never the red team), and she has never killed for her own pleasure, only when ordered to do so. Those were lies. Any joy she feels when killing the scumbags is due to fulfilling the purpose for which she was created.

Lind's real rank, real purpose, and True Name, are all revealed by Belldandy in the final chapter. Remember, Lind is projecting only part of her 10 dimensional self into our 3 dimensions. She can unconciously change which parts of herself she projects at any given time. But she can't control it. Only high-level types like Belldandy, Anzus, and Hild can change their projection conciously.


	21. Chapter 21: A Whirlwind Romance

**Chapter 21: A Whirlwind Romance**

On subsequent nights I had more dreams. They were all quite pleasant, those with Keiichi particularly so.

One night I had a strange dream. I was flying high above Nekomi, heading for a strange gate. It wasn't the Japan Gate to Valhalla. It was a some kind of strange gate that I had never seen before. The geometry of the gate was very weird, non-euclidian? And it had a symbol I had never seen before, and yet I understood it. It was a number: 38. I was feeling giddy so I did a flash-bang, then I flew right into the gate. Then I saw.. something.. and felt a rush of adrenalin, and then...

I woke up.

* * *

The weeks passed. My relationship with Keiichi grew deeper and deeper.

One day I decided to come fully clean with Keiichi and keep no secrets from him, at least as much as I could tell him.

You see, we L1 goddesses are literally blocked from talking by something called the Ultimate Force. It prevents us from blabbing certain deep secrets to mere mortals. Literally, our voice chokes up. We cannot speak. It feels like a gag reflex and it is not pleasant.

Hmm. I wonder in my new state if the Ultimate Force is still in effect. I said, "Keiichi, can I test something please?"

"Sure, go ahead."

I tried to explain how the Judgement Gate really worked. "Gack, ack, pfft!" I sounded like Bill the Cat.

"Lind, are you okay?"

"Yuck. I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit. Sorry. I was just testing something. Forget it."

"What the heck were you doing?"

"I was just testing."

"What were you testing?"

"Uhm, Belldandy was forced to keep certain secrets from you. I was just testing to see if that same restriction was still on me. It looks like it is. I'm really sorry."

"You mean there are certain secrets you can't tell me?"

"Yeah. I can't tell you them. I physically can't. Look, I promised myself I would not keep any secrets from you, so I was just testing. Looks like I can't keep that promise. And I really wanted to. I really did."

"I guess I understand. So that means that Belldandy was prevented from telling me stuff too. I did not know that."

Oops.

{ Belldandy: Sorry, I was sleeping. What is going on? }

"Lind, what kind of secrets was Belldandy trying to keep from me?"

{ Belldandy: Lind! What are you doing!? }

Double oops.

"Uh.. I'm sorry, Keiichi. Really." I was putting my foot in my mouth up to my about my thigh. "Can we please forget this conversation ever got started? I'm really sorry. You know I love you. It's just that I'm still really new at dealing with mortals. I'm really really sorry."

"It's okay. I understand perfectly. Wow, I'm impressed you are even trying. You are a really honest person, Lind."

"Yeah, that's me, Ms. Blunt Truth. You are a super hot guy, by the way. Heh, and you know I really mean it."

"Hey, now you got me blushing again."

{ Belldandy: That was very good. You cleverly got him distracted. }

{ Lind: Huh? I didn't do that on purpose. I'm just being me. }

{ Belldandy: Still, thank you. }

"Lind, you are doing that space-out thing again. Why do you keep spacing out when you talk to me?"

"Huh?"

"It's like someone is coaching you. Do you have an earpiece or something? Is someone giving you information?"

"Uhm.."

"You just said that you would never lie to me if you could avoid it."

"Yeah.. I'm trying.. this is so hard."

{ Lind: What do I say? You've forbidden me from disclosing your existence or that Keiichi has access to first class goddess powers. Help! }

{ Belldandy: Well, you really boxed yourself in. You are quite terrible at this. Let me think. }

I waited.

He said, "You're waiting for your coach to tell you what to say, aren't you?"

Crap! Crap!

I looked up at the ceiling, then I moved close and looked at him right in the eye. "Ugh.. Look. I love you. Period, full stop. You know that. I'm trying as hard as I can given the restrictions they are putting on me. And hoo boy, some of those restrictions are pretty heavy. But I love you, and I am really, really, trying. I'm not holding anything back on my own. And if there is some big secret or something that I feel is really harming you, I'll just quit the Wish and walk out. And that's the absolute honest truth."

"Ok. Yeah, ok. Thanks. I think I understand."

"I love you. I'd do anything for you."

"It's Peorth, isn't it?"

"What?"

"Peorth is coaching you what to say."

Say, that's a good cover story. I'll have to mention it to her.

I put my hands behind my back and swayed back and forth, "Well, you got me. I can't say if it is Peorth or not. Not allowed. I'm really sorry. Wish I could tell you, but I can't."

"Peorth just coached you to misdirect me. That was awful, by the way. Just give it up. I know it's Peorth. Just one question, is that wire gonna be turned on when we are, uh, maybe doing some of those fantasies I hinted about?" He was turning red.

"Absolutely not. I demanded that up front. Strictly no eavesdropping. From nobody, not no how. Period. And I'm telling it to you straight up. We will be private."

"Phew, good. That would have been awkward. I don't really like Peorth getting all in my business like that, if you know what I mean."

"Jeepers, are you kidding? You and me both!" I made a silly lopsided grin.

I kept babbling, "C'mon, Peorth? I would never live it down if I didn't meet her uh, high standards, if you know what I mean..."

He laughed. "Yeah! Or me! Tell me about it. That's pretty funny. We are both going to be so terrible at this, I don't think I could ever live it down either if anybody saw us."

"Phew, you ain't kidding. Talk about the blind leading the blind." He laughed again.

{ Belldandy: That was excellent. You are a pro. }

{ Lind: I am not. That was all true - I never said it was Peorth, he did. }

{ Belldandy: Still, not bad. }

{ Lind: I feel like I am tap dancing on a wire over a volcano right now. }

{ Belldandy: You did very good. I'm impressed. }

{ Lind: Oh give it a rest. }

{ Belldandy: Sorry. }

"I'm sorry, Keiichi. You were saying again?"

He laughed again.

And so I dodged a real bullet.

Then he completely surprised me. "Lind, you know, I have a secret to confess to you too."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Which is?"

"Uhm, I already figured out one of your deep 'forbidden' secrets. You want me to tell you?"

"Uh, sure.. I can't confirm or deny anything of course."

"I figured out that my libido was put in check so I could never experience physical love with Belldandy."

{ Belldandy: No! }

{ Lind: That wasn't me. I swear. Not a hint. Wasn't me. }

"Okay.. supposing that is true, hypothetically speaking, how did you come to that conclusion?"

"Because I feel completely different now."

"Like how?"

"I already just told you. I said I feel completely different now. With you. And with Belldandy too."

"With Belldandy?"

"Yes. You see, since I've met you I've had fantasies that I never had before, not just with you, but with her. Nothing like that has happened since I accidentally tripped and fell on her in my dorm room when I first met her. It never happened since then, until now. That's weird. I never noticed it until we started our relationship."

I was non-committal. "And..?"

"And now I do have fantasies about her. Something happened to me. That couldn't have been natural back then. No fantasies about Belldandy, I mean. Something was obviously messing with my libido back then."

"You don't say."

"Lind, let me tell you something right now: You're terrible at this."

"At what?"

"Nevermind. You can't lie worth spit. I know I'm right about that secret."

"Okay, whatever, hypothetically speaking, of course."

He started laughing at me.

"Oh c'mon! Am I that awful?"

"Uh, yeah, you are. And you know what? It's one of the things I really love about you."

"Sure.. thanks.. I think."

{ Belldandy: Either you are better at misdirection than even me, or you really are that clueless. Either way it is working. Good job. }

{ Lind: Shut up. }

{ Belldandy: That was rude. }

{ Lind: Sorry. }

I was getting exhausted from all this verbal tap dancing. I was really, really, not good at it. At all.

"Uhm, Keiichi, I kinda am starting to get a headache now. And that's no lie. I think I'm going to take a nap now."

"Sweet dreams. I hope you dream about me."

"Very funny."

I did.

* * *

So later I just had to ask him.

"Uhm, Keiichi?"

"Yeah?"

"Those fantasies you've had? About me? Could you please describe them for me?"

"Uh, no, I better not."

"Ok, nevermind. Just wondering." I wanted to know, in case he wanted me to, I dunno, dress me up as a banana so he could peel me or something. Yeah that was lame. The point is, I needed ideas about what he really wanted from me.

You see, I don't know this fantasy stuff at all. I wondered what kind of fantasies a young hormonal virginal man might have about little old me, a smoking hot goddess with a 22 year-old supermodel body? It wasn't probably to play paddy-cake or something. (I knew that because that was Roger Rabbit's freaky fetish with Jessica Rabbit, and everybody said he was a perv.)

I needed ideas. So I called up Peorth on the phone to ask about it, and she had a conniption fit. She said to run any 'affaires bizarres' by her first for her approval. Ok, she had a point. What's normal and what's weird, and how would I know?

* * *

The days passed. Keiichi and I grew closer together. One day he invited me into his bedroom. We sat on his bed together and he showed me a large photo album of his family members. I saw pictures of Megumi as a young child (so cute!), his aunt, his uncle, some cousins, and then...

He turned the page in the album. "Lind, these are the photographs of my parents."

Parents? Hmm, this should be interesting. I carefully picked up the album from his hands, being careful not to physically touch him. We were getting good at this sort of thing. The handoff went easily. I put on my dorky eyeglasses, and then I looked closely at the two photographs.

The photograph on the left was a good portrait of Keiichi's father. He looked basically just like Keiichi himself, but with gray hair, eyeglasses (not as dorky as mine), and he had a careworn, lined, face, with a wan smile. The label under the photo was, 'Keima'. I guessed that Keima must be around age 50-55 or so. Keiichi obviously inherited his father's looks. Apparently, Keiichi will age gracefully into a distinguished looking gentleman. That's nice.

Then I saw the photo on the right.

Who was that? Huh?

"Keiichi, do you have a second sister?"

"No.."

That has to be a really old photo. "Keiichi, please tell me.. who is the woman in this other photo? This one." I pointed. It was the photo next to his father's picture.

"Oh, that's my mother, Takano."

The photograph was of an extremely beautiful young woman with a round face and curly raven colored hair. She looked stunningly beautiful. In fact, she looked just like a gorgeous hot 22-year old supermodel with no physical imperfections whatsoever. She was wearing an outfit that was rather like my own: overalls, but with only a single strap, like Lil' Abner. I really liked the asymmetrical effect of the single strap. The overalls ended in a dress instead of slacks. Underneath the overalls she wore a mid-sleeve cotton blouse. No dorky glasses though. Because she's perfect. She was...

"Keiichi, are you sure this is a recent photo?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Okaaay... Very funny, Keiichi."

"No, really. That is my mother."

"Pull my other leg."

"I swear. They both stopped by and visited the temple about eight months ago. I had a bike race with my dad. It was really exciting. They arrived separately. It was quite a coincidence."

Yeah, I bet it was.

"Uhm, Keiichi, can I ask you a personal question? You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"Sure, anything. You know that I keep no secrets from you, Lind. Same as you."

"Okay. Uhm, Keiichi, here's the question: Have you ever seen your parents in any sort of direct physical contact? Hold hands, kiss, or anything like that?"

"Oh, well, no, of course not. Oh I see, the two different photos might be confusing you, why there isn't a single photo showing them together, I mean. Look, there's a good reason for that. You see, my parents were legally separated right after I was born. They never told me the reason for the break-up. I mean, they never fought or anything like that. In fact I think they are still on good terms with each other. I've always felt a little guilty about it, like their break-up was my fault or something. Of course I know that's silly. I was just a baby at the time. They get along, really."

Oh my dear Keiichi.. it _was_ your fault. Not for anything you did. Merely for existing.

So, it appears that his parents had declined the test of the Judgement Gate. I wonder which one wussed out? I guessed it was the father. It didn't really matter. The penalty was no further physical contact whatsoever. They could see each other, even talk, but any touch would result in instant death for them both. Such was the penalty for declining the test of the Judgement Gate once physical love was initiated. And hoo boy, did they ever initiate it, if Keiichi was the result. I wondered about Megumi. Half-sister maybe?

"Keiichi, can you wait here for a moment? I need to make a quick mental phone call."

"Sure. What's wrong?"

"I'm not sure yet. I just need to check something. Please stay here and look at these photos with me for a moment."

"Okay.."

{ Lind: Belldandy, knock knock! Hey, come out of that hidey hole and talk with me! Right now! }

{ Belldandy: Yawn. Oh, I must have dozed off. Is everything okay? }

{ Lind: No, everything is not okay! }

{ Belldandy: Is it an emergency? }

{ Lind: I don't know. You tell me. }

{ Belldandy: I don't understand. }

{ Lind: Belldandy, please use Keiichi's eyes and look at these recent photographs of his father and his mother. Look at them closely. You see anything a little unusual about his mother in that photo on the right? The one labeled 'Takano'? Just a little teeny weeny little bit unusual? Like, oh, I don't know, that it just so happens that she looks like _she is the same age as Keiichi himself_? Remember, it's a recent photo. Isn't that a little bit odd, in your opinion? Hmm? }

{ Belldandy: Oh dear. }

{ Lind: Argh! You've been keeping secrets from me. Talk! Who is she really? I know all the L1 and L2 goddesses. She looks powerful, but I've never seen her before. And she's hiding her facial chevrons. That's illegal, by the way. You know the rules about friend-versus-foe identification. }

{ Belldandy: I do. She is exempt. }

{ Lind: Huh? Why? }

"Lind, is everything okay? You look alarmed. Are we in danger?"

"Uh, no.. I don't think so. I'm just checking something. It could be important."

"Okay, I'll wait right here."

I took a risk and held his hand. "Thank you.. please just wait."

"Lind, your hand is sweaty. What's going on?"

"Give me a sec."

{ Lind: Belldandy! Spill it, right now! }

{ Belldandy: She's not a goddess. }

Nooo!

{ Lind: Oh dear [bleep]. A daemon. Oh no no no... }

{ Belldandy: Goodness gracious, no. Relax, Lind. }

{ Lind: Don't give me a heart attack like that! }

{ Belldandy: I'm very sorry. }

{ Lind: Stop stalling. I asked you a question. Who is she? }

{ Belldandy: I don't think I appreciate your tone of voice. }

{ Lind: Sigh.. please? Tell me. I have to know. }

{ Belldandy: Very well. Takano is an elemental. }

{ Lind: Which element? Oh wait.. }

Keiichi had told me about the time when Urd, Skuld, and Peorth had a silly contest to try to 'assist' Keiichi. They accidentally converted him into literally the wind. A whirlwind. Belldandy rushed in and used all her powers to try to bring him back, to no avail. His atoms were blown apart. Literally. Blown to the wind. She then called out his name and he somehow reconstituted himself. I remembered that sounded incredible. I had no idea that Belldandy wielded that kind of power, such fine-tuned control, down to the atomic level.

Of course, now I knew. She didn't.

Keiichi had reconstituted _himself_. All Belldandy did was call out his name.

It was simply incredible. And that meant that the elemental's type was..

{ Lind: Of course. Wind. Keiichi's mother is a wind elemental. }

{ Belldandy: Yes. }

{ Lind: But wait, that level of fine-tuned control, down to the atomic level, is simply impossible, isn't it? It's impossible for anybody! Not even a wind elemental, or any elemental for that matter. Nor for you. No goddess can do that. No elemental can do that. Nobody can. It's impossible. }

{ Belldandy: Not for this one. }

{ Lind: I'm waiting. Tell me her True Name. Now. }

Silence.

{ Lind: Fine. I'll just make a phone call Upstairs and figure it out anyway. I want her True Name, right now! }

{ Belldandy: Lind, please calm down. Her True Name is Mariah. }

{ Lind: Mariah... wait, I've heard that name before. In stories. Legends. Way out to the west they whispered her name, back when they painted their wagons. Rain was Tess, fire was Joe, and they called wind Mariah. She's as powerful a wind elemental as they come. Good grief they say she can blow the stars around, set the clouds a-flyin', and the folks were out there dyin'. Mariah. I remember that name now. You mean she's actually real? The spirit of the whirlwind itself? }

{ Belldandy: Yes. She is the heart of the hurricane. The center of the F5 tornado. The whirlwind of ultimate destructive power. }

I was stunned.. this boy's mother was the most destructive atmospheric force on the planet. The blood of millions of lives were on this woman's hands: Every major wind disaster in human history. Every hurricane, every tornado, and every flood, fire, or other disaster caused by them. She controlled the weather too by modifying the jet stream. She caused bitter cold, scorching heat, horrible droughts, epic famines. She wiped out entire civilizations.

That poor man, Keiichi's father. Did he know who she really was?

Of course he knew. How could he live with himself? He didn't. He declined the test of the Judgement Gate. Now I knew why.

_One day I left my girl_

_I left her far behind me_

_And now I'm lost, I'm oh so lost_

_Not even God can find me_

That poor man.. Fortunately it seemed that Keiichi inherited most of his genes from his father's side, not his mother's (phew). Other than a few weird incidents like that wind crisis when he was atomized, and the fact that he can host an angel, and the fact he has the ability to charm the goddesses themselves, and the fact that he seems to intuitively know everything about how Valhalla and Niflheim work as soon as he sees it, and the fact that..

Okay. Sigh. I get it. How did I miss all this? Wait, we all did. We all missed it. All the goddesses missed it.

Except Belldandy.

And here I had thought that _I_ was the badass. But compared to Mariah? I'm chump change. And I always operated under tight constraints, with strict limits on the amount of collateral damage that I was ever permitted to inflict. (Ok, I didn't always follow the rules exactly, but at least I had them.) And I only did harm when I was assigned a job, or in self-defense. But Mariah? She was totally wild. Pure power. Totally uncontrolled. Her alignment was Chaotic Neutral. The force of the whirlwind.

Belldandy explained that her neutral alignment was why she had no visible facial chevrons for friend-versus-foe identification. She was neutral. She never took sides in our perpetual war with Niflheim. She was a wild spirit, free.

Then Belldandy volunteered that one day Takano had simply showed up at Chihiro's doorstep and gave her a 2 kilogram lump of pure platinum, with the proviso that the former leader of the NIT Auto Club sign a non-disclosure agreement about where she got her business financing from. Chihiro used it to get her dream off the ground, and Whirlwind was born. Takano only asked that a dividend check from the business profits be mailed monthly to Keima's home address.

I remembered that Chihiro and Takano met at the temple when Keima showed up. They seemed really friendly, played some board games.

Did Takano suggest the business name, Whirlwind? That cannot possibly be a coincidence...

Belldandy then prophesied that one day Keima and Takano would be reunited. I didn't see how that was possible.

_I'm a lost and lonely man_

_Without a star to guide me_

_Mariah, blow your love to me_

_I need my girl beside me_

That couldn't possibly happen, could it? I mean, the ban, the penalty, for refusing the Judgement Gate was absolute and eternal. No exceptions. And how could Keima possibly reconcile his love with a thing that wreaked so much havoc on humanity?

But there was something else I had to know first. Right away. Something far, far, more important.

"Keiichi, can I please ask you one more question? It might be personal again. I'm sorry."

"Sure, anything."

"Have you ever been seriously injured before? I mean major, like broken bones, a crushing injury, gone to the hospital? Anything like that?"

"No.. not really. Nothing major. Just sprains."

"But you race all those bikes. That's dangerous. You've never had a major wipe-out? Gone to the hospital with a serious injury? Not even once?"

"Uh.. no. I did hit a pothole once and I went flying over the handle-bars. It was a really scary tumble. I hit the pavement pretty hard and flopped around like Evel Knievel at Caesar's Palace, when he broke just about every bone in his body. I had a lot of scrapes and bruises, but nothing serious. Two witnesses saw the whole accident, and they said it was a miracle I wasn't seriously injured or killed. I was really glad I was wearing my helmet. You should always wear one, you know."

"Of course. Safety first."

"Yeah. Lind, what's going on? Who were you phoning in your head just now? What are you checking?"

Was it possible?

A miracle. I needed to know. I changed the subject. "Keiichi, do you trust me?"

"What? Of course. You know that."

"Then I want to test something. I'll try not to injure you, but you should be ready."

"I'm ready."

"Give your wrist."

"Okay."

"You feel that?"

"Yeah, pressure."

"How about now?"

"More pressure."

"Does it hurt now?"

"A little."

A miracle had happened.

This was going to work.

"Keiichi.. I'm exerting at least two metric tons of force on your wrist right now."

"What? Seriously."

"Honest truth. Oh my.."

"Wait... Really? You mean I'm nigh invulnerable like The Tick?"

"Yeah, I think so. You can get minor injuries or scratches, even major sprains, just like a goddess can, but nothing fatal. Nothing can seriously injure nor permanently hurt you. Nothing short of a direct attack by a magical or supernatural force can do that."

"So that explains why I survived so many Skuld bombs..."

"Yeah, heh. Oh Keiichi..."

"You mean this is going to actually work?"

"Your mother was a very special person, Keiichi."

{ Belldandy: I told you: 'You will know.' }

{ Lind: True. }

"You're kidding! I never knew!"

I did now. I really did. We both knew. I really started to tear up badly. Then I lost it completely.

"Yes!" I hugged him silly.

This was going to work.

{ Belldandy: This is amazing! }

Liar. She knew all along.

{ Lind: I'm so happy! Thank you Belldandy! }

Silence. She was gone again behind the firewall.

"Keiichi, I have a little proposition for you." I fidgeted. "I'm a little bit nervous right now.."

"Lind, you nervous? You're not afraid of anything. I mean, you stole the Death Star as a trophy and parked it around Pluto. After it shot you first."

"Well, I'm getting nervous now."

"When did this start happening? Getting nervous around me, I mean."

"That lake at the park - since I became your dorky eyeglass-wearing girlfriend instead of your guardian angel, you dumb idiot."

"Oh, heh. What's your, uh, proposition?"

Oh to heck with it. I gently pushed him down on the bed flat, then I straddled him.

He grinned, "Ok.. this proposition is definitely getting my attention..."

While straddling him I bent down and gave him an intense kiss, which he reciprocated. He worked his hands under my tank top and started to pull it up. "Wow, Lind, those battle scars.."

"It's not the years, my love, it's the mileage.."

"Mmm. Hey, why are you holding my wrists? This is kinky, but I'm not into that kind of stuff.."

"Very funny. I'm saying stop. We're both new at this. Let's do this right."

"Ah, so your, uh, proposition is.."

"Yeah, let's get married."

"That's a proposal."

Huh? "No, I'm making a proposition here."

"Yeah, a proposal."

"What?"

"Your proposition."

"Yes. I'm proposing a proposition."

"You're not propositioning me, you're proposing to me. And wait, aren't I the one supposed to be doing that?"

"What, you got your own proposition now?"

"Yeah."

"Who?"

"Sigh. Who's on first."

"What?"

"No, what's on second."

"I don't know."

"Third base."

Argh! He was so frustrating sometimes! He explained about Abbott and Costello later and apologized. I made him pay for it with several kisses as punishment, which he gladly paid. I am very strict, you know.. (Tease! Flirt! Wow!) This was wonderful. He was being Keiichi, of course, so I ground my hips on him a bit, just to annoy him some more. I'm such a tease! And I was definitely getting his attention.

I couldn't believe I was doing it. It's like I was a totally different person. The great Lind is a tease? A flirt? Who knew?

I was his lover. A real person. A real girlfriend. Someone who loved her man, and who wanted to be with him forever.

And we had so little time.

"Uh, Lind, you are really distracting me now."

"Good. Now shut up and listen to my proposition."

"Proposal."

"Stop that!"

"I'm listening."

"I need to test the Ultimate Force again. I might gag."

"Just don't hork up your lunch on my chest."

I laughed. "Here it goes.."

"Keiichi, my dear love, I don't know how much time we will have together. Months at most. I think three or four, maybe. Maybe a lot less. Maybe tomorrow. Hey.. I said it!"

"Sigh. I already figured that out a while ago."

Huh? "What, you did?"

"Yeah."

"How?"

"Well, you see, I'm really getting to know you, Lind. The way you've been acting since we got really involved. How you stare out the window, pick up a flower and try to burn the image into your mind, how you relish every stolen touch with me as if it would be your last. I know we don't have much time left. That phone in the hall is going to ring, and you will get your orders, and you aren't coming back."

I hugged him so tight. "I'm so sorry... I didn't want you to know.. I didn't want to hurt you.."

"It was what you were born for. Your purpose in life. Why you were created, remember?"

"Yeah.. my purpose." I was sniffling.

"Just promise me, that, when the phone call comes, that you give me a kiss before you leave."

He knew me. He really did. He knew I would never awaken him when that phone call came in the middle of the night. I would simply kiss him in his sleep and leave. Maybe with a token left behind on my empty pillow.

I was starting to get blubbery.. "I promise."

"Then I accept your proposition."

I snogged him so hard we both fell off the bed.

Just then Skuld walked by and looked at us disapprovingly.. "Get a room you two! Sheesh!"

And we laughed ourselves silly.

It turned out we had three months.

* * *

**A/N:**

If you have not figured it out by now, this chapter was inspired by the song _They Call the Wind Mariah_ from the musical _Paint Your Wagon_ (1969), starring Clint Eastwood and Lee Marvin. The song is rather dated in its musical style, and frankly it isn't that good. I picked it because of the lyrics. You don't need to listen to it.

The film was in a pretty rare genre: the comedy musical western. Wait a minute, a_ comedy musical western_? I mean, c'mon, who the heck at Paramount green-lighted that turkey of a film? Westerns were all but dead by 1969. The film was not MST3K bad, but hoo boy.

The musical featured Clint Eastwood actually _singing_ (ugh). And then Lee Marvin was actually _singing _(argh!). Ok, their attempts at singing weren't anywhere near as bad as William Shatner trying to warble a tune. But, hoo boy, that musical was nasty on my eardrums. It belonged in Eihwaz's karaoke machine in Hell.

You really gotta wonder what idiot was the casting director for that movie.

Let's see. In my imagination, if I ran Paramount Studios, I would have said something like this during the pre-production meeting:

"Ok, everyone, we need to film this comedy musical western!"

"What a great concept, boss! Nobody has ever done that before!"

"Thanks, Bob. I know. It's really original. Gonna be a box office smash."

"Yeah!"

"So, Bob, who do you think we should cast in the lead role for this big musical production!"

"Clint Eastwood!"

"Huh? Are you toking again, Bob? You gotta lay off the weed, man."

"Sorry."

"Who else?"

"Lee Marvin!"

"Dang it, you are going back into rehab right now. Guards!"

"Wait, put me down! Put me down!"

"Sheesh. Elsie, pick up the phone! See if we can time-travel Hugh Jackman down here to 1969! I hear he's great in _Oklahoma_!"

I mean, you gotta wonder what drugs they take in Hollywood sometimes.

* * *

**A/N Update:**

At this late point in the story I will reveal another example of the fifth kind of love. It is a short YouTube video from _CLANNAD: After Story_.

CLANNAD nails L5 love better than anything I've ever seen before or since - everything - the whole thesis. However, I have real misgivings about showing you this video. Why? See below.

**If you know nothing about CLANNAD:** Then you are really blessed. Just STOP and watch it COLD. I watched it cold and it left me spiritually shaken for days. I had to reboot and do a spiritual inventory, took awhile. It's that good. Even my SO started to watch (my SO hates my anime watching) and loved it.

There are two seasons of 24 half-hour episodes each: _CLANNAD_ and _CLANNAD After Story_. You need to watch both for it to really work on you. To watch it legally online in the United States you have to go to The Anime Network - the first two episodes are free to watch, and there is a small monthly subscription fee to watch the rest. Netflix has it on DVD only. Or just go buy the DVDs at Amazon (it's worth it). Or go find it free online (won't say where, not hard). If you do the latter, _do not read the comments_. They spoil everything. Buy the DVDs anyway just to say 'Thank You' to Key/VisualArts (and to Kyoto Animation) for the best romantic anime ever created.

Avoid the standalone anime single-film version. It was created prior to the TV series and it sucks.

**Try to watch the English Dub.** It is really good. The English dub has the best voice actors in the biz (Luci Christian and David Matranga). Don't listen to those otaku dweebs who always insist on the 'purity' of the Japanese subtitled version. In this instance the English dub is better. Trust me. (A few persnickety otakus dislike Luci Christian in this role because she usually does pre-teen young girl roles. But she's great - her high voice fits the character's shyness wonderfully.)

The first season (CLANNAD) is an above-average high school rom-com, stereotypical Japanese. The story is based on a computer Visual Dating Novel (it's a weird Japanese thing). Basically you are the protagonist, a high school senior named Tomoya Okazaki. You got to attend an expensive private prep school on a free basketball scholarship. You are a dashing bishonen delinquent senior. Despite your bad-boy reputation you are basically modest and nice. Yeah, you are total estrogen bait. Girls are chasing you everywhere. Like I said, it's a Japanese thing. You get to pick one of four girls who are the classic anime romantic stereotypes: the athlete, the brain, the tsundere, and the deredere. (There is also a moe, Fuko, but she's never a love interest.) And there is a fifth girl who is not chasing you at all, and in fact you don't even consider her as a candidate. This is Nagisa Furukawa. And of course she's the one. (I am not spoiling anything - that fact gets telegraphed obviously right in the opening scene of the first episode.)

You live alone with your drunken alcoholic father, who smacks you around, and you are trying to escape that hellhole based on your basketball sports ability. Nagisa is a very shy senior who was held back a year, and so she literally doesn't know anybody else in her class. She's all alone. She feels a bit afraid. Tomoya is a sucker for victims (he is one himself), so he takes her under his wing and basically shields her. He is doing it because that's the kind of gallant guy he is. He doesn't consider her as a romantic interest at all.

Of course the other four girls spot her immediately. The comic relief appears (Sunohara) and tries to hit on the four girls and fails humorously, hilarity ensues, yadda, yadda.

Our couple _never kisses or even holds hands, ever._ I'm serious. It's as platonic as it gets. Well, until the second season obviously, but you never see them do it (or anything else) on screen. That is what makes it so effective. Tomoya meets Nagisa's family, the Furukawas, and they are the most loving perfect married couple you will ever see, the complete diametric opposite of Tomoya's totally worthless alcoholic father. He is stunned. He doesn't even begin to know how to fit in. Think of the film _My Big Fat Greek Wedding_. That indie film made a bundle.

Aside: Can you imagine what a live film treatment of this story would do in the theaters? Yow! And the film budget would be something like $65.12 (less if JC Penny was having a sale that day). Some indie studio needs to buy up the film rights _now_. It would kick _My Big Fat Greek Wedding_ to the curb. I volunteer to help a WAG affiliated Hollywood screenwriter do it (the story needs major fixing in CAS Ep 22). Cast Jayden Smith as Tomoya and a very Japanese actress as Nagisa, and play up the culture shock between the 'hood and a rigid Japanese ex-pat family. Woo hoo! It would make a mint! I could write a fanfic to fix Ep 22, but I wanna make money on this one.. :-)

The second season, _CLANNAD After Story_, is where the story goes transcendent. There is a sequence of escalating wham episodes at the end: wham, Wham, WHAM, WHAAM! It left me on the floor. I am trying to reproduce that emotional 'wham' sequence here (except that my fic has a very different emotional arc).

One thing I want to point out: Notice as the story progresses that the ultra-shy Nagisa becomes stronger and stronger. By the end of season one she is quite strong and not shy anymore, and by season two she is as strong spiritually as anyone can ever be. Meanwhile Tomoya starts out emotionally strong, but slowly becomes weaker and weaker. That's all I will say.

**Very important: **The writers badly biffed the final 'real' episode in _CLANNAD After Story _(Episode 22). Be sure to watch the scene with Fuko _after the credits roll_. It is subtle, but it is absolutely critical and interconnects everything. Don't skip it. Watch it twice. Remember the opening montage in the 1st season, connect what you see here with that montage. And if you are still confused, google for 'CLANNAD timeline' and find the timeline diagrams and the explanations. It does work, but it was presented really badly in the story. I have an alternate ending that works much better and doesn't confuse the audience so badly. It requires some minor fixes earlier in the story, plus one non-trivial change. And my ending just rocks. Wow, I want to see it on film. It would make a mint in theaters. I'd ask for screen credit as script consultant, but it would blow my anonymity (drat).

Now, STOP READING. GO WATCH IT. SPOILERS FOLLOW.

STOP. I MEAN IT. JUST STOP.

STOP ALREADY!

* * *

Ok.. you still here? Then read on..

**If you have already seen CLANNAD** or you know the arc from spoilers, then I invite you to watch the following YouTube clip: Clannad: After Story (English Dub) "Into Daddy's Arms" by AsaLothario (about 4 minutes). The clip shows the reconciliation of Tomoya and Ushio. It is a beautiful scene. L5 love is really running strong in both of them.

If you haven't actually seen the series, I will give the background for this critical scene: Tomoya has literally never talked with his own daughter, Ushio, in the five years since she was born. The reason is her obvious exact resemblance to her mother (Luci Christian does both voices - so Ushio even _sounds_ like her mother). Tomoya has never resolved his hangups with what happened 5 years prior, so he refuses to even look at his own daughter because of the painful memories it triggers due to her exact resemblance to Nagisa. The Furukawas are raising her instead. He's reliving his dad's life, basically: drinking, alone, etc. He knows it, and admits outright to Ushio when they finally talk that he is a horrible father to her. She doesn't mind. The Furukawas manuever and force the pair together on a train ride to meet Tomoya's grandmother (his own crappy dad's mom, who informs him that his dad dived into alcoholism and self-destructed after his mom died young in almost exactly the same way). Tomoya finally reconciles with his daughter in this video clip.

It is ultra-powerful. If you are not in tears the first time you see this clip, then you are not human. This scene is a beautiful and touching example of L5 love in action.

And, as incredible as it may seem, the whams in CLANNAD at this point in the story are still rolling in, and they just get bigger and bigger.

L5 is very joyful too. Now, just so you don't think that all L5 makes you blubber, here is a clip of the funniest moments in CLANNAD. The Furukawa family is operating at the L5 joy-level most of the time. See Clannad After Story - Funniest Moments [HD] by 'xAnimeLuver01:3'.

The crazy Furukawa family is as joyful as it gets. It is very evident in this clip.

You see, L5 is not just about sadness and loss. It is about joyousness as well. Very much so. In fact the two are deeply interconnected. Later on I will explain how, and in the final chapter, why.

Just go see the whole thing.

-HuuskerDu


	22. Chapter 22: Lind Morisato: Wedding Night

**A/N:**

Yeah, I know. This looks like it will be a lemony chapter, but just read it. Remember, this is Lind we are talking about here. She is a total virgin and is almost completely ignorant about sex. She is being overly cautious and protective of Keiichi as usual.

I fade to black before anything interesting happens.

Sorry!

* * *

**Chapter 22: Lind Morisato: Wedding Night**

Even though I was Urd's doublet, I was still alive somehow. That meant that Urd must still be alive too. Good. Then there was still hope for her, a chance.

I didn't tell my daughter. No point in getting her hopes up about her oldest sister. One of two things must have happened, and I didn't want to disclose to her the second possibility because it was too horrible to think about. And if the second possibility has actually happened, well, I promised myself that I would be quick and merciful when the time came. I knew Urd would understand. She'd probably even help me if she could.

The was something else that I decided he was better off not knowing.

{ Lind: I'm not telling Keiichi about the identity of his mother. He doesn't need to know. }

{ Belldandy: I agree. And thank you. }

{ Lind: I understand. The sins of the fathers, or rather the mothers, should not be visited upon his head. }

{ Belldandy: He thinks his mother was a low-level goddess. What if he asks you about her identity? }

{ Lind: He won't ask. I know my man. We trust each other completely. If I'm not talking about something, he knows that there is a darn good reason for it, and he won't press me further. }

{ Belldandy: I approve. }

* * *

We got married in a very private ceremony at the temple. It was no coincidence the owner of the Tarikihongan Temple, Koshian, arrived back home from his lengthy pilgrimage the day before. He gladly served as our officiant. Besides the two of us, only Skuld was present as my maid of honor. We pressed Banpei into service as Keiichi's best man.

Skuld presented us with two very nice gold rings, mine with a diamond surrounded by a gild of small sapphires, his with sapphires with a small diamond inlay. The two rings complemented each other beautifully. We exchanged rings and kissed.

Keiichi was now officially Skuld's step-father.

We were a real family.

Belldandy later congratulated me. She then reminded me that we were on the clock.

{ Belldandy: Three months. }

{ Lind: I know. Be ready. }

{ Belldandy: I will. }

{ Lind: We're going to make the best of this. We're at the same level now. }

{ Belldandy: Yes. I detect love levels three and four are going strong between you. And... }

{ Lind: And? }

{ Belldandy: A prediction: The fifth kind of love will become strong in you too, before the end. }

{ Lind: Finally, a prediction I will gladly accept. }

* * *

It was our wedding night. We stayed at the temple, safest place. Skuld went to stay with Megumi overnight. She winked at me as she left with my husband's younger half-sister.

He was already in bed under the covers waiting for me. He's probably naked or something. I'm nervous...

I screwed up my courage. I was less nervous when I faced Galactus. "I'm outside the door."

"I'm ready. Come in."

So I did.

He approved.

You see, back during my boot camp, Peorth said that I must wear 'lahn-jerry', whatever that is. Then she inspected my wardrobe and tsk-tsked, and she offered to take me to Paris to shop for some. I said forget it, pick the best thing from what I got. She sighed and did.

So here I was wearing nothing but my totally risqué two piece bathing suit.

"Keiichi, I gotta caution you, Peorth warned me that our first time might be really awkward and kinda messy.. Please don't get too disappointed with me, okay? Please?"

I can't believe this. I've been looking forward to this for months, and now I kinda wanna put it off... what is wrong with me?

"Hey, I'm the nervous one here! If I can't perform Megumi will never forgive me."

"Don't tell her then."

"She'll know, trust me. One look at my face tomorrow and she'll know."

"Sigh, let's do this right then."

"Okay."

"What do we do?"

"Get over here. It's not like we've never been in bed together before."

"But that was always fully clothed."

"Your tank top..."

"Very funny. I yanked it back down again that first time, you remember? You were a very naughty boy.."

"Wow, those scars.."

I looked down at my exposed abdomen. "I already told you, honey, it's not the years, it's the mileage."

I lay beside him. We were both really nervous, so we just started gabbing for a bit to calm ourselves down. We had all night.

He touched the big scar on my abdomen with his finger.

"What's that one?"

"Uh, that was Hild."

"Looks nasty."

"It's not the worst."

"Which is that one?"

"This one. I pulled up the halter top on the left side."

"Yikes! That is right over your heart!"

"Yeah, I almost didn't make it. That one was really nasty. I was in a coma for like a month." I leaned up on my elbow. "You know, I had these really weird dreams, or maybe hallucinations, when that one happened."

"Hallucinations?"

"I think so. I was trapped in some strange white place, featureless, with a horizon that extended forever. Then it was like something or someone sent me back. I'm not sure."

"Sent you back?"

"Yeah. That's what it felt like. Like my purpose wasn't finished yet or something. That scar is really the worst."

"Wow. You almost died."

"Yeah."

"Tell me, where do goddesses go when they die?"

"Uhm, it depends on the goddess, I think. I really don't know, especially for those high level weirdos. Many claim to be immortal. Some might actually be."

"What about you? What will happen after, you know.. the phone call.."

"Keiichi.."

"I want to know. Belldandy told me about herself, and about me. That was amazing."

"Uh, she did?"

"Yeah. Wow. Did you know she's already there?"

Wait, what? She's still inside Keiichi's head. That didn't make any sense.

"Wow, no I did not know that. Uhm, are you sure you heard that right? Not 'I have always been there'?"

"Oh. Now that you mention it, no.. you might be right. You think that's it?"

"No info. Just a hunch. She's waaaay up there, you know that. I sometimes think she was always projecting her corporeal body from some higher plane. We are 10 dimensional beings, you know, so all goddesses are always projecting spatially. But sometimes I think she was projecting her physical body from whatever weird place where she actually dwells, probably some higher reality level. Much higher. I think her mother, Anzus, dwells in that same place. That's why we hardly ever see her. I'm just thinking aloud. But I really don't know. Maybe you heard it right originally. Dunno."

"What's way up there?"

"Hmm?"

"What's way up there, where Belldandy is?"

"Oh, Keiichi... that's running up the transfinite ladder of realities. That ladder is infinite. Who knows what's up there. I sure don't."

"That's too bad."

"Well, it's common knowledge Upstairs what is at the Top. The apex, I mean. We got that info transmitted down to our level of reality. Everybody knows about it."

"What's up there?"

"I call them the Kings of the Hill. The really Big Boys. Those suckers at the top really are immortal. The Kings of the Hill, there are three of them, some kind of trinity... well, that part I don't understand. Nobody does, really. All we know is that one of them came Downstairs to visit us a while back. It was an amazing Minnesota Fats bank shot. One of the best I've seen. Very minimal, very elegant. Just enough information transmitted down to establish the chain back to the top. I heard only 12 guys got that info. That's minimal. They got style up there, I'll grant them that."

"Wow. Belldandy already told me about that part."

Huh? "Really?"

"Yeah."

"Well, she would certainly know if anybody does."

"She really does. It was amazing. We talked, I confessed, she told me I'd be going up there."

"Well that's Belldandy for you. She knows."

"Yeah. What about yourself?"

"When I'm done, well, I'm done. That's it. Game over."

He sat up. "What? That's awful!"

I gently pressed him back down. "Relax. I'm a created being, Keiichi. A living tool. I was made for a purpose, and I do it. I'm most happy when I do it. The death ecstasy is my ultimate happiness. It means that I fulfilled my duty in the most perfect way that I can."

"But what happens after that?"

"Uhm.. well, I have a personal theory. I've seen more Valkyries die than anyone in history. I've held them, talked to them, comforted them. Each one is a bit different. Some are stunned and silent, wide-eyed. Others are afraid for a moment and then they relax with a gentle smile, and some well, some have that look."

"That look?"

"I dunno. That look. It's like they _know_. Some call it satori, others call it nirvana. They just know."

"Wow."

"My personal theory is that time stops. You see, we goddesses have a weird sense of time. We can speed it up or slow it down. Subjectively, I mean. If I had to sit and wait 400 years for something to happen, I can just do it. Sit. Then I slow down my internal clock, and then days, then weeks, then months, then years flash by in subjective seconds. 400 years is no sweat. That's why my subjective age isn't anywhere near my chronological age. And no, I'm not telling you my real age, chronological or subjective. That's personal for a girl."

"This is fascinating. Don't worry, I'll never ask you for your age. I already know that I'm married to a cougar."

"Wolf, honey, a wolf."

"Whatever. That time thing is neat."

"Yeah, well, the subjective control of the flow of time is a common ability Upstairs. Anyway, what I personally believe is that when I die my sense of time just, well, stops. I'm frozen forever in time, in that perfect moment, right at the height of the death ecstasy, feeling that perfect bliss, forever."

"That doesn't sound so bad, I guess."

"No, no it isn't. I'm looking forward to it. Oh, sorry.. that sounded insensitive to your feelings. I'm sorry."

"No.. no.. I understand. I'm just learning so much."

I snuggled closer. "We're both lucky people."

I held him and made a confession, "Keiichi, there is another reason I'm looking forward to it. I'm not just waiting for some endorphin rush. There's another reason.. I've never told it to anybody. Ever."

"You don't have to tell me."

"I want to. It's because I'm a little ashamed about it. More than a little. I need to make a confession."

"Lind..."

"I want to tell you, confess. Somebody needs to know. Look, honestly, I've lived too long. I have lived more than twice as long as any other combat Valkyrie in history. I should have gotten killed, like, at least ten times over by now."

"That just means you're good."

"Thank you, my love. Yes, I'm a survivor type. But I also kind of feel guilty about it. I have ordered other combat Valkyries to go on suicide missions when there was no other choice, but I've never ordered myself. I always stayed behind. That was hypocritical of me. Now I'm ordering myself. I'm not a hypocrite anymore, see?"

"Lind.."

"It's gotta be done. I'm okay with it."

And so we remained silent, each of us lost in our own private thoughts. I wrapped my body around him. We stayed that way for a minute or so, each in our own private reverie.

Then I got an idea.

It was my turn to sit up. "Hey, you know? I just thought of something. Since my personality has changed so much, maybe I'm not technically a goddess anymore, you know? Maybe I'm like you now, a person. So maybe it's possible I get the same destiny as you do. You think?"

"Uh..."

"Hey, I just thought of that. Maybe just before I die my 'angel' status gets removed, and poof, I'm a person. Just thinking aloud."

"I guess it's possible..."

"You sound skeptical."

"It's just what Belldandy told me. About beings like you. Sorry."

"Oh, nevermind then."

"She said you had to be 'promoted'. No idea what she meant."

"Really? Cool. Any idea how?"

"Nope."

And I knew Belldandy would never tell me. She'd just say, 'You will know' or something.

"Mmm. Anyway, that's all I know. I almost died from that nasty scar over my heart."

"So, who did that to you. Made that scar? Hild again?"

"Yeah."

"I really am starting to hate that woman..."

"Join the club." We laughed. Then I noticed he was staring at my halter top, which was still pulled up the whole time.

"Uh, Keiichi?"

"Yeah?"

I pointed _there_. "That's where it goes, right?"

"Huh?"

"It goes there, right? I can't believe I'm wearing this two piece suit. It's like obscene. How do women wear these on Earth? I mean, Peorth I can understand, but wow..."

"Lind, that is your belly button."

"What?"

"That is your belly button."

"Yeah, I know. You're looking right at it. Wow.. I'm really blushing."

"Uh.. Lind.. that's the wrong place.."

So I asked him where. And he told me.

"It goes *where*? Stop joking. That's gross. Try again."

"I'm not joking."

"You're serious."

"I think I am. You see, I have these porn mags, and.."

"Stop! I don't want to hear it!"

This was going to be a long night.

* * *

We talked for another hour about.. that topic. I was totally, totally, ignorant about the fishes and the wasps. At least one of us kinda knew what he was doing. Or so I really hoped. Then he goofed up, and I corrected him using the knowledge I got from Peorth's boot camp.

That got me really paranoid. If we were both _that_ ignorant, I wondered if we shouldn't take extra precautions before we proceeded for the first time. I remembered that awful night when I accidentally injured his left arm pretty bad, a nasty sprain, when I was thrashing during my nightmare with Hagall.

So I insisted he tie me up. He protested, but I was adamant. I was really paranoid that if I had that 'pleasurable epileptic fit' that Peorth had warned me about, if I totally lost control of my body for a few seconds, that my super-human strength might really injure him, even with his half-elemental physical protection against broken bones or fatalities. Anyway, I cut strips of fabric from one of my extra battle suits, then I ordered him to tie it really tight. He was worried about constricting my blood vessels, and I said don't worry. Make sure you get all four limbs, good.

And then..

And then..

What, you think I'm going to go into any further detail here? This is a 'T' rated story, you voyeur!

Go imagine the rest. Or go write your own side chapter over at DeviantArt. It's not like I can stop you or anything. Sheesh..

Anyway..

Fade to black.

* * *

Keiichi clawed his way up from behind the chair. "Ouch..."

"I'm so sorry! Keiichi, you okay!? Ugh.. I can't move to check you out! Dang it!"

"That was not what I expected.."

"I'm so sorry!"

"It's okay.."

Basically, at the worst possible moment I totally lost it and did an uncontrolled face-to-face german suplex wrestling move on him. I flipped him about 10 feet, behind the chair.

"Argh! Keiichi, I suck at this!"

"It's not your fault, dear.. honest.. at least one of us had a good time.. ugh. I'm going to the bathroom for some aspirin."

"I'm so sorry!"

He left.

"Wait.. you forgot to untie me, you idiot! Let me up! Argh!"

And so it went.

* * *

The next morning we were both sitting at the dinner table feeling pretty morose.

I sighed, "Peorth was right, that was awful. I'm sorry."

"Maybe next time."

"I don't know.."

"We can just use more ropes maybe?"

"No! Then we're back to me being a doll again. We agreed not to do that, remember? We gotta think of something else."

"But how?"

That was a good question. I was out of ideas. I completely flubbed _eros_ with him, and I silently berated myself regarding my failure. How could I help him experience level five when I couldn't even do level three? I never felt so worthless. "I am so, so, sorry, Keiichi. I mean, that was supposed to be our wedding night, and all I did was hurt you. Maybe all this was a mistake.."

"Lind.."

And it's all my fault. I was the one who insisted we get married first. My poor Keiichi, I've trapped you in an unconsummated marriage. What have I done? I'm a horrible person. "If.. if you want to have an annulment, I'll understand."

He quickly stood up and came around the dinner table. He bent down to embrace me, saying "No! I love you. We're staying together no matter what. That's what we promised each other, remember?"

I looked up at him and gave him a sad smile. That man is so wonderful. But he's just a man, and I can't make him suffer this way. "Then we have to figure this out somehow." I had to find a solution for him.

"But how? You gotta limit your power somehow."

"Yeah.. hey wait.."

"Limit your power.. hey.."

I jumped up from the floor mat. "Yeah! Limit my power!"

We both stopped and stared at each other for several seconds. Then I grinned like a maniac. I slapped my head, it was sooo obvious.

I jumped up and down. "Yes! Put a limiter on me! Of course! Why didn't we think of that!?"

"Maybe because we were kinda distracted with each other at the time..."

I needed to concentrate. "Shhh, honey, mama's thinking."

"You ain't my mama." We laughed.

Then he frowned. "Lind, don't think for a one second that I'm going to do _that_ while you are wielding your number 15 halberd like in some kind of Boris Vallejo fantasy novel cover painting or something. I'm not into role-playing a Conan movie, I don't do cosplay, and..."

I put my finger on his lips. "Ssshhh... Lemmie think."

It had to be a powerful limiter. Much stronger than normal. Basically it had to reduce my strength down to that of a mere mortal.

That could be dangerous. I needed to check with some experts.

* * *

I called Skuld back home.

I explained to her the problem. After she stopped giggling she agreed to help me. I then phoned Upstairs to talk with the best combat engineer that the Fighting Wings had.

"Chrono! I need help!" I explained the problem.

There was a pause. "You are so going to owe me a favor for this..."

"I will pay it! Anything! Just help me!"

"Okaaay..."

I told her what I wanted. Chrono was really worried. "Lind, you are talking about a grade 9 limiter. Those suckers are only used by Tyr, Anzus, and Hild herself."

"But a grade 9 would work, right?"

"I dunno Lind. The manual says that wearing a grade 9 can be fatal for anyone of lesser power. The calibration would have to be extremely precise. Your life force level would drop so low that you would be a whisper away from death. Your heart could stop, your breathing could stop!"

"We gotta try it. Can you please fax down the specs? I'll give your specs to Skuld so she can build one for me. She's the best engineer in Heaven."

"Sure, but really, Lind. You shouldn't be doing this."

"Just send it down."

She did.

Skuld did a wonderful job.

"Here you go Mom, your new official Fighting Wings dog-tags. All three of them."

"Did you engrave the words like I asked?"

"Yeah. That was cute. Nice touch."

"Thanks. Keiichi will love it."

"I dunno.. he's not that kinda guy I think.."

"Shush. He'll love it. Hmm, these tags are longer than I thought."

"That's on purpose. You see the break-off tabs along the bottom edge of each tag?"

"Yeah. I have Keiichi break off the tabs one by one until I regain conciousness, right?"

"Yep. But Lind, I dunno about this. I'm a nut for hazardous toys but, wow, this is crazy. I mean, I'm a wacky engineering bomb-throwing genius who tried to blow up Mercury, but even *I* think this is not a smart idea."

"We gotta do it... We won't know the correct calibration until we try it."

"It's your funeral."

"I'm used to it. Let's go find my dorky husband."

"Okay!"

* * *

He was more than a little worried. "Lind, I see the concept here... I break off these small snap-off rectangles until you wake up, right?"

"Right."

"But what if you don't?"

"I will. I'm a tough bitch."

Skuld piped up, "Nobody is that tough."

"Shush!"

He said, "I'm not doing it."

Dang it, Skuld! "Please, honey, do it for me. You'll wake me up. Just give me a kiss like Sleeping Beauty. I'll perk right up."

"Lind.."

"Pleeeasseee..."

He looked at Skuld. She nodded quickly. She wanted to see this.

"Okay, sigh. Lie down."

I did.

"I'm putting them around your neck now."

Blackness.

* * *

Wow, he was snogging me really hard. I could feel his lips mashed against my own, forcing my lips apart with his tongue. His heavy breathing was pulsing down into my chest. This is intense! Wow, he never kissed me that hard before..

Oh wait, he's doing mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Oops.

I started to gag and cough. I sat up.

"Lind! I almost lost you! You weren't breathing!"

"Uh.. thanks."

"*Never* do that again."

"Hmm.. let me snap off another tab and put them on again."

"No! Lind, stop!"

"There. Still awake. I feel kinda weird. Hey, I think it's working!"

I stood up.

"Lind, you shouldn't be standing right now."

"Shut up and come over here."

"Uh.. Skuld is right behind us you know."

"I don't care."

Skuld said, "Wow.. I get to watch, heh heh."

"Shut up you two pervs. Keiichi, sit down at the table with me."

"Wait, what?"

"Just sit, here, diagonally from me."

"Okay.."

I sat. "Now let's arm wrestle."

"Huh?"

I held my hand out. "Do it! Try to beat me!"

He did, easily.

"Ok, too strong." I snapped off another tab. "Again!"

He still beat me, but it took longer.

"Again!"

He barely beat me after an epic struggle.

"Again!"

I beat him in about 30 seconds.

"There! Perfect!"

"Hey.. Lind, how come you get to be stronger than me?"

"Because I'd never live it down with Celebine or the rest of the Wings if they ever found out that a wussy little dork like you was stronger than me, you idiot."

"Oh.." I started to giggle. Then he did. Then all three of us totally cracked up.

"Hahaha! Heh, phew.. uh, wait, Lind, I don't like the motto engraved on those tags: 'Property of Keiichi Morisato'. You're not my property. That seems really kinda sexist to me."

I yelled, "Lieutenant Skuld! Give it to him!"

She did. He looked down at the gift wrapped box and opened it. He had three identical dog-tags of his own, except they were made of plain aluminum. He looked at the engraving and laughed: 'Property of Lind Morisato, Goddess First Class, Combat Division.'

He put them on for me. All three of us cracked up again.

We were a real family.

He never took them off ever again, even after I was gone.

* * *

We were back in the bedroom.

Peorth always said that married sex is the best sex. It really was, and how!

Hey, what are you still doing reading this?

Go away!

This is private!

What, you think this story is rated 'M' or something? Skee-daddle out of here!

You still here?

Bah, go write this section yourself on DeviantArt or something. G'way!

Anyway, fade to black again...

* * *

**A/N:**

Ok, you'll just have to imagine what happened next, night after night. I mean, night after night after night after night...

Enough already!

* * *

**A/N:**

The next chapter was originally going to be the first chapter of the Final Four. But upon re-reading the whole story I realized that it was too abrupt. We can't go from our heroine's wedding night and then just jump straight to the Final Dive. Originally I just wrote 'Three months later', but that is going too fast. You need a breather, and our couple deserve some happy time together. They have certainly earned it.

I normally dislike pure fluff, but you need fluff at this point in the story. Also it helps counterpoint one of the major themes of L5 love: Yes, life has its sad moments, but that sadness is what makes you appreciate the joyful times all the more. It makes you want to really go out and experience that joy while you can (_carpe diem_). And if you cannot, it helps you really relish your memory of that joy. This is why you see old people blissfully staring into space in their wheelchairs. (See the third Yuko AMV that I cited in back in Chapter 18, which really nails this notion.)

Sadness and joyousness are deeply interconnected. This is a major theme in Tolkien's _Rings_ stories, and I believe that this notion is a Deep Truth in life. It is a major prerequisite to your understanding of L5 love. The final chapter dwells on this.

Our couple knows they have a short time together, which makes their honeymoon white hot in intensity. In fact it's so hot I'm justified in going to an 'M' rating. But I won't do it because I don't want to lose readership, even though the story definitely justifies it here. If I went 'M' it would not have been because I wanted to shove a bunch of lemons in your face gratuitously. I would have done it for real, and I'd have really widened your eyes about the awesomeness of married sex in a committed lifelong relationship. You won't _believe_ what I've heard with small-groups and other couples. I learned some amazing stuff (roleplay, toys, fake bar pickups, etc, just don't degrade your partner). Hoo boy, I could have shown you exactly why those couples always seem to have at least 4-5 kids. Ahem.

I mean good grief, the Song of Solomon would be rated 'M' on FanFiction. I was even tempted to cheat and paraphrase SoS and justify the abuse flags by citing that I was literally quoting the Bible, but I promised myself I wasn't going to throw any Bible stuff at you. It would make the story too bright. I keep all my fics at the C.S. Lewis / J.R.R. Tolkien level, and just stick with analogies and metaphors.

So I made the honeymoon really romantically crazy, wild, and fun (but clean). We need lots of frisky fun at this point in the story, because everything gets deadly serious in the Final Four, so the honeymoon is the last time we get to see it. Skuld needed some love too, so after the honeymoon I included a few quick sketches of family outings, just the three of them. And I didn't forget Banpei and Sigel.

If the Final Four gets too overwhelming for you, just stop reading at the end of the next chapter. Pretend that Keiichi, Lind, and Skuld lived happily ever after as a family. I did something similar while reading Danver's _Haloes_ at Chapter 34. I quit. It was just getting too dark and overwhelming for me. That is not a criticism. It is a compliment to his power as a writer.

I am very aware of the too-dark problem in the Final Four, which is why I include several asides in the final chapter to point out the yin/yang of joy/sad, and that Lind is really truly happy (she says it explicitly in this chapter), that this is a joyful time for her, and not just because she's completing her purpose in life perfectly, but also because of the amazing revelations that Belldandy discloses to her in the last moments that they share together in this level of reality.

-HuuskerDu

* * *

**A/N Update:**

At this point in the story I will clue you in that I am no longer channeling Terry Pratchett and _Discworld_. You probably already figured that out by now.

I am now starting to channel C.S. Lewis and his famous third Space Trilogy novel, _That Hideous Strength_. The transition is starting now in this chapter (Chapter 22), there will be a pause in Chapter 23 for some fluff, then we go full C.S. Lewis starting in Chapter 24.

Let me explain what I am doing. I am now using some of the same characters and plot elements as C.S. Lewis' novel _That Hideous Strength_. First, the protagonist is a seeker who is struggling to survive in a world that he/she does not understand very well (Mark Studdock, Lind). Second, this seeker has a devoted spouse who loves our protagonist but doesn't know what is actually going on, but is gamely trying to help (Jane, Keiichi). Third, there is a powerful ancient being floating around who seems to know everything, but is so far removed from our daily experience that they appear to be totally magical (the resurrected Merlin, Belldandy).

The protagonist floats between the real world and the edge of some weird supernatural place, where there seems to be great evil brewing. This evil is ready to explode onto the real world in a horrible way (The N.I.C.E. Headquarters opening the portal, Niflheim opening the Hawaii Gate). Finally, with the help of the supernatural being, our protagonist successfully blocks this evil, but at a great cost, which the spouse is prepared to let him/her pay even though it causes her/him great distress.

The major difference is that Lewis' know-it-all guide sticks around to the end of the story, while my know-it-all guide only makes a cameo in Chapter 17 (Elwin Ransom, Mrs. Kurosawa). I think Lewis over-played the Ransom character in this story, and he should have taken him off the stage earlier. This is because in real life you rarely get a know-it-all guide to escort you around in your seeker journey.

**Disclaimer about the Gnostic Heresy: **There is no gnosticism in this fic. I hate hate hate gnosticism. It goes all the way back to the beginning, where John himself had to slap it down in 1 John. I suspect Paul was also referring to the same problem in some of his letters. The problem of gnosticism is where you brag 'I got a secret, nyah nyah!'. It's human nature. 'I know something, you don't, nanny nanny boo boo!'

The problem is that this a human attempt to steal God's perogatives. It is a side effect of the Oldest Sin (Man trying to become God). I think the reason that gnosticism keeps popping up over and over throughout human history is because the real Kings of the Hill do have their secrets. And like kids we want to imitate our parents and do the same thing and brag, 'I've got a secret, nyah nyah!'. Now, you-know-who did once say, 'In my Father's house there are many mansions, if it were not so I would tell you.' He's being honest about it, see?. That's the Big Boys talking, and we will never know those secrets until we cross to the other side. But the Deep Truths that are accessible down here? The ones that we do have access to down here on this level of reality? They are all plain and obvious. All of them.

I hate hate hate Dan Brown and his best-selling book and film, _The Da Vinci Code_. Dan Brown is peddling the worst kind of snake oil. He is appealing to our natural desire to know a secret that nobody else knows. But on a spiritual level? I think he is lower than Judas Iscariot. He is leading souls astray for money. At least Judas had the decency to kill himself for doing it. This guy is living large on the backs of destroyed souls. If I was Lind's boss, and I had a list of jobs for her, I would rank Dan Brown a lower priority than Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Nero the Romulan, Emperor Palpatine, Sauron, or Rachel Carson (her overblown hysteria against DDT has allowed malaria to kill at least 50 million people to date), but not much lower. Total scum.

**All the Deep Truths are binary:** They are obvious to anybody with eyes and a brain, or they are absolutely hidden and we won't know until we go Upstairs. There is nothing in-between (Deut 29:29). A child can understand L5 love. Ushio understands it, and she is five years old. It's deep, but it's simple. All the Deep Truths work that way. They become obvious once they are pointed out.

For example, in my fic _The Final Act of Haruki Suzumiya_, in Chapter 4 ('The Key Observation'), I lay out a profound Deep Truth that can be expressed in just seven words. When Kyon hears Yuki Nagato speak that Deep Truth to him, he just stares for a moment, then he slaps his head and thinks 'It is so simple!'. The Deep Truth that I reveal in that chapter is something so basic, so simple, yet I have rarely seen it discussed, or even considered, in heavy-weight philosphical papers, even at the PhD level. I set up a logic box that traps the hard atheists totally and they have to squirm to break out of it. It's simple, really. All the Deep Truths are like that.

Now, I do play with secrets in this story for plot reasons. The 'Ultimate Force' in my story is merely a plot contrivance to keep certain crucial information away from Keiichi until the end of the story, nothing more. Lind pleads ignorance about the Big Boys because she literally doesn't know, nothing more. When Belldandy spills the beans in the final chapter, everything she reveals is obvious once you see it. You should have already picked up on many of the reveals yourself if you were paying attention to the earlier chapters.

**The purpose of this story** is to give you the head space, the gestalt, of the fifth kind of love. I use examples, analogies, metaphors, songs, plot, and YouTube videos. There is a simple and easy-to-understand definition of L5 love. But if I just tell it to you, it will seem to be trite and shallow, and L5 is anything but. Instead, I want to you to first get an emotional feel for Lind's head space, where she is coming from, her emotional view. She is a seeker. I assume that you are one too. She's trying to figure things out, and she is sincere about it.

**The fifth kind of love is a mandatory pre-requisite** before you can grow spiritually. I personally believe that an intuitive understanding of L5 love is the mandatory pre-requisite before any seeker can cross that line. If you don't have L5 nailed down, you are toast. Don't even bother.

To truly understand Christianity you first need to first understand what L5 love is and how it works. You don't need to be a believer. But you do need that intuitive understanding of L5 first, before you begin your faith walk. Don't bother trying to study theology, creeds, cathecisms, or other technical concepts until you have that figured out. Otherwise you won't make any progress (I didn't). John the Apostle explains L5 love in his gospel, and so does Paul in his letters. In this story that's all I am doing, getting your head space oriented, and really nailing down what I mean by L5 love. What you decide to do after that is up to you.

If you think you got L5 figured out, and you are ready to move on to the next step in your seeker journey, I encourage you to next try to tackle my heavy-duty 'left-brain' fic,_ The Final Act of Haruki Suzumiya_. Click on my name (HuuskerDu) at the top. (I also have a pretty interesting profile bio.)

And if you are having a personal crisis, or need resources, or you think you are ready to cross the line, PM me and I'll direct you to some good resources to continue your walk.

-HuuskerDu


	23. Chapter 23: Their Fun and Wild Honeymoon

**A/N:**

I decided at the last minute to insert one light fluffy chapter, this one. The reason is that otherwise the story would leap from the most joyful section (the wedding) right to the Final Dive. To me that seems a little too harsh a transition for you, dear reader. Our hero and heroine deserve at least some happy time together, don't you agree?

Well, this chapter is about those three wonderful months of bliss. It is totally fluffy, with very little plot progression. You can skip this chapter if you want.

* * *

**Chapter 23: Their Fun and Wild Honeymoon**

We planned our extended honeymoon. I talked to Skuld and she insisted we spend the entire three months on it. I strenuously objected. That was way too long. I insisted that we needed as much family time as possible. I said 4 weeks. Keiichi refused to participate, dang it. I kicked him (figuratively) and ordered him to take a position. We then all three had an extended and animated discussion. We compromised on two months. The third month we would spend together back at the temple as a family.

I was a little concerned about the length of time and asked Skuld if two months was what she really wanted, and she insisted it was. I then called Megumi to see if that was okay (I told her originally just 4 weeks), and she quickly volunteered to extend her temporary stay at the temple with Skuld for that extra month. I knew they would be well protected by the automated C^3 defense system. And Skuld knew how to work everything.

I gave Megumi contact information so Keiichi and I could come back in a hurry if there was an emergency. I neglected to tell Megumi how fast I could do that if I carried my man. It turned out it wasn't necessary.

Keiichi and I were standing by his bike. Everything was packed in null space and ready to go. I took the precaution of removing the demon power crystal and hid it null space. I didn't want Skuld to be tempted to take any more potshots at Mercury while we were gone.

Belldandy told me she was going to put herself behind the firewall until the honeymoon was over. As a goddess I knew that was easy to do. She would simply slow down her subjective sense of time and so the next two months would pass by in a few subjective minutes for her.

I mentally said goodbye to Belldandy. I got her to promise that, as soon as I returned, we would do some more reviews together of our strategic, tactical, and contingency plans. Skuld often begged to be included in our secret planning meetings, but we both said no. These meetings were private, just between myself and Belldandy.

I kissed my daughter. We cried a bit. Then she fake-kicked my ass and ordered me to get going with my husband. I gave her a mock dressing down for insubordination.

On a whim, I gave my daughter a field promotion from Lieutenant to Captain. She beamed and hugged me. I explained again the rank doesn't actually mean anything officially, but she didn't care. Later I learned that using her authority as an officer, she enlisted Banpei as an NCO and gave him rank of Sargeant First Class. Banpei painted the rank chevrons on himself with a permanent black felt-tip marker.

Keiichi and I left on his motorcycle. I was sitting behind him, holding his back. Mmm... his wonderful back. He smelled so nice. Most of the time while driving he was grinning, sometimes like a maniac. He knew we would be getting a lot of stares as we rode down the highways and byways of Japan, like Dennis Hopper and Peter Fonda in _Easy Rider_, except it would be a dorky little guy with a tall lanky hot 22-year old supermodel.

Skuld, Megumi, Banpei, and Sigel all waved goodbye. As we turned to wave back, I noticed that Banpei and Sigel were holding hands together. Finally, they got it. That was nice. I think it was because Skuld was now getting it too, and it was being reflected in their programming. Skuld claimed the pair were sentient now.

Maybe they were.

* * *

We ruled out a ship cruise, or a plane trip, or anything like that. Partly it was because we had limited funds.

The other reason is that I didn't have a passport. Apparently, he said that I needed a passport to leave Japan. I couldn't get one. I mean, if I applied for one, my date of birth on the application would be 2487 BC. Somehow I didn't think the Ministry of the Interior would have accepted that.

Now, I wasn't actually that old subjectively. (And no, I am not going to tell you my real subjective age.) But I still would have needed to produce my official birth certificate. I knew that my birth certificate was classified Upstairs, buried somewhere deep in Tyr's office under lock and key. I have always wondered what was written on that birth certificate.

So we just drove on his motorcycle. That was really the way we wanted to travel anyway.

Just for fun, a few days earlier before our trip, I showed Keiichi how to create and use his own private null space pocket to store stuff. At first I wasn't sure if it was Belldandy's powers or Takano's powers that allowed him to do that. Belldandy told me it was Takano's. Anyway, I showed him the magic hand gesture to open it, and the reverse gesture to close it. He was tickled pink. He kept saying, "I have a hole in my pocket!" He absolutely loved it.

He asked me how much stuff he could cram into it. I confessed I didn't know, but I suspected it was a lot. That man is a total pack rat, so I wondered what kind of old useless junk he would cram in there. I warned him about the location problem - cram in too much stuff and you can never find it again. I wasn't sure if he was listening to me when I cautioned him, oh well.

We drove for hundreds of kilometers. Eventually I switched to the side car, because he told me that he was getting a little physically tired of me holding his back and his having to keep himself steady and balanced like that for hours on end, and it was probably safer anyway. I also started wearing the helmet because he insisted. After that, we didn't get nearly as many stares from the passengers in other vehicles as we passed them. I didn't mind.

If was perfect riding weather. It was early summer, and the weather was beautiful and sunny. We first hit Osaka, then Nagasaki, then Yokohama, then Tokyo. We mainly bummed around the shopping and restaurant districts, doing window shopping or just walking around. I made sure to always wear my extra tight tank tops and sunglasses for my hot Linda Hamilton _Terminator 2_ look. With my gravity defying boobs, it always made the passers by gawk at us, or rather at me. Heh. He liked it too.

Just for grins we tried an hourly love hotel. Neither of us liked it. Too impersonal. And there were too many sad couples in the adjoining rooms obviously doing the wrong thing with the wrong person at the wrong age.

We tried tripping the lights fantastic in Kyoto. Keiichi needed some lessons, so on the second day we found a dance studio, and I taught Keiichi how to do it right. Spent five days there. He quickly got really good at it. (Hint: Good dance partners make the best bed partners.)

So for the rest of our honeymoon we danced a lot. We were the hit of the dance floor. We won a contest in Kobe.

We climbed Mount Fuji. An unexpected snowstorm hit, and I had to fly him and two other people down. I'm not sure how the other couple explained it. Didn't care.

We stayed at a bathhouse. Hilarity ensued when Keiichi got accidentally trapped on the women's side. (Why does that always happen?)

We watched an amateur sumo wrestling tournament. Keiichi was kind of bored, but I was fascinated. He had to drag me away from the sign-in station to prevent me from trying out. I even promised to keep my dog-tags on and everything, but he said no way. As we walked away, I mock lunged for the sign-in desk. He panicked and practically tried to carry me away. Tee hee.

We played in a video arcade. We found some kind of multi-seat simulator for dueling fighter-jets, air-to-air combat. I insisted that we dogfight each other, then he promptly shot me down four times in a row. This was an unforgivable insult to a 4-star Air Marshal, so I started to really work on figuring out how the stupid arcade controls operated. I refused to leave until I was able to kick his ass every time. Took me about an hour. Hey, we're in Japan. It's an honor thing.

Looking back, I remembered that he really enjoyed watching my sweaty consternation until I figured out how to fly the stupid contraption properly, and he yelled 'Hooray!' when I finally beat him. Phew. I'm glad we didn't do any bets on that one.

We stuffed ourselves into one of those self-photo kiosks and got some nice pics of ourselves. I had Keiichi make one nice wallet-sized photo of just himself, which I kept. I later asked Megumi to help me sew the photo into the left wrist of my battle suit, in a hidden flap under transparent kevlar, so I could look at it while flying.

Sometime later we did more pics again, but that time I started messing with Keiichi under the canvas. I think some of those pics will need to be kept private, heh.

We tried a beach in Matsushima. It was okay but not great. Instead we took a cheap boat fare from there to Okinawa that included steerage for his bike. The price was right so we took the opportunity and grabbed it. The beaches in Okinawa are waaay better than in Matsushima.

It was fun laying on the beach in Okinawa. I got the chance to finally work on a tan. (I'm pretty pale. I don't get much sun on my job.)

As I lay in the beach in Okinawa in my bathing suit, alongside my man, I was getting all these stares from guys who couldn't understand how this twerpy little dork of a guy somehow scored such a smoking hot tall lanky 22-year old supermodel girlfriend. I saw them gawking, so I started doing some PDA on Keiichi, snogging him on the towel, getting a little frisky. Then I'd pop up my head and grin at the other boys like a maniac, basically, 'you lose, suckers!' I drove those jerks crazy, heh.

I got up and walked over to the hotel's beach bar to buy a pair of lemonades. I got the ones with the little pink parasols in the glasses. When I returned, I saw that some huge muscle-bound jerk had just kicked sand in Keiichi's face. Apparently the muscle-head thought that my man was a 95 pound weakling or something, and he was trying to make a play for me. I sure fixed him, heh. My dog-tags were hidden under the halter top of my bathing suit, and I didn't even bother to take them off to deal with that doorknob. It was still too easy. Keiichi didn't even sit up or open his eyes.

The muscle-headed doofus had a cellphone and called the cops on me. What a twit. They arrived. Fortunately they didn't ask for my identification. I mean, hey, I'm in a bathing suit. Then the cops saw this huge muscle-bound guy whining about a slender girl (I was careful to leave no physical marks). They actually laughed at the jerk before they left.

After the cops left, I stuck out my tongue at him.

Hey! Did he just yell some kind of epithet at me as he left the beach in a huff? Keiichi wouldn't explain to me what it meant.

Oh well.

* * *

**A/N:**

This next section is a bit citrus-y, maybe more than I should. But I wanted to show the real stuff that actually happens in these kinds of marriages. I hate it when Hollywood thinks that we are a bunch of stuck-up uptight prudes. I'm trying to hint what really goes on behind those closed doors.

If you think I went too far, let me know and I'll dial it back.

* * *

We stayed two weeks in Okinawa at a very nice hotel at a reasonable price. It had a great kingsize bed, nice and sturdy, and the balcony was very romantic, and it really put us in the mood. We really started to fool around in that room during those two weeks. Not telling. Except that the walls were sound proof.

Basically, during our liaisons, anything went, as long as Peorth signed off on it first. Nothing that degraded the partner, or simulated anything violent or forced. (Bodice rippers ain't forced.. go read a romance novel.)

We went to a certain speciality store and bought some fun toys. We played with them. Not telling.

I did some fun roleplay for him. Not telling. (No, I didn't mess with my halberd. That thing is dangerous.)

Megumi had sewed some velcro for me. Not telling.

I practiced certain martial arts moves. Not telling.

I taught some of those moves to Keiichi. Not telling.

We fooled around alone in the hot tub. Not telling.

We tried fooling around in the ocean, don't try that one. Nor in a lake nor an unheated pool. The temperature was really... uncomfortable, 'nuff said.

We played fake bar pickup. That one was really fun. I arrived first. Ordered an O'Douls. I sat in the middle of the bar. I got hit on by about six guys in twenty minutes. Then Keiichi shows up. I swoon. We go home together. Everyone is staring dumbfounded. The bartender was smirking. He's seen this before.

We did many other things. Not telling.

(Hey, you starting to notice a pattern here? The point is, God gave you your spouse's body as a gift. It is a gift to each other. Enjoy it!)

* * *

It was our last day in Okinawa. Our two months of bliss were at an end. It was early morning, and later that afternoon we would embark on the ship that would take us back home.

Neither of us had woken up yet. With my eyes still closed in bed, I could feel the warmth of the rising sun through the window, shining on us together.

I had a hunch. With my eyes still closed, I whispered, "Keiichi, you're staring at me."

"I think you really are telepathic with me."

"Nope. I just know my man." I kept my eyes closed. "I know what you're doing. You're staring at my face from three inches away, trying to burn it into your memory. My face, my smell, my touch. To remember them all, after I've gone."

Silence.

With my eyes still closed, I touched his cheek. "Keiichi, when it's time, move on. That's an order from your guardian angel."

"I don't want to."

Still closed. "Do it. Like I said, that's an order. Don't pine endlessly for me. Give yourself enough time, then when you are ready, move on. I'm telling you the same thing Belldandy did."

"I never told you what she said to me. It was private."

"But she did, didn't she?"

"How did you know?"

"I guess I must be telepathic."

"I can't imagine a life without you."

"You couldn't imagine a life without her either."

Silence.

"Give it time." Eyes still closed.

His voice got a little bitter. "Great, so, then what? I just shack up with another goddess? Become a serial goddess lover or something? Or do I start accumulating rings?"

I finally opened by eyes, "I think the wish ends with me. Call it a hunch."

"I don't understand."

"Nevermind." I wiped the tear from him that was starting. I kissed him. "Let's get some breakfast."

I began to get out of bed. He then held my hand to prevent me. "If I asked you to stay, would you?"

"Yes. But we both know you won't, and why. Otherwise I wouldn't have fallen in love with you."

"I want this day to last forever. I don't want any of this to ever change."

I caressed his face. "Oh Keiichi, that is what every human was wished for from the beginning of time. To prevent change. Change is inevitable. You ever hear of a guy named Siddhartha Gautama? The Great Buddha?"

"Uh, yeah."

"I actually met the guy. Nice fellow. He told me that [bleep] happens."

"What?"

"[bleep] happens."

"I think you mean 'change happens'."

"No, he said [bleep]."

"Stop messing with me."

"Ok, maybe I'm messing with you a little bit. But what he said was true. Bad things happen, and it is inevitable. Life sucks and then you die. You just have to deal with it. Beings like you and me trying to create some kind of heaven on Earth is a fool's errand. Trying to prevent, deny, or hide from, sadness is the crux of many of the spiritual hangups in life. The guy told me it prevents satori. Oh, and remember that Minnesota Fats bank shot I was telling you about? That other guy who came later? I never met him, but I heard that he said that once you accept that, then through him there is a way..."

"Can we talk about this over breakfast? I'm getting hungry."

"Sure, let's go. And after that I want to catch one last hour on the beach before the ship leaves. My tan is almost perfect."

And so our wonderful, glorious, blissful honeymoon ended.

* * *

We arrived back at the temple.

As soon as I got back, I asked Celebine for a sit-rep. She said all green on Earth and Upstairs. (Downstairs, who knows?) I was being paranoid - I had demanded right at the start that I be kept on-call with the Fighting Wings the whole time. If some incident happened while I was away, I wanted to get report in case I needed to wake up Belldandy and deal with it. Apparently there was nothing to report for two months. Yeah, right, uh-huh, sure.

There must have been at least some minor incident that had happened somewhere, but apparently Celebine wasn't talking. I wouldn't put it past her to have deliberately kept me out of the loop the whole time just so Keiichi and I could enjoy our honeymoon in peace. Anyway, Belldandy woke up and I checked in with her. I told her there was nothing to report, demon-wise.

So Keiichi, Skuld, and I got ready to spend the final month together on a big family vacation. Belldandy insisted on going behind the firewall again. She said she'd make time fly again so it was no problem. I graciously offered to have her stay out and watch, but she wouldn't hear of it. I reminded her of the deadline and that she had to wake up at least one week prior so we could do our final planning. This was because there was some uncertainty as to the actual date, plus or minus 5 days or so (our best guess). She agreed with everything and disappeared again.

The family did parks. We did Walt Disney Japan (that was kinda expensive). We had a fun fishing excursion. Skuld actually caught a decent marlin. I was a bit skeptical and wondered if she was cheating somehow, but I never caught on to whatever wacky fish-finding device she must have been using. We ate good that week.

The days went by blissfully.

But we were all silently watching the calendar.

The end of the third month was approaching.

We didn't know exactly when it would happen. Maybe a 12 days from now, maybe 2 days from now. But very soon.

And so, per our prior agreement, that night Keiichi and I went alone back to the park where we first kissed.

We waited for the moonlight. We stood by the lake. In the gentle breeze the water lapped next to our feet. We talked a lot. Private things. Not telling.

We kissed.

What I did not realize was that this would be our very last kiss standing together.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Sneak preview of the end of the story: **The final lines of this story, in the final chapter, will be my version of the poem _High Flight_. It reflects Lind's feeling of transcendent joy at that moment, at the apex of the Final Dive.

The poem was written by John Gillespie Magee, Jr., an American pilot in the Royal Canadian Air Force who died during WWII at the age of 19. The poem is a favorite of many aviators and astronauts.

If you are of my generation you would have heard this poem read aloud hundreds of times on television, as the official sign off for the end of the broadcast day. Most TV stations in the United States used this poem in their nightly sign-off (typically between 9pm and 11pm local time), between 1959 and 1969.

The nightly sign-off used some stock footage of an F-104 Starfighter. The F-104 Starfighter is a gloriously beautiful aircraft with a very distinctive tail section. As a child, I saw this craft fly hundreds of times on a small black-and-white television.

The actual footage of the nightly TV sign-off is quite difficult to find today, and only a few scratchy copies actually exist anymore. I found a poor copy on YouTube at HIGH FLIGHT-1960'S original, by leomannpictures. The audio is scratchy, but the voice still comes through very clear.

There are at least one hundred comments posted underneath this clip on YouTube, mostly from people of my generation bringing up very fond memories of this sign-off. Be sure to read the comments, as some of them are very moving.

Anyway, listen to this clip, and you will hear Lind's final thoughts at the very end of this story.

* * *

**A/N:**

**The story is now being locked down.** I have gone back and re-wrote many of the previous chapters in order to set up the Final Four, to add hints and clues about what is coming up. If you haven't read the prior chapters in a while, I suggest you now go back and re-read the whole thing. If you don't have time, then just review chapters 7-8 and 12-22.

I always re-write. I'll probably be fiddling with stuff in this story a year from now. Yeah, I know, It's a bad habit. I will try not to change major events nor do major surgery, but I'll be tweaking lines, punching up dialog, adding descriptions, back-filling a plot hole, adding lengthly A/Ns, and so on. It's just how I am. I write my commercial software the same way. I never finish. It drives my clients crazy that there is a new minor version popping up on my website for download like every few weeks or months, even for established titles.

The Final Four were locked down a long time ago. Here's a pro tip: Always write your ending first. It is depressing how many famous authors and Hollywood screenwriters botch their endings. (Jun Maeda, I am looking at you. _CLANNAD_ was perfect until your ending confused everybody.) Try to make your ending as awesome, epic, and magnificent as you possibly can. Don't worry about how you got there. Don't worry about plot yet. Then write your story backwards to hit that ending. Make it a logical progression right from the first chapter. I write everything that way and it works.

(Aside: You know, I kinda wonder if God works this way too. Plan out history's end first, then work backwards to hit it, I mean. I am not doing the Book of Revelation in this fic because I'm doing the Norse Ragnarök instead. The Book of Revelation used to baffle me, because it looked almost like God failed or something, but then I realized the the whole thing is a demonstration exercise. It all goes back to the Oldest Sin: Man trying to become God, this time being led down the garden path by the Antichrist, which nicely counterpoints Satan's original attempt all the way back in Genesis. And you gotta admit it is a pretty spectacular way to end the story.)

Great, now I'm fiddling with the Final Four. I shouldn't be doing that.. I sound like a hypocrite. Now, I'm not messing with the plot (uh, much). The end plot was decided right at the start, the very first thing I wrote for this whole story (see above). Rather, I am working mainly on mood, emotional response, and hitting the right notes for showing L5 love in action, this time with explanations of what is going on.

-HuuskerDu

P.S. Please continue to PM me regarding any typos that you spot, even if you find one a year from now. My dyslexia and high speed reading style simply prevent me from noticing them no matter how many times I re-read an old chapter. I'll fix them if you point them out. Thanks again.

P.P.S. Please, please, I still need your reviews/favorites/follows! Thank you so much, and God bless.

* * *

**A/N:**

**CLANNAD Clip: The Strength of Nagisa**

If you have not seen CLANNAD yet, then stop reading now.

JUST STOP. Go back and re-read the A/N about how to watch CLANNAD in Chapter 21.

STOP!

* * *

You still here? Ok, here it goes:

In our continuing series of video clips that demonstrate the fifth kind of love, I want to show another one from _CLANNAD After Story_. It is the scene were Tomoya proposes to Nagisa

This clip shows the sheer power of the fifth kind of love when it swings into action.

The clip begins with a very low point in Tomoya's young life. His crappy alcoholic father was arrested for dealing drugs and was tossed in prison. This means that Tomoya is now homeless. Worse, because of the sensitivities of Japanese honor culture, Tomoya loses his big job promotion because his bosses are afraid that his father's arrest might cause a scandal for the company. So basically Tomoya's alcoholic father has wrecked Tomoya's life a second time. The first time was when the doofus attacked Tomoya with a broken vodka bottle and destroyed the ligaments in his right arm, preventing him from ever fulfilling his dreams of becoming a college varsity basketball player. His free scholarship to the prep school was based on his ability to play.

So Tomoya has lost his basketball dream, and now he is also homeless, dishonored, and loses his big job promotion. He is understandably pissed. So what happens? Nagisa swings into action and literally pushes him against the wall to try to stop his impending self-destruction. It works, and Tomoya realizes how badly he needs her now, and so he proposes marriage to her right in that dirty alley. She accepts his proposal despite Tomoya's admission that he is weak (which is true). Nagaisa counters that she is also weak (she is not). Then she accepts, because although they are both weaker separately, "But I think if we're together, we can grow stronger." She is absolutely right, and so Tomoya breaks down and hugs her. This is the most physical contact that we will ever see between the couple during the entire series. Tomoya will soon move in to live with the Furukawas temporarily until the couple can establish their own place to live.

This YouTube clip is called Clannad AS - English Dubbed Scenes - Tomoya proposes by Terezi Pyrope (3:03). This the English dub (which I prefer).

Watch Nagisa carefully in this clip when they reach the alley. Note how strong and confident the previously timid Nagisa has become at this point, even though she claims she is weak too, which I think she does to help calm down Tomoya.

This small and physically frail girl is the one who is grabbing and holding this big guy to keep him from falling down in that back alley, both figuratively and literally. She is an anti-enabler.

That, my friends, is an example how L5 love can give someone very powerful strength when they need to call upon it.

Tomoya is starting to decline at this point, and he will eventually crash completely.

* * *

**A/N:**

Please, I still want your story Favorites/Follows/Reviews. I don't want this fic to drop into a black hole after I publish the final chapter. We need to kick up the rating to keep it visible long term. Remember, I'm competing with 600 other fics in the OMG section.

Thank you again for your reviews and your inspiring PMs.

-HuuskerDu


	24. Chapter 24: A Scarred Soul

**A/N:**

This is the first chapter of the Final Four chapters.

* * *

**Chapter 24: A Scarred Soul**

{ Lind: Well, it's about time. Any day now. A week maybe? }

{ Belldandy: I'm not sure, but sadly, yes. }

{ Lind: Ok.. Can I ask you a question? }

{ Belldandy: Yes? }

{ Lind: I just wanted to ask, do I have the fifth kind of love yet? Do I have it, like you have it? }

{ Belldandy: You have some. But there is more you need to do. I think you will have it all very soon. }

{ Lind: Sigh. So I don't have it all yet.. }

{ Belldandy: No, but you will. And you will know what to do. }

{ Lind: I really wish you would stop saying that. Everybody says that to me: you, Peorth, even that old woman who sat on the park bench with me. }

{ Belldandy: But it's true. }

{ Lind: Well, at least I now fully understand _eros_ as well as I do _agape_. I mean, good grief, I could probably give Peorth herself some tips on _eros_ now. }

{ Belldandy: Goodness, yes. In some ways you know Keiichi so much better than I do now. You're been through so much, Lind, those scars, our time limit, you are so strong. }

{ Lind: No, I'm not strong. I'm just muddling along the best I can. He is too. That's why this is working so well. We're the same, him and I. }

{ Belldandy: I think that's true. A few more days. Be ready. Goodnight. }

{ Lind: I will. Talk to you later. G'night. }

* * *

And so it began.

She was wrong.

It started that night.

It was late, and Skuld was already in bed.

I told Keiichi I would catch up with him in the bedroom in a few minutes, that I had a few extra dishes to clean. He left me alone in the kitchen.

Belldandy had only Keiichi's ears to hear and his eyes to see. I had to gamble on that. I made sure that my love was gone and out of earshot. You see, our bedroom is in the far room down the hall. Good, he was going to bed. She can't see or hear me now.

I put my dorky glasses on.

And then.

And then, in that empty, lonely, kitchen, with not a soul in this universe watching me, I wrapped my arms around myself, and closed my eyes tightly.

And I fell into despair.

I started sobbing. Silently, slowly at first, with my hand over my mouth to keep myself quiet, then stronger, then almost violently. I had to keep quiet. She must not hear me. I used both hands on my mouth. I forced myself quiet.

I then staggered backwards until I bumped into the wall, trying to keep myself quiet. Then I slowly slid down the wall until I was on the floor. I was absolutely wracked with silent sobs.

I was in absolute and total despair.

What have I done?

Belldandy, what have I done to you?

I broke the rules. I tried to save you.

And then Tyr became so angry with me.

Now I know why.

I broke the rules to save you. What have I done? Belldandy, how can you ever possibly forgive me?

Because you literally can't!

Not because you don't want to, because you literally can't!

I gave you a living death! What are you now? Oh, Belldandy! Belldandy!

I forced myself to sit cross-legged on the floor. Then I started rocking back and forth, back and forth, with silent tears flowing like water, staining the floor. Rocking back and forth. I kept sobbing and sobbing and sobbing. All in silence.

For you see, I had figured it out. I was never meant to figure it out. I was never meant to figure out that I had committed such a terrible crime. I was never meant to know. Because if I had figured it out, I would have killed myself.

I was supposed to believe that my punishment for Bonding the goddess that was Belldandy was to serve out Keiichi's wish. It wasn't.

I was simply mitigation, to help Keiichi reach his final destiny as originally planned. It had nothing to do with me. That it was punishment for me was just an ironic bonus.

This wasn't about me at all. It was all about him.

I was sent to replace Belldandy so that he could finally unite with a goddess as originally planned. I just happened to be the best replacement available.

Keiichi would have never loved Peorth. He would have detected her sophisticated falseness and he would have rejected her.

But I was genuine. I was chosen as the best replacement because of my inability to lie and because of my naiveté. He would appreciate that, and therefore he would learn to trust me and finally accept me as a lover.

It was that simple. It was a calculated decision, made by remote and high celestial beings that I could not even begin to understand.

But none of that mattered now. For I had committed a terrible crime.

I can't help Belldandy now.

But I have to save my man.

Because I love him.

There is only one way. I deserve to die. A small fitting price to pay for my crime. One of the worst crimes ever committed against another sentient being.

I have to save him.

It would be easy.

I could just embrace him tightly, have him look right in my eyes, and announce, "Belldandy is alive inside your head, she's not a ghost, because she's been right here the whole time."

She can't kill me outright like that, he is holding me too tight, and he is looking right at my eyes. But she could teleport me away into a sun, and he would never know. I would literally disappear from his arms before I could finish speaking the sixth syllable of that sentence.

But he would catch on. I know my man.

He would catch on, and he would figure it out almost immediately. I know him. I know he would. And the cat would be out of the bag.

And then what would she do? She could then reveal herself and make up any story she wanted. But what story? And would she go that far? She wouldn't, never. But in her current state? Yes, she could.

For you see, Belldandy was completely insane.

That was the whole problem.

Belldandy's squeeze into Keiichi's skull was too tight. I remembered when I first checked her out just after she woke up. She said it was a tight fit, that she had to dump a lot of memories, but that she was basically okay.

It was not true. She lost too much of herself when I did the Bond. When I checked on her after Keiichi awoke I had thought she was mostly intact, but she wasn't.

You see, her strong mind had fooled me into thinking that she was okay, that she was mostly there.

She was lying.

Hagall had mixed in the truth with her lies: Keiichi's brain had far too little mental capacity to hold the mind of a first class goddess. Enough to prevent the psychic rejection of the Bond, perhaps, but Belldandy was still forced to jettison most of her memories, her personality engrams, her experiences and her knowledge.

Most of her mind.

Only a small fraction remained.

That was why Tyr was so angry with me. I had violated a very important rule about the Bond.

I had made her insane.

This is why we goddesses have rules, and why they must always be followed.

Tyr firewalled her for Keiichi's protection, no other reason.

As she lay dying in Keiichi's arms, she had only seconds to pick and choose which of her personality engrams to keep, and which to jettison. Which memories to keep, and which memories to discard.

She had no time to pick and choose carefully. She had to grab whatever she could, as fast as she could.

The problem was that at the center of Belldandy's wonderful heart, which burned with the strength of a sun, contained a tiny, tiny flaw. I saw it when I got a glimpse of her True Form, when I temporarily Bonded a tiny fraction of what remained of herself to me, I saw five great undulating wings, not six.

The sixth wing was slightly deformed.

And so alone, in silence, sitting on that quaint kitchen floor,

I completely despaired.

* * *

An hour later.

I still had not opened my eyes.

Why was I even wearing my dorky glasses still?

I forced myself to meditate, even though I was still sobbing occasionally. I didn't do any zazen at all, and the breathing exercises were of course useless.

How did I figure this out? I was not supposed to.

What insight did I have that they did not expect? Tyr knew about Belldandy's true condition. And someone like him leaves nothing to chance. Neither does Belldandy for that matter.

How did I figure out something hidden by the gods themselves?

And then I barked a bitter laugh. Belldandy might have heard that, oh well.

I knew why.

It was because I was just a girl wearing dorky glasses, and I loved a dorky guy.

It was because I was a person.

I saw everything like a real person, like a mere mortal, down at their level. To someone like Belldandy or Tyr, mortals are just ants, and those exalted beings are looking down at us. Now, they can squat in the dirt and play with us, help us build our little anthills together, even try to understand things from our perspective, even wash our laundry and cook for us, but they can't literally look at an ant from another's ant's point of view.

Because they don't know how.

But I did.

You see, I had spotted something that the gods all missed. It it was so obvious and simple. It was _because _it was so obvious and simple that the gods all missed it.

But I didn't.

For you see, Belldandy remarked about the scars on my abdomen.

I barked another laugh.

All I had to do was blurt out those seventeen words quickly. He would hear enough before I suddenly died, and that would be it.

No.. wait..

That's the fourth kind of love talking in my head. My innate level, _agape_, self-sacrificing love.

I was _too _ready to die. Wait.. I am being selfish. Killing myself to save him like this would be.. yes.. a _selfish_ act.

That was the fifth level of love talking in my head. It trumped the fourth level.

What was going on inside of me?

The fifth kind of love. It was activating.

It told me to not sacrifice myself for him. Do not speak those words.

But then what? What do I do? I don't know what to do!

It said I needed help.

But from whom? I can't contact anybody. Belldandy would know. She would intercept any phone call I tried to make. And if I just ran off she would get suspicious. Besides I would never leave him alone like that, knowing the dire danger he was in. She was too unstable, insane.

I had to do something. Right now. Tonight. I can't hide my feelings forever from her. The next time she tried mental contact with me she'd know something was really wrong. Then she'd press my mind, and it would come tumbling out of me that I knew her secret. I could never block my mind from her if she pressed me, even though committing a mind rape is a flagrant violation, and the punishment was death, she would do it to me if she suspected. She wouldn't hesitate. She's just too strong for me to block, and once she discovers that I know her secret I would instantly die.

But what do I do?

I don't know what to do. I can't contact anyone for help.

I am all alone.

I forced myself to meditate again.

* * *

Another hour passed by.

I still had not opened my eyes.

Nothing.

I did some zazen and breathing exercises.

Another hour.

Nothing.

I gave up.

And then suddenly I remembered. Just like that. How did that just happen?

I laughed quietly.

Our song. Our secret love song. The one I had sung to him so many times when we were alone. The song I quietly sang into his ear, almost as a whisper, usually just after we made love.

Of course. The lyrics to our secret song. And so, for the very first and the very last time in my life, I offered up a prayer. And to my complete surprise I immediately received an answer. I smiled like an idiot. Is it really that simple?

I understood. The Ultimate Force would have stopped me from speaking those seventeen words. If I tried I would have choked and gagged, then Belldandy would have become immediately suspicious, and the jig would have been up.

I was a fool.

Thank you for telling me.

Thank you.

* * *

The fifth kind of love began to flow within me. It was pure power. Incredible. Transcendent. Bright, and blue. The hidden fire.

And then.

And then.

I _knew_.

This was Belldandy's true power. And now it started to flow through me. It began to surround me, and embrace me. A great power, bright blue, neon blue, burning blue. Not the red fire of destruction, but the blue fire, the fire of creation itself.

And from it I learned a deep truth.

I was not alone.

I had help that I could call upon in my uttermost need.

You see, back during the angel-eater attack, this was the power that Belldandy called upon to convert a demon into an angel. That should not have been possible.

It is the power that allows a mother to lift a car from crushing her child underneath.

It is the power to be near our dear departed loved ones, and to even speak to them.

It is the power of purest joy. It is the power of the most heartbreaking sadness. And now I knew that they were interconnected in a deep and profound way. For in this world, in this reality, joy cannot exist without sadness. For sadness is needed first to truly appreciate joy.

It is the power that underlay all the other four kinds of love. Indeed, they are only the merest reflections of the fifth kind.

For the fifth kind of love is the quintessence of love itself. The quintessence.

It is strength, guidance, protection, advice, defense. None of it earned or deserved.

For this power was love itself in its purest form.

A gift.

Freely given.

To me.

I knew.

And so I finally began to understand. Belldandy's secret plan. Her plan was one of genius. Like all the best plans, her plan was so simple, so elegant.

She would have her beloved Keiichi back.

And he would never know.

Her plan was now obvious to me.

Belldandy is amazing. Like the Big Boys, she was going to shoot a Minnesota Fats bank shot, hit the bumpers, bing bing bing, and then sink the ball. So elegant. So simple.

And so wrong. But she could not be held accountable when she committed her crime. Because she was no longer rational. And if the other thing I suspected had happened, then she was, by now, far beyond that point. Far, far beyond.

And it was all my fault. Completely my fault.

And so I deserved to die.

But, as I said, I have to save my man. Because I love him.

So I started going to work on my own plan against her, a counter-plan.

I had to fool and outwit a mad goddess. A goddess who, however diminshed her mental capacity, was still formidable, and who was far, far, more clever than I was.

I needed to tip off Keiichi in such a way that she would not notice, so that he could figure it out before she could try to stop me. And I couldn't use words.

And thus, in my own mind, I developed my counter-plan.

I continued to plot my counter-plan for another 15 minutes. Then I reviewed it in my mind. It was really risky, but it just might fool her. I would still very likely die, but at least this way it would be far less likely that Keiichi would die as well. Instead only I would die. But I was still not certain that in her madness she would not kill us both when I exposed her secret. Still, it was the best that I could do.

I was ready.

I stood up and finally opened my eyes. I saw that the faintest glow of morning twilight was peaking through the window. I heard the song of the early morning starlings singing sweetly outside.

And for a moment, I looked at the light glowing over the temple, and I listened to the birdsongs. I tried to burn them into my memory.

For I knew it would be the last morning sunrise that I would ever see.

* * *

**A/N:**

**So what is it all about, anyway? ** Ok, here is the whole enchilada, the entire philosophical edifice that I lay out in my heavy-duty hard-core techno-philosophical fanfic, _The Final Act of Haruki Suzumiya_, and in a more emotional way in this fanfic.

This is the short version.

1. God definitely exists. And I can prove it. Hint: The Hubble Ultra Deep Field. The UDF is impossible without a super-finely tuned matter density gradient and alpha opacity function that is absolutely perfect. The UDF does _not _require the Anthropic Principle. (AP is the last, desperate, refuge of the cornered atheist.) The UDF is basically God showing off. I think He likes to do that a lot.

2. We are living in a universe created by Him. Our universe has basic minimal rules and structure (a closed simulation, like a video game.) Ask a physicist how elegant and minimalist it all is. Gravity is the ugly duckling of the four forces, seemingly a standalone force, with weird behavior at cosmological distances. I believe that was needed to make it all work. (Dark matter is a design hack.) Meanwhile, dark energy gives us the Big Rip, which is a totally cool way to end the story. It will be visible. You will literally see the galaxies dissolving one by one, then the stars, then the planets, then the Earth itself. Again this is God showing off. (See a pattern?)

3. Item 2 implies that a higher level of reality exists somewhere (running the video game). Call this Heaven, or whatever.

4. Item 3 implies there is no way for you to reach Heaven on your own. It would be like a video game character trying to step out of the screen. (Secular Humanists and Gene Roddenberry think this way.)

5. Item 4 implies you must be pulled up. No way to get there on your own. Instead, God shoved His own hand inside the screen, over 2000 years ago, to grab us and pull us up. Why? Dunno. Charis. (Aside: The difference between Christianity and Buddhism is that I think God wants friends to chat with. The Buddhist wants to merge with the Godhead and lose self-identity.)

6. I strongly suspect there is a chain of these higher realities, possibly transfinite. God lives up at the top, the apex of this infinite ladder. (The Continuum Hypothesis is true.) Why? Because the math is elegant, and it is the only way for Georg Cantor to defeat Kurt Gödel. But it requires CH for it to work. The atheist denies CH. That is an unsupported and unprovable assumption. (It is really fascinating how the atheist/deist divide strongly correlates to each mathematician's position on CH. See the Wikipedia article.)

7. God is definitely watching you. Why? The video game analogy. But there is an even better way to prove it: Observation is the key to Quantum Mechanics. We are living inside a closed QM system with a collapsible wave function. So who collapsed it? Answer: Whoever observed us from outside the box. So, like Schrödinger's cat, we are alive and not dead. We are literally alive because of Him. (That's a pun.) Yeah, I'm oversimplifying a bit. Observation is the key to everything. I say 'I think, therefore I am,' and since I am aware of myself right at this moment, therefore somebody must be observing me doing it. QED.

8. God wants a relationship with you. Why? Because you are hardwired for it. You feel it. You are an instinctive seeker. No other animal thinks this way.

9. God is as close as your heart. (The whole point of this fanfic.)

That's basically it.

You can work out the rest for yourself. God gave you eyes and a brain. It's all obvious. You can work out all the deep philosophical questions of life from the above: the question of free will, the two-way communication backchannel called prayer, the problem of evil, how salvation really works, pretty much everything.

(Aside: Hard macroevolution is the last redoubt, The Alamo, of the cornered atheist. At this point I am like Santa Anna and his Mexican army, I got you surrounded. Basically macroevolution is right but it is also wrong. I plan to tackle that one last. Actually, I don't even need to bother.)

You need to get the above numbered items under your belt first. Otherwise you will never get anywhere, and you are toast.

And then _after_ you got all that nailed down, go ahead and pick up an NIV Bible and start with the Gospel of John. He really gets it, the gestalt, the head space, the intuition, the heart, better than anybody. Basically, Christ is a hack to make it all work, the same way that dark matter is a hack. (I use the word 'hack' in the following sense: Not an error or a mistake, but a necessary special modification to make it all work. For example, the kludgy van der Waals force is a hack to support life: to make proteins fold right and ice float in water, so that ocean-under-ice worlds like Europa can support life. I'll explain that later sometime.)

And there it is.

**How to start**: To start your seeker journey at step 1, go see the following YouTube video, **the most important video ever created by mankind:** The Hubble Ultra Deep Field in 3D by Deep Astronomy. Watch this video carefully. Remember the UDF requires super-fine tuning of the mass density gradient and the alpha opacity function (it should be a fog or all black). The UDF nails down item 1, and everything rolls forward from that item. Or just look out your window. It's all simple, really. The Deep Truths are always that way.

It's all obvious. Everything is obvious. A child can see it. The answer is not 42, but it is kinda close.

**The end of the story **is called the Big Rip. It will be totally cool to watch. See New Estimates May Adjust Universe's Date for "Big Rip" Fate by slatester, and Dark Energy Are We Alone? by ScienceChannel. Dark energy is a hack to make the end of the universe really cool. Yes, we really could zoom forward in time via a near-FTL spacecraft and visit Douglas Adam's _Restaurant at the End of the Universe_, and watch it all go foom while drinking champagne.

God really has style.

-HuuskerDu

P.S. All this leaves Islam in the dust. Islam is a tribal war religion (the dar al-Harb) that infantilizes its believers. God is love. Allah is fascism. Any society based on it is based on mutual suspicion, lying, hate, and mistrust (Sunnis vs Shiites, taqiyya, deception to push the faith, etc).

* * *

**A/N Update:**

**The Epilogue is finished. **I just finished the Epilogue (Chapter 28). It happened again. Just like Chapter 18, it wrote itself. I didn't write it.. something just.. took over my fingers. It's magical. Wow that chapter is as good (in its own way) as the Final Four. Did not expect that.

You see, I write in a very high speed (200 wpm) stream-of-consciousness style, basically with my eyes closed. (I'm nearly blind, don't need eyeballs to write, only read.) Somehow I banged out a 3000+ word epilogue without even realizing it. The story is over at this point, so there is no need to worry about plot mechanics or interconnects.. just end the story on a nice happy note. And what a note! I had a silly grin for the rest of the day. Still do.

Basically, the epilogue takes place several years in the future. It's just Skuld and Keiichi now, as the rest of the family is now sadly gone. They are now an old married couple. This shouldn't be a spoiler, as I telegraphed it heavily in Chapter 19, and if you've seen the last episode of AMG Season 1 you should have already known that, if Belldandy left the stage, and after Skuld mellows out and basically grows up to become a virginal Snow White with some mild PMS issues, that it would probably have happened sooner or later if it was just the two of them. At this point Skuld is now fully mature, and the new Norn of the Present is now the most powerful surviving goddess, after Ragnarök had wiped out all the original L1s on both sides several years earlier. (Ragnarök triggered her SORAS.) Again, this fact was telegraphed a lot in the story.

(Aside: I kind of have a sneaking suspicion something like this is going to happen in the mangas, given #299: Belldandy simply becomes human and thus survives Ragnarök, and they just elope into the sunset. I hear Vegas has a drive-thru wedding chapel. Meanwhile Skuld runs what's left of Valhalla and Urd takes over Niflheim. End of story. The problem with my theory is that Urd didn't resolve at all, and Hild is still around. Something is off.)

I suddenly had an epiphany about how Skuld's relationship with Keiichi could take a totally unexpected positive turn. Woooow... it works soooo well. I already established that Skuld will one day know the Five Loves better than anybody, even Urd or Belldandy. And now she does, and it's even organic to her character now (at the start of the story she is the most emotionally stunted character). So I back-patched it into the ending (Chapter 27) to link it up. Perfection.

The same thing happened when I wrote Chapter 18. I was struggling to figure out a way to get Lind to cross the line and plant one on Keiichi, but make it believable for both of them. I had already established way back in Chapter 8 that Lind wore glasses in her hated office. It was only for humor value. I was basically just riffing on General O'Neal in _Stargate SG-1_, another General who hates paperwork and also wears glasses only when he has to, and signs everything without reading it.

And then I wrote 'hot 22 year-old supermodel with no imperfections whatsoever'... but she wears glasses.. hey.. that's a contradiction. I need to fix that. Then I had my epiphany.. don't fix it, that's the solution to get them to kiss! Yes! I then closed my eyes and banged out a 4000 word rough-draft in about 30 minutes, re-worked it a bit, and essentially had it finished in under an hour. Chapter 18 is still my favorite.

The same thing happened with the Epilogue. Boom, epiphany. Write it! And as it was rolling out I remembered that Takano and Keima need to reconcile per Belldandy's prophecy. Got that in. Then of course since Takano helped Chihiro finance Whirlwind, I needed to give you an update on her company (she's buying out Harley-Davidson at this point.) Then Chrono with Troubadour!? Girl you need to not be so needy... And it just kept going and going.

And then Yuko and Yu exploded from my original three paragraphs into a full sub-chapter with major riffs, circling all the way back to the original phone call of the AMG series. It's happening all over again. What a way to end it! Wowowow. I even found the perfect song (similar to the_ Oblivion_ ending song that I scatter all over my Haruhi Suzumiya fics) that kicks the Epilogue into the stratosphere: the song _Angel's Wish_ on the album_ All Things New_ by Steven Curtis Chapman. It is now the official ending song for _Fifth Kind_. The song style is perfect (ballad), the mood is perfect (wistful), and the lyrics are truly perfect:

_And someday I'll sit down with my angel friends_

_Up in Heaven_

_And I'll tell them a story_

_Because I know things_

_The angels only wish they knew_

**Chapter 28: Epilogue: A Tale of the Two** is now complete. Wow.. Skuld is the Norn of the Future. And Keiichi is right there with her, helping her.. it is perfect.

-Huusker

P.S. That coda is so nice, I gotta make a separate story out of it. So I expanded it up to chapter length and then published it as a separate standalone crossover story: **Oh! My Angel Yuko!** You can find this story in the OMG crossover section. Or just click on my handle above (HuuskerDu). The coda in this story is much shorter, and worded more humorously, to fit the style of this fic.

I just had to do it. Poor Yuko so very badly needed some fanfic author to finally to give her some love and a happy ending. Yuko, you deserve it.


	25. Chapter 25: The Dance of Death

**A/N:**

This is the second chapter of the final four chapters.

* * *

**Chapter 25: The Dance of Death**

I silently entered our bedroom.

To my complete surprise, Keiichi was up and wide awake. "How bad is it? You can tell me. Don't try to hide it."

My face was a wreck, streaked with dried tears. I said meekly, "How did you know?"

"Because I know you all too well, my love."

"Too well?"

"Too well. I knew as soon as you dismissed me from the kitchen. You were hiding it really, really well. I mean really well. Nobody else in the world would have caught it but me. I could tell that something inside you was really busting you up badly. There was nothing visible, but I could feel it. You were really in distress. I suspected you just got orders to leave me, to run off on your big suicide mission. So I decided to wait up until you came to bed to see me one last time. I decided I wouldn't try to go into the kitchen. I would just wait here. I've been sitting up waiting all night for you. I was starting to get worried you'd just run out and leave me. But I know you too well. Before you would sneak out, you would first return to secretly kiss me goodbye in my sleep. I was waiting for you to come here and do that."

He knows me better than I know myself. "I love you so much. Please hug me?"

And so, he stood up and he did.

I closed my eyes as tight as I could in our mutual bear hug. I still had my limiter dog-tags around my neck. I had to. Belldandy would have immediately sensed if they were missing.

Wearing those limiter dog-tags meant that I was completely vulnerable, no better than a mortal.

And I was now trying to outfight and outwit a mad goddess.

He was tense, he read me again. He knew something was going on, that this was life or death, right at this moment, although he didn't know what. I had to gamble that all this was going over Belldandy's head right now. That she doesn't know why I'm preparing to die in his arms. For all Belldandy knew, maybe I really did just get the orders to go on our suicide mission. It was even plausible. More than plausible.

He knew what was at stake. I carefully kept myself calm as I opened my eyes, and I looked straight into his own. He read me a third time. Good. He's ready. His eyes were like diamonds. He was so strong.

He was trying to say something. He whispered in my ear, "Whatever it is, I'm ready. I trust you completely, just like I did Belldandy."

Oh my love. "Just dance with me. If you love me just dance with me. Please? Do you remember how?"

"But there is no music."

I let out a puff of breath on his face.

"Then I'll try to sing our secret love song."

And so I did.

I started to sing our private love song, _A Moon Filled Sky_. The violin part.

[**A/N:** I now invite you to please listen to the song, _A Moon Filled Sky_. Go to YouTube and search for the video named The Most Beautiful Melody In The World by 'x3m slayer' (42 seconds). This video has 3 million views on YouTube. In the video, the bottle of brown fluid that you see standing upright next to the violin case is gasoline. The violinist, who is dying, is going to burn his violin in the next scene and never play again. -HuuskerDu]

I prepared to sing our secret love song.

And then it began.

The Dance of Death.

It began.

I tried to sing, but my voice was breaking badly.

_With the courage to live_

He turned me clockwise 30 degrees. (I knew he would turn me clockwise, not counterclockwise. I know my man.)

_The future I will embrace_

He turned me 30 degrees more.

_Into the breaks in the clouds_

He turned me 30 degrees more.

_I offer my prayer_

He turned me 30 degrees more.

Then I grabbed him in another bear hug, squeezed shut my eyes as tight as I could, and waited to die.

* * *

I'm still here.

I wasn't dead.

I still waited with my eyes shut.

We're still both here.

She didn't kill me. She didn't kill us.

She was completely insane, and yet enough of the original Belldandy remained. I thought for certain I was going to die at that moment.

I relaxed the hug. Amazing. Even in her utter madness she spared me. Wow, she is something else, that Belldandy.

I looked into the stricken eyes of the man I loved so much. "You see yourself in the mirror now?"

"Yeah. I have Belldandy's marks on my face."

My puff of air on has face allowed the marks to fade back in. Belldandy couldn't see it because she could only see things through Keiichi's eyes.

And she saw _everything_ through his eyes. Everything. She was always watching. Everything. She lied about hiding beyond the firewall. She was watching every act of physical love, every act of love between myself and the love of her life. It was like she was sitting on his shoulder like a mini-chibi, watching us the whole time.

And that was why she was now beyond insane.

And my man worked it all out, like I knew he would. It took him only a couple of seconds. He spoke to the ceiling, "Belldandy? Are you there? I know you're here! You are inside my head somehow, aren't you? Come out! Please talk to me!"

I waited.

Nothing.

I became worried. Did she self-destruct? What happened to her?

So I spoke to Belldandy's mind. I spoke the words to her mind. The words I spoke came directly from the fifth kind of love that was now inside of me. I now had it. The fifth kind of love. It was now operating within me, kindling, a blue fire, starting to grow bright and strong, burning with life.

{ Lind: Belldandy? I'm sorry. We all need to talk. All three of us. Please come out. I won't hurt you. He loves you more than me, even now. I know it. It's true, I know it, and I don't mind. Please, come out. Be with him again. Be with the man you love. I will turn him over to you, right now. }

And, I added silently to myself, thank you for not killing me.

No response.

I need to do it. Either she will stop me or she won't.

I said quietly, "Keiichi, you can't hear her. Not like this. I have to move her mind into myself. Then she can project her incorporeal image again, and you can talk to her face to face like you did the first time when I was unconscious, when you thought she was a ghost."

"She's here.. Belldandy is here.."

"Yes, my love. Let me see if I can bring her out."

I gently laid him on the tatami mat. "Please, close your eyes. You will feel a bit dizzy for about 60 seconds, but you will be fine. Try not to move, and try not to think of anything if you can. It helps the transfer go more easily."

I knelt next to him and kissed him, then I bowed forward in a posture of supplication. I mediated. Then I did it.

And for the entire time, Belldandy remained completely silent. I couldn't read her emotions at all. Well, after the Bond I sure will. Here it goes.

Now, she could have blocked my Bond. She didn't. The point-down equilateral triangle of three small circles on my forehead glowed white.

The transfer began.

My mind exploded again. But this time I was ready for it. I knew what she really looked like. It didn't overwhelm me this time.

60 seconds. The transfer was done. Keiichi sat up dizzily. I caressed his head and said, "No, wait a moment. You're too dizzy to get up yet." The transfer out is much less traumatic than the transfer in. He was fine.

{ Belldandy: How did you know? }

{ Lind: I have the fifth kind of love now. Using it I was able to understand. }

{ Belldandy: And I have it as well. And how did I miss it? I couldn't have. }

{ Lind: It is simple. I am a real person now, with all the flaws that a real person has, limits, humility, vulnerabilities. And I also have the fifth kind of love. You have that love as well, but you are still functioning way up there. Don't you see? That is why I was able to spot it. I am so sorry, Belldandy. I love you so much. But don't you see? You aren't a real person, like I am. }

{ Belldandy: I see it now. }

{ Lind: Good. You really catch on fast, you know that? You're so wonderful. You are a wonderful, glorious, loving, giving, generous, kind-hearted, self-sacrificing, beautiful, caring, devoted, abstraction. I'm a flawed person wearing dorky glasses who loves a dorky guy. That's the difference. }

{ Belldandy: The sixth wing. It is slightly damaged. }

{ Lind: Yep. I was able to finally understand what the damage to that wing really was, what it really represented. }

{ Belldandy: Lind, you are so wonderful. And you've taken care of him so well. Thank you so much. }

{ Lind: You're still in denial, aren't you? }

She was silent.

{ Lind: You have to tell him. }

She was silent.

{ Lind: I can tell him myself. Or will you just kill me? You won't. You would have done it already. Tell him. You know it's the right thing to do. He will understand. It will actually strengthen your relationship with him, by an incredible amount. }

She was silent.

{ Lind: I will share him with you. I'll give you control of my body. I'll even try to meditate and not listen in. You can be with him. Make love to him. Fully, at all levels of love... }

{ Belldandy: NO! NO! I WILL NEVER SHARE KEIICHI WITH ANYONE! NEVER! }

I was flung sideways against the wall.

Keiichi jumped up, "Belldandy! Stop it! Stop it now!"

{ Belldandy: NO! NO! NEVER! NEVER! }

My body was being flung up to the ceiling and down to the floor, violently. Then even harder. My leg hit the radiator incredibly hard. I felt a blast of pain. I looked. My left leg was now amputated below the knee in a ragged tear.

With my limiter dog-tags on I was being critically injured. She was killing me. Well, this was more painful than I expected. I waited for the death ecstasy to kick in. Goodbye, my love.

Keiichi dived on top of me, grabbed my head and stared right into my frightened eyes. "Belldandy! I know you are in there! Stop it! Stop it now! Or I won't love you anymore, you understand? I won't! Stop it!"

That did it. My body fell in a broken a heap on the floor. Keiichi picked me up.

He carried my broken body to the bed. Just as blackness overcame me, I felt a kiss on my lips.

Then I heard someone yell "Mom!"

* * *

Am I dreaming? I think so. How did this dream start? You never remember how a dream starts, only how it ends.

In my fevered dream I heard a voice in my head. And it was not Belldandy.

{ Tyr: It was not your fault, my dear Lind. }

{ Lind: Uh.. Sir..? }

{ Tyr: You would have never done that. Bond her into Keiichi, I mean. It made no sense for you to do that. }

He was right, I would never have done that. Belldandy needed to be instantly Bonded into a compatible mind, as soon as possible, the one most suitable for her, a first class goddess that loved her, and that whose mind was most closely aligned with her own.

I should have Bonded her into myself.

{ Lind: You are right! Why didn't I simply Bond her into my own head? Why did I pick Keiichi? That was foolish, stupid. Why did I do that? }

Am I really that much of an idiot?

{ Tyr: You had no time to think. You saw her dying in his arms. Your mind was focused on both of them. You were greatly distressed. But if you were thinking just a tiny fraction more clearly, you would have realized your mistake. But you were prevented. }

{ Lind: Prevented? }

{ Tyr: It was Belldandy. It was Belldandy's one single flaw, her jealously. It was unconscious. }

{ Lind: Sigh, yes. Her jealousy. }

{ Tyr: Her jealousy. You see, if you Bonded her into yourself, she knew, perhaps unconsciously, that eventually she would be literally watching over your shoulder as you made passionate love to the man that she also loved so dearly. Should could not bear to witness that. }

Of course. He was right. And she couldn't just hide behind a firewall. Tyr firewalled her in Keiichi's mind to protect him. She couldn't hide like that inside of me, so she'd be forced to watch our every physical act of love. No, it was worse, she could _feel_ our every act of love, our ecstasy, and yet not participate herself.

{ Lind: Yes. She would have been locked in my mind, watching as I loved her man, even feeling it, while she just sat there, all alone, watching it all, in a mental jail of pure torture for her. }

{ Tyr: Sadly yes. But it would have been far worse than you realize. }

{ Lind: Far worse? }

{ Tyr: Yes my child, far, far worse. For you see, eventually you would have loved that pure man even more than than she herself had, with a stronger bond of love. I would have allowed you both to pass the test of Judgement Gate. Then I would have unlocked the _eros_ in you both. With all levels of love fully active, with levels three, four, and five fully aflame, they grow on each other, feed on each other, your sexual love becomes a reflection of your selfless love, and your selfless love becomes the reflection of the True Love, and then it feeds back down again, in an ever growing cycle of strength. Your love for Keiichi would have exploded, and it would have surpassed the heights that Belldandy knew she could not even imagine. }

{ Lind: I got it. So, as she lay dying, and I was starting to think about Bonding her, her jealously must have suddenly woken up, perhaps unconsciously, and she instantly realized what might possibly happen, what must _never _be allowed to happen. It must not, would not, could not. }

{ Tyr: Sadly no. It must not, would not, could not. Or so she believed. }

{ Lind: And so Belldandy planted a suggestion into my head that she be Bonded into Keiichi. And I was so rattled and panicky that I never even noticed. I let her mental suggestion take hold inside my mind without my even thinking about it. }

{ Tyr: Yes. }

So, at her subliminal mental suggestion, I violated the rules, and I Bonded her into the head of the man she loved.

I even believed it myself afterwards. That I did the right thing. I was in denial, because otherwise the thought of what I did would have been too horrible for me to bear. So my unconscious mind blacked it out. Or perhaps Belldandy had a hand in that too. It didn't matter.

{ Tyr: I do not believe what she did to you at that moment was a conscious choice. Do not fault or admonish her for it. For I love my daughter more than you can possibly know, and my heart is broken, and I do not blame you, nor her. }

It was like a tragedy right out William Shakespeare. We were all guilty, yet every act was done out of love: Belldandy for Keiichi, of myself for both of them, Tyr for us all. We each contributed.

Back in Goddess School, I would often fall asleep in class during Human Literature Studies whenever that insufferable English playwright was discussed. I bet that balding 16th century bastard would have loved what happened. He could have even written a play about it: _The Tragedie of Belldandie_.

{ Lind: I understand now. Thank you for telling me, sir. }

{Tyr: You deserved to know the truth, my dear angel. }

{ Lind: Thank you.}

There was silence.

I was still sleeping.

There was more silence.

I could still feel Tyr's presence in my mind.

He wasn't leaving.

He's waiting for something.

That meant there was more.

Ah, he is waiting for me to ask the obvious question.

{ Lind: Did you arrange for her to die like that? You did, didn't you. Both of you. You two planned this all. I'm certain of it. }

More silence.

{ Lind: You did. You were kicking off the preamble to Ragnarök. And you sped up the timetable waaaay fast. You advanced the timetable from T+1000 years down to T+100, then down to T+1, then immediately. It was the only way to kill Hild, wasn't it? She was gunning for you, trying to kill you and replace you with Belldandy, then somehow control her mind using some ultra-high level spell, or using Hagall, or some other method, and thus control Valhalla from Downstairs. Pull all the strings from behind the curtain. That's her style. She was setting it up, it would happen right now, so you had to stop her. Right now. }

More silence.

{ Lind: But you couldn't allow that to happen, to have Heaven ruled by Hell. She had to be stopped at any cost. So you started the sequence to kick off Ragnarök. You did it. You pushed the Big Red Button. }

{ Tyr: No. You are wrong. }

{ Lind: Then who did? }

Oh.. oh.. I got it!

{ Lind: Aha! It was Hild herself, wasn't it? Trying to kick off Ragnarök! That nasty bitch! }

{ Tyr: Yes. }

{ Lind: But wait, that's stupid. She'd die. She knows that. All first class entities will die in Ragnarök, including her. }

Nothing.

He was waiting for me to work it out myself.

Ooh... Urd is second class! Of course!

{ Lind: Ah! Ah! Ah! She's operating at a high level too, right? Like Belldandy herself. So that means Hild must have a combat license, demon class. Just like Belldandy has a combat Valkyrie license even though she never joined up. That means Hild can Bond too! Am I right? Am I right? I'm right, aren't I? }

{ Tyr: Yes. And please calm down. }

{ Lind: So she was going to Bond herself into her daughter, Urd, and hide there! Of course! She would hide during Ragnarök, hide in Urd's head, while _all_ the other first class entities died. All of them! On both sides! And then all she has to do is emerge and pretend to be Urd. And I betcha she could dominate her daughter's will, which by then would probably be 100% daemon anyway. Hild's strong mind would overwhelm Urd, tip her over to her dark daemon half, her chevrons would go from blue to red, and Urd would _join_ her mother and rule jointly! I got it! Hild is so obsessed with family, and she always wanted her daughter to be her successor. And now she would! The new Hild!Urd would become the new first class leader of.. of.. absolutely everything! Nothing could stop those two! }

{ Tyr: Yes. And I said please calm down. }

It was so blindingly obvious.

{ Lind: That sneaky, sneaky bitch! Ooh.. she's good. So Belldandy sacrificed her life to make sure Hild stayed dead, permanently. That bitch is finally gone. }

{ Tyr: Think. You are wrong. It is obvious. You should have known that immediately after Belldandy died. Hild was not in fact dead. }

I did a mental facepalm.

{ Lind: Of course. The doublet system. How did I miss that? }

{ Tyr: Do not distress yourself. I must go now and prepare. Good bye. I am sad that we will never meet again, at least not in this level of reality. Perhaps in another. Farewell. }

{ Lind: Goodbye. I love you. }

{ Tyr: And I love you too, my dear angel. }

Then, just then, he said one more thing. One last thing. The last thing I would ever hear from him.

{ Tyr: So now you know, yes? The great secret. The great secret that is not a secret. You know everything, yes? }

{ Lind: I do. Perfectly. Level five is running 100% inside me now. Clear as a bell. You explained everything to me. Thank you. }

{ Tyr: Goodbye, my love, my dear Lind, my angel. Remember to breathe in the light at the end. }

{ Lind: I will. Goodbye. }

He was gone.

* * *

I awoke.

Keiichi was holding my hand, with bandages, towels, and a tourniquet on the left leg. Skuld was holding my other hand. I was out for about 30 minutes. I saw that Keiichi had removed the limiter dog-tags from my neck. I waved my arm and instantly healed my broken body. I reconnected the leg. That was close. I had serious internal bleeding and my blood pressure was almost zero. I almost never woke up at all.

While I was unconscious, Belldandy projected and talked to both him and Skuld. Keiichi said that Belldandy told them that I was going to die in a few minutes, and that she herself would therefore soon die as well. She was saying goodbye for real. Skuld was an emotional wreck. Keiichi was in distress, but not nearly so bad. I know how strong Keiichi really is. I knew that in his own way he was stronger than any god or goddess I had ever met.

For you see, I know my man.

Everything was going to be okay. I wondered how I had lived. Then I saw that Belldandy was somehow sane again. I smiled inwardly as I heard her endless apologies, which I graciously declined as unnecessary. As I did so, I offered a silent 'thank-you' to whatever or whomever it was at that stratospheric level of reality that had spared my life, and had brought back her sanity.

Then I put my limiter dog-tags back around my neck so that I could then I hug my man as tightly as I could.

...

And Belldandy's projection did too.

* * *

**A/N:**

Now, imagine the tableaux above. Keiichi is being hugged simultaneously by Lind and Belldandy together. Lind's clothing is torn and bloody. Belldandy is semi-transparent.

Perhaps someday, some kind person with some artistic ability in Adobe Illustrator could draw this tableaux for me. If you could do that, I would be very grateful. Full credit of course. I'll let you decide if Lind should be wearing her heavy black-rimmed eyeglasses or not. (The eyeglasses might confuse viewers who don't know the story.)

* * *

**A/N:**

The song that Lind had sung to Keiichi in her Dance of Death is called _A Moon Filled Sky. _You can a find a good HD copy of the song on YouTube at A Moon Filled Sky - Tenmon by Michael Evans (2:50).

There is a second (inferior) version sung by a Japanese singer, but with English subtitled lyrics included, in a YouTube AMV at A Moon Filled Sky - Full Song by 'x3m slayer' (6:58). Most lyrical translations have errors; this AMV has the best translation. It is not as good, music-wise, as the shorter Tenmon version (2:50). This is because nobody, and I mean nobody, can sing this song and do it justice. Ok, maybe Susan Boyle could sing it properly, but I don't know who else could that was not a goddess. The English lyrics displayed at the bottom of this video are the very words that Lind would often quietly sing, almost in a whisper, to Keiichi after they had made love. Usually after he had fallen asleep. Sample:

_I aim for my dream, further, farther_

_Remembering your sleeping face, and the happiness I felt_

_My wish travels over the horizon, my heart flies far_

Ultimately, the song _A Moon Filled Sky_ is about trusting grace. This was what Belldandy meant when she told Lind that she had some L5 love inside her already.

Now, if you decide to watch the anime that originated that song, _ef: A Fairy Tale of the Two_, and I recommend that you at least try, please note that the **first** season is _A Tale of Memories_ and that the **second** season is_ A Tale of Melodies_. Many people get it backwards. It is important to keep the order of the two seasons straight if you want to have any hope of understanding this profoundly deep (but difficult to watch and understand) anime about the fifth kind of love.

And for goodness sakes keep watching after the credits roll! The most important material often _follows_ the credits. For detailed instructions on how to watch _ef_ so that you can understand it, please see the A/N at the bottom of chapter 18.

To get a feel for _ef_, see the opening cut-scene of the Visual Novel on YouTube: [720P][Visual Novel] Ef: A Fairy Tale of the Two Game Opening #1 by DLSubs (2:18). The plot in the VN runs a bit different than the anime (e.g., Yuko and Yu meet at the start instead of the end), but the emotional flavor is very similar. The video introduces all the characters and the five couples, and it has a wonderful soaring intro of Yuko standing on the school roof, with the song _I'm Here_ playing in the background. (_I'm Here _is a seeker song, like all the songs in _ef_.) That roof is hugely important, as major events happen for each of the five couples on that same roof.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Chihiro's breakthrough in ef:** In our continuing series of video clips that demonstrate the fifth kind of love, I want to show you the climax of the Chihiro x Renji arc in _ef_.

Now let me say up front that, unlike _CLANNAD_, this series _needs_ spoilers for you to have any hope of really understanding it. So I'm not going to worry about spoiling it:

Chihiro is an anterograde amensiac (13 hour memory limit), who can fall in love all over again each and every day. She wears a paper eyepatch because, after the auto accident, when the doctors tried to fit her with a glass eye, she would wake up each morning and panic and literally rip the thing out of her eye socket. (A paper eyepatch is easier to replace every day.)

Keep in mind that Chihiro's brain damage is permanent. It cannot be fixed. There are no miracles anywhere in _ef_: Dead people stay dead, dying people remain dying, and in Chihiro's case, brain damaged people stay brain damaged.

Renji is Chihiro's totally dedicated lover. Everybody warns him off, but he stays faithful. She writes in her diary about the growing relationship, and she re-reads the diary every morning to get up to speed. But the pages grow and grow and grow.

She can't read them all. Eventually she realizes that it will never work, so she tears up the pages of the diary and throws them to the wind, thus effectively killing Renji in her mind. She does it because she loves him. She doesn't want to put him through the torture of restarting a love relationship from scratch literally every day. Chihiro even tosses one page as a paper airplane, an image in _ef_ that always symbolizes change.

Renji heroically runs after the flying pages to try to collect them. He frantically searches for them everywhere, all day and all night. He mostly succeeds.

He returns the next morning with the torn-out pages, despite the fact that by now Chihiro has forgotten him. Her memory of him is now completely gone.

Chihiro knows that she is trapped by a 13 hour chain. The chain is her mental prison.

But wait, she had not forgotten Renji after all. She somehow still remembered him after 13 hours! Wait, how could that possibly happen? Simple. She thinks about Renji. This refreshes her memory of him in her brain. As long as she thinks about him within the 13 hour window, she can roll it forward. And thus she can remember him indefinitely.

And so she has her epiphany. The chain breaks and she is free. This is shown graphically and symbolically. She is free.

She doesn't need the diary any longer to keep him in her heart. And so they commit.

The first YouTube clip is called Epic Ef Scenes ~ Her Lost Pages by MistyDecember (1:01). Renji runs like a maniac all over town to rescue the torn diary pages, with the song_ I'm Here_ playing in the background. The second YouTube clip is called Epic Ef Scenes ~ Breaking Chihiro's Chains also by MistyDecember (1:45). This is where Chihiro has her epiphany.

All the tragedies in _ef_ resolve themselves in a similar optimistic fashion, and it is the whole thesis of _ef_: Yes, life can suck, and yes, you then die, but until then, try to make lemonade from the lemons, and do the best with what you got. And know that there is someone Upstairs who cares, and know that the story doesn't end when you do.

And this is why _ef_ is fundamentally an optimistic story. It is quintessentially Christian in its optimistic outlook, even in the face of the worst tragedies. (Hey, quintessential, get it?)

The story of _ef_ is about pure L5 love in action. It's about life, really.

Remember, all of life's Deep Truths are simple and obvious once you spot them.

All you need are your eyes and your brain.

It's that simple.

-HuuskerDu


	26. Chapter 26: Ragnarök

**A/N:**

This is the third chapter of the final four chapters.

* * *

**Chapter 26: Ragnarök**

It happened faster than we thought. The very next night.

It was time.

I removed my limiter dog-tags from my neck and placed them on the bed next to my wedding ring.

I then gently placed my forehead against my husband's, who was still asleep. And for the last time I kissed him goodbye. He did not awaken.

Goodbye, my love.

Then I stood up. I took a deep breath, walked outside, and took to the sky.

As I continued my ascent, I opened up my wrist flap and looked at the picture of my husband and kissed it. Then I closed it again.

For you see, Hild faked her own death. Now she's a-gunning for Tyr a second time. So soon.

We thought we might have 5-10 more days together. We didn't. That nasty bitch has no patience at all.

And this time she is bringing to Heaven her greatest weapon, Belldandy's sister. Urd running Niflheim had tipped the Norn of the Past to her daemon half, and it is permanent. That part was Hild's plan all along. And she has Bonded with her daughter. So Hild!Urd is now beyond even a first class daemon, the best (that is, the worst) ever seen in history. And then she Bonded Hagall into her mind. The three of them, Hild, Urd, and Hagall, in one mind, Hild!Hagall!Urd, would be far, far, more powerful than anything ever seen before.

And Hild is controlling everything, hiding inside her daughter's body, running it all. Hild's plan had come to fruition, if only delayed.

I should have known. Tyr knew it all along. He knew it because he was Hild's doublet, and Tyr was still alive after Hild had 'died'. So Hild must still be alive too.

Why did I fail to think of that? It was so obvious.

But Hild's first attempt to capture Heaven was foiled by Belldandy's sacrifice. So now she's stuck in a first class Urd, and once promoted like that you can never go back. So she knows that she herself is now doomed. So that means either she just didn't care anymore, or she has now concocted some new plan to survive Ragnarök somehow. The latter seemed more likely to me. That bitch never gives up.

So now we are racing up into the sky, to fight Hild!Hagall!Urd unto the death even before they arrive in Valhalla, to intercept them outside it, in a surprise pre-emptive sneak attack, the final confrontation, the initial attack that starts Ragnarök, as we finally kill that bitch for good.

We would be the first to fight. To make the first blow. We were the tip of the spear, the final pre-emptive attack against Evil in our mansion.

It would happen over the Pacific Ocean. The fight would be beyond epic.

Megatons of seawater would explode into the air, with great tsunamis, and huge storms in the atmosphere, typhoons larger than any the Earth had seen in ten million years. For the great Mariah herself would participate in this battle, and she would break her neutrality for the very first time, and she would join the side of the blue. Not just for the benefit of her son, but to fulfill a promise and an obligation that she had personally made to Belldandy herself, ages ago.

But this would not a fight for humans, and human casualties would be kept as low as possible. It was why that place was chosen by Belldandy to start the battle. I agreed with the battle strategy proposed by the six-winged angel. Even in her current form, with less than 10% of herself left, she was formidable, and a great ally. We would join together, in a single mind, for the final attack.

Belldandy analyzed Hild's attack plan, and I concurred with her analysis. The Enemy would first send a secret hit team to disable or destroy the superlaser. That was expected. The weapon was never meant to defend the temple (which was already fully defended by other means). The weapon was meant to be fired upward and through the Japan gate, directly into Hell itself, aimed right at Hild's throne, to kill the Queen of Hell in a sneak assassination attempt. Skuld had narrowed and intensified the beam so it would kill even that bitch.

Urd had warned me that the plan wouldn't work. I didn't know why at the time. It turned out it was because Hild was already hiding inside of Urd, who suspected some kind of mind control was operating on her, but didn't know that it was Hild herself doing it with Hagall's help. So Hild overheard me talk about my assassination plot during our karaoke dance.

But no matter. The weapon was mostly a diversion anyway, to unsettle the folks Downstairs. It was basically an excuse to go into Hell and find Urd.

Urd knew that Hagall would have gotten the information about the plot out of her mind sooner or later herself anyway, so it was moot.

Hild was holding Hagall's reins the whole time. She was always in control.

It was Hild herself who attacked me, not Hagall, in my dream. I should have realized that. It was Hild herself who heard me confess that Belldandy was still alive inside of Keiichi's head. That really startled her and worried her, because that was what she was basically doing herself with Urd.

She then instantly recovered and attacked my mind using that new information. That psychological attack was way too devastating for Hagall to come up with on such short notice. Only Hild could have done it.

After the attack on my mind failed, Hild worried greatly that I had discovered her secret plan to use the Bonding spell to create a super-demon. It rattled her so much that she left the room (in Urd's body), leaving Hagall alone with Eihwaz, allowing me to spank the crap out of that mind-control bitch when I went back to sleep.

I then imagined what had happened next: Hild would return, find the broken Hagall, and become very angry and demand to know if Hagall called out Hild's name during her spanking, as that would have tipped me off.

Hagall would deny it, of course, but knowing Hild she would not believe her, and I bet she would have tortured Hagall mercilessly, for days, until she was satisfied that Hagall did not blurt out her name to me, that she had only cried 'Mommy!'. But that must have been a close call for Hild.

I approved of Belldandy's order of battle. It was a masterpiece of military strategy and planning.

It was a pity that Belldandy had never joined the Fighting Wings. She could have easily become the Fighting Wings' best Air Marshal, ever. And I would have gladly served as her second-in-command for life. Pity, that. But I felt it was okay, for Belldandy had a higher purpose than mine own. Far, far, higher.

Instead, Belldandy and I planned to take the fight directly to Hild!Hagall!Urd.

You see, Belldandy and I would be the first to fight, and the first to die, fighting side by side.

In Ragnarök.

I was fortunate to have her help. Originally, Belldandy's insane plan was to wait until I had transferred her mind into the myself just prior to this battle, then take over my mind and quickly re-Bond herself into Skuld and take her over her mind next, this time permanently. In her madness she even deluded herself into believing that Skuld would acquiese and turn over her mind voluntarily, for her Big Sis. Then Belldandy!Skuld would have survived Ragnarök and lived happily ever after with Keiichi.

What an amazing and audacious plan. It was a plan of mad genius.

Indeed, after surviving Ragnarök, as the most powerful remaining goddess of them all, Belldandy!Skuld would have eventually ruled even Heaven itself, and she would have placed Keiichi in a great golden throne alongside her own, to rule Heaven with her, side-by-side. For such was the depth of her madness.

I would have been shocked and stunned at being mind raped, of course. But I would have still carried out the mission, alone. And I would have failed. Fortunately, my Dance of Death had knocked Belldandy out of her insanity, all guided by the fifth kind of love. And so I will have Belldandy's help.

I then could feel her mind inside of me. I could feel her smile, and her power. She was ready for the attack. She will join me in battle. And she will fight alongside me, and she will die with me. To save Heaven and the world.

She stroked my mind, and she apologized again.

Not necessary, my love.

* * *

As we flew, I asked Belldandy about the start of the fifth age. What will happen? I had already known that Skuld would become the most powerful surviving goddess, as was prophesied long ago. Belldandy told me that the aftermath of Ragnarök will cause her to mature very rapidly. It will happen in weeks, if not days. Her appearance will change dramatically, and she will become tall, beautiful, and strong. She will automatically be catapulted into the first class rank, as the first L1 must always be boot-strapped whenever a new age begins.

This is why I had asked Skuld to join me on the mission to Niflheim, to see how well she operated under pressure and in a dangerous situation. I thought she performed admirably in a difficult combat situation, despite her resistance at leaving Urd behind, but that was understandable. Overall she did very well, in my opinion. She passed the test. She was ready.

Indeed, in the immediate aftermath of the impending disaster, she will be tested to her utmost: She would be the first leader of the remnant of the Fighting Wings, and the chief engineer to oversee the emergency reconstruction of Yggdrasil, and the temporary Daitenkaicho to direct the allocation of tasks and duties among the surviving L2s and L3s.

I knew that her first priority, once the critical life-threatening injuries of the L2s and L3s were triaged and treated, would be to quickly re-establish Valhalla's main defenses. New gate entities would have to be decanted and prepared, with primary gates re-established first. The deep archives would need to be excavated to bootstrap the restart of Yggdrasil. But the top priority would be the rebuilding of Valhalla's defenses. Being an expert engineer, I expected that Skuld's new defense designs, although rapidly improvised, would be quite thorough and more than adequate for the task. Valhalla's future safety will be in very good hands.

Niflheim will be in similarly bad shape, of course. But I knew that Skuld would take no chances with Valhalla's defense against a possible improvised ad-hoc attack by the remnants of Niflheim. Well, at least Hagall will be long gone, and good riddance.

As was tradition, I knew that the new leader of Niflheim would soon petition for a face-to-face meeting with the new leader of Valhalla to set the ground rules for the fifth age. The negotiations could be tricky. I hoped that Skuld would ask for, and get, good help and advice during the negotiations as she was rather inexperienced.

Belldandy told me that Skuld would ask for, and get, good advice from a very wise person. She told me who, and I smiled. Of course. He was by far the best choice as her consigliere. Those two would be all alone now, just him and her. Interesting. My relationship with him worked so well because we were similar: both of us were lonely rejects in our respective worlds. But any relationship between him and her would be based on their contrast, on their differences. They were in many ways complete opposites of each other regarding their emotions and temperment. Of course, that can work out as well. I mean, look at me and Peorth.

I suspected that they would have an interesting future together. At the time I had no idea how strong an understatement that was.

Finally, Belldandy reminded me that we are never alone. Each of us will leave our mark in the world. And it will reach beyond time. We define the future, and indeed we create it, by our actions today. Thank you, Belldandy.

And then I heard two names spoken in my mind.

_Lindy_

_Thoriko_

Twin opposites. She would not say more. Lindy? I like that name. Thoriko? Isn't that Thor with a feminine suffix?

The future.

Because the story never ends.

* * *

And so, we prepared for our final battle.

And I will have some additional help. I have assembled the rest of my combat team.

There will be five of us, and one is Belldandy.

I am the fifth one.

And this time I will get my cool epic death scene.

I can't wait. Are you ready, team? Good. Let's go.

* * *

The five of us flew up together in combat formation.

And then Belldandy began to sing.

Now, Belldandy had the greatest celestial singing voice in Heaven. But she did not sing the Great Song, not yet.

Instead, as a gift to me, she sung the private song that Keiichi and I had shared, which up until now I believed that she had never heard before, for I had only sung it in private, during our most intimate moments together, a song upon which Belldandy had secretly eavesdropped and listened to in her madness and despair.

But now she sang that song herself, with greater power, depth, sadness, strength, and joy. She combined all those feelings at once in her magnificent singing voice, the greatest voice that Heaven has ever heard.

And that song,_ A Moon Filled Sky_, my secret song, the private song of love that I would often sing softly to Keiichi, late at night, as we lay in bed together, arm in arm, would soon, thanks to Belldandy, become the most famous song in Heaven. For she would add several new verses to this melody, new verses that came from her wisdom, her power, and her love.

And the song would become transcendent.

She sang.

She started with the violin part. Then, as she progressed, I began to accompany her with the piano part. It was a both a sad and joyful song of love, with both feelings merged into a single combined melody. It was a duet, a fairy tale of the two, a tale of melodies.

It was the song of the fifth kind of love.

And that song would become famous in Heaven. It would become known as the Great Overture, the Great Prelude, the famous song that was sung by the angel Verdthandi at the beginning, just before the Great Song, the True Song, the Song of the Fifth Kind of Love, which would be sung at the Battle of Ragnarök.

And the latter song would be a song that, sadly, no one would remember.

Because no one who heard it would survive.

And so Belldandy began sing.

_With the courage to live_

_The future I will embrace_

And so we flew together up into the clouds.

To our destiny.

To begin Ragnarök.

* * *

**A/N:**

The final chapter, Chapter 27, will shift to a neutral point of view (POV).

* * *

**A/N:**

By far the best song in _ef: A Fairy Tale of the Two_ has got to be _A Moon Filled Sky_. What a melody!

I had mentioned in the previous chapter that you can a find a good HD copy of the song on YouTube at A Moon Filled Sky - Tenmon by Michael Evans (2:50).

The song is delicate, yet it is incredibly powerful and moving. It consists of a duet, a single violin playing the main theme, and a piano playing the accompaniment. The melody is so beautiful. Only a goddess of Belldandy's caliber could possibly hope to sing it with the same passion, the same vibrato, the same feeling, as that violin. Susan Boyle might be able pull it off, or maybe Sarah Brightman in her prime, but I don't know who else could.

Sadly, it is only an instrumental piece. The English sub with the actual English lyrics, as sung by the character Mizuki Hayama in the finale, is only available on the DVD as far as I know. The singer has a reedy voice and lacks power. There is simply no way for a normal (non-goddess) singer to possibly do this melody justice.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Kuze accepts Mizuki:** For our final entry in our series of romantic anime video clips that demonstrate the fifth kind of love, I want to show you the best example of them all: the climax of the Kuze x Mizuki arc in _ef_. It beats all the other examples cold.

Kuze Shuichi is a 28 year-old world-famous German violinist. He is wealthy and lives alone in a big apartment in Otowa with a large collection of antique actors' masks and other expensive pieces of art. He knows that he is dying of a rare heart disease, and he has maybe three or four months to live. His heart muscle will slowly atrophy, then he will become weaker and weaker, then he will be bound to a wheelchair, then become totally bedridden, then die. He takes a large cocktail of drugs daily to slow the inevitable progression. There is no cure. (Remember that in _ef_ there are no miracles. He will certainly die.)

Kuze is an agnostic. He begins to shut down his life. He starts to give away his possessions, cut off all friendships, and bitterly waits to die. His last friend, Yu Himura (from the Yuko and Yu arc), then sends over his niece, Mizuki Hayama, to clean Kuze's apartment and make his meals. Yu gives her secret instructions to watch over Kuze. (Mizuki is actually little Miki from the Yuko arc 12 years prior.) Kuze does not know that Mizuki is secretly aware of his fatal condition. Kuze is bemused by the eager young helper, so he plays his violin and the piano for her. Unbeknownst to him, she is falling in love with him.

One day Mizuki, almost casually, tells Kuze that she is in love with him. This shocks Kuze and he throws her out. She returns to find him collapsed unconscious on the floor, and she force-feeds him his meds and saves his life. Instead of being grateful, he tries to throw her out again. He wants to die alone. The stubborn girl just refuses to leave. But why? She says because she loves him.

Then, in a sequence that I think will become famous one day, Kuze bombards her with 50 questions, staccato style. The questions fly out faster and faster, with the words 'Warum warum warum' (German for 'Why why why') spilling all over the screen:

Why are you there?  
Why do you stand there so boldly?  
Why do you look into my eyes?  
Why do you listen to my voice?  
Why are you before me?  
Why do you talk to me?  
Why do you follow me around?  
Why do you meddle in my affairs?  
Why won't you leave me alone?  
Why did you and I meet?  
Why did you get to know me?  
Why did you appear before me?  
Why are you so attached to me?  
Why do you laugh?  
Why are you so meddlesome?  
Why are you in such a good mood?  
Why are you so cheerful?  
Why don't you cry?  
Why are you so bright?  
Why do you seem to have fun?  
Why do you look at everything?  
Why do you know everything?  
Why do you forgive everything?  
Why are you happy about everything?  
Why do you make me worry?  
Why do you shake me?  
Why do you make me lost?  
Why are you interested in me?  
Why do you make me suffer?  
Why do you condemn me?  
Why do you make fun of me?  
Why do you trample all over me?  
Why do you taunt me?  
Why do you break me apart?  
Why do you tear me apart?  
Why do you beat me up?  
Why can't you forgive me?  
Why can't you understand me?  
Why do you make me cry?  
Why do you give me hope?  
Why do you bring me to despair?  
Why do you pressure me?  
Why do you trap me?  
Why do you disturb my soul?  
Why do you try to respond?  
Why do you act familiar?  
Why don't you leave already?  
Why are you still here?

Then he asks the final and most important question of them all:

Why... do you exist?

She leaves. Then Kuze asks more questions, this time to himself. The scene is very powerful. See the YouTube clip Kuze x Miki ~ Why? Why? Why? by Tia Von (3:50).

Kuze is alone. He broods. He can't get her out of his mind. He argues with himself, "I will just end up hurting her. I will die soon. I will.. disappear! Just disappear!" But no, he gives in. He claws his way upstairs to the roof doorway and opens it. He then walks into the light, literally. She was waiting there on the roof the whole time. She knew he would come.

She kung-fu kicks him in the chest. Not because she is angry, but because he needed a kick in the ass. She points out he already died once (when she force-fed his meds) so he already has that part out of the way.

She says now that you are reborn, let me introduce myself. I am Mizuki Hayama. Then she holds out her hand. Kuze is sprawled out on the ground from the kick. So he slowly bends up, and he reaches out for her hand. It is exactly like in the famous painting of Adam reaching out for God's hand, painted Michaelangelo on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican.

And then (get this!) when Kuze's hand gets close to hers, Mizuki grabs it and _pulls_ him up. (Hint, hint.)

Then she answers all 50 of his questions (some samples):

Why are you in front of me?  
Answer: I'm in front of you because I love you.

Why are you speaking to me?  
Answer: I'm speaking to you because I love you.

Why do you follow me around?  
Answer: I follow you around because I love you.

Why do you try to care for me?  
Answer: I try to care for you because I love you.

Why won't you leave me alone?  
Answer: I won't leave you alone because I love you.

Why do you smile?  
Answer: I smile because I love you.

Why do you meddle?  
Answer: I meddle because I love you.

Why are you in such a good mood?  
Answer: I'm in a good mood because I love you.

Why don't you cry?  
Answer: I don't cry because I love you.

Why are you so cheerful and joyful?  
Answer: Because I love you!

And then she says, "There will probably be times when I'll hurt you. There might be times when I'll make you waver. I'll cause you distress. I'll make you suffer. But all of that is because I love you."

This is it! This is L5 love in hyper-drive!

He is dumbfounded, "But I'm going to die. I'm going to look terrible. I won't be able to make you happy."

She says, "No, you are wrong. I'll be happy. And when you're about to die, I'll make sure that you're happy as well. So.. won't you come along with me?"

He stands in awe of this girl. She has the wisdom of the ages. She goes on, "No matter how much you treasure them, all things will eventually perish. Bonds, feelings, memories, hearts, and even life. Everything in this world eventually perishes. Everything eventually breaks."

Kuze admits he was a fool. Mizuki says, "Then let's cherish it! Let's cherish it until that time."

And then Kuze asks the most important question of them all, "Why? Why me?"

Mizuki answers very simply, "Because you are Kuze-san."

It is grace. Charis. It is that simple.

This incredible video clip can be found at Kuze x Mizuki Scene by bakanai (6:35).

This is it! This is the epitome of L5 love in action.

Mizuki here is a metaphor for Jesus Christ and the kind of love relationship that He wants with us. You can take this scene and substitute Jesus for Mizuki and it would roll out almost exactly the same way. (Ok, Christ probably would not kung-fu kick Kuze physically, but he would almost certainly do it verbally, like when God tells Job to STFU in the Book of Job chapters 38-41.)

Simply stunning. This is the best example of L5 love in all of romantic anime, in my opinion.

-HuuskerDu


	27. Chapter 27: The Heart of Sunshine

**Chapter 27: The Heart of Sunshine**

Lind, Cool Mint, Spear Mint, Belldandy, and Holy Bell.

And so the five of them flew up together. Two of them were within Lind's mind. The other pair, her own angels, flew in combat wing formation with Lind herself.

Belldandy finished her song. Lind felt her gentle soul inside her own mind, for Belldandy was herself again: She was sane, and strong, and determined, with an iron will that few in this universe could ever hope to understand. She was Belldandy. She was herself.

As they flew, the angel of the fifth kind of love then consoled Lind within her own mind, and told her to remain strong, and to be brave.

And then she told Lind a great secret.

For you see, as they were flying upwards, Lind, in her mind, heard the Angel of the fifth kind of love speak and reveal her real name, her deep name, her True Name. And it was not Verdthandi.

For Verdthandi was not an angel. She was something far higher, a seraph, one of the four great seraphim in the innermost circle, higher than anything except the Godhood of transfinity itself. For you see, the seraphim means 'the burning ones', and indeed the great heart of Belldandy burned like a sun. It was not the red fire of Hell, nor was it the Lake of Fire, but it was something far, far, different. Her sun heart was the True Fire, the Blue Fire, the Fire of Creation, the Fire at the heart of the Great Song itself, the Fire of the Song that never ends, even after the end of Time itself.

And Lind was amazed, and she flew in silence.

For Belldandy was the fifth kind of love.

But what was it? It could not be fully explained in words. Instead, Belldandy told Lind that some hints of the fifth kind of love could be actually glimpsed, if only in the barest way and briefly, right here on Earth. For you see, in Lind's dreams, on her last night on Earth, she had heard spoken several soft words in her sleep. The words were whispered into her mind. After she awoke she suspected it might have been Belldandy sending them, but she said no. For the words were coming from a different place, a much Higher Place. For these words were hints of the true nature of the fifth kind of love. They were not complete, not fully clear, not definite, but it was there, as a merest shadow. She heard these words:

_Ebullient Future_

_Eternal Feather_

_Euphoric Field_

_Emotional Flutter_

Pairs of words each starting with the letters E and F.

What did it all mean? She did not know.

Then in Lind's mind Belldandy revealed the riddle for her: These were more songs similar to Lind's private song. They were the songs of the seekers of Truth. And so those songs foreshadowed, in the smallest and briefest way possible, the Great Song, the True Song, the Song of the Fifth Kind of Love.

* * *

They flew up and up.

And then.

And then during that final High Flight, the seraph that was Verdthandi, whose great heart contained the fire of a sun, and of which there are only four in the entire Universe, called Lind by her real name, her deep name, her True Name, forbidden and never to be spoken aloud.

And all such names, True Names, had power when spoken.

For you see, Lind was not an Ishim.

The ban was enforced by the Ultimate Force itself, the speaking of any True Name, the secret name that Lind was given by Him when she was born over 4500 years ago. And that Name was never to be spoken aloud until such time that He permits it, not since the time when the angel of the fourth kind of love, acting upon careful instructions handed down from the apex of transfinity itself, to the Daitenkaicho, and thence to her, that she would pass over the houses of the First Ones oh so long ago, and spared them, because of the virgin lamb's blood that was spattered on the lentil of every believer's home, and so the lives of their firstborn children would be protected.

For Lind was The Angel of Death. The Slayer. The Scythe.

The White Angel.

The Angel of Death.

For that was always her mission, and her True Purpose: To cause Death.

Less often, she would be ordered to protect a being from Death, or to prevent Death, or to avoid Death, such when she protected Keiichi Morisato. But her every mission was always related to Death. Always.

And so, because of the gravity of her duty, her rank was far higher than an Ishim. She was a Power, an Authority, of the Second Sphere. Not an archangel, but nearly so.

And Lind's True Name had power, and it flowed out from Lind when Verdthandi spoke it, and so it was removed from Lind at that moment. She was no longer the White Angel.

Previously, Lind Morisato had kissed her daughter goodbye. The Norn of the Future was already transforming. And the Norn of the Future would very soon become the Norn of the Present, a raven haired angel, fully mature, tall, proud, and beautiful, with incredible power, and in her own way becoming even more beautiful than Urd herself. For she had hidden a photograph of herself and Keiichi in their wedding clothes, and she would remain with Keiichi for the rest of his life, and she eventually would become his second wife.

Soon she would become very busy indeed.

For the new Norn of the Present would soon assume Lind's mantle as the new leader of the Fighting Wings, and she would fight during Ragnarök to save Valhalla from utter ruin, in an epic battle against the strongest forces of Hell. And then, as the strongest surviving goddess after the end of that terrible holocaust, she would become the new Daitenkaicho, the new President of Heaven, the new leader of Valhalla.

And then she would assume another title: She would become the new goddess, the new angel of the fourth kind of love, the new White Angel, the new Angel of Death.

And after that, it would be the new Angel of Death who would be the final fulfillment of Keiichi's wish, the Great Wish made by that pure hearted man, made oh so very long ago, to have a first class goddess by his side forever, a wish from a man whose heart was so pure it charmed even the goddesses themselves.

And because of that fateful wish, it would be that Keiichi's life would be greatly extended. It was not because he had the blood of Mariah in his veins, nor was it because the spirit who Bonded inside of him was an angel, or even a seraph. It was because just before his body died during the surprise attack by Eihwaz and her minions, that Skuld, his second spouse, the White Angel, out of her great love for him, had Bonded Keiichi Morisato into herself on the battlefield. For such was the depth of her love for him. And so they would become as intimate as any two lovers could ever possibly be, in the strongest way possible, for the rest of their lives.

For this was Keiichi Morisato's True Purpose, the reason why the Great Wish was originally fulfilled with the seraph. For it was his destiny, as prophesied by Belldandy herself, that, after Ragnarök, Keiichi Morisato would Bond with the new White Angel at the start of the Fifth Age. And thus he would be able to share his gentleness and compassion with her, to counterbalance her fire, and her zeal, to perfect her. To enable her to fulfill her role and her own destiny. And so they would remain together, and soon their minds would slowly begin to merge, and eventually they would become as one. And so she would become the greatest White Angel of them all, powerful and strong, yet compassionate. She would become the White Angel of Mercy and of Death, for she would save far more lives than she would condemn.

And even then, the Great Wish would not end. It went on forever. For that is what Keiichi Morisato had wished for. The White Angel of Mercy and Death would indeed live on forever, their minds joined as one, and they would remain together until the Angel's mission was finally done. Until Death itself had died. And yet together, age after age, they would think back, with fond shared memories, of Big Sis and Urd, and the little play family they had together, under the bamboo and pine of a Buddhist temple, in Nakomi Japan.

For it was like a fairy tale, of the two: The two who became one, forever through all eternity.

* * *

And so the five of them flew up together. Soon to die, and then to join the fifth kind of love.

And it was more than love. It was something even greater, something beyond even _agape_, something inexpressible, something ineffable, something that could not be explained in any language nor in any symbol. It was meant to be that way, beyond the transcendental, beyond transfinity itself, so that it could never be captured even by Gödel himself.

And yet this _something_ did have a name, and it did have a symbol.

And the symbol of the fifth kind of love was no secret, it was plain to see, and it was out in the open the whole time.

And it was why He allowed Evil to exist, not just for free will and freedom of choice, but because He knew that a universe without sadness would also be a universe without joy. The fifth kind of love was His gift to Mankind. It was the same gift that Eru, the One, who was called Illuvatar, had given through Melkor, the master of Sauron, to the Valar in another universe: The playing of the Great Song, the Great Music, the Ainulindale of the Valaquenta, that created Arda itself, of Arda marred, a song echoed faintly in the sadness sung by the Elves of the West, whose final refrain will one day be sung in full joy by the Elves of Valinor. It was the Great Song of ultimate power, the Song of Creation, the True Song of Inexpressible Love, whose true transcendent form can never be fully expressed, realized, nor actualized, except at the very Top of the transfinite ladder itself. And that Song, that Song, would continue forever. It would continue even beyond the Armageddon of Revelation, the Dagor Dagorath, the Ragnarök, the Final Act and its Great Ending, the 'Big Rip' of the observable universe, and even the end of Time itself.

Together they flew into the light of the rising sun. And far, far below them, the Pacific Ocean came into view. They would fly almost to outer space, then wait for Hild!Hagall!Urd to appear far below. The trio would soon depart from the Niflheim Gate in Hawaii and fly at high speed across the Pacific Ocean to the Valhalla Gate in Japan. But they would be intercepted by the five, who would make their final hypersonic dive in a surprise attack midway there, the attack hidden by the great typhoon of Mariah, and there they would all die.

And then Ragnarök would begin.

* * *

And so, in their final High Flight, before their Final Dive, they flew up and up and up.

For you see, they had slipped the surly bonds of earth, and danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings.

Laughing and shouting with glorious joy, they chased the wind along, and flung themselves through footless halls of air.

Faster than the morning sun, they joined the tumbling mirth of sun-split clouds, then wheeled and soared and swung, high in the sunlit silence, in ways no mortal had ever dreamed of.

Up, up, up the long delirious burning blue, they topped the heights and soared with easy grace, where neither lark, nor even eagle flew.

Up and up they climbed, into a sky of black. And then, hovering there, with silent, lifting mind, as they trod the high untrespassed sanctity of space,

o  
o  
o  
o

Lind put out her hand,

o  
o  
o  
o

and she touched the face of God.

o  
o  
o  
o

**The End**

* * *

**A/N:**

I now invite you to please close your eyes and imagine the Final Dive of the Five. It happens much like the space dive of Kirk and Sulu in the movie_ Star Trek_ (2009). It is initially silent (in space), then sound grows, then a whoosh, then it becomes a deafening roar as they hit the troposphere, where, just before impact, the Five become the brightest meteors that the Earth has ever seen.

As you imagine Lind going down to her final glory, please go to YouTube and listen to the original soundtrack of the movie _Sunshine_ (2007). There is an excellent high-def OST if you search YouTube for John Murphy - Sunshine (Adagio in D Minor) (4:30). It has over 3 million views, almost all of them were word of mouth, handed person to person, as if whispered, 'You gotta listen to this!' It is that powerful.

The movie _Sunshine_ was mediocre, but the song itself is transcendent. It is the title of this final chapter. I personally believe that this song is so incredibly (and quietly) popular because, in some very, very small way, it is a faint, faint whisper of the True Song of Love.

The soundtrack starts very quiet. It builds slowly, then grows majestically, then grows to a mighty crescendo, and then suddenly stops. Please listen to this soundtrack as you imagine our heros diving down at hypersonic speed in transcendent glory, with Lind's heartbeat racing faster and faster until it suddenly stops at final impact. You can hear Lind's voice at 2:33. She is referring to the dream she had, of the great heart of the seraph that is now inside her mind, which burns like the surface of the sun. (Seraphs are always super hot in their True Form.)

Please find a private place before you watch this. I guarantee that you will tear up. In fact you might might totally lose it.

I think that Lind, who was in death ecstasy at that moment, got her wish for an epic death, don't you agree?

* * *

**A/N:**

Thank you for reading this story.

I confess that I faked you out. This is not a humorous story. It is a sad but joyful one. Why did I do it? To hammer home the deadly serious point I am trying to make here, about what True Love really is. And what it offers you if you embrace it.

The fifth kind of love is called _charis_. It explained in a web page entitled _The Five Love_s at StellaMar dot net, written by R.W. Kropf, dated August 29, 2002 (excerpted under Fair Use):

_It is the kind of love that alone can guarantee that a marriage will last, through better or worse, in sickness and in health, through hell or high water, until death do them part._

_Impossible? Yes, it probably is, without what one might call a kind of a fourth and a half, but I will call a fifth kind of love. It consists in the recognition that agape, self-sacrificing, totally self-disinterested love is impossible without God's grace. In other words, that such love is a gift, a "charism" - the result, St. John tells us, of God first loving us, the loving, saving grace, that alone enables our poor human efforts to bear everlasting fruit. Without it we can accomplish nothing that will last. Neither storge (attraction) nor eros (passion) nor philos (friendship) can last except through God's help, and as for agape (true self-sacrificing love) it is altogether impossible without charis, the gift or grace of God._

And there it is.

R.W. Kropf is a 21st-century monk who lives way out in the Stella Maris Hermitage in the middle of nowhere. His website, StellarMar dot net, runs an ancient version of Apache, but it contains _heavy_ stuff, and I will tell you right now that the Deep Truths can be found in that dusty old website. R.W. Kropf is enlightened, he's got it, he's got satori. (Although he might object if I said that to his face, sorry sir.) The guy has it all figured out. Or just pick up a Bible.

I will also add that, in addition to Mr. Kropf's definition, _charis_ also implies that we know that we _need_ that kind of help from Upstairs, that we cannot do it alone, that without that help we are overwhelmed and defeated. _Charis_ implies that the sadness that we feel is merely a counterpoint to the joy that we also get to experience, and that you cannot have one without the other. The joy of the Resurrection requires the sadness of the Cross.

I have already told you this, but it is worth repeating: Yes, life can suck, and yes, you then die, but until then, make lemonade from the lemons, and be grateful for what you got, and know that there is someone Upstairs who cares. And know that the story doesn't end when you do.

-HuuskerDu

P.S. The sequel to this story is called _After Ragnarök_. It tells of the union and eventual marriage of Keiichi to Skuld as his second wife, and their amazing future together, as prophesied by Belldandy herself.

* * *

**A/N:**

This story is the shorter and more emotional counterpart, the 'right-brain' tale so to speak, in contrast to my big honking huge epic sprawling galactic romance mystery fic, _The Final Act of Haruki Suzumiya_. The latter story is my 'left-brain' tale and is far more technical and philosophical, diving deep into epistemology and ontology, with some heavy math thrown in (e.g., the transfinite number theory of Georg Cantor, Gödelian logic systems, and the position on Atheism versus Deism basically boiling down to your position on Continuum Hypothesis). It also tackles some very old unresolved philosophical questions (Example: I use Voltaire's story _Candide_ to explore why God allows bad things to happen to good people, natural disasters, horrible diseases, cancer, and so on. Later on I tackle the question of squaring free will with His omniscience, etc.)

I wrote this story for a lay audidence with a lower reading level and educational background. The latter story is much more difficult for a lay reader to follow, plus it requires watching about nine hours of prerequisite animes in the Haruhi Suzumiya series.

Both stories explore the concept of True Love and share the same central thesis: that True Love (_charis_) is actually an undefined _thing_, which can only be properly understood from the perspective of God Himself. It is the ultimate thing that defies the Gödelian logic trap. (Got that?)

I am going to write 100,000+ words in the other fic and include a zillion crossovers in a wild ride to try to describe this _thing_ as best I can, from as many different angles as possible, all within a single cohesive exponential protagonist arc plot trajectory. The exponential arc is an oldie but a goodie, and many of the best fics all seem to use that narrative structure. (Luke Skywalker, Frodo.) Mine is going to be the highest such arc ever written (that I know of), because like Buzz Lightyear, I will take you on a ride literally to infinity. And beyond.

Although this simple story is now complete, there is an epilogue that follows. It reveals some important events that will take place in this story's sequel, _After Ragnarök._

Why am I writing these fics? Because at this late stage in my life I know that God still has a purpose for me: I'm the Little Drummer Boy, so I play my best for Him, bar-rump-bah-bum-bum, while I still can.

I still want your story Favorites/Follows/Reviews. I am competing against 600+ other fics within the Oh! My Goddess section. I want to kick this story up as high as possible in the ratings so people can find it in the future. I put a lot of effort into it, and I suffered a rather big financial penalty to stop working in order to write this story. I think it was worth it.

_Final Act_ is gonna be the death of me, and I don't know if I have that much time left. So even though this shorter and simpler story is now over, please continue to click on 'Story' Favorite/Follow (not 'Author' Favorite/Follow). I'd like you to please do that, even if you read this story years from now, when the cruelty that is dementia finally takes me from this world.

And I hope that, after my mind is mostly gone, far worse than Belldandy's mind was in this story, that maybe some kind soul will read this story back to me aloud after I have forgotten it, when I am unable to read it myself, and that I will still be able to laugh, and get maybe a chuckle or two out of it, and maybe a shed tear of joy when I hear the final chapters. At least I hope so.

Once again, thank you.

-HuuskerDu


	28. Chapter 28: Epilogue: A Tale of The Two

**A/N:**

If you have not yet watched the third Yuko AMV that I cited back in Chapter 18, I invite you now to please visit YouTube and do so. Watch I'll never forget you... Yuko by luisenrique223377 (4:13). It will make the coda below far more enjoyable for you. The coda is uplifting and fun, and you will get a very pleasant emotional payoff if you invest 4 minutes to see the AMV before you read on.

Remember, always end your story on a positive note.

* * *

**Chapter 28: Epilogue: A Tale of The Two**

_And someday I'll sit down with my angel friends_

_Up in Heaven_

_And I'll tell them a story_

_Because I know things_

_The angels only wish they knew_

It was a beautiful sunny autumn day in Nekomi, with only a few fluffy white clouds in the sky. The air was cool and crisp, with a marvelous deep sky that gave visibility for miles. The starlings were in the trees singing their love songs to each other.

Chrono and Skuld walked side by side in the park, each pushing a baby stroller. Skuld was pushing Lindy, and Chrono was pushing her fraternal twin sister, Thoriko. Both of the precocious one-year-olds were bundled up in warm blue sweaters and knit caps, with cute pink booties and mittens.

They took a left turn on the path and began to walk towards the lake. They approached the shoreline, then stopped.

Chrono looked around. "Ah, this is where it all happened."

Skuld smiled and said, "Yes. This is where Lind first kissed Keiichi in the moonlight," her smile widened, "and where later I did the same in the sunlight. I planned it that way. I'm a morning person."

"I know all that. I was there both times, remember?"

"Yeah," Skuld sighed, "but I thought you might like to stop here for a moment. This is a special place. It is special for you as well, isn't it, Chrono? This was the place where you first kissed Lor too, am I right?"

Chrono looked down. "Uh, I don't want to talk about that. Lor and I broke up."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"You weren't supposed to."

{ Keiichi: Oh, good one, Skuld. }

{ Skuld: I didn't know! }

{ Keiichi: I thought you're supposed to know everything about your subordinates. }

{ Skuld: Shut up. }

{ Keiichi: Make me. Just kidding.. }

{ Skuld: Why did I Bond you again? I forget. }

{ Keiichi: For my hot body, you idiot. }

{ Skuld: Just for that I'm going to do you my way tonight. Again. I'm skipping your turn. }

{ Keiichi: Oooh.. the Angel of Death gonna get me! Halp! Br'er Rabbit, don't throw me in that briar patch again! Halp! }

{ Skuld: You are so lucky that I think you are cute. }

{ Keiichi: Smootchies. }

Lindy started to coo in her seat.

{ Keiichi: Hey, there's nothing you can inflict on me that is worse than my experiencing your birth pangs. I think that traumatized me for life. }

{ Skuld: Good. It's about time a man knew what childbirth feels like. }

{ Keiichi: Oy.. }

Skuld smiled inwardly, then she continued to look out over the lake. The Tarikihongan temple was not far away. She sighed as she thought about her past life on Earth, when she lived in that little bamboo and pine temple with her beloved sisters, her mother, her family. All of them gone.

Chrono gazed up at the tall and regal former Air Marshal. She looked so beautiful, like Snow White, with long flowing raven hair.

She saw the Daitenkaicho's long lustrous locks begin to blow gently in the crisp autumn wind, the ideal vision of a true goddess. As Chrono continued to watch the Leader of Heaven in awe, she said, "Wow, Skuld, you are so beautiful. You look.. amazing. It is so hard for me to believe that you were once that little kid."

"Yeah, tell me about it. When Ragnarök happened I grew up fast. Had to."

[A/N**:** For the tale of Skuld's battle to save Valhalla from utter ruin, her rapid physical transformation to adulthood, how she became the new Daitenkaicho, her eventual marriage with Keiichi, and later how Keiichi became Bonded inside her head, see the story _After Ragnarök_. To find the story, please click on my handle at the top. -HuuskerDu]

"So, uhm, I know that Keiichi is inside you somewhere, but, uh, can I ask you a personal question?"

"Am I going to regret this?"

"Naw."

"Uh.. Okay..."

"Are you still technically married now? I mean, uh, are you, kinda, sorta, maybe, you know, available? You resigned from the Fighting Wings, so you aren't my superior officer anymore. So, well, can I ask you out? Oh, I guess I mean both of you, uhm, wait.."

Skuld did a facepalm. She could mentally feel Keiichi doing the same. That girl just hit on an Aggregate Principal Representative. Unbelievable. The girl had chutzpah.

She also had spunk, which Skuld's mother had always told her was the prime qualification for a good Valkyrie. And Chrono was certainly that, and more. That kind of spunk was why Skuld promoted Chrono with a permanent 4th star to replace herself as the leader of the Fighting Wings.

Skuld sighed, "Yes to number one, no to number two, and heck no to number three. And besides I am _still _your superior officer. Just higher up. The same way that the President of the United States is in charge of the US Armed Forces."

"Oh, uh, I'm really sorry! I'm so embarrassed now! Please forget this conversation ever started!"

"I wish I could."

"I'm so sorry!"

Skuld looked on her with mild disapproval. "You ought to know the rules. The Daitenkaicho must have a veto-spouse. So obviously I'm still married."

{ Keichii: Hoo boy. We need to fix her up with somebody.. }

{ Skuld: Got a suggestion? }

{ Keichii: Hmm.. Somebody who is as needy as she is. Lemmie see.. how about Troubadour? They had that thing years ago, you remember? She still likes him. }

{ Skuld: Keiichi, so help me, I'm going to pour a bucket of bleach in my ear just to wash out that suggestion from my mind, and you'll be collateral damage. }

{ Keiichi: Sorry. Just thinking aloud.. }

{ Skuld: Yeah. That's all you do, you know. If I knew you were always this gabby I woulda never Bonded you... }

{ Keiichi: Harumph. }

{ Skuld: Just kidding. Kiss kiss. }

{ Keiichi: I'm sticking my tongue out at you right now. }

Chrono eyes lit up. "Hey, your face.. you are having an argument with Keiichi! Is he jealous of me hitting on you? Are you two having an argument about little old me? Are you fighting over me? Tee hee."

"Shut up."

"Wow!"

{ Keiichi: Heh. You stepped into that one. }

"Grr. I said shut up. That's an order."

"Sorry.. sheesh." Chrono then continued to push Thoriko down the path.

{ Keiichi: LOL! }

{ Skuld: I hate you. }

{ Keiichi: My, so moody today. }

{ Skuld: Yeah. Coming here, remembering Lind, Big Sis, Urd, it's hard.. }

{ Keiichi: I know. Just remember, we'll join them all some day, and we'll be together again. }

{ Skuld: I know. I still miss them. }

{ Keiichi: I do too. }

{ Skuld: At least I have you. I'm the lucky one. }

{ Keiichi: Hey, I scored the ruler of Heaven. You're the hottest and most powerful goddess there is. }

{ Skuld: Flattery will get you everywhere, darling. Ok, I change my mind. Your way tonight. }

{ Keiichi: I just can't stop thinking about them.. Belldandy.. Lind.. Urd.. }

{ Skuld: I know. }

{ Keiichi: Sorry. I'm getting maudlin.. seeing this spot.. the lake.. Let's just stay together forever, ok? }

{ Skuld: Those words are prophetic, you know. }

{ Keiichi: Prophetic? Really? How? }

{ Skuld: Nevermind. Help me push Lindy. We need to catch up with Chrono and Thoriko. }

{ Keiichi: Pushing. About Lindy.. her forehead symbol.. }

{ Skuld: Isn't it neat? }

{ Keiichi: I still don't understand how she got Belldandy's mark. }

{ Skuld: I told you, she got it from you. }

{ Keiichi: I guess.. I didn't know that was possible. }

{ Skuld: Keiichi, my love, anything is possible. You know that better than most. }

{ Keiichi: Yeah, I guess I do. So explain why Thoriko has all that amazing lightning ability, like Urd and Hild. That still bothers me. And so young. I mean, you are only Urd's half sister, so where did she get those powers from? }

{ Skuld: It's a secret. }

{ Keiichi: You can't keep any secrets from me. So tell me.}

{ Skuld: I'm not. Think about it. Why does Thoriko seem to act like Jack Jack in the movie _The Incredibles_? Work it out. }

{ Keiichi: Hmm.. Oooh.. I see. So obvious. How did I miss that? }

{ Skuld: Everything is obvious. You just have to use your eyes and your brain. }

{ Keiichi: Ah, that's why I didn't see it. I'm stuck using your low-wattage one.. }

{ Skuld: Yeah, laugh it up you putz. Keep that up and I'll start watching _Starship Operators_ on TV. The whole series. }

{ Keiichi: Ack! No! Stop! Anything but that! You're a meanie. }

{ Skuld: Heh. }

{ Keiichi: I love you. }

{ Skuld: And I still don't know why. Ah, caught up with Chrono. }

Then they spied a great waterspout on the lake approaching them. From within it a woman materialized. She appeared young and beautiful, with a pleasant round face and curly raven colored hair. She wore a dress of overalls, but with only a single strap. It was laid over a cotton knit blouse with mid-length sleeves.

[A/N: It is implied below that Skuld is repeating Keiichi's thoughts aloud so that his mother can hear him. -HuuskerDu]

{ Keiichi: Mom! }

"My dear Keiichi. I happened to be in the neighborhood and I sensed you were nearby. How are you?"

{ Keiichi: I'm doing fine. How is business at Whirlwind? }

"Wonderful. Chihiro is buying out Harley-Davidson at the end of the week."

{ Keiichi: Oooh... The Americans are going to be pissed... }

Takano shrugged. "Well, Harley-Davidson needed a buyer to rescue it. Can't be helped. And it was annoying. I had to scrounge around on that uncharted reef for a month to find enough platinum bars from the shipwreck to pay for the acquisition. I mean, there weren't any typhoons, hurricanes, tornados, or big storms anywhere. And at the height of the season! The meteorologists were starting to really scratch their heads. It was so embarrassing."

{ Keiichi: Oh. }

"There is another reason I stopped by."

{ Keiichi: Hmm? }

"Keiichi, I'm pregnant again. A girl."

Skuld, Chrono, and Keiichi all cheered, "Yay!" "Congrats!" "Wow!"

{ Keiichi: Wow! I get another sister! Wait, I thought you and Dad were through because you declined the Judgement Gate? }

"It is a new age, the Fifth Age. Everything resets. So this time we elected to go through the Judgement Gate together, and we passed."

{ Keiichi: Double congrats! Why you didn't tell me? }

"I didn't want to say anything in case we didn't make it."

{ Keiichi: Oh I see. Still, wonderful! }

"Yes! Well, I need to get going. Sorry to be in such a rush. I have such a busy roster this week. I need to flood New Orleans again with another Cat 4 hurricane, and I'm already behind schedule. They believe it's all because of man-made global warming. What a bunch of junk science. And I don't mean the skewed temp charts, the bad placement of temp stations in hot asphalt parking lots, or putting them right next to air conditioner vents, or the bogus computer models with proven biases in their source code that have already totally flunked all their predictions during the past 15 years. I don't mean any of that. What I mean is, look at the sun... the sun is cooling! That yellow ball in the sky has a teeny weeny affect on the weather too, you know."

{ Keiichi: Yeah, I guess it does. }

"I know! Right? The inter-glacial period is now ending, and the glaciers will come roaring back and smother everything, like they did for 90% of Earth's history. The extra CO2 is wonderful - Earth hasn't been this fertile in millennia. And global temperatures are staying flat. It's perfect. It's like it was planned that way or something. Sorry, I'm ranting. You know how moody I get sometimes. Anyway, I'm off to flood the French Quarter! Bye!"

Takano whirled away.

Skuld yelled for them both, "Bye Mom!"

{ Keiichi: Well, that was nice of her to stop by. }

{ Skuld: Yes it was. Uhm, Keiichi, dearest? That reminds me. }

{ Keiichi: Mmm? }

{ Skuld: I have a small surprise for you you. }

{ Keiichi: What, you're pregnant again? Wait, that's impossible.. hey! }

{ Skuld: No, dummy. The paperwork from the Promotion Board finally went through. She just got promoted to be the head of the Second Dominion. She is graduating from reality level 16 up to reality level 38. I mean, wow, that high. Can you believe it? With no education at all? }

{ Keiichi: Wow, really? }

{ Skuld: Yeah. Look, see? Follow my eyes up. Way up. See that way up there? Heading between the Upper Gates? Way up there, going from 16 to 38? She is moving up to the big leagues. I mean, wow, that's amazing. }

And so, using Skuld's eyes, whose sharpness surpassed those of the greatest eagle on Earth, a gift from her former Valkyrie status as the leader of the Fighting Wings, Keiichi looked up. And he thought that for the briefest moment he saw a great white bird, flying high, high, oh so high in the blue sky above.

Then he saw a small flash of light.

And then, several seconds later, using Skuld's ears, he heard a distant thunder-clap.

{ Keiichi: That dumb dropout.. heh. That flash would have looked soooo much better at night. }

They both continued to look upward.

{ Keiichi: Upper Gate 38. Wow. }

{ Skuld: I know. That's impressive. She's really going places. }

Skuld could feel him smiling inside her. Outwardly she did the same.

The white bird then left their view and passed over the horizon as it headed for Upper Gate 38. It had graduated and moved on.

Keiichi caressed her mind as a thank-you.

They left the park together.

* * *

**Coda**

What a rotten day.

Yu Himura staggered into in the mens-only dormitory on the Nekomi university campus and collapsed on his tatami mat in his tiny dorm room.

He mussed up his silver hair with his hands in frustration, then rubbed his yellow-grey eyes. His knew that his eyesight was getting bad. Not good for a budding artist. He knew he would need to get eyeglasses soon.

He had another awful day at the college. The other students in the Art Department had mocked him mercilessly again. It was because he was always drawing pictures of that girl. That same girl.

The girl he was always obsessed with.

_Well, I can't fly_

_At least not yet_

_I've got no halo on my head_

It was the girl who had a crush on him back at the orphanage when they were six years old, whom he had forgotten shortly thereafter when he was adopted away. She then re-appeared in his life in high school when he was sixteen years old, and so they fell in love all over again, for she had never forgotten him. She was the girl who was so terribly sexually molested by her own adopted father, Yu's high school art teacher. She was the girl that he tried to rescue from his clutches, whom he stole away and hid to protect her. The girl he could not protect even then, in their hastily rented hidden apartment, the one they rented and shared together under a false married name and a false age. It was because the teacher had searched and discovered them, and had spirited her away again before he could return.

Despite everything he tried, he could not protect her from her adopted father and torturer. His art teacher. The art teacher who was obsessed with drawing pictures of her. The teacher whom he discovered in the act with her, and who then burned himself alive in his art studio, with all his drawings of her, while they watched.

And, finally free from the nightmare, they had at last begun a wonderful life together in their shared apartment, in peace.

But not for long.

For not one month later, she was the girl, after the hit-and-run, who had dragged her broken and bleeding body from the street to a tree, and had whispered the beginning of the song _A Moon Filled Sky_ to herself as she bled out and died alone. She was the girl whose dead body Yu had then found, picked up, and took in a wedding carry to the hospital, all on that terrible Christmas Eve afternoon.

The girl was Yuko Amamiya.

And now, four years later, at the age of 20, Yu Himura was still alone. All alone. For he could not force himself to move on. He had decided that he would remain alone for the rest of his life. Being an agnostic, he decided that instead he would bring her to life again in his art. And so she would live on, inside his mind.

And that would be enough.

He continued to lay on his dorm mat and stared at the ceiling. He didn't want to sleep. Because then he would dream again, and it would be the same dream that it always was.

He decided to order a pizza. He dialed the number. Someone answered.

"Goddess Help Line, how may I assist you?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I must have the wrong number.."

"One moment please."

And then someone came right out of the small mirror in his dorm room. It was a girl dressed in black, like a Greek Orthodox nun, wearing a black pillbox hat and a long flowing heavy black skirt with a white nun's frock. She was stunningly beautiful. Indeed, without the heavy black nun attire, she would have looked just like a beautiful 22 year-old supermodel with no imperfections whatsoever. Her hair was dark blue, long, and flowing, and she had beautiful deep ruby colored eyes. And her face was demure with a gentle smile.

He recognized her. He was stunned.

"Yuko..?"

"Yu-kun."

"Yuko!"

"Yes. Has it been a long time for you?"

He wiped his tears.. "Yes, it has..."

"It hasn't been for me."

He saw the white binders that she always wore in her hair. Hey, they look like little angel wings. She always wore those, even at age six. He wondered why he never noticed that before. She always wore them. And she was wearing them now. Angel wings. Of course.

He said, "I'm so sorry."

"I know."

"Why are you here?"

"Because I have just passed the examination to become a new goddess, first class.. uh, oops, I mean angel, first class. So sorry. They keep confusing me, mixing the old and new terminology like that. I'm not supposed to use the old terms. Now where was I? Oh yes. What I meant to say was that I had passed the test to become a new _angel_, first class, second category, unlimited license."

He just continued to stare at her.

She said, "I know it seems a bit unusual. Mortals aren't normally promoted to become angels like this. But they said they were short-staffed. Due to some heavenly war or something. They said they needed new recruits, so I volunteered."

She made a polite little cough and then she cleared her throat. "Ahem. Let me see.. what am I supposed to say now.. oh yes. Yu Himura, because of your pure heart and the bad karma of your life, it has been decided that you may receive one wish. I am here to grant you that wish."

Yu decided this must be a new variation on that dream. "What kind of wish?"

"Anything that your heart desires."

A pause. It didn't feel like a dream this time...

Was it possible?

He said sheepishly, "Would you.. would you please stay with me.. forever?"

She smiled. "I was hoping you would say that."

Not a dream! He grabbed and hugged her tightly. "Yuko! You will!?"

She gently returned her hug. "Of course I will. I hate these exams. The classrooms. Did you know those other girls shoot Pu94 spit balls at each other? How rude. I'd much rather stay down here, with you."

"I can't believe this."

"Do you think you can rescue me one last time?"

"Of course I will."

They held each other, hugged, and laughed, with joyful tears. Then they separated and held their hands together.

Yu looked deep into the dark ruby eyes of the woman he thought he would never see again.

"Yuko.. uhm, I have a question."

"Yes?"

"Can you cook?"

_The grace of God has raised me up_

_Because I know things_

_The angels only wish they knew_

* * *

**A/N:**

This epilogue was inspired by the song _Angel's Wish_ on the album _All Things New_ by Steven Curtis Chapman. It is the official ending song for this story.

The one-shot fic _Oh! My Angel Yuko!_ is a longer version of the coda given above. It contains the detailed backstory of the tragedy, and with a longer reunion scene sans the comedy riffs above. You can find _Oh! My Angel Yuko!_ by clicking on my handle (HuuskerDu) at the top.

I just had to do it. Poor Yuko so very badly needed some fanfic author to finally to give her some love and a happy ending. Nobody else has done it yet, so I stepped up to the plate. Here it is, Yuko, you deserve it.

* * *

**A/N:**

I explained back in Chapter 25 that _ef_ is fundamentally an optimistic story, even in the face of the worst tragedies. How do I know this? Easy, just listen to the voiceovers that roll after the final credits of the last episode, with each sentence below voiced by a different voice actor:

_Keep moving forward, one step at a time._

_You will reach your destination one day._

_Even if you are sad, you'll be okay._

_If you can just reach out your hand, someone will be there to share their warmth with you. _

_Any path, no matter how difficult, can be crossed as long as you keep on holding to that hand._

_Please, never give up._

_There is happiness at the end of that long, long journey._

_And that happiness will grow, and bring warmth to the people around you._

_And I hope that you will realize one day that you were the happiness in someone else's life._

_Don't forget that you are not alone._

_You will leave your footprints._

_They will reach beyond time._

_And you'll look up into the heavens, and realize that you can go there, even if you don't have wings._

Amen.

Thank you again for reading this story.

Here is my last, final, word of advice to you, dear reader:

You cannot walk out of the screen of the video game of life on your own. You have to be pulled up out of the screen. There ain't no other way.

All you have to do is hold out your hand, and let Him pull you up. You don't need angel's wings to get there.

It's that simple.

-HuuskerDu


	29. Chapter 29: Afterword

**Chapter 29: Afterword**

I was sound asleep and having a pleasant dream. One can never remember how a dream starts, only how it ends.

It was shortly after dinner. I had put away the dishes and I was now sitting in my favorite chair while watching _Haibane Renmei_ on the flat panel, thinking about Rakka and her Day of Flight. What will she discover beyond the wall? What is out there? Hey, what if Rakka flies out beyond the wall and finds that afterlife high school in _Angel Beats!_ maybe? She would be the right age for attending high school by then. Hey, I like that, a nice crossover story.

Let's assume that Rakka is able to hide her angel wings after landing at the school, like Kanade can. Say, what if Kanade is an ex-pat from Glie too? She was the Haibane's original mentor, Kuramori. Yeah! Kanade left on her Day of Flight years ago. Rakka then meets her own mentor, Reki, another ex-pat who arrived a few years prior. The cigarette smoking Reki is still sour and angry inside, because she still feels hurt and upset with Kuramori/Kanade for abandoning them all back in Glie (they were very close friends). Kanade was their leader and she just up and disappeared one day. Reki almost didn't make it because of Kanade abandoning her (or so she thinks), so there is a lot of tension between them now. Reki is a major player in Yurippe's brigade, a strong antagonist, and Kanade's aloof personality makes it worse. Kanade was never so distant and aloof back in Glie, so what had changed? Why is her personality so different now? What happened to her, and why?

Meanwhile Yurippe is creating havoc as usual and she is now scheming how to exploit the situation with the new arrival, Rakka. Otanashi tries to gamely help the new girl, and in doing so he and Rakka get close. Kanade starts to feel jealous unconsciously, as it appears to her as if Rakka is now trying to steal the heart of the one man who can help her move on. Does she have her own feelings for him? And what about Reki? Ooh.. I see major plot twists.. There's definitely a good story possibility here..

Such a pleasant dream. Then my reverie was interrupted. It was because I saw someone standing before me, blocking my view of the panel. It alarmed me because she seemed to appear out of nowhere. At first I didn't recognize her, which was ironic because I created her as a character in one of my other fanfics. I must still be dreaming...

_Hello there!_

Gaah! Who the heck are you? Where did you come from?

_It's me, silly. Lind. You ended my fanfic story. I just popped up a level._

Stand back! And don't wave that crazy pole-axe at me!

_What, this old thing? It's my number 15 halberd, my power limiter. I'm actually more dangerous without it. You want me to put it down?_

Yes!

_Ok, fine. There, happy?_

Thank you. Ugh, I must be having a nightmare. It's gotta be that late-night pizza.

_You are right, I'm just inside your head. I'm a blessing to some, a nightmare to others!_

Wait, did you just quote a line from the film Excalibur at me?

_Yeah. The character of Merlin. So?_

Sheesh, now I'm doing crossovers in my sleep.

_Hey, it was a good line._

Yeah, I guess. Anyway, why are you shoving yourself into my sleepy head?

_I want to get in on some of that sweet crossover action you got going on over in your other fic._

Huh? Which one?

_You know the one, your big honking huge epic sprawling galactic romance mystery fic. That one. The Final Act of Ha-chooky Soo-zoo-mee-ah._

You can't read, can you..

_Yeah, you caught me. I'm functionally illiterate. That's why I never read Tyr's briefing folders. And why I hate paperwork so much._

You know, that explains a lot.

_Shush, don't tell anybody. So, can I please have a crossover? Pretty please? Pretty pretty please? Pretty pretty please with sugar on top?_

Ok, ok! Fine. I'll add you to the crossover pile. Dunno when I'd get to it though. That stack is getting so high, and the plot diagram is so spheghetti-ed up right now, I dunno how I'm ever going to possibly untangle it and hit the sweet, sweet, ending I got cooked up.

_Nice challenge you set for yourself. Is it a good ending? I love good endings. I really liked the one gave me here in Fifth Kind._

Uh, you did? I killed you..

_Naw. I just ended up in a higher reality level than *you*. That was a neat trick, by the way._

Oh? Uhm, thanks.

_Yeah. Level 38 is keeping me pretty busy. It took a while for me to get a handle on the non-Euclidian geometry up here so I can finally fly straight. _

Really? That's great. Anyway, the ending for your story was way simpler than the beyond-epic two-way parallel transfinite ending I got cooked up over in that other fic.

_Is that ending good?_

Oh yeah. Wow.. I can't believe I wrote that. I go through five hankies every time I read it. It's like I'm getting higher help from somewhere.

_Oooh.. I'd love to see that ending!_

I'm still working on it. It's an incredibly intricate story line.

_Great! That means there is still time to work me in! What do I need to do?_

It's easy. Just dive one reality-level down from this one and get inside. You should be pretty good at doing that by now. Here's the URL.

http colon slash slash fanfiction dot net slash s slash 9245566 slash 1 slash The-Final-Act-of-Haruki-Suzumiya

_I can barely read, you idiot._

Oops. Ok, just go to and set the Search box to 'Writer' and type in 'HuuskerDu'. You can type, right?

_Yeah. I'll have to put my glasses on. Hunt and peck. I'll find it._

Well, there you go. Get over to that fic. Oh, I forgot one thing: You will need to first watch about nine hours of animes in the Haruhi Suzumiya series. It's mandatory, otherwise the fic will make no sense at all. The introduction explains it. See the Author Notes at the top of the first chapter.

_Ok. The anime has no subtitles I hope? I don't want to have to get Peorth to read them to me aloud. She's always ripping on me for only having a GED._

Relax, the prereq animes are all English speaking dubs. The dubs are really well done (IMHO). The anime otaku purists hate dubs, but I think a good dub beats reading a bunch of badly translated subtitles any day of the week. It's nine hours long, though. Mandatory.

_Ok, cool. I'll pop extra popcorn. Bye!_

She's gone, good. Sheesh, I thought I'd never get rid of her. I need my sleep. Feh, can't sleep now. Might as well stay awake. Hmm, I still got that pesky brightness problem in Haruki plot diagram. Gotta fix it. Hey, Lind! Yeah.. a crossover! Hmm..

**The End**


End file.
